Welcome to the Senseless Drivel of Brandon's World

I resolve to dissolve my resolutions

2012-01-07T11:44:00.000-08:00

So in my last post I commented on how I did not really believe in the 'effect' of new years resolutions. My logic was that its just another night in your life, and unless you resolve to do something about yourself nothing will change. You are the beginning of change in your own life. Makes sense, right? Well apparently, to a lot of people it does not and that is why resolutions fail.

A study by Miller and Marlatt shows that 92% of people admit to failing their resolutions. The example I will use is getting 'fit,' since the study found that almost 50% of people listed getting in shape/eating better as their resolution. The problem is, "going to the gym" is a tainted resolution. Are you going to continue this for the rest of your life? If you stop going in 34 years, did you fail? There is no end goal. Sure you can resolve to lose 10 Lbs by June. That works. A friend of mine, Justin, said something that makes a lot of sense. He said something like, getting in shape is not just something that you do. Its something you become. Its a lifestyle, not an activity, and it starts with changing you. This can be said for a lot of things.

About a month after my relationship ended, I resolved to improve myself. I have a lot of flaws and a lot of issues to deal with. I felt that I could learn more about myself by reading and writing. Nothing in particular, reading everything from text books, to wikipedia articles, to cinematography books, and I simply wrote whatever I felt like writing. I wrote about being overcharged by the phone company, about my room being messy, about wildfires, homeless people, Masonic temples, raccoon's, BPA free water bottles, my understanding of the human psyche(that was a short one), my definition of what I want in a friend, mending bridges, why things bother me, and so on and so forth. I feel that through these stupid little writings, some of them just a basic question and some bullet point answers, I learned a lot about myself.

I came home from work yesterday to my room, which was messy, with packed up boxes and stuff that should be thrown out, and realized, this is not me anymore. My surroundings, my lifestyle, it was strange, I just did not feel at home. I felt like I was still all packed up, like in a hotel or something. So I went all 'cleaning lady' on my room, threw a ton of stuff out, unpacked things, hung curtains, put away laundry, etc, etc, etc...

I woke up this morning refreshed, with a clear head, in a clean room, with beautiful sunlight peeking in. It was amazing. I had not felt this well in months. I was happy. I realized, that I have a handful of good friends, a great roommate, a loving family, and of course my Mexican Softball Team. I should be happy, I am lucky, I don't need to resolve to do shit. I just need to live my life the way I want to live it. I am not sure why it has taken me this long to figure this out. I just need to be me. Loud, obnoxious, intrusive, fun-loving Brandon. There are things that I want to change and am working hard at, getting in shape, excelling in my classes, thriving at my job...but those are not resolutions those are simply things that I am adapting to fit my lifestyle. The Brandon Plan. Its the new hot thing. I have a gym buddy, thanks, Lar-bear, I'm enrolled in my classes, and I think I might have the coolest job ever, with the best co-workers.

I saw some old co-workers last night at a softball fundraiser and they said, you look so good, you're smiling, you look happy. Its because for the first time in seemingly forever, I am.

Enjoy your weekend!

The 'new' year...

2011-12-29T11:06:00.000-08:00

All I have seen on facebook the last couple of days are people posting "thank god 2011 is over", "2011 sucked," "2011 this and that, and a sack of nuts."

Well...I'm pretty sure 2012 is not going to change anything. Your life is still gonna suck, you are still going to be in the rat race and your still going to wake up every morning wishing this year was over...UNLESS...you decide to make the effort to change things. Shits not going to change just because you get to open your new cool desk calendar. Its only going to change because you make it change. The date is really just a trivial number that means NOTHING in the long run. Most of 2011 was enjoyable for me. The last three months have been really turbulent. I don't let on much, but I am really down right now. I try to keep the cheery disposition and try to enjoy what I can, but its really hard.

I caught myself saying "Thank God 2011 is over!" Then I started thinking, I'm not just going to wake up on Sunday and magically be out of this funk. It just does not happen that way. I have tried really hard to go out and make new friends and avoid the negatives that come with living 500 feet from boys town. And I think I have. I have met a few new people in the last 2 months and little do they know, they have made a huge impact in my life. Most importantly for me is that I have met these people on my own accord. I met them through other friends. Look at this bitch network! I have only made about 5 trips to the bars(1 for a birthday, 1 with Padraic and Kelly, 2 for fundraisers and I'm sure there was another one), which for me is mind-boggling.

Come Sunday, it will be the start of a new year, and a new me as well. I'm not going to say resolution because those always fail. I am simply going to say, that I want to be happy, and I know what I need to do to be happy. So I am just going to do it. Its not a dramatic lifestyle change or anything, its simply taking control of your emotions and disposition. Controlling your destiny sounds wild and dramatic, so I won't got that far, but you get the idea. One of my favorite quotes was by Lil' Wayne or something, "Be the Change you want to see in the world." Its about time that I become proactive in my life and stop letting the last 3 months get me down. I need to stop questioning whether or not I/we made the right decision, because every time I do, regret sets in, and that only holds you back. Decisions are made for a reason and are generally based on assumptions that something will either work or not work. Some are good, some are bad. But there is nothing you can to change it other than move on, and move on I shall. I will be happy, and that's all that matters, because I am the most important person in my world.

That being said, I hope you all have an absolutely amazing (AND SAFE) New Years Eve.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi

Sister Bandits

2011-10-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the third week in a seemingly abbreviated softball season. We played really well, won both of our games and are now tied for first place. This season has been a good one. We lost our first game a few weeks ago and have not lost since. Five straight wins. I attribute a lot of it to the camaraderie and chemistry that the team has. We are all having fun. Fun at practice, fun during the games, fun at fundraisers, and on and on. Everyone on the team has a thick skin and really knows how to have fun, the nicknames, the inside stories...Jesus I need a translator...

Saturday after practice, Angel suggested that we get some Michelada's at this place called Mi Lupita in Long Beach, sounds good to me! had a couple of those and then headed out to meet Laaaaaarrry at the Mineshaft. Cute name for a gay bar right? Almost as good as "The Black Hole" or "Desperation." So anyways, Angel's roommies, Jose and Frank joined us along with their friend Eric. We played some pool, drank some drinks, got kicked outta Paradise Cafe, almost got kicked out of Chili's, watched a scary movie, donkey punched a hooker, balanced the federal budget and really had a great time. I am pretty sure I am now an honorary citizen of Long Beach, but I can't guarantee anything. I am thinking that Saturdays in LB with Larry, Angel and Chelada's might have to become a repeat offense. Happy Monday scrubs. :-)

First post in a long time....

2011-10-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

Had a nice chat with a dip-shit today. I LOVE mocking people, you should add him/her on facebook. :-)

Ernie Bondy Jr.:
Homosx is inborn? Sorry, There is solid scientific proof that there is no gay gene. Google it. We screwed up marriage?! Nothing screws marriage up as does the confused idea of unproductive, go nowhere homosexual marriage. What is perverted? It is homosexuality of course, but also it is to corrupt little brains by forcing homosexual beliefs down the throats of our children.Yes, this Country is in trouble, that is if you people get your way. But you won't, not with out the fight of your lives! We far right conservatives aren't going anywhere! :)
Reply · Like · 12 hours ago

Brandon Watson
Ernie Bondy Jr., You don't have to go anywhere, you can stay right where you are. Stay right there and let a beautiful, accepting, progressive world pass you by. By all means, stay there, don't stand up for the humane rights and treatment of your fellow humans. Doesn't your bible tell you that we are all children of god? Or do you read the gay/women/shellfish = abominations version...?

I am a 29 year old openly gay male living "a life of sin." This is not a choice. I am a human being. I pay my fair share of taxes, donate to charity, volunteer for organizations, vote at every election, pay my rent on time, work 40+ hours a weeks. Now what in those aforementioned things do you have a problem with? You are not college educated are you? Have ever gotten a chance to live your life? Or are you simply living a life that was designed and planned out for you by people who were born in the 40's/50's. These are all serious questions. I need to know if you are detrimental to the heterosexual children I plan to adopt one day. I need to know if I need to try and vote away your rights? Have you been married? Divorced? These are all very important things. Aren't they? I am all about protecting the sanctity and bond of marriage. Factoring in that, since gays are only allowed to legally Marry in a handful of states, and only recently might I add, I can safely assert that it is YOU people committing the sins, and defecating on the sanctity of marriage. What are y'all looking at now, about a 54% divorce rate? Wow, that's...impressive??? Hmmm...maybe not a good example...

By your logic, homosexual sex is "unproductive." Really? you tell us this now!?? We have been trying and trying and trying for years now, and no pregnancy!! You waited to tell me until now that I cannot get knocked up through anal intercourse, ugh...You people...What, then by definition is sex with a prophylactic? (Prophylactic = condom/birth control/just the tip(?), in case you needed to know) That is as well, pretty unproductive, no?

I don't know how old you are, I am going to guess(based on the jr. in your name, and the old-ish profile picture) that you are somewhere between 16-85. If I were to guess based on the ancient ideas you are spewing forth, which you undoubtedly found in the 54th reprint/translation of a thousand+ year old picture-less comic book(That's the Bible in case you missed it), I would guess on the higher end of the age spectrum. Of course you did reference "Google" too, that's kinda throwing me for a loop. I looked up information on gay genes on google, but then got sidetracked when it redirected me to gay jeans. I was then led to G-Star Raw and got the cutest pair of gay jeans ever! You should see them, they give my butt lift, it looks AMAZING. Anyways, sorry, I have the "Off on a tangent" gene as well, and sometimes, well, yeah...

The whole point of that last spiel was to make you realize that that you are a nincompoop. Yes, that is a real word. You can find anything on google. There are many more articles, a 10-1 ratio easy, that talk about the discovery of sexuality genetics. Honestly, do you think that we would choose to live this horrendous and oppressed lifestyle of shopping, sexuality, fabulousness, dancing, cocktails, style and fashion? No absolutely not! :-)

In all seriousness, you keep sitting there. Dig in for this fight. This new world that we are branching into where people are free to love one another might be moving to fast for you. I would not want you to get hurt in the process. We have to protect such antiquities as yourself. After all, you are a rare and dying breed. Now what is your home address, I wanna come over and sodomize your dad/brother/husband(eh, probably not), son...Much love, whether you want it or not...

Brandon

Still waiting on my new friends response. :-)

Why the world needs more, gulp Roseanne Barrs

2010-03-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

I am going to let someone else do the talking today. This was from Rosanne Barr/Arnold's blog regarding The suicide of Marie Osmond's Son Michael Bryan Osmond, who was apparently gay. All spelling errors are left in for effect...

FROM ROSEANNE'S BLOG:

marie osmonds poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it. Calling that "depression" is a lie!
Yet the Osmonds still talk lovingly about their church, saying nothing about its extremely anti-gay Crusade. Marie also has a gay daughter! Hey, I want her and all the gay kids in the world to know that they are just fine being gay and that they deserve love and respect instead of insults and rebuke! I have gay people in my family and my circle of friends and I am kicking bigot ass and taking names!
That is how its done in my religion---(I have my own religion that I made up for myself and it is a great religion that actually works and respects facts and not fantasy!)

Gerald Lund one of the ex church apostles has three gay kids himself. Yet, even though the people they say they love the most in all of their public displays and speeches (THEIR KIDS AND FAMILY!!) are gay,-- their own children,for crying out loud- these people cannot find the christian decency and compassion within themselves to stop their hypocritical gay bashing!! How sickening. I know so many mormon kids who were gay and committed suicide, and I just cannot and will not stay quiet in order to not offend bigots anymore. It is all so terribly depressing.

Marie please don't talk about how your faith in your church has helped you get through this one! Please get some integrity and tell that church of yours that you will leave it and stop giving it ten percent of your money if they don't stop trying to destroy your kids' and all gay people's civil rights and dreams and hopes!!

G-d is trying to use you for something good and this is your opportunity! Your church is wrong and on the wrong wrong wrong side of things! Get as vocal about that as you are about your diet. G-d bless you too, Marie.

Take a hard look at the facts now as you use this very sad time for introspection, healing growth and prayer, and become a strong symbol for loving mothers who make no apologies for hatred against their own kids!

And after she got some hate mail from the bigamous right, she took this down and posted a "Pseudo-Apology." Read:

I saw on the front page of a tabloid that he had killed himself because he could not handle being gay, and I wrote about how angry that made me, after seeing it hundreds of times, growing up as I did in Utah. I don't know the Osmonds, but was always offended at their constant defense of the indefensible things that their church does, the way it promotes hatred and racism and sexism, tax free.

I have known so many gay people who killed themselves, or suffered and that is why I put myself on the line to bring TV's first gay characters to America. I never intended for my comments to be picked up and broadcast on sleazy gossip TV shows, or on other blogs. That was done without my consent or knowledge.

I always intended that my remarks are directed to Power, and always on behalf of its victims. I am sorry to have hurt Marie Osmond, who is the most open minded person in her whole family. I really apologize to her. I thought about waiting to say what I had to say, but then I thought that perhaps there was no better time to add to the conversations in America about homophobia.

Alot of people know they are gay at age three, and I just feel that is why parents should keep little ones away from organizations that tell them from an early age that they are sick and going to hell and not worth the love of God. That is so vile, and a large part of the reason that I never sent my own kids to any synagogue or other religious place ever. You never know if your kids are gay, and aside from that, why would you want to take any of them to a place to learn about God, that teaches hate?

I really encourage parents to stop destroying their children by doing that. It is not good family values. Being gay is not a choice. I didn't choose to be straight anymore than my siblings chose to be gay, or we chose to be born Jews in SLC, where we were all tormented daily by hateful Mormon neighbors (not all of them were hateful, but too many were).
Anyway, I apologize again for having added to another mother's pain, and have asked myself if I should have said nothing at all, or waited a while to say what I said. I really don't know. I think it's good to get people talking about being more aware of what we accept, and i know that my comments got people talking.
The hateful letters I have received from the darkest minds of all, the religious, have made me re-think ever adding my views or my voice to anything ever again in this country. It's a scary time in America, for everybody, but especially for people like me who have a less sanitized view of all of it.

I will leave this up for a while, and then I am just done. I appreciate the letters from gay people who thank me for speaking out on their behalf, but y'all are just going to have to take up the slack I will be leaving behind me. I am old now and tired, and not really feeling up to being the only person who says things that no one else will say.
It definitely is not a good way to live my life anymore. I don't want to end up a martyr for truth. I have felt that people expect me to be loud and outspoken, and I was happy to play that role for many years. I have enjoyed being a comedian and provoking not just laughs, but thinking.
I do not appreciate being accused of using the death of a young suffering person to seek publicity. That is so vile a thought to me, and the people who say it so vile and ignorant, that I feel my absence from the public is desirable. I am done.
I again want to encourage Marie to come through this tragedy as a stronger woman who has alot of power to get bad things in the world changed, starting in her own church. I know that tragedy makes a person rethink their place in the world, and I send her all good thoughts for healing. Anyway, that's that.

And finally, some video evidence! Well, maybe not video evidence, just a cartoon! Everybody loves cartoons!

Corey Haim

2010-03-10T08:58:00.000-08:00

So Sad, of course, what makes it even worse is that it was tragically, not Glenn Beck. :-( Rest in Peace Corey Haim, I'm sure you were really good at that thing...errr...whatever it was that you...did...whenever you were famous, or...whatever, enjoy.

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Since I said I would...

2010-03-08T21:00:00.001-08:00

I had decided awhile ago that I would post freaky/weird/uncomfortable videos as I found them, so here, without further ado is the needle fish. COOOOL!!!

The Rundown, or the catch-up...eh who cares.

2010-03-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

So as can be seen by the most recent post prior to this one, I have not made a single post since late August, or a worthwhile post since, well...Lets just get to the point.

A ton of things have happened; like they tend to over a 6 month period. I lost a job, a license, a friend, a decent chunk of what little dignity I have left, respect for a handful of people, $1600 to the DMV, a little more hair from my already receding/growing scalp/forehead, my car keys (three times) and my marbles (six times). A lot of really crappy things have happened in the past year. However there have been a few good things that have kept me floating. But first the doldrums, because I know that's what you are here for.

First, I lost a job. I was "Terminated" for a violation of policy. I really cannot go much more in depth there so I will just keep it on the opinion level. My previous place of employment is owned by two men. One of them is fantastic, kind, funny, good-spirited, generous and really cares a lot about people in general-especially his employees. The other is a snobby, pompous, vengeful, vindictive, pathetic, angry, sleazy cheapskate who is all about making a dime at the sacrifice of anyone-his own mother included. I was let go for reasons that I definitely did not agree with, but in hindsight, I am glad it happened. It opened the door to a position in a great company. But as good ole' Homer said in the Iliad, "It [revenge] is sweeter far than flowing honey."

One month after losing my job I lost my license. Hmmmm, seemed like a good idea at the time...Well, now I have a roadblock in the form of a ticket that I had received back at UC Davis in 2004. Apparently, I short paid it $52.00. Now I owe the DMV a ri-god-damned-diculous amount of money- in the neighborhood of $1651.00 to $1653.00 before they will renew my license. Sigh... consequences to poor decisions tend to grow exponentially over time. A few courtesy reminders: pay your parking tickets, don't speed, don't eat yellow snow, don't drink and drive, have your animals spayed or neutered and always wear your seat belt (This is a sweet transition if I might add).

I lost a friend last Saturday, February 27th around 11AM. Sarah Rachelle Phillips, one of my really close friends for the last 4+ years was thrown from her vehicle as it rolled six or seven times after hitting a puddle and careening off the Southbound I-805/SR-15 connector. It still really has not sunk in yet and it hurts really badly. Now, I know that even though a large majority of my three readers (2?) have a penchant for sadism to my masochism, but this might even be beyond you sickos. She was a really good person with an infectious laugh and an insatiable appetite for really good beer. :-)

I have a fairly large volume of confidence in the belief that if those three things had happened in the short amount of time that they did, that most of you would be a bit screwy in the noggin. Well I'm not. No more than normal at least. I have a new man in my life. His name is Rodger. Seeing as that we have been together for 5 months on Wednesday, this was probably old news to the most of you. Anyways, he is a fantastic person. Fiery, passionate, motivational, smokin' hot and best of all, hes blind and deaf and thinks I am Justin Timberlake!! No but really, he is all that and more, sans the whole blind and deaf part. He knows me, he sees me for who I am, and he sees my flaws and does not try to fix them. He has made me realize that my last two relationships were dysfunctional and that this is how things are supposed to be. He makes me happy when everything around me and in me is sad. His dumb little smile brightens my day, and the way we communicate offers promise to a better life and existence (Sounds cult-ish huh?). OK, that's enough happy crap. I don't wanna really turn you off of my musings.

I'll try to intentionally put myself in an awkward, blog-post-worthy position in the next couple days for your enjoyment. Until then, sit back, relax and grab a beer.

Miss Princess!

Its hot

2009-08-27T15:05:00.001-07:00

It is ridiculously hot...Not like titillatingly hot, but like uncomfortable to move hot. The kind of hot that makes you feel so sorry for people stuck outside that you want to bring them an ice cold beverage...but instead your sweaty lazy ass merely sits on your sweat saturated sofa and ferments along with the rest of the people in your shanty-town apartment complex.

Some people attempt to escape the heat by going to the movies or another public place with air conditioning. The only problem with that is that you have to deal with all the other assholes and their petulant searching for the coolest seat in the theater. Here's a suggestion, try the public library. Library's are those antiquated structures that hold those old book thingys, usually close to the Central Business District of your respective towns. No one goes there anymore. Should be a good place to cool down in relative silence.

I have compiled another list of places to go when it gets hot, and benefits they offer other than cold air. If you would like to add any to the list, then you need to make your own list. This is my blog, not yours.

Without further ado:

1. Your Local Pool - If you can fight off the hoards of fatties and defecating children, this is a great place to get wet and cool down. Another perk? Hotties in Speedos, or bikinis for my breeder readers...

2. Your Local Quickie Mart - Bring a few friends and a keg tap. Slip the cashier $50 bucks and see if he will let you hang out in the beer fridge. Tap a keg, sit back an enjoy!

3. Your Local Mall - Again, if fighting crowds is your thing, then this should work for you. Added Bonus: Go to Hot Topic/Fredrick's of Hollywood etc and find yourself a nice little pair of latex booty shorts and a fishnet tank top allowing for plenty of air circulation in your otherwise moist spots. Exhibit A.

4. Your Local Nudist Colony - As many of my Facebook friends have stated today, notably Jimmy, Ethan, Greg etc. Today is as good a day as any to be naked. And why relegate yourself to being buff in your own abode? Why not get back to nature and let the ole' twig and berries get some fresh air right? Look out for peeping tom's though, or peeping Brandon's for that matter. Added Bonus: Bring attractive friends for an enjoyably scenic adventure!

5. Your Local Skin Care Formulation Corporation - Completely coat you body in Camphor, Methyl Salicylate or Eucalyptus Globulus Oil. These are highly effective especially if your friends love the smell of Vicks Vapor Rub. Added Bonus: This should remedy any kind of lingering congestion from last nights illicit drug binge that you though was a good idea at the time.

6. Your Local Ice Rink - Duh

I hope that these 6 stay cool remedies help you beat the heat! If not, then come over to my place and hang out with me, I'm pretty distant and frigid...All the time...

Did anyone sans Jason Bowers miss me?

2009-08-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

"So it has been awhile," would be a massive understatement. I have not written since publishing my 1st annual "Eff-You List." I would love to tell you about everything that happened, but frankly, I don't really remember much of anything from mid July til around David's birthday week. Not because of anything exciting like a drug induced coma or dementia, but simply because I just really don't remember. Sooooooo, using the platform of my new favorite website, Textsfromlastnight.com I am going to use incoming and outgoing text messages to frame a storyboard for my last month of life. Its only going to be a few events/conversations, simply because anything else would bore the piss outta me. If you are offended by me using any of our text conversations, then please don't text me anymore. :-) Cheers! All spelling and grammar errors hence forth are as they appear in original context.

July 15th:
David: Have a drink for me! Hey are you going to MyHouse tomorrow for open bar? If so, if I go will you take me straight to the airport after open bar? Haha, Drinks on me :)
Brandon: Yeah, no prob

***I have the best friends, hey Brandon I'll buy you free drinks if you drive me through the airport promptly after the prospect of way too many free drinks at an open bar.***

July 18th:

Brandon: I should be out of work by 2:30. What have you got planned? Wanna sit by the pool?
Jason: Let's do it!
B: Alright, I'll bring the vodka!
J: Haha, can we do boxed wine instead? I'm trying to keep away from the hard stuff.

***In was not able to go to San Diego pride due to work, so this seemed like the most plausible thing to do on a sunday afternoon. Although there was some aftermath from the friends who did go to San Diego, namely Nareth's Drunk Ass.***

Brandon: I can't make it
Nareth: You promised brandon! Stop making exauses! I'm walking to the BBQ now.
B: I'm not making excuses and I never promise anything. I have to work at 8am tomorrow anyways
N: Dude wrtd, when u said u wwerebt going to SF pirde unsaid u will go to SD pride
B: That's before I knew I had to work this much this weekend. Btw, Kris Allen...Awful skin!!!
N: Ok whatever, have fun aT Jasons

***This is the first time that my little gay bestie was mad at me. I was soooo upset, so then Jason and I drank and ate fried chicken. Happy Pride!***

July 22nd:

This one comes from a Facebook status update:

Brandon Watson is no longer in control of his emotions. Its kinda invigorating though, it makes me feel human. It makes me feel real. It makes me feel alive again...

***Can you say Koo-Koo!!! Or if you can't hit the right pitch, just say pathetically fucking nuts.***

July 25th:

Brandon: What are you doing?
David: Nothing, getting bored thinking bout going to the gym or shopping...u still at work?
B: I'm done. Wanna go to the gym?
D: Ehh I do but I don't...but I'll go...can you come over and watch me rotate my tires first :)

***Oh yeah, that's right, that is why I can't remember what the hell I am EVER doing, my life is sooo painfully boring. "Yeah, hell yeah!! I'd love to watch you rotate your tires!!!***

July 30th

Brandon: What did you do last night?
Greg: Oh nothing at all, haha, u
B: Damn
B: I'm really not completely sure. I was hoping I saw you out last night
G: Nope, what do u mean u don't remember? Were you drunk?
B: No, I had maybe 2 drinks over 4 hours. I have been making up stories all day about what I did last night, and they are all based off of assumptions of how my Tuesday nights normally go.haha
G: Um, Today is Thursday douche...
B: Yeah thats what I meant. I think...
G: Do you really not remember last night?
B: No! I remember taking a few tylenol PM because I was not feeling well and then heading out to the abbey? Or maybe Here lounge?
G: Dumbass, I was out last night! I said Hi to you, at the Abbey with all of your coworkers. You were taking pictures, waiting for two friends next door. You should really not take Tylenol opm anymore!!!!!!1
B: Ohhhhhh yeah! now I remember! Alright, gtg, just took some tylenol PM and am heading to the dodger game with David! :-)

***You can't be addicted to Tylenol can you?***

This brings me to Friday, August 7th. The day before David's B-day. His cousin Duy was in town so we were busy bodies trying to entertain him. My dearest amigo Chris Trudell from San Diego was taking his boat out on Lake Elsinore and wanted to know if we wanted to meet him out there. So we did. We had a blast on the lake, lots of bud light and El Pollo Loco. Then a nice Mexican Food Dinner after wards.

We got back in time to clean up and go to Rage, because, well, that's where David wanted to go, and he was in charge. Rage was fun, David was a tad bit smashed, but nothing compared to his straight cousin Duy who was simply dancing with anyone who would pay him attention. At one point someone bought a round of shots and we were getting ready to take them when he came stumbling over with a piece of cake... WTF?? "Duy, where the shit did you get that cake from?" to which he replied, "It's cake!" Yeah Duy, I know, Its cake...All was humorous.

The normal bar antics resumed for the next two nights, and then on Monday night, because the Bazaar has really ridiculous policies and poor communication skills, we went to Michael Mina's XIV on Sunset and Crescent Heights. The quality of food was great. A bit pricey, but the buttery delicious Kobe burger and the lamb chops were stellar. We went to Fiesta after for delicious Sweet Tea Vodka cocktail! I have a new found love!!

The next weekend, which fell sometime in mid-August(that is all the detail I know), was a little bit different kind of fun...It was Eric Pelovello's birthday and we all went down to Huntington beach for food, drinks and volleyball! It was a ton of fun. I actually got some color other than white or red and everyone had a gay ole' time! I found that running/jumping/diving in the sand results in really sore legs, coupled with an intense leg day at the gym two days later is no bueno.

This last weekend was Anthony's Pool Party on Saturday. Jason's best friends Drew and Peter were in town so it was an extra special party. Anthony co-owns a beautiful place in Sunvalley with a nice pool, spa and indoor bar/cocktail room. Needless to say all of them were utilized. Actually used and abused might be better word for it. We were there for a few hours and David was getting a bit complacent. He said "Let's start drinking." Little did I know what kind of mind-fuck was about to run me over. Let's just say, when David gets buzzed his vocab regresses back to that of a 2 year old kid learning his first words. A kid whose parents are both raging alcoholics. "SHOTS!" over and over and over...Its obvious why he is nicknamed "Shots." It was Okay though, I was not too bad. I had met a couple of new people and was socializing when Steven said, "Who wants to play flip cup?" .... Now, I am pretty gay, I like gay things, art, cinema, clothes, shoes, spas, theater, etc...but I'm not 100% gay...When I heard "Flip Cup" I turned into a menace, hungry to compete to prove that I am the beer chugging cup flipping king! And I did, I won a little tournament style thing that they had set up...And now I was hammered. I was not driving that night, so I kinda just let myself go to hell in a hand basket.

The next day, David and I went to Lunch with Elliott, Angie and Anne in Brentwood. Slightly hungover, we decided that Dim Sum is a fantastic way to go. And it was!! After lunch Elliott and Angie took off down to see the parents in SD and David and I went over to Toppers to sit in the steam room, and of course have a couple cocktails. Then Fro-Yo, then Micky's, then home to bed...

This is as much as I remember. I am going to try and post more often so that I DON'T have to resort to these mind-numbingly boring methods or data collection...

My Birthday is coming up, September 3rd. Still really not sure what I am going to do for it. Maybe just dinner and drinks. Maybe a Pool Party at Canvas LA? Not really sure. Any who, to those of you that stuck with me for this long, thanks for reading!

My Inaugural "Eff-You" List

2009-07-16T09:31:00.000-07:00

I have compiled lots of things that annoy me, from the mundane(#12) to the serious(#59)

1. Here Lounge
2. Open Bar @ Here Lounge
3. 8AM Work shifts
4. Free Shots
5. Free Shots at Mickey's that are pint glass sized
6. Greenwich Village Pizza
7. Go-go dancers who smoke, as if you are not gross enough...
8. iPhone Alarm clocks
9. Open bar @ Here Lounge
10. Repetition
11. Waking up early
12. "Little People" (meaning anyone under 5'6", Eff-You Nareth, hehe)
13. Pat Buchanan
14. Open bar at "My House" (a future Eff-You)
15. My lack of Will-Power
16. Hope, the kind that misleads you to a point of destruction
17. Gays who think Obama is on our side
18. Anyone who has not seen The Never Ending Story and Labyrinth
19. Asher Roth
20. Lebron James
21. Organized religion
22. Millennium software
23. Miller High Life
24. The Gross Domestic Product of Iceland, which is made up entirely by Bjork's inaudible screams and Swan Dresses, but not Ice.
25. the :-P Emoticon. Is it a cute "sticky outty" tongue, or an angry one?
26. Catcher in the Rye, Snooze-Fest, and on that note, anything by James A Michner. C'mon, has anyone really read all 1088 pages of the source?
27. Fat People
28. Skinny People
29. People
30. Professional Sports in San Diego, I hope the Chargers move to LA!
31. This guy:
32. Jay-walkers
33. Hernias, never had one but they just don't sound that amusing.
34. Pontiac Azteks
35. Parking Meters
36. Things from Mighigan, Delaware, Alabama and Utah, in no particular order
37. Crocodicles, Alligators, you're cool, but Eff-You Crocodiles and your pointy snouts...
38. While on animals, Tarsirs, Geoducks, Rhode Island Reds, Pigeons, and anything that births its babies by way of its back. Yeah, I'm talking to you Mr. Suriname Toad!!

39. Motel 6
40. Whores
41. Anything born prior to the year 1900, quit taking my fresh air! You're turn is over!
42. Conservatives
43. Ultra-conservative, really now? Who is that stupid to label themselves as Ultra-Conservative. Its a direct translation to any of the following: Ultra...Racist/Ignorant/Socially awkward/misled/hateful/self-centered/etc, and is a direct translation in Swahili, I believe, to a Bag of Douche...I may be a little lost in translation though.
44. Depleted Uranium

45. Sarah Palin
46. Sarah Palin
47. Sarah Palin
48. Incandescent light bulbs
49. Wood Paneled Vans
50. Trophy Wives
51. Caddy Gays
52. Facebook Apps
53. Cancer
54. Douche Bag Straight Guys, and Douche Bag Gay guys for that matter
55. AT&T Wireless
56. 100 Spoke Rims
57. Love
58. Back Fat/Love Handles
59. World Peace via war, c'mon really now? Dumbasses
60. Everything Maple...Trees, Bats, wood, leaves, syrup, etc.
61. American Made Cars
62. Those Bugs that live in Watercress
63. Well Tequila
64. Naturally fit people
65. Kobayashi
66. Coffee Bean
67. Lava
68. Tiny Post-It notes
69. NorCal
70. People who get laid
71. 90,000 mile car tune-ups
72. People whom sparingly return your calls
73. Red-Eye, the movie, not the flights, and While I'm on movies, Land of the Lost, Jason and I saw it for free, and still felt ripped off!
74. Anything Will Ferrel, Post 2005
75. Texas Hold'Em
76. Harlequin-type Ichthyosis...look it up on You Tube
77. Generally everyone east of the Mississippi
78. Bad Pho
79. The Number 79

The End

Why I love my friends...

2009-07-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today I'm writing about my friend Elliott.

On Tuesday, after I got outta work, I headed downtown to pick up Jason and head to the gym. My dear friend Ryan was driving back up to Berkeley from San Diego and was going to meet us for dinner and drinks after we got back from the gym. We ended up going to a Thai food place in Thai town called Red Corner. The food was incredible and I think my addiction to fried chicken may be subsiding, thanks to a revisited addiction to Yum Bla Muk, or lemongrass calamari.

Jason, Ryan and I head to the Abbey to meet up with some other friends for a casual drink. We got to the abbey and ordered a drink an waited for Elliott. I can almost pinpoint the exact moment, where the evening was sucked dry of all banality. Keep in mind this was a Tuesday. Ryan kept asking, why are we waiting for Elliott, who is Elliott? Needless to say Ryan was soon to find out who Elliott was. Elliott arrived about 30 minutes after we did and proceeded to buy a round of drinks. Three Vodka Sodas and Two Patron shots later, the lights started coming on. The bar was closing and we were kicked to the curb. Elliott wanted to go get some more food(on this brisk Wednesday Morning) so we did. When the little Korean restaurant refused to serve us more alcohol, at 3AM, we left and went to a karaoke bar in Korea Town. Cue surreal insanity....NOW!

We pull into the parking lot of a certain nameless karaoke bar on Harvard and Wilshire and my attention is immediately drawn to this Asian woman by the back entrance with a stroller. Thought #1, where the hell am I, Thought #2, Who the hell has a baby out at this hour, Thought #3, why does that woman have hairy knuckles and facial hair?? All three of these questions were answered when Elliott went and talked to her/him/her/whatever. It was a man, a very gay looking one at that, with a stroller and two Maltese dogs...WTF? Elliott and heshe chat for a bit in Korean, and then we go upstairs. The place is completely empty, again it is friggin' Wednesday morning at 3AM. We go into a karaoke room and are immediately bombarded with platters of fruit, cuttlefish and Korean ramen. We were RAVENOUS...Then came the large styrofoam cups of Soju and beer. As if it was not bad enough, heshe starts telling Jason how pretty he is and asking him if he has a girlfriend. After the laughter subsides, heshe starts asking us if we want girls tonight. He was trying to pimp call girls to three gay men and drunk Ryan at 3:30AM, Not the best marketing plan if you ask me.

The visual is priceless and I am really not sure my artists rendering will do it justice, so I will let your imaginations run wild. Elliott, Jason, Ryan and myself, karaoke-ing to Bohemian Rhapsody while he/she is groping on his/her prostitute while standing on the table, as two little Maltese dogs run around the room trying to eat what was left of the food...The most random night I have had in recent memory.

When we were driving home, Ryan finally understood why we were waiting for Elliott. Shit just kinda happens when you hang out with Elliott! Hahaha

Dog Semen, Dead people from the 80's and the return of a legend...

2009-06-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

So my plans to go to SF for Pride this weekend fell through at the last second. At first I was a bit bummed and frustrated, but i really think it was a blessing in disguise. I don't really need to be wasting money on booze, and am still kinda reeling from LA Pride. I could use a weekend off. Been wasting a lot of time with a couple friends and have been loving it.

Everyone is dying. David Carradine(Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation), Ed McMahon(Decapitated by one of those big ass Publisher's Clearing House Checks), Farrah Fawcett(Butt-Hole Cancer), Michael Jackson(Cardiac Arrest) and now, the most recognizable of all, Billy Mays. Patrick Swayze is on Home Hospice and Steve Jobs is on his way to the big Apple Store in the sky.

This makes me think about death a little bit and how shitty it actually is. Not the whole dying part, but what everyone does after you die.

David Carradine's family is trying to cover up the fact that David was choking his willy while choking himself.

Michael Jackson's family is already fighting over his estate...Jesus people, at least wait til rigor mortis kick in. And now the gay allegations are flying, and all of his Aides are starting to talk. This should get interesting.

Farrah Fawcett did not have to die. If she just would have had a colostomy done she may very well still be here. But noooooo, she felt like she should be utilizing a German Homeopath...Darwin Awards anyone? When an educated oncologist tells you to do something or you will die, you should probably do it. Instead, you put some herbs in your bum and called it a day...How'd that work for you?

Ed McMahon was apparently a really nice guy, per my old roommate who was his IT guy. And I have nothing to say about Billy Mays. I just really hope that Oxi Clean does not replace Billy Mays with that god damned anal abscess from the Sham-Wow Commercials. Thats all I have to whine about now! Happy Pride Queers!

Pride, Burning houses and Flaming Queens...

2009-06-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

So the last weekend has been pretty busy, both with work and the staggeringly boring social life. It was Pride weekend so I figured that even my social life would be jump started...I was right...and Jump-started it was.

My Pride Weekend started on Friday day. Jason and I went and got Pho at Pho 87 in China town. It was friggin' delicious. After the food coma kicked in, we sat around for a bit, played some nintendo wii, and then went out to the beverly center to get me a shirt for pride. Later that night, we headed over to Gary's casa for a little grub and grog where we met up with Mark and Evan. We got their around 8, made an ice cold beverage and parked it on the balcony listening to some music. Shortly thereafter, David, Nareth, Tim and a host of other gays got there. and the party had started.

The first drinks I made for Jason and I were a couple of heavy long islands. I have learned that the key to not spending money when going out is to do a little pre-drinking prior to the bars. So we did. When we were sitting outside, someone brought out a bottle of Jagermeister and a plate full of meatballs. Needless to say, the plate and bottle were both polished off in a matter of minutes...We walked down to the bars shortly after and kinda just hopped around the whole time, until finally the night had ended.

I worked Saturday Morning from 8-1, and then headed out to Downtown to go gymming with Jason before heading to the gayborhood. Jefferson was having a BBQ at his place so I picked up Allison and the three of us met up with everyone around 7:30 for burgers and kahlua! mmmmm...After the BBQ we went to the Abbey and other places of non-descript value, did our thing, and then took off around 2. We drove back to Jason's and hung out there for a bit before I took off around 4am.

Sunday was where everything gets a little crazy. Jefferson was having brunch at his place starting at 10am. I stopped by Ralphs grabbed some fruit and stuff and then headed over. Everyone their kinda looked/smelt of death reincarnate, but it was ok, its was PRIDE!! Haha The food was fantastic! Krispy Cremes, 151 Rum Cake, Pastries fruit, lumpia...Ahhhh, so good!!

Noon rolled around, Jason showed up, and we decided to head down to see the parade. It was nothing short of amazingly gay. Haha Shirtless dancing men everywhere! Because, well, that's just kinda what the gays do...Dance...Shirtless...

We did the usual little barhop, where we met up with Jung, Gi, and Wataru, and then headed to the festival. I had never actually been to the festival, and I was kinda impressed. I am not sure if I would have been able to spend the entire day there, but the few hours that we were there would suffice! After the festival Jung got an invite from a friend to go to Roland Emmerich's Pride party! Ummm, exciting! Haha. We parked Elliott's car, got into the shuttles and headed up the hill. The place was nuts. Huge house, beautiful pool and close to a billion gays everywhere.

It was pretty wicked! At one point of the night, Elliott decided to sit in a bush. It was an ass-high squared off shrub that apparently Elliott thought was, as Jason put it, a nature chair. We stayed there for a few hours, and then left. Jason went in his friends' car, and I was waiting for Elliott and Gi to get out of the bathroom so we could go pick Jason up. Elliott got out of the bathroom and we immediately went back to the shuttle and then pick Jason up...Hmmmmmm, whats missing here? Uh-Oh, Where's Gi?? Yeah, we did...we left Gi at Roland Emmerich's house, needless to say, he was not that thrilled. This is the kind of shit that happens in the movies. Wataru had left a bit earlier and I was under the impression that Gi went with him...Ooops, not quite the case...Luckily enough for Gi, our buddy John Han was there to save the day, and drove him back to WeHo. We picked up Jason and then called it a night around 1:30.

I said a few times this week that I was not going to be able to one-up my pride from last year, so I was not going to even try, but I think I did a pretty good job. I had such a great weekend, didn't spend a lot of money, and got to spend it with some pretty cool people! I am really amazed by the friends that I have made over the last few months!!

That is all!

Whoa, two in two days?

2009-05-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

No nothing tragically painful or embarrassing has happened to me in the past twenty four hours, so if thats what you're here for, I thought I'd toss out the disclaimer.

To my last two remaining reader who is not here in a Sadists Fashion, I got good news yesterday. My Sister-in-law, Dearest Allyson, found out a couple weeks back that she was preggers. Sweet! Well they found out yesterday that the one little heartbeat is actually two. Double Sweet! Now, I really do not care for children, at all, but thats because of two reasons. 1. They are not mine, and B. I've never been able to use them as a weapon. >:-) I cannot wait for their first day with "Weird Gay Uncle Brandon," or as Kyle calls it DubGUB. One Baby = Chick/Dude Magnet, Twins = Oh My Goodness. I'm gonna get them sugared up and drop them off shortly before they start bouncing off the walls... "But we don't want anymore pixie stix, Weird Gay Uncle Brandon..." "If you don't eat the Pixie Stix, the Goblins under your bed will get you at night!"

Oh, I'm gonna be the best uncle ever! hahaha

Other than all that Breeder baby-makin' non-sense, I spoke to my boss yesterday. It had been a while since we had spoken and a little mini-rift had definitely formed between us. I felt it necessary for is to be on the same page. And now we are and all it took was a 3 minute phone call, and it feels oh so wonderful. Well, thats all I have for now. I don't until 5PM tonight for a few hours, so another day of boredom is about to commence in 3...2...1...

About damn time...

2009-05-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

So It has been awhile, and I have had requests from numerous people, well, 2 of my three total readers, when am I going to post again, and that got me to thinking. The premise of this blog was to provide an outlet for me to more or less, bitch and moan about things that are out of my control, for example, shin contusions, angry violent elder Jewish Women and their continued assault on my ankles, constant letdown of day to day life etc... Well, to be honest, there has not been much of that going on. Both my jobs are as solid as one could imagine in this economy, and my social life is developing at a nice pace.

One of my largest concerns when I moved up here, was what if Jeff and I broke up? The only people that I would know are John, who now almost exclusively lives in Manchester, Nareth, who lives seemingly equally far away in Long Beach and Tim, who is always doing his own thing. I am a very friend-oriented person and love the company of others even if it is to do something as simple as watching TV or eating some grub. I love the potential of social interaction! I am a social whore! I have met so many wonderful people here over the last six months and could not be happier. I now live with Nareth and Allison, and from Jun, David, Chester and the rest of the girls to, Mayor Phil and his loyal constituents to my lovely valentine's day "Date" Francis and his wonderful Jason, I feel like my days are full of fun loving happy people who just get me. Or at least try to. I'm not easy to understand, but it says a lot when people make a conscious effort to get to know you.

The last week or so has been incredible. I feel that my work performance is top notch, my social life is fantastic and the love life, although not existent is just that. Non-Existent. Its not a burdensome thing looming over me like it had been for the last 5 months or so. Yeah, there are a few people that I am fond of, there always is, but I'm done making the first move. I simply don't feel the need or pressure to act on feelings. Plus I have decided that I really want to get to know someone well before I progress. So yeah, enough of the sobby, sappy crap, lets talk about me getting injured, something that over the past six month you have all showed some interest in...assholes.

I drove home the other night after dinner at Francis and Jason's, parked my car got out, stood up and racked my skull off of a low hanging pipe so hard, that there was a definitive crunching sound, coupled with a bright flash of light and an instantaneous feeling of nausea. The last time I hit my head this hard is when I suffered my first concussion, about 10 years ago...I was vacuuming...Yes, Vacuuming... I was telling Jason on Sunday when we went to the gym how I manage to hurt myself in the most ridiculous ways, ie, Semitic Ankle Ramage, Car Door Shin Contusions, drunk flag football(don't ever call out someone 3" taller and 100 pounds heavier, You will shatter your right hand, every time!), Vacuuming, riding your bike in the grass and even playing on an innocent air filled water bed mattress...ohhh, the good old days.
I never manage to hurt myself when in really compromising positions like drunk bicycling, drunken fence hurdling, skydiving etc. I am that guy.

I did have a very "Pay it Forward" kinda moment the other day. I went to the bank, and held the door for this lady, she was very sweet and was walking ahead of me to get in line. A woman cut right in between myself and the woman i held the door for. The woman I held the door for, looked at me, I was probably scowling and cursing the hag that cut me off, but she smiled and said, "Here sweetie, take my spot in line." The hag that cut me off was furious and started saying "That's not Fair!" and "You Cannot Do That!" My door lady looked her in the eye, and said, "Can you Please be Quiet, I don't have time to listen to your petty issues." I almost fell down laughing. I did my business and got out before this turned into a full-blown cat-fight. So the pay it forward part came later when an older gentleman was backing out of his parking stall at the now infamous "Assault on my Ankles" Walgreen's. I stopped and let him go. Oooops, how was i supposed to know he was going to back into the car across the way? So I turned a blind eye put my car in reverse and pretended to not have noticed anything...and not speak English.

All in all, life is going well right now. I will post a bit more often now, hopefully regarding happy things and cheerful uplifting snippets, but we'll see what happens! haha

Have a lovely week everyone, I will talk at you soon.

New Ambitions...

2009-04-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

So I have been doing a lot of thinking recently and it took me back to a conversation that I had with David and Richard on a trek to Costco on New Years Eve day. The conversation pertained to what our dream jobs were. I think I said that my dream job was to be a general manager of a Major League Baseball team. My reasons were simple. Its fun, I love baseball, I love people and I enjoy a taste of control. Well, I have been thinking about that conversation recently and have reassessed what I am currently doing. I love working in spas for all the right reasons. Plus there are no two better companies to work for than SBE/Starwood and Marcus/Harry. I do want to expand my horizons a bit, and have started looking into promotions. I would love to start a promotions company. I have recently been looking around and reading up on successful club promotion companies, their roots and their revenue patterns. I am looking into getting a group of four or five "partners" together to start brainstorming this little venture.

Instead of a normal promotions company, I want to create an entity that focuses on giving back to the community. A solid event can rake $5,000-$10,000 a night. I am all about making a ton of money, but if I can organize events where people have a good time and can kick a couple grand to charity every week, i would be thrilled. I have a couple friends, Darrell and Francis who have expressed interest and are both currently involved in non-profits, and now i feel like i need to recruit someone who has some experience in promotions as a "advisor." I really think that this could be something that really takes off. With the right marketing and publicity I think that this venture could be really successful and beneficial to the community. If you have any promotions experience or simply know that you can recruit a ton of people i wanna hear from you!

Other than that, I have been doing just a lot of packing and unpacking. I still do not have a fridge yet, but am working on that. I love having my own room, but do miss some of the luxuries of the fully furnished place that I left. Everything here is good, business is great at the Envy and is really picking up at SLS. I am at an awesome place in life right now, stressful, but awesome. I finally feel like i have found a nice balance of work and play. Sorry I don't have more dismal news for y'all, but thats about it!

Those Damn socialist Liberals...

2009-04-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

I'm getting tired of these right wing e-mail campaigns condemning the so-called "democrats march to socialism". Do me a favor, for all of you who are forwarding these e-mails take a little bit of time and do some research as I am doing for this post.

Step 1: Look up Joseph McCarthy and his book, "McCarthyism: The fight for America." Sen. McCarthy was routinely accused of attempting to discredit his critics and political opponents by accusing them of being Communists or communist sympathizers. In the 1950 Maryland Senate election, McCarthy campaigned for John Marshall Butler in his race against four-term incumbent Millard Tydings. In speeches supporting Butler, McCarthy accused Tydings of "protecting Communists" and "shielding traitors." McCarthy's staff was heavily involved in the campaign, and collaborated in the production of a slander-laced campaign tabloid that contained a composite photograph doctored to make it appear that Tydings was in intimate conversation with Communist leader Earl Russell Browder. A Senate subcommittee later investigated this election and referred to it as "a despicable, back-street type of campaign," as well as recommending that the use of defamatory literature in a campaign be made grounds for expulsion from the Senate.

McCarthy did not stop there. President Harry S. Truman, who needless to say, did not quite get along with McCarthy referred to him once as "The Best Asset the Kremlin Has", because of the dividing and destructive nature of McCarthy's "witch-hunt." McCarthy essentially ran around pointing at anyone in his way and screaming communist. He single-handedly instilled such fear into the American people that it indirectly resulted in the start of "Military Intervention" in this small civily-sparring nation on the western Pacific seaboard called Vietnam. McCarthy pointed out that if communism took hold in Vietnam, then the rest of the Asian Nations would fall like dominoes followed by the rest of the world...America marched in to "save" the world from communism and promptly got their asses handed to them by a more determined people defending their way of life from these "round-eye" invaders. Communism was now a global concern. So we managed to get embarrassed and lost a half million young men and women in this effort to stop something we knew nothing about. After we left Communism did spread...and nothing ever really came of it. Hmmmm, kinda anti-climactic...

McCarthy even launched an investigation into the Army Signal Corp. Really? Idiot...It took McCarthy Just over 4 years to get his ass booted. On December 2nd, 1954, the Senate voted 67-22 to censure McCarthy and condemn all his actions due to the fact that he: "failed to cooperate with the Subcommittee on Rules and Administration," and "repeatedly abused the members who were trying to carry out assigned duties..." In addition: " the special Senate session...was a 'lynch party,'" and had characterized the committee "as the 'unwitting handmaiden,' 'involuntary agent' and 'attorneys in fact' of the Communist Party," and had "acted contrary to senatorial ethics and tended to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute, to obstruct the constitutional processes of the Senate, and to impair its dignity."

Now while these e-mails that are cycling are not exactly disgraced Senators from Wisconsin, they are in the same line, and the same belief as McCarthyism...Conservatives...You had your chance, and you blew it. The country is on the border of financial ruin because your fateful leader decided to do nothing about what was inevitably coming over the last 20 years. Get over yourselves. Its your turn to get on board or get the hell out. The same thing that you told the liberals after Bush stole his second election. If you don't like it, leave...Well, if you are not getting on board, then get the hell out! You make it sound like the Democrats are wronging so many people. Well, they are not. There is a reason that we control congress and the Presidential Seat, because you blew it. On November 4th, my vote for Obama was worth the same value as your vote for McCain. America's voice has been heard.

Here is my little motto of the day:

"Its really easy to point fingers without looking at your own flaws and inaction."

I know that my thoughts jump all over the place and there is a really thin timeline associated with this blog, but just bear with me, I was/am a little upset and am not concerned with structure or syntax...

Endorsed by the wonderful me...

2009-03-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Darrell wanted me to see if I can grant some exposure to his non-profit...Normally I would not succumb to the pressure of these damn non-profits, but...I'm kidding I love non-profits! In fact, I consider myself a non-profit. I have asked for donations many a time...

Anyways this one is really cool. I am sure that a lot of you have heard of Liberty Hill. Well they are doing a charity fundraiser raffle for a brand spanking new 2010 Honda Insight! Tickets are $100 a piece which might seem like a lot, but look at it this way...if you work an extra shift...Boom theres a hundred bucks! Sell your old bike/treadmill/little brother that you never ride/run-on/liked on E-bay...Boom, theres a hundred bucks. Sell your left(or right) kidney on the black market...Boom, theres a...well actually at the going rate for kidney's you could probably just buy an Insight...But thats not the point. Charity is fun. Trust me. Because I said so...

Here is the link to the donation page. Check it out. Even if you do not have the funds to donate maybe your friends do. If you have a blog pass it on! You can buy as many tickets as you want to, and if you purchse four you get a fifth one free!

http://libertyhill.typepad.com/main/2009/03/a-hybrid-for-100.html

Thanks all and have a lovely day!

Why AT&T Blows...

2009-03-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

I HATE AT&T. I logged on to pay my bill yesterday on my off day. My bill is typically $85 or so dollars a month. My bill was $451.84. I was a bit shocked. So I called their customer service and sat on hold for 45 minutes only to find that someone, not me, authorizes $365 worth of roaming charges in Europe. They said that sometimes in fraud situations, cell phone #'s can be cloned...WTF? Cloning cell phone numbers has not been an issue since the turn of the millenium...

The Good News: I am having all of the charges removed and a $25 convenience credit placed on my account.

The Bad News: My phone may not be active until Tomorrow, Thursday, at 6am...Goddamn AT&T...

If anyone needs to get ahold of me, feel free to facebook me! haha...Crap...

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Are there any preventative measures?

Why we need help...

2009-03-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

I'm a Star

2009-03-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

Watch the video and see if you can see my forehead! haha

http://www.myfoxla.com/dpp/entertainment/lisas_la/Lisa_LA_Ciel_Spa_20090312

The Last Week or so...

2009-03-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I finally got my new laptop set-up and ready to go. I am in the midst of transferring all of my pics and videos from Brett's Laptop over to mine. He is a life-saver. I was a little worried for a second there that I had lost all my pics from London and China. Needless to say it would have been devastating.

Move-in day is fast approaching. We get the keys and do the lease thing on Friday. We are excited, its going to be a good thing. Definitely a step in the right direction.

I have been really busy recently between, "The Envy," SLS and Business with Sephora for Topper, but busy is good right? I am very thankful that I am still gainfully employed in two hospitality industry jobs. Realistically, I am defying the odds. Generally in a time of recession, people tend to cut out the excess, like $300.00 facials and $800 spa packages...but for some reason, the wonderful "upper-crust" of West Los Angeles still finds it necessary!

Two Sundays ago was the first Sunday that I had off in a long time so I decided to go see Topper and hang out there for a bit. Then I got the itch to go do something. So i texted David and Nareth and we organized a golf outting! I have not swung my clubs in about 6 months. It was okay though, Nareth, Kevin,David, Richard and their friend Tom have swung a golf club a combined 0 times. This was going to be fun!! Hahaha I was definitely cringing every time they swung the club. Not because of the lack of mechanics, bu because I was fearfull of snapping hosels and flying clubheads and the like. It was a blast though. I took some sweet action shots and am going to post those shortly on Facebook. It was good to get out and hit some balls. Like I said I had not done that in a long time.

I somehow managed to wiggle my way out of work this last Sunday also...Two Sundays in a row! wow! David managed to get a Luxury Box from one of his reps for the Lakers/Mavericks game. It was AWESOME!!! It was David, Richard, Ellis, Ron and myself. First Lakers game I have ever seen. If the tickets were more affordable, I would make it a regular outting! I love my Lakers.

We went to this awesome little place called WurstKuche after wards for some sausages and beer. Its on the corner of Tracton and 3rd on the border of Little Tokyo, The Toy District and the Fashion District. They had some fantastically interesting sausages including mixtures of ostrich, bison, rabbit, deer, rattlesnake and rabbit. Plus the beer selection was reminiscent of a Minerature Stone Brewery. Lots of really good Belgians including Delirium Nocturnum and Tremes. Also, Houblon Chouffe, which I have not seen forever and your standard Chimays...It was an awesome little place and a lovely cap the a great day.

Last night was "Love a Mick" night at the Abbey, or more commonly, and less offensively known as St. Patricks Day. So what does the Abbey do?? They book a bunch of "Little People" and dress them as leprechauns. David and I met everyone at Phil and RD's and got our "Discount Drunk" on. We then headed down the hill where the headlining entertainment was this woman named "Little Britney." She was a dwarf, who resembled Britney. She was crass, could not sing worth a lick and kept calling us bitches...but imagine for a second a 3'2" blond woman, stripping down dancing on tables and serenading 6' tall gay men...and what song was she singing? Circus...Ohhh, how befitting...Circus...

The last week of two have been busy but fun! I will not wait this long between posts anymore simply because I struggle to remember everything that happens...Hope you all have a lovely day and that the hangovers are not too bad!

B

I love crabs

2009-03-15T11:17:00.001-07:00

Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

Hello Party People

2009-03-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

So this is the first post that I have made since the beginning of March. My laptop of almost 5 years decided to crap out on me. I just got my new one a few hours ago and am loving it...So back to blogging...

Here are a couple of updates...

My beloved A-hole, Rettles and I are getting a place on Bedford Drive just south of Airdrome. Its a fantastic little 3 bedroom place with a nice view and plenty of space for us to all do whatever it is that we do. The important part about this, that is, the part that affects all of my minions(you) is the housewarming party. I'm thinking delicious pastries ala J's B-day and a massage therapist on staff doing chair massage. Ohhhh, and of course, lots of drinks. :-) its in the plans, but I guess first we need to make sure that we get the place.

Work has been intense. I am on a nice schedule of around 7-8 hours a day. I am working 7 days a week, but am strangely not getting burnt out. Both jobs are a nice change of pace from one another. I work 4 days at SLS Hotel and then 3 days at "The Envy."

As far as a social/love life goes...I have resigned to the fact that I am just meant to be single until further notice. I have lost the drive to pursue things, and will just live my life with myself being priority number one instead of someone else. A-Hole and I have both been going out a lot recently, which is usually a ton of fun. Neither of us have been drinking too much when going out. As David says, "Ballers on a Budget." I have met a lot of super people recently and feel like i have made some lovely new friends.

I will post more later, but for now, back to playing with my new toy...my laptop perverts.

B

Dude, Where's my Street

2009-02-28T20:59:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to J and Eric's for J's B-day. It was lovely to see everyone smiling and happy. I on the other hand was irratable and dissatisfied with my current situation. I was not drinking and had been dry for a couple days. Every time David yelled "Shots!" I salivated and then quickly got pissed off. I was parched and all I could drink was fruit Juice. So I found another, non-blood-thinning vice which will not be named, and began enjoying myself.

Midnight rolled around and everyone was pretty tuckered out. RD and Phil were taking off and it seemed like a good time for Uly and I to hit the road also. I walked Phil and RD out said goodnight, and then walked to my car. What happened after that was a mystery... I have never been so out of it. I was in some kinda zone. Keep in mind, I was stone cold sober. I have never had my mind so far detached from my body before...Below i a basic map with two routes marked. One is the way I took to J and Eric's and the other was the route I took home. I will let you figure out which is which. At one point on the way home. I text RD to say I was lost. I was less than a mile from my house and was so disoriented that it was mildly humorous...And now the map:

This is the kind of disorientation that I experience when NOT under the influence of booze...Sigh...

The Emperor's...errr...the Kings New Clothes"

2009-02-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

King Ron, the Exalted, God Appointed, Divine Law Ruler of the Men's Locker Room of the 24 Hour fitness was clothed when I came in yesterday. Now I know what some of you are thinking, "Why are you still hooked on Ron?" or "Clothed? What? How?". To answer the first question, my life consists of work, boredom and Ron. Which one would you write about? Now onto the second question, I'm not really sure how he got into clothes. I don't mean that it is far-fetched that the man was clothed, I mean, how in the hell did he get into those pants? Not too many people can sport what appear to be opalescent white Alligator Leather pants. Ron can do whatever he wants though, he's the King...Oh, how I long to be his Queen.

I have been a bit stressed recently, some personal issues and some not so personal issues. I have not had a day off since February 9th and it is starting to take its toll. I am getting tired and just want a Brandon day where I can ignore everything else that's going on in my disheveled existence and relax, maybe play a video game or watch a movie. I am not burnt out due to all this work, I am only doing 7 and 8 hour days. Its not like I am working 90 hours a week. Also, it helps that I really do love both of my jobs and my coworkers. Unfortunately I do not have a day to myself until March 5th. I can at least count down to it though right?

This morning before work I decided to treat myself to a delicious Venti non-fat, unsweetened Starbucks Double shot on Ice. Five heavenly shots of espresso, a splash of skim milk all poured over ice...orgasmic. The guy in line behind me was this HUGE bald white guy. After I ordered I went and sat down and started staring at him. He was wearing a wife-beater and a sleeveless khaki shirt. He looked like some Aryan Nation blowhard that you can find in Fallbrook. But I decided not to judge. Then when they called his name, Penrose, I knew it...I knew his life story, it goes something like this:

Penrose was born in suburban Tuscaloosa, Alabama to his parents Clyde and Mona. He was one of 16 children "thriving" in a 2 bedroom shanty. Every morning, he and his pediatric army of soldiers marched to school in Tuscaloosa where, Penrose was teased and taunted because of his name...and the stupid look that he carried on his face from dusk til dawn. Penrose developed a deep-seeded hatred for those around him, and found his only friend to be a Willow tree in his front yard that he affectionately named Madge, short for...ummm...Madgey. Now, Penrose, is a racist, gun-toting bigot who talks to Willow trees in La Cienega park and wears horrendous clothing. Pictures to follow...The End

I am obviously suffering from severe boredom and would like to be saved from banality at this point...any suggestions?

Hi-tech, low tech Brandon

2009-02-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

So as I mentioned before, my laptop is on the fritz, and I can safely say that it was working just fine until I ran a boot time scan with Avast Antivirus software. I asked their tech support for help and they told me that I need to run a windows reinstall on my laptop. This means that all of it music, 6000+ songs are gone, and more importantly all of my pics, pics with my grandpa in Hawaii, pics from NYE in London last year and my pics from the olympics might be gone... Wiped clean because their product removed something in my windows startup sequence...thanks guy I really apreciate your help...

On a morbid and gruesome note, I saw a car accident on the way home from the gym. It was one of those accidents that kick the spinning earth off it's own axis. A 5000Lb range rover t-boned a 7500Lb late 90's model suburban. The gruesome part was the 36" diameter hole in the front windshield of the range rover...tsk tsk, now where are your seatbelts mr. Range rover...I guess that smear of a person womb make the same mistake again. I just don't understand why you don't wear your seatbelts...there are so many fun things in life that can kill you, why leave it up to something as trivial as buckling your friggin' seatbelt.

That's all I want to type now, seeing as I am blogging off of my iPhone. And my hands are beginning to cramp up. :-)

I hope all is well with everyone! Take care and buckle up! Oh and if anyone know anyone with an extra laptop, I need it for work stuff and internet. I'll buy it!!! Thanks!

Ron part 2 and my "Real" Silver Lake Experience...

2009-02-18T09:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to the gym and actually me Ron officially for the first time. He probably felt it necessary to at least know the name of the guy who stared in awwwe and the giant Sequoia growing between his legs. I introduced my self, shook his hand and that was it. He was wearing his underwear at this point, which was kinda refreshing because I really did not feel comfortable getting up and close with King Ron's "Cap'n Ron." I had a good work out, did some cardio, kept the heart rate fairly moderate. No more 193 beats per minute for me now. Even in full exertion it only gets up around 170. So yeah, enough of the boring stuff...

Sunday night, I volunteered to cover for A-hole because she was down for the count with Strep. So after having been at SLS since 10AM, I went to the envy to help Marsa close. Harry and Shawn started harassing me to meet them at "El Conquistador" in Silver Lake for a margarita...So I did. I got there around 10PM, and they were both blotto! I had a delicious little quesadillia and an even more delicious not so little margarita. I had not eaten since a 3:30 lunch at the SLS cafeteria, so I figured food might be a good idea at this point. After I chowed down, "The Hobbits" and myself walked over to this, and I quote, "Awesome, little bar. You're going to be fresh meat, they are going to love you." Harry's statement should have made me yawn, proclaim exhaustion and leave, but I am apparently a stupid, stupid boy. We went to The Eagle, which I will now refer to as "The Vulture," dissect it however you'd like, and grabbed a pint or two of Bud Light. Harry handed me my beer, and said bottoms up! So I chugged my pint. He did not. In what world does bottoms up not mean to chug your 20oz pint. Anyways, ordered another pint and nursed this one. We were just sitting around making fun of people when I got up to use the bathroom.

Now, I find a certain type of person attractive...generally they need to be good looking, over 5 feet tall, not a metric ton, and have all four major appendages(although the last one is not always necessary). There were one or two attractive people in the bar, and as I was waiting in line for the bathroom, a tall, handsome, blond "Surfer Guy" approached me and stood next to me. Here is the dialogue:

Douche: You in line?
Me: Yeah
Douche: You heading in there?(meaning the bathroom)
Me: Uhhhh, yeah, this is the bathroom line isn't it?
Douche: You want some company?
Me: No Thanks.
Douche: You want me to go in with you?
Me: I said No...
Douche: I can make it worth your time...(As he winks at me, yes winks)
Me: What part of NO don't you understand, fucking ass-clown!
Douche: Dude, Its OK, I was just asking if you wanted to hang out in there.
Me: Hang out in the Bathroom? Who the shit hangs out in the bathroom. Stop talking to me, you're giving me a migraine.

So he got out of line and went back to sit down at the bar. I was not trying to be mean, I just don't know how to handle stupid people and get flusterred and verbally abusive. I'm sure he was telling his buddy what a prick I was, but, I guess I was just not ready to get propositioned at a leather bar, no matter how good looking the guy was. I still have a shred of dignity left, and I am going to try and hang onto it!

After The Vulture, Shawn wanted to venture down to another "Fine Establishment," El BarCito...Or as Harold referred to it, Little Tijuana. We got frisked by an armed security guard when we went in, and pretty much got frisked by all the bar patrons the rest of the night. When I saw the armed security guards, my first thought was, ohhhh, it is just like Tijuana! There was some cross-dresser on stage singing what seemed to be Mexican Showtunes in a really out of pitch voice. Not to mention his/her dress was a touch too tight in the front crotchular region. I'm not critical of cross-dressers, transgenders, etc, in fact I have all the respect in the world for them. They are the last portion of the American population to shunned in almost every walk of life. It takes some guts to be who you believe you are. HOWEVER, I was being visually raped by his/her frontal appendage, and it was time to go.

It was quite the interesting evening. I had been to MJ's in Silver Lake before, but now I think I truly have an understanding of what this sleepy little town is all about...Large Men, Leather, Bud Light and Touchy-Feely Latinos...Hmmmm, stinks a lot like a gay Escondido if you ask me...

Ron's Junk

2009-02-16T17:28:00.001-08:00

I have named this blog after someone whom I really do not know all that well. Ron is a member at my gym. When I get there between 7-8AM Ron is walking around the men's locker room naked. When I leave, between 9-10AM, Ron is still naked. He is the self proclaimed, "King of the locker room. He is that guy who knows everybodys name and feels it is necessary to speak to everyone when they come in and out of the locker room. Normally, this is just a nuisance, but what gets me about Ron, is there is something different about him, and I am pretty sure that I know exactly what it is. Now, I am well aware that I am a gay male and as a gay male, the first thing my eyes drift to when confronted with a naked man is in the "Groinular" region. A simple, innocent compare and contrastm, and I also know that whether they will admit it or not, most straight men are prone to the exact same thing. Now I'm not going to "Innuendo" this like I normally do, so if you a skiddish around abnormally MASSIVE bodyparts, skip down two paragraphs. Ron is endowed. I'm not talking about 9" endowed, I'm talking like, the poor soul has never had sex because he is so endowed. There is not a woman in the world who could handle it. If I had one 12" ruler, I would have been out of luck. This thing requires at least 2. I'm thinking in the neighborhood of 14-16". I simply cannot fathom the logistics of it. There is no way in hell...

So, anyways, Ron seems to know a lot about everyone in the locker room. "Hey Steve how's the Wife? Did you see the Dodgers missed out on Manny" As the usual banter goes...But today it was strange. There was this tall lean shirtless asian guy named Peter in the locker room. No, i was not staring, he did not strike me as being even remotely attractive, so lets not even start with all the "rice queen" remarks, A-holes...Ron, looked at Peter and said, "Peter, lookin good man! Your gettin pretty big, eh?" and Peter responded with, "Well Josh and I broke up, so I am back on the prowl. Ha-ha" I don't know if I was more shocked that Peter was in a locker room full of guys announcing his orientation or that Ron, who really is the King of the men's locker room, is just chatting people up and giving hand shakes while his elephantitic appendage swings to and fro like a wrecking ball in motion...

I think thats all I need to say about Ron...

I had a wonderful Valentine's day, other than working from 9am-9pm. In typical Brandon fashion, I took my friend Francis to Koo-Koo-Roo...Red Lobster was booked...Haha. I had origianally planned on taking him to this nice Italian place called Benvenuto on Santa Monica and La Cienega. And when we got there it was closed...out of business apparently. Option #2 was the Courtyard across the street...Which had a large "For Lease" sign posted out front...WTF? So, again, in classic Brandon fashion, when Francis said, "Do you wanna just eat at Koo-Koo-Roo?" I emphatically said "Yes, yes I do."

I got a kick out of eating at Koo-Koo-Roo because of a bit of an inside story, that Francis was not aware of. I have an insatiable appetite for cheap restaurants and over processed food. For my birthday last year, Jefferson asked where I wanted to go to dinner. He asked sarcastically if I had any interest in Sizzler. I got giddy like a school girl! Then 18 days later for his birthday, I took him to Red Lobster in the valley. I got such a kick out of Koo-Koo-Roo on valentine's day that it really did not matter what I ordered, or what happened the rest of the night.

Francis and I went to the Abbey afterwards and met up with the rest of the gays for an after dinner beverage. Good times were had by all. I met a couple other people who apparently I had met before but had no recollection, lo siento.

Work at SLS started and is starting to get intense. The amount of work and effort that goes into every guest is incredible. They are waited on hand and foot. Of course if I were paying $500.00 for a facial and a massage I would expect some munchies and other luxuries. But wow, I am on my feet all day. Time flies though when you are having fun!

Other than a couple little non-blog worthy health issues, everything has been going pretty swell. Still trying to gain back that weight that escaped me over the last few weeks of illness, ughh...I got down to 185#, then dropped to 175# when I got sick and am now at 178#. 7 more Lbs. to go!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day and President's Day Weekend.

The last couple days...

2009-02-08T12:50:00.001-08:00

I have been sick. Not sick in the head or gross like I am sure many of you already assume but, better put, I have been ill. I have been coughing up things that look remotely like something you would pull out of a clogged sink...How did that get there? Hmm... Yesterday, I was at work from 1-9pm and was hurting pretty badly. By 2PM, I was sitting in the bathroom crying from the pain. I was so achy and sore that I was getting the shakes. I needed to do something, and fast. So I got a massage! haha I booked an hour with one of our newer therapists, Sean Elias and within an hour, I felt like a million bucks. My throat still hurt, but the aches and chills were completely gone. I am not at all a massage skeptic, in fact i absolutely believe that it should be part of everyone's health care plan. But this was such a pleasant surprise. I cannot even explain the difference from before and after, it was incredible! I highly recommend her.

Friday night, we went out to Rage for their 6 year anniversary. It was an open bar from 9:30-10:30! As soon as the clock struck 9:30, David had five shots of vodka ready to go. Now as I am sure some of you know, I am a vodka connoisseur, I love vodka on the rocks. but this vodka shot was poured into a 5 ounce rocks glass...REALLY?? uggh, so we all took are shots and were ready to go. It was a fun night, a couple more drinks, some dancing and lots of walking in order to sober up our driver.

Last night, I took out one of my co-workers who was in town for just a few days. He had never been out in LA during his couple of quick visits. I think he had a good time, we grabbed a drink at East West and then walked to RD and Phil's to meet up with Rettles, Frang, RD and Phil. It was Abbey time. My friend had never been to the Abbey, so he was in for a treat. We went to Java Detour for a pit stop and then headed over to the Abbey where we met up with David and Richard. Fun times, Nothing too dramatic occured, sorry. Got to bed at around one and woke up this AM at about 9.

I am in San Diego now and looking forward to a couple days away from LA. Hopefully some clothes shopping with Mommy tomorrow, and dinner with the friends down here. I did discover something fascinating on my way down...I'm all hoarse due to whatever is making me sick, and I have found that I can sing along to "The World I Know" by Collective Soul almost in perfect pitch! Oooh, gotta go, my Breakfast Burrito is here!

Something new...

2009-02-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

I decided since my life has been a bit lackluster of late, I was going to find something to consistently post about that is entertaining for the masses(my 3 readers). So I thought, what better to do than to essentially point and laugh, albeit through the Internet, at OTHER peoples misfortunes, and not my own...

I have decided to post disturbing, yet funny videos and content found throughout the web...Now if I use a video of yours and you do not want me too, don't threaten to sue...just ask me to take it down, and I might comply.

I posted a term yesterday in my blog about "Penis Clams" that most of you are probably not familiar with, and if you are, then you are either a loser or a tree...or a Dermatologist. The term was Epidermodysplasia verruciformis. Basically, you contract HPV, and you turn into a tree. No Joke, watch the video below. Its Trippy.

I hope you enjoyed your first dose of the less fortunate...Tomorrow, Tape Worms!

Cheers, B

The most disgusting things ever...

2009-02-03T14:28:00.001-08:00

Ok so evolution has played some really cruel jokes on anamalia over time, The Dodo(Flightless idiot), the Surinam Toad(Look it up on Youtube) and Epidermodysplasia verruciformis(Half man half tree) just to name a few. But today I was exposed to something so commically sad, that I had to post it. I love seafood. Correction I loved seafood. I loved shellfish, oysters, clams and the like. However, after being exposed to the Geoduck, pronounced gooey-duck, I have had to rethink my tastes for seafood and certain external male reproductive organs. It is a large clam with an uncircumcised male appendage-like...appendage protruding from it...Just see for yourself...

Apparently they are best served in Clam Chowder...Enjoy...

Funny Stuff...

2009-02-02T09:46:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was Superbowl Sunday, and was supposed to be a day of relaxation and fun. Not that it wasn't, but it just started off and ended very atypically...Let me preempt my Sunday with a tale of a phone call I got late Saturday night...

Allison, Kristen and I went to Norms for some late night grub and I got a phonecall from the little brother Adam. His calls are usually just random questions. This time was different. He had gone to Chico with his friend Tyler and was now on his way home. Tyler decided that he was going to stay the night, which Adam did not want to do. Tyler told Adam to drive his truck down and that he would just take a flight the next day. Adam begrudgingly said OK. So Adam left at god knows what time and headed south. He made it all the way to Stockton before falling asleep behind the wheel, rear-ending someone and careening off the road and down a ravine. Funny right? Well, he was not hurt, so it is ok to laugh...This is where it gets legitimately comic though.

After the tow truck gets Tyler's truck back on the road and charges Adam $143.00, he starts heading south again. He pulled off and grabbed a couple red-bulls before continuing. He was wide awake the rest of the way, problem was, it was now about 3AM, and his fuel tank was on empty. All the money that he had had been given to the tow truck driver. Adam, emptied out the change pocket, found some Visa giftcards and even borrowed money from presumably a homeless person(they are the only one's out at 3AM in Central California). Now if you ask my opinion, which you are, or else you would not be reading this, Adam is a survivor. Forget Bear Grilles or whatever his name is, Adam is offering a clinic on how to Survive in Butt-F*** Egypt...Impressive...With his new found wealth he got enough gas to get home. If the story ended here, I would have thought, wow, what a crazy night...But, in typical Watson fashion, there were more antics to come...

Adam had gotten all the way through the grapevine and was on the 210 about 10 miles from his house when a small early Nineties Ford Tempo changed into his lane, Adam swerved in Tyler's already abused vehicle and hit a wall at 55MPH. Funny right?? Haha

Obviously he was again OK. This time Tyler's truck was not though. Soooooooo, Long story short, My Mom called me this morning and asked if I wanted to meet them for lunch and that they had just picked him up in La Crescenta. So I got to spend some time with the parents which was nice. My Dad had never been up to see me before, so it was fun! We went to Norms, where I order the "Loaded Hashbrowns" for the second time in 10 hours...Not advisable! Anyways...

Finally, the humorous part. Tyler is a butt hole for leaving my little brother with no choice but to drive home by himself. Tyler was intending to take a flight home today. I say intending because he will not be on that flight. Tyler's Drivers license is in the glove box of his trunk at a towing yard in North LA. Have fun in Chico!

On a more entertaining note...

I love him:

Grounded

2009-01-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

So I was hanging out at my place last night, just chatting with friends. David asked, "Are you going out tonight?" My response was "No, I'm grounding myself..."

So that is exactly what I did. For the first time since god knows, when, perhaps since China in August...I did not go out at all on Friday. I was under house-arrest.

Needless to say I got bored of sitting on the couch after about 10 minutes and watched American History X, one of my top 5 movies of all time, and Slumdog Millionaire, a new entrant to my Top 5 list. Its not that I didn't understand all of the hooplah about Slumdog, I just wasn't sure if it was warranted. And now I am. I was so impressed with almost every aspect of the film, from the acting of the child stars to the emotion, both developed and in some scenes non-existent. I was hooked. Also, Two things, if you have not seen American History X; A.What the hell is wrong with you? and B. You definitely should!

I did not get much sleep last night which was the hole reason that I stayed home, but you know, sometimes sleep is trumped by...Other Things...Tonight was going to be night two of my incarceration, but Connor, one of my coworkers,is having a "Shin-Dig" at his pad, and I have urges that need to be satisifed...and lets be realistic, my ability to refrain from sins of the aluminum can, is pretty week. I am salivating just thinking about ice cold bud light...Oh god I need an intervention...and by intervention, of course, I mean a hosted bar!

In other news, Allison, my tramp of a co-worker, - I'm just kidding, she is a prude - is trying to find a loving home for her Weiner Dog Winston. If you know of anything let me know.

I have posted a link to my friend Francis' blog to the right hand side, y'all should check it out. He is a talented and articulate, and conveys some pretty cool thoughts and ideas along with some humorous stories. Some serious stuff, but the kind that makes you reflect and think. Not the useless garbage and rants that I decide to share with you here. Enjoy!

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday. For the gays, thats the game with Tight Ends, Full Backs and odd shaped balls being thrusted around the pitch...I would definitely put my money on the Steelers winning...but since I have no money that is not a concern of mine. Therefore, I am going to pick the Cardinals in an upset, 27-17.

The End!

I Heart Jennifer Coolidge (Stiffler's Mother)

2009-01-30T16:08:00.001-08:00

Ever since I spent that fateful day in Inglewood, I felt like a changed man...I think I need Double D Ass implants....

2009-01-30T15:33:00.000-08:00

This is digustingly hilarious...

Either click the link or read the picture-less text below...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/asian_teen_has_sweaty_middle_aged

AOMORI, JAPAN—At first glance, 17-year-old Misaki Nakajima seems like any other shy and submissive Japanese schoolgirl. She loves shopping, text messaging, and the color pink. But beneath her wholesome exterior lies a wicked secret: Misaki Nakajima is consumed by sexual fantasies involving sweaty, middle-aged American men.

I can't explain it," said Nakajima, dressed in a pleated miniskirt and pure white knee socks. "There's just something about American men who are at least twice my age and nearly three times my body weight that totally drives me wild."

Added Nakajima, "They're so hot."

Though she finds all pasty, middle-aged men intoxicating, Nakajima said balding Midwesterners who carry most of their weight in their stomach particularly turn her on. According to the sexually inquisitive teen, she often daydreams about sleeping with a 43-year-old divorcé with poor hygiene habits.

"I like it when they dress up like middle managers," said Nakajima, twirling her girlish pigtails with one alabaster finger. "You know, with the sweat-stained dress shirts, and the office clipboards, and the khaki pants that are 2 inches too short."

The Japanese nymph then reportedly sighed, rolled over on her Hello Kitty bedsheets, and continued leafing through an old Rochester Big & Tall catalog.

While she has always been curious about men who attended state college before she was born, Nakajima said she first discovered her fetish after stumbling upon a late-night airing of Uncle Buck on television—a moment the teen now describes as her "sexual awakening."

"I was completely captivated by him," said Nakajima, referring to the obese, unemployed character played by John Candy. "He was so exotic-looking. It was like this whole new world of pleasure had just opened up for me."

Over the next several months Nakajima—a virgin—explored her new obsession by cutting out pictures of American men from riding mower advertisements and heart-attack-prevention brochures. The barely legal teen also discovered satellite broadcasts of ESPN2 around this time, and often stayed up all night ogling professional bowlers and competitive dart players.

Nakajima confessed to frequently searching the Internet to satisfy her insatiable appetite for round, greasy American men years past their sexual prime. A survey of her recent browsing history revealed such Google searches as "pale man lying on couch eating" and "retiree + jowls + hardcore." The teen has also bookmarked several sites with lurid pictures of aging American males, including BuffaloBillsFanZone.com and the History Channel chat room.

According to psychologist Asuka Yasuhara of Tokyo University, Nakajima is not alone.

"It's not uncommon for Asian girls to be fascinated with these types of men," said Dr. Yasuhara, who found in a recent survey that three out of 10 Japanese teenage girls list Paul Giamatti as the most attractive American celebrity. "And it's easy to see why. Sweaty, forty-something Caucasians represent the epitome of mystery and wonder to Asian teens."

Added Yasuhara, "Plus, how can anyone resist those enormous, chafed thighs?"

Drawn by her curiosity, Nakajima has scheduled a vacation to St. Louis for early March. The trip—which falls on her 18th birthday—reportedly coincides with the American Society of Actuaries' annual convention, a four-day event during which Nakajima hopes to be seduced by "the heavyset man of [her] dreams."

Although she has long fantasized about traveling overseas and having a world of carnal delights revealed to her by an aging claims adjuster, the taut Japanese teen admitted that she is uncertain how she'll be received by American men.

"I just hope they don't mind the fact that I'm completely shaven," Nakajima said. "Oh, who am I kidding? They'd probably never go for a naïve young sexual kitten like me."

How'd he Escape?

2009-01-30T10:32:00.000-08:00

I have decided to take a weekend off, and potentially the entire week, from drinking and the bars, sans Wednesday night Karaoke with A-hole(Allison's new nickname) and Dougie-Doug! I have been going out a little too much and have been indulging in too many things that require moderation. I am getting a bit burnt out being up every morning at 6 and staying out every evening til midnight...My bar trips and my morning trips to the gym are clashing and something has got to give. I am going to take the higher road this once...just once...and call off the bars. I have a lot to address over the next including analyzing where I am at, and what the hell I am doing.

I moved up here to get ahead. I moved up here to better myself via continued education and life/work experience, and I seemingly have gotten the opportunity of a lifetime this week. Now I need to take advantage of it. Slowing down and taking focus was not one of my New Years Resolutions, but it might be now. I have done well on my resolutions thus far. I have stopped biting my nails, I drive slower, I don't drunk text/communicate, I am in the gym 5-6 days a week, sometimes twice a day. Its difficult but encouraging when you can see the results.

This year has taught me a lot so far. The first thing that it has taught me--a lesson I have learned a couple times now--is that, in the words of the brilliant philospher Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what want, but if you try sometime, you may find, You'll get what you need..." This rings true. I came to the realization recently that I cannot have what I want all the time, it would be nice, but its not meant to be that way. You just gotta let thngs go, and get what you need.

I apoligize for all of this philosophical crap, but not too many embarrassing things have happened of late. The only thing of note, is that I finally broke down last week. I had a really long day from 6AM Wednesday to 1AM Thursday. I parked my car in the lot. Leaned my head back against my headrest and closed my eyes. I could feel my pulse in my temples and felt like I wanted to cry. Istead of crying I just screamed. A really loooooong drawn out "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!" You should try it sometime, screaming is quite the release. It felt great, then I looked to my right and realized that my passenger side car window was down, and of course, there is an older woman in her robe with her dog on a leash...Why wouldn't she be walking her dog at 1AM...I walked by and smiled and said "Have a lovely evening."

Thats where I am at right now, I needed a change of pace when I was in San Diego, and got one. I am happy in LA. I love the people and the pace of life. I did need an adjustment in the way I was living though and I have made it. For the first time in awhile, I'm happy, sometimes frustrated, but happy!

Oh and on a side note, My roommate moved out last night. When I say last night, I mean last night. I went to bed and his stuff was all still there. I woke up and it was gone...impressive...

It has been a rough start this year.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

2009-01-26T10:23:00.001-08:00

What can I see? Rock Bottom. I am not that close, just typing for the dramatics. I have had a few new "experiences" recently. Nothing too bad, most of them stemming from life, friendships, relationships etc. But now I have a new vice in my life. My family. The last thing that I expected to be a stressful or burdensome thing on my life is now just that. Its nothing bad that is happening, just a lot of weird little things. I have been a different person over the last few weeks and have had multiple people tell me that...I am aware people, thanks!

Money has always been my biggest stress, namely, not having any, and now I am really starting to feel the pinch. I think I landed a second job today, or at least I hope I did...We'll see what happens with that. It feels like I am crashing and burning even though I am not. Kinda hard to describe. The only thing to do is to keep pluggin away I guess. I am not alone on this. It actually makes it easier to struggle when others around you are struggling as well.

So, the last few days have been fun. Watched Gran Torino yesterday with David and Richard, good movie, as everyone else has already said. I went to Circuit City because I needed a pair of headphones for my car/gym. I knew they were having a sale, so i was all about it. I got a pair for $13.00, score!! They work really well and actually have some pretty reasonable sound...

I met up last night in Silver Lake with a friend, George, and had a nice dinner at Gingergrass. I definitely enjoyed it which is good because it put me at my budget for the pay period for dining expenses. Haha George was good company though, a wonderfully nice guy, and I definitely would love to hang out again...Salt and Pepper has never looked so good! hahahaha Just Kidding...

I went out to the Abbey last night with Allison, and her friends Johnny and Ian. I was not going to drink, because of my previous budget issues, but Johnny felt bad and bought me a beverage...Mmmm, Vodka Rocks, splash of water...It was refreshing! There were lots of silly-looking people out last night, namely, the Geico Caveman, half the cast from Madagascar, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Dolly Partons Boobs on Molly Wringwold's body and Jermaine Dupri...A couple of cute guys but they all seemed to be smoking. Gross...You gotta be really hot to get away with smoking! haha. I never understood why the gays, the most superficial group of people I know, smoke. It yellows your teeth, wrinkles your skin and makes you stink... REALLY homos? Ohh, and it takes years off of your life, forgot about that one.

I had a job interview this morning. It went really well and I should be able to balance both jobs at about 25-30 hours, exciting. I will have no life, but its okay. The life that I want now, is out of my reach, so I may as well just get my shit together while I can right? My mother is no longer reading my blog. She said she gets too frustrated. Hmmm...I could not imagine why that would be the case.

That's all I got. Bye

Why I am not drinking for awhile(until Saturday afternoon)

2009-01-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

When describing my night, there are multiple points where I probably should stop typing for the sake of my Mother, Hi Mom. But since this is based on my destructive behavior and awful luck at the game/obstacle of life, I won't.

I think I got out of work at about 9:30 and met Nareth at Phil and RD's. The topic of conversation...Porn...

It took all of 3 minutes for Phil to have an icy cold 32oz beverage in front of me. This was one of those points that I could just stop writing, and save some shred of remaining dignity, but no...

So I made a second drink, and then David showed up. David is affectionately known as "Shots." This is another point in which I should stop. Nareth pours two shots of 151...REALLY...151? I'm just going to drink the bleach under the sink instead! Nareth hands one to David and the other to me...WTF? I did not ask for a shot. But being me, I took it. and finished my drink. I made my third drink a little too stiff...and almost could not finish it.

We walked down to RAGE and I was already feeling smashed. Nareth and I stopped got Chicken Nuggets. I just now got off the phone with Rettles to try and piece this part together...As we were macking on our food some "Dingle-Berry" came up and said, "Dude are those Chicken Nuggets? Can I Try One?" So we said sure. Then he told me I was "Hella Hot." He was not. Nareth's quick thinking saved me...and screwed me at the same time. Instead of saying he is with me, he said "He is straight...and from Scotland." So I did my best Scottish accent. Thanks Maurizio! I apparently talked to him for a good couple minutes in what I am sure was a butchered accent...Finally I said, "Oh...Me Mates awaitin' for me" At that point the guy kinda looked puzzled. I was now Australian! So we left and went to Rage. I had my wristband on the wrong arm, and my man-crush Art saved me, and put it on the right arm. I love Art! If he were not there I would have had to wait in line, and I don't queue very well. We grabbed a drink and mingled.

***I think we had another drink, I think I talked to RD, I think someone told me that I was tall, I think I saw someone I thought I knew, and I think I unintentionally ignored them. This part will all become more clear in the next few days***

We then inexplicably left. I am sure there was a reason, and we were there for a while, but this was all foreign to me. We went back to Phil and RD's, and Nareth and I walked Luka their Basset Hound. It was pretty much time travel at that point. I remember being at these places and doing these things but the movement from point A to B was all a mystery to me. I do remember walking Luka with Nareth. I was like a shiny steel ball in a game of urban pinball. I was bouncing off of and bumping into anything that I possibly could. When I get a bit tipsy I work extra hard to compose myself. I am somewhat of a guarded person and don't like to let everyone in. The exception to this is of course the blog. But last night, I was catastrophic, tragic and I'm sure painful to watch. We got back to Phil and RD's and "Shots" seemed to be in the same condition I was, Ron was helping him to the couch. Well at least we know the side effects of 151 now. I came to in front of my house Nareth had driven me home. I fell out of the car, literally, fell out and walked to my house again, playing "Urban Pinball" the entire way!!! The End

Just some random notes...

2009-01-23T13:15:00.000-08:00

We are going to see My Bloody Valentine in 3-D on Saturday evening. Anyone wanna go? Nareth, Kevin and I so far plus some others but I'm not too sure who. If you wanna go let me know.

A friend of mine Jason is producing a calendar to benefit the Asian Pacific Health Care Venture of Los Angeles and are currently seeking local Asian, Asian-American and Pacific Island male models. Please contact them for further information or email us at asiancalendar2010@gmail if you are interested in modeling or know of anyone who might be interested. This is great publicity for the aspring actor in all of you!! This is not a scandalous calender either. Simply a calender of real everyday guys. The calendar is being shot by professional photographer and activist, Jeff Sheng and edited by Nareth Chuon. If you have any questions, let me know, or feel free to check out their information pages on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1161217641&v=feed&viewas=3202357

or myspace: myspace.com/apmcalendar

FINALLY...

This is a note from my former roommate/buddy Chad's facebook. Chad is Black, in case you needed to know...

November 04, 2008 was a sad day in the history of Blacks in this country. For on the same day we as a people got together in large numbers and voted for change and crossed a threshold many of us never thought we would get to see – an overwhelming 70% of Black Californians who voted – voted to legalize discrimination. We of all people should understand the basic and human need for respect and equality. To deny gays and lesbians the right to marriage is not only hypocritical it is reprehensible. How can we, on such a historic day look at ourselves with pride when we have helped to limit the freedom of others?

Marriage is more than just a term. It is more than an expression of love between two people. It is a legal status that grants certain rights and responsibilities. Some of these rights include: federal benefits, tax breaks, insurance breaks, veteran’s benefits, and survivor benefits. Imagine you’re boyfriend or girlfriend / husband or wife sick in the hospital and not being able to visit them because a collective of people have deemed your love less significant as theirs. Imagine having that same loved one pass and all of the assets that you have shared being taken away from you. Some may argue in favor of civil unions but civil unions are not the same as marriage. Some of the rights I just mentioned are covered in some states by civil unions but not all. Furthermore, civil unions are not recognized by other states. So if a couple were to move what ever little rights they had would be stripped. The United States was founded upon the belief of equality for all. It is up to the majority to stand up for the minority if we are to be that great country that we proclaim to be.

For those of you who hide behind religion let me remind you that religion was also used as a basis for denying us several rights in this country. And for many, marriage is not a spiritual agreement. People of different religions are allowed to marry. Atheist can marry. People can marry, divorce and marry again, several times. Brittany Spears can marry some dude in a speedy Vegas wedding because she’s high off her face and thinks it’ll be a great way to spend thirteen hours and we are okay with this. One supporter of prop 8 said to a newspaper, “people should do what they want to do, but it shouldn’t be forced on others.” What baffles me is what does he think is being forced upon him. Tolerance? Acceptance? Equality? Are not these the same arguments used in opposition of desegregation? So now the oppressed have become the oppressors?

Gays and lesbians stood with us, cheered with us, cried with us and fought together with us to help elect the first black president and I am ashamed at how we have repaid them.

100th Post!

2009-01-22T00:33:00.000-08:00

So I took out the trash last night, Allison and Andrea...Just kidding, they aren't trash, haha. So I took out the whores last night and we decided to go to MoLo first because of the awesomeness of the drinks and the awesomeness of the barman, Doug. I am in love with Doug. He is the coolest guy ever. He is the kind of guy that I would like to bring home to the parents, and after they both look at me in disbelief that he is not a 5'6" Pinoy/Latino/Chinaman/Viet, we could all bond! Allison told me to get his number and marry him because she wants to hang out with him. My response: "Remember Nov. 4th? Yeah, thanks for that one!"

After a drink and shots, I'm not sure why Doug gave us the shots, but whatever, we went to Karaoke at Fiesta. We got a delicious vodka soda and headed up stairs. David was there for his friends birthday party, and was on his way out, I said hello, and introduced my "Ladies of the Night," and then he took off. I ran into Patrick and his man-lover Luis who had just gotten out of opening night of Phantom, FUN! It was Luis' B-day. I also ran into Jason Bowers, had yet to see him outside of my place of employment so that was nice! He is quite the character. Entertaining. Thats all. I'm off to bed.

I have learned soooo much...

2009-01-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

A sincere thanks and a debt of gratitude to my bosses, Marcus and Harry for providing me with the necessary texts of enlightenment. I received today, a copy of "What's Your Poo telling You?" While at first humorous this book has taught me much needed information such as nicknames for Diarrhea; Butt Piss, The Runs, Oil Spill, Number Three, Hersey Squirts, Montezuma's Revenge, Chocolate Thunder, Operation Marination, Operation Evacuation, Releasing the Hounds, The Nile, Poo Stew, Chocolate Slurpee, Gravy Poo, Birds Flying South for the Winter, Rectum Rapids, It's Raining Poo, Deuce Juice and my personal favorite, Turd Tea.

I feel now, with this new found knowledge and confidence that my Poo experiences going forward will be nothing short of fascinating!

I highly recommend this delicious piece of literature for your consumption!

"What's your Poo Telling You?" by Josh Richman and Anish, Sheth, M.D.

ISBN # 9780811857826

A Gay Ole Time!

2009-01-21T11:52:00.000-08:00

I just got back from the gym about a half hour ago. I had to cut my routine short because I smashed the crap out of my left thumb. No really, I dropped a weight on my thumb, and crap came out...Normally this would be one of those haha, laugh at dumb-ass unfortunate Brandon, but there is more to it than just my clumsiness and perpetual self-inflicted casualties that have become a way of life for me...

I was doing my pre lifting cardio, usually only about 10 minutes on the stationary bike, just a little something to get the blood going. This guy walks in and walks past me and smiles, he is hot. AND donning an HRC(Human Rights Campaign, look it up breeders) tank top, SCORE! So he goes down stairs and jumps on to the Stair Master thingy. Conveniently, there was one open directly behind him. So I ditched my crappy "bike without a view" and headed towards buns of steel and the stair master.

20 minutes later, I got bored of watching and decided to start my routine, I went over to the flat bench and grabbed some weights. I decided that it would be humorous to "Twitter" about it. Who the hell "Twitters" or "Tweets" in the gym right? Well my tragic ass does! So I had both weights leaning against one another while seated on the bench. and one slipped, POW, BAM, WHACK, SMASH, CRASH, BANG, BOOM, BLUDGEON, and many other onomotapieas that describe painful contact. So effectively I was at the gym being a pervert and then trying to twitter about it, and I pretty much got my just desserts...

I went to Gayme night last night for the first time ever. Soooo much fun. I was tired and antisocial and grumpy when i left work and was not sure how it was going to go. But to be honest, I had a blast. We played dirty minds for about ten minutes and then moved onto cranium and taboo where our team, Phil, David, Ron, Jeffery and myself got KILLED by the much less handsome much less intelligent, much more lucky team of Reth, Kris, Josh, RD and Frangelo...haha, I kid, I kid! I had a ton of fun and look forward to doing it again sometime soon! Thanks for the invite guys!

I feel like writing about something...

2009-01-20T14:06:00.000-08:00

For two reasons, A. Boredom and 2. I have lots of thought dancing around in my clinically disturbed booze shaker of a head. I am not sure what this will be about until the very end, but we'll see what happens.

I have gotten quite a bit of crap from people for a couple of reasons recently. The first was my "unfair and insensitive" portrayal of Inglewood. And to those people who have expressed concern, go away. I simply documented everything i saw, including a bit of photo evidence. Stereotypes are funny, especially when they play out to be true...Chicken-heads... 2. "You have not posted enough of the negative stuff that is happening to you." Thanks Brian! My misery is your pleasure, I will try to live a crappier life for your convenience.

I have decided that everytime I go out, I am going to try and create drama for your enjoyment. I thinking a random slur, or an airborne pint glass at 1am at the Abbey would do the trick. Or maybe hooking up with a large lady-man on the corner of Santa Monica Blvd and San Vicente. Getting arrested has its appeal as does trying to steal a kiss form a couple who happen to already me making out...So many choices...A simple boob grab or random ass-slap also has potential to create some problems. Any other suggestions? My well-being and life are in your hands...

Work is going really well. I have not had a run in with "Jean Summers" and her 30Lb Pussy in quite awhile. I think if she were to come in and talk to me I would be driven over the edge. Then I would have to explain to the police why I hit her with the 25Lb printer that I am staring at right now. I think if I just direct them to her history they will understand.

Friends are good. I missed out on a trip to Temecula on Sunday to celebreate, Paul's, Kat's, Kelly's, Sophie's and John's Birthdays because I just did not feel well enough to go out, and because I did not want to go down there by myself. I had aasked a couple people who showed a slight interest but that appeared to fade with time. As it always does with acquaintances. I have been going out quite a bit up here and meeting some new faces which is nice. I am trying to get accustomed to the group, but as your prototypical, "New Overly-Opinionated Ass-Hole" this has become a bit tricky. Whatever, it'll happen.

The love life is...ummm...The End...

Family is well. The last thing I heard from my Mom was a quote on my blog about poor decisions, she said, BRANDON MATTHEW WATSON. And that was it. I am assuming it was Mother Dearest because of the tone, yes text has tone.

Overall, my life seems hectic right now, and frankly its not terribly fun. I am the kind of personality that loves to be around people, whether it be a group of ten people, or just one, I just like having someone to talk to. Plus, I don't look so batshit crazy when there is someone else to talk to. I have recently been changing my plans and schedule around a lot in the hopes of having consecutive days off from work which has tragically backfired, because the handful people who I actually was looking forward to hanging out with are either busy, or not around. Therefore, I have had a lot of time to think. Thinking for me is dangerous, unless Trivial Pursuit or Cranium, then I will murder you, figuratively of course. :-) When I think, I think way too much. I think myself into situations that are so unbelievably far-fetched that I for some reason believe them. Lame...

I have to do an Obama shout out, simply because this is the best day in the last 8 calender years. I feel happy, elated almost. George Bush and his 22% approval rating have just landed in Texas where he will forever resign to being labeled, "The Worst President in United States History". Worse than Nixon(Watergate), worse than Warren G. Harding(Tea Pot Dome Scandal), worse than Ronald Reagan (Just being a douche or Dingle-Berry). Immediately after 9/11, Bush's Approval rating his approval rating soared from a dismal pre 9/11 mark of 51 to 90%. As he ascended from the Capital Helipad his rating had descended to the lowest mark ever, in the history of the United States Executive Branch. In conclusion, I hate George W. Bush, I hate his smug smirks, I hate the fact that he still after 8 years of foul-ups, takes no accountability for anything that he has helped create/destroy...

Bon Voyage Dingle-Berry...

Oh and for those of you who are still reading, check out my co-worker Allison's awkward encounters and dating predicaments at allisonslaadventures.blogspot.com

Obama Time

2009-01-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

How can you not get excited over this? For those of you that are still in denial about the atrocity, audacity and destruction caused by the last 8 years. Open your eyes. This nation is only as effective as its people, and the people are finally united. For the first time in my life and as far as I know, since Kennedy, yes, I am comparing Obama to Kennedy, this nation has rallied around someone, something. The embarrassment that was known as George W Bush is done. Over. The only thing that remains is his "Legacy", and that is something that he need to bear the burden of, because I have washed my hands clean.

Our patchwork Heritage is a strength not a weakness...This is the first time that people from every walk of life, no matter the class, religion, ethnicity or orientation have united around one person or one idea. I am not saying that PRESIDENT OBAMA is the answer, but he is definitely not more of the problem...This is a step in the right direction for all Americans.

On a lighter note, watch this HILARIOUS video...

Poor Decisions...

2009-01-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was fun, I had the day off so I went to hang out with a friend in the valley for a couple of hours and then headed to The Spa for a beverage or four. It was so good to see the Sunday crew again, Harry, Debbie, Will, Kevin and Santos all in the same place again. I hung out there for awhile and then went with Harry and Kevin to grab some dinner.

I went out with Adrian last night, whose last name, and I can now confirm it, is not Rn. We went to Mother Lode and met the coolest Barman ever! Doug! A few Vodka Sodas and a couple Washington Apples later and I was getting pretty buzzed. This guy, whom i have seemingly forgotten his name and will therefore be known as "Not a Chance in Hell" or NACIH from now on, came up and asked me about my drink. We started talking and I just kinda decided that I will talk to him for a little bit, because his friends were getting ready to leave and I figured they'd take him with them. WRONG, 10 minutes later he was still talking, and touching...yuck. His friend came up to him and said alright I think we are going to leave, and as soon as NACIH turned to look for his friend I was gone...Stealth...

So I stopped drinking in order to be able to drive. I was heading down Doheney and cut through Beverly Hills over to my street via Gregory. I stop at a stop sign, and see those ominous Crown Victoria headlights behind me. I roll my windows down, and stop at the next three stop signs. I made a right onto Robertson and stopped at the Olympic stop light. They pulled right up next to me and this is what happened:

Piggy McPiggerson(Pig): How you doing tonight?
Me: I'm doing well thanks.
Pig: Where you headed?
Me: Robertson and Pico, Home
Pig: Were you out at the bars tonight?
Me: Yup
Pig: Alright, Get home safely.
Me: Huh?
Pig: I said Drive home safely.

That folks was my last get out of jail free card. I am a huge shamer of drunk drivers. I know we have all done it at one point in our lives, but that does not make it ok. I was not bombed or anything, and I was completely capable of driving, but I was probably pretty near the .08. Stupid...

A Timothy Intervention

2009-01-18T10:00:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in my previous blog, Tim and I went out.

I called Tim at about 8PM because I had not heard of anything going on and Tim said that he may want to go out. I said, "Tim, Come Out and Play! I need someone to save me from myself." Haha, but no really, that is definitely a partial truth.

I have been nothing short of a psychopath for the last couple weeks and I needed a change of pace. Work has really taken a lot out of me as well as life outside of work, etc... Draining, physically and emotionally. Yesterday was my first day off from the gym since the 4th and Friday was my first full day off of work in that same time period. I have become quite the introvert, and for those of you who have known me for a long time, an introvert is not the best way to describe me. Soooooo anyways...

Tim and I were not really sure where we were going to go, soooo Tim put his sexy car(See a 3649Lb Orgasm post) on auto-pilot and we ended up parking at the Abbey. Hmmm, Weird, the Abbey?

We grabbed a drink and made fun of some older gentleman whom finds it fitting to wear his sunglasses at night, in a bar...and if you are blind and use them as eye shields, my apologies...but yeah, we kinda milled around for a bit and looked at people...errr...Well I frantically searched for a pretty face and Tim stared at "Barman" until i had to wipe the drool off of his chin. There was one pretty face in a (couldn't actually tell)light blue/lavender/teal/aquamarine/sea foam green/mint green/turquoise colored shirt with a really neat tattoo on his arm. He was there with his also attractive friend and a lady friend. I kinda made quick eye contact but, being the pansy that I am, I looked away quickly and pretended to ignore him. Smooth...Jesus I suck...We got our drinks from "Barman" and headed into the adjacent room where they followed us, stood there for five minute, RIGHT NEXT TO US, STARED AT US, and still, all I could do was look at Tim and talk about something totally stupid, like (Here comes my George Cleveland Shout-out) Zoroastrianism, the 1985 Danny White led Dallas Cowboys, Vanna White, or other supercilious topics. I need to work on my "game". Maybe I will take another trip to Inglewood and have one of my homies teach me how to "Holler at dem hoes"...

Anyways, Tim and I moved on and were standing at the front and saw Phil and said hello. I turned around to find Tim and he was gone, just like that. He had been abducted by an absolutely smashed foreign couple who were slow-dancing to a different beat. Tim, kinda looked at me with that, "Please God Strike Me Dead So This Will Stop" kind of look and called me over then I got sucked in. The couple had their arms around Tim and I and the lady was getting frisky. We escaped just in time as the couple started making out. It was only 1:30 but Timothy was tired and I was getting inexplicably grumpy. I guess it just comes with old age, so we headed out. I needed a night out without any pressure or stress and I got it. I feel as refreshed as a hung-over person might expect to feel.

I was supposed to go wine tasting today for a few friends birthdays but I really was not in the mood to get into my car and drive to SD by myself. I asked a few people to go, but none of them seemed too enthused about it, so I kinda stopped pursuing it. Cut your losses right? Alright all, enjoy the rest of your weekend!

B

Brandon and the Triple Date...

2009-01-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

I went to Dinner last night at Maggiano's Little Italy at The Grove with Nareth, Tim and Tim's friends Shelly. Had a good time. I have not really talked to Tim in a while in depth, and Nareth had not seen him since October so it was nice to catch up.

After dinner, Rettles and I went to Phil and RD's to pre-drink before we went to the bars...Baller's on a Budget...We had five or six shots of Vodka and Papaya juice and then headed out. We went to Rage and got on the dance floor, I started dancing and Rettles looked at me and shook his head. He said, like a hula hoop, dance like you're hula hooping! So I Hula hooped for a little bit, and then it went south again...He looked at me again, and this time looked disgusted, he said, "Just try and feel the music." I said I'm white, this is how we feel music....I was feeling it so hard my hand was sliding up the songs thigh and going for the crotch...however, my movements weren't reflecting it....And that, ladies and gentlemen how I dance...I will take charity dance lessons if someone REALLY feels sorry for me...

Nareth said, c'mon, lets just get another drink...I concurred...

We had another drink or two and decided it was time to take off.

***Fast forward to tonight***

Tim and I are going out again tonight, not sure where, but we'll see where it goes...I'm sure I'll have something to blog about tomorrow! haha

The Darwin Awards

2009-01-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

One of my personal favorites is the Darwin Awards. Read on...

It's that time again: The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine that toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.
This year's winner was a real rocket scientist ... !
Read on, and remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.
The nominees were:

Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he rushed to vomit into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his unfortunate sister.

Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles (HARD to control light airplanes when everyone moves to one side).

Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston , VA man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael , a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'

Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend -- no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate -- was hospitalized.

Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter.
Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.

Now, to the winner of this year's Darwin Award
(awarded, as always, posthumously):
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist ... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.
You couldn't make this stuff up, could you?

Always up to no good...

2009-01-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

This is going to be the most offensive blog that I have ever written. You have been warned so I don't want to hear anyone whining about the inappropriateness of it all. Get over it...

My First trip to Inglewood...

So I went to a job interview today for a fancy-schmancy restaurant in Manhattan Beach. The interview went really well except for the very last question he asked...He looked at my address and said, "Do You live in that West Hollywood area?" I was kinda taken aback by the question and he quickly covered his ass by saying, "Oh, I mean I am new to the area and just trying to get my bearings straight." Hmmmm, ok...

After my interview I went to Costco to get some goodies. I mapped it on my phone and found out that the nearest one was next to Hollywood Park Casino. So I headed up there and parked. I had no idea that I was in Inglewood til it was too late...This is where the offensive part begins. I think I will label this blog, Stereotypes...

I got out of my car, and Stereotype #1 occurred, a large tall man, probably almost 9 feet tall and about 3100 Lbs was pushing his cart while doing a "Gangster Lean," yes a Gangster Lean... I flashed my card at the door and notices a sign that said no personal checks...#2

I did not get past the mouthwash/body care section before I heard another Inglewoodian holler at his hoe, "You such a Chicken-Head, Get off yo damn phone." At this point I had busted up laughing, and had to escape to the frozen food section, where the old lady(who was, contrary to recent occurrences, very pleasant) was sampling Mickey Mouse Fried Chicken Nuggets. That's # 4. I went to the meat section, and all they had for chicken was drumsticks...skin on...no kidding. #5. Not a Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast in sight. There were signs throughout the store printed in English and Spanish that read, "Mind Your Children." Now that is not really a stereotype, however when the image on the sign is of the silhouetted woman dragging child dragging doll:

Which as we all know, pertains to immigration. So for the sake of making them seem more racially insensitive, I am going to tag that as #6.

I was loading my groceries into my car. It was hot as hell, so I turned my car on and rolled down the windows while i loaded the trunk. My CD player started and broke into "How Many Licks" by Lil Kim as a Woman was getting her two kids out of the car right next to me. I almost tripped over my own feet trying to get to front seat fast enough to turn my radio down. She just shook her head at me and shot me a dirty look...Why wouldn't that happen, right??

On my way out of the parking lot, I ran into THE other Caucasian patron. Or so I thought, when i passed him he was asking for change....

So my first/last trip to Inglewood was satisfactorily non-eventful, and I got a kick out of the Tyler Perry-esque generalities and stereotypes that I saw. David always claims to be a little bit "Hood", after living there for 6 months. I always give him crap about it, but now, I think I should give him a little more street cred! Haha

Oh Inglewood, you are always up to no good...

B

I think therefore I am bored...

2009-01-15T15:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish I was dumb. I wish my mind was numb. I wish I had a calm, complacent mind that did not wander...but INSTEAD....I am stuck with this big damn balding dome on top of my shoulders...When I am bored, my mind races, I think about everything, I worry about everything,I ponder all the what-ifs, how-comes, and why-woulds of everyday existence. I should be thinking about something constructive, like, where should I get a second Job, when should I return to school, how can I better myself, my life? etc. Instead I sit here on the couch, thinking, and sometimes its depressing, sometimes its enlightening, but every thought pertains to something that is out of my control. I cannot control what others do, think and feel, but I still manage to waste, what could be valuable time being consumed by thought. I have a philosophy about not sweating the small stuff in life, but recently I have not exactly adhered to that philosophy.

Maybe its just human nature to wonder...to put yourself in different situations and position, or maybe its the 5 shots of iced espresso that I have had over the last 30 minutes...Haha, either way, its time to get ready for work. Sorry I am not more entertaining today. I will try to pick another fight with the elderly/homeless for your entertainment...

B

New idea...

2009-01-15T11:39:00.001-08:00

So my life has been slow recently, at least on the blog front. No fights with the decrepit, drunken shenanigans or bar brawls to speak of. There have been some akward/confusing/frustrating situations of late, but I am saving those for a rainy day.

I did have one blog-worthy story to tell, I had the most impressive celebrity sighting ever today...I had what I think was an "Eric Estrada Sighting." You all know Eric Estrada from those silly pictures:

Oh, and he was also on some show "CHiP's" in the 80's...The best part, and again, I'm not 100% sure this was him, but he was parked at the BP gas station on Robertson and Olympic and was driving a refurbished Police Cruiser. I thought, Ohhhh, the Irony!!!

Allison and I went out to Bingo last night at Hamburger Mary's and met Nareth, Frangelo, Jeffery and Kris. Played a little gay bingo and then went over to OBar to see Kevin Barry for his 30th B-day. He was a bit sauced but had had a good night! I was sad to hear that he will be leaving back to cold Philadelphia at the end of February, but I guess that's life right?

We went to Fiesta for Karaoke and milled around for a little bit, Nareth taught me to dance like I'm hula hooping. Hahaha, fun times! Before long, I'm not going to need booze to dance! hahaha. I work today at 4 for a couple hours and then have Friday off which will be nice!!! Have a lovely Thursday people.

Brandon

For all you Twitter A-holes...Brett...

2009-01-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

I am on twitter now and am tweeting(sp?) I hate technology! But add me!

Brandon1982

Later

An MJ's kinda night...

2009-01-14T10:49:00.001-08:00

I'll start off by saying that I feel a little better than I did yesterday about life and connections and that I feel as though I have hit the reset button on life which was something that I was not really allowed to do in the last few months. :-)

I went to MJ's last night with David, Richard and Ellis and met a few friends that I have not seen in awhile, Patrick, Brian and Adrian. It was great to catch up with everyone. In typical MJ's fashion, there was gross 80's porn on the TV along with some gross 80's Go-Go dancers on stage...We grabbed a quick drink and headed outside. After meandering around for an hour or so, we headed back in to dance for a little bit. Yes, dance, Yes, Me. The more that I go out with Rich and Davie the more I dance. I cannot help it...I am slowly becoming less white, well at least I am exhibiting less of the "White Boy Dance Stereotype". Not that I know how to dance, or that it looks even remotely like dancing, its fun to just let your inhibitions go and move around a bit.

So we were dancing around and some big gross sweaty guy bumped into me, and "saturated" my right arm...Bleh!!! I moved forward a bit and he slammed into me again. At this point he was pretty much grinding on me, I kept trying to move away and he kept getting right back on me. I was surrounded by attractive people, and this guys was on me? Really? Damn the luck! Whatever, I had a lot of fun with the guys and look forward to doing it again sometime soon.

Oh and Adrian, Banana Penis Porn, I told you I'd remember!

I got work today from 3-9 and then might be going to Karaoke tonight with Allison at Fiesta. I think we are doing a Duet, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee. We'll see how that goes. Talk at y'all later.

Some ties are meant to be cut...

2009-01-13T12:09:00.000-08:00

And some loose ends are meant to be tied up...I need to figure myself and my "ties" out, and soon, because its really screwing shit up. Thats all that I am going to say about that.

In other news, I almost had a heart-attack today. Really, I may have been pretty close. I went to the gym this morning and shot some hoops for a little bit. It felt good to jump around for 30 minutes or so. I had not played basketball since Meech and I dominated psychopaths at the Hollywood Arclight 24 back in June. It got my heart rate racing and my blood pumping. I was going to go and do some quick cardio and then head home to get ready for work. My right knee which usually prevents me high impact cardio(treadmill) felt good and loose so I decided to get on the treadmill. I just started running! It felt great. My heart was racing i could feel my pulse in my temples. About 25 minutes later, which is probably the longest I have ever ran...ever...ever...I reached down and grabbed the heart rate monitor and was astonished!!!! My heart rate was 196bpm...WTF? I let it go and grabbed it again and it said 195. Ok, time to stop. I normally have a slow resting heart rate, about 50-54 bpm. It has been an hour since I left the gym and it is still about 84bpm...Hmmm, no more treadmill for awhile...

In other less boring news, oh no wait there is no other news... *sigh*

Just a couple of Tid-Bits

2009-01-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

As my work day was winding down and coming to a close, I was pondering what to do with myself after work. Gym? Food? A Movie? Thankfully, David text me and answered my question. He and his roommate Richard were going out for a quick beverage and to meet with Richards new "Squeeze" who, by the way, is really cool.

We got to Foxtail around 10:30 or so. None of us had ever been there before, but apparently it was gay night on this one particular Sunday. Richard met up with Ellis and a couple of his friends. They were all really nice. Tony and Dan I think their names were, and we danced the night away...Well, realistically, I shuffled my stupid white feet around and bobbed my head, like white people do when they attempt this "Dance" thing.

Normally I prefer dancing "with/against" someone, but as soon as that someone got a little closer, I just locked up and froze like a pre-pubescent boy at his first middle-school dance, wondering if its her "Koodies" that are making his loins tingle...sigh...What the hell Brandon? Dumb-ass...

Alright, enough about my strife, lets talk wine...I am planning on going to Temecula on Sunday for a wine tasting with a bunch of my hetero-life-mates from San Diego. I think I wanna gay it up a bit, anyone wanna go? It might be an all day excursion, I'll drive, and yes...I'll stay sober. For those of you who know me well, I am making quite the sacrafice staying sober on a winery trip! I just want some good company and some good times! Give me a bell if you are interested...

Karaoke!

2009-01-11T12:18:00.001-08:00

I would like to preface this blog by saying GO CHARGERS!!! The Bolts play in crappy freezing cold Pittsburgh today and are going to need to play flawless...We'll see what happens...

And now, onto the Juicy Bits!

I got out of work last night around 9PM and raced out to Korea Town to meet Nareth and the girls at Yose Karaoke Bar. I was exhausted from work but felt like I needed to go out.

As soon as I walked into the room Ron poured me a beverage and it was ON! I could not drink that much because I was driving, but I got my fair share. Enough to sing backup on a couple songs, Don't Stop Believing (Journey), Don't Speak (No Doubt), and of course, YMCA, what else would you sing in a room full of drunk gays. haha. Everyone was seemingly having a great time. We were there for about 3 hours and then most headed home but a few of us, Nareth, Kevin, Mario, Jorrell and Myself, headed to the Abbey. I was the fifth leg, but its ok. We got a drink and decided to call it a night.

I had a blast on my first Karaoke night, and hope that there are more. Next time, someone can drive me that way I can let my true singing talent show!! God help all of you...Haha

OLD PEOPLE!!! ARGH!

2009-01-10T13:42:00.000-08:00

I was just at Vons on Fairfax and Pico and had just finished loading up my car, got in closed my door and got ready to back out. An old man, probably around the age of 410, pulled into the spot next to me in his MASSIVE Cadillac. I was waiting for him to pull all the way in so that I could back out. His buddy in the passenger seat throws his door open into mine. Keep in mind, I am sitting in my car with my window down looking at them. He then proceeds to get out of the car look at me, look at my door and then close his. I said "Excuse Me, You just hit my car." He looked at me and said, "No I didn't, I don't understand." So I smiled, looked straight ahead grit my teeth, rolled up my window and left.

My heel was pulsating the entire time too...

Is Obama Pro Euthanasia?

Why Can't Life Be Easy?

2009-01-10T10:09:00.002-08:00

Because then it would not be called "Life". It would be called "Easy". God I'm philosophical...

***CAUTION*** THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SOME DEEP SHIT!! READ WITH DISCRETION. Hehe

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days since getting back from San Diego. Thinking about where I am at right now, relationships(or lack there of), friendships and work related stuff. And I have come to the conclusion that without a little struggle in life I would have completely lost interest by now. I get frustrated with myself and others sometimes because I am not certain of what is going on. I like to know what people think (both about me, and in general), and I like to know intentions. I have always been a decent judge on character/intent, and I think that is one of the reasons that I still have 4 close friends from the age of 6, Ryan Arant, Alan Brimer, Aimee Davignon and James Barlow. I am right now though at a loss. I feel like I have become a bit disconnected from those around me and those that I think I really care about or have the potential to really care about. I am happy to have made some new friends recently, but am not able to read intent. This is something that only time can solve. It is also something that makes me a big friggin' "Worry Wort." Its one of those situations where I just need to keep playing the game of life, and see where my path takes me. I have come to the realization that in the game of "Life", no matter how hard it is, and how alone and somber you feel, you never really lose the game until you quit playing.

In other news, Marlene Okner, yes you Marlene, has left us at work for greener pastures and ridiculous schedules! I work 15 of the next 16 days and my only day off is a crappy Monday. I am taking Sundays off starting on the 18th and am going to enjoy every bit of them. It will be nice to have a lazy day off when all my amigos are off too. The one problem with being in the service/hospitality industry is that your schedule is usually pretty effed-up as Marsa says.

My Chargers are playing tomorrow at 1:00PM. I work at 2:00.. :-| Really? They are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh and are NOT at all favorites based on Vegas odds. We'll see how that goes. God knows I'll have ESPN Gamecast up at work watching every play! I hope its not busy on Sunday, because I'm not doing a DAMN THING!

I went out last night with Alex and Joel to the Abbey and met up with Phil, Frang, the Jeffs, Mark, Dindo and a couple others. It was a good time. I kinda sat back and listened to the conversations around me, trying to drink it all in.

Frangelo's man proposed to him on Xmas Day up in the Bay and bought him a really nice ring. I don't know them very well at all, but I am really happy to see the gays standing up to this proposition 8 BS. My advice, go to San Francisco, and let Mayor(Future Governor?) Newsome marry you to spite the 52% of this hateful state.

A couple of Dindo's amigos were drunk and bashing each other and one of them used a racial epithet for a person of Arab origin that also contains a racial slur for a black person...You figure it out...Normally people say whatever and I don't really get that offended. This time was no different, but I still thought about it all the way home. I thought about it long enough that I had a dream last night. I for some reason remember this dream VERY VIVIDLY!

I was at dinner with the cast of Family Matters, Yes, Family Matters, Carl, Harriet, Eddie, Laura, Judy(Who is now an adult filmstar), Richie, Aunt Rachel, Grandma Estelle, Urkel, Waldo and even Urkel's gf Myra...Don't ask. Anyways, every time I opened my mouth a racial slur came out. Finally, Harriet asked me to leave dinner because I was making everyone upset. I woke up with tears in my eyes...WTF is wrong with me? haha

I think that's it, for now at least. I have not had any more run-ins with older Jewish woman which, of course, is a good thing. Today is Saturday though and they are all out walking like zombies. I need to be careful...

Man Crush...

2009-01-09T22:51:00.000-08:00

I think I have another new "Man-Crush." I am "Crushing" for Chris Martin. He realeased a song called Lhuna with Kylie Minogue in honor of World AID's Day on December 1st. It is a haunting song with haunting vocals and a good message.

Enjoy. Use it as background music for your readings!

Kylie:

I’m all by myself
I don’t need anybody else
I’m all by myself
No help

I’m all on my own
Quietly sleeping in my home
I’m all on my own
my own

Chris:

Hello
Won’t you let me come in?
Lhuna, can’t you hear how much I’m suffering?
Hello
Won’t you let me know?
Cos I’m all alone
all alone

Both:

We are dreaming about Lhuna
The smell of her
The touch and the taste of her
dreaming about Lhuna
Her and me, simultaneously

Kylie:

I don’t know what the time is
I don’t know where you’ve flown
And I don’t know why you’re so far
from home

Chris:

Hello
Won’t you let me come in?
Lhuna, can’t you hear how much I’m suffering?
Hello
Won’t you let me know?
Cos I’m all alone
all alone

Both:

We are dreaming about Lhuna
The smell of her
The touch and the taste of her
dreaming about Lhuna
Her and me, simultaneously
Her and me, effortlessly
oh her and me effortlessly

Nothing to report

2009-01-07T10:57:00.001-08:00

So really nothing interesting has happened over the last two days. My heel feels a bit better and the floating piece of whatever that I thought was a bone spur is no longer floating...Do they ever just go back in? I have had the last two days off and have ran some errands including getting a memory card reader from Best Buy so that I can upload the wedding pics among others. Hope everyone has a great day, I'm off to get Pho and go to work!

B

Resolutions

2009-01-05T08:55:00.000-08:00

I have spent the last couple days, when I have not been busy with work, bachelor parties, weddings etc. compiling a short list of resolutions that I would like to make for a better 2009. Some of them are realistic, some are not realistic and some of them have already been tossed out the window. I have characterized them as the "Good(likely to be followed)" the "Bad(fat chance)" and the "Ugly(ooops, too late)".

Enjoy!

THE GOOD(Highly Likely)

1. I want to get in shape. Since returning from China I have lost 26Lbs via watching what I eat and 4-5 times a week gym trips. Those of you who have seen me before may notice, but on a 6'4" frame 26 Lbs is not a lot. I weigh in at 182Lbs right now and would like to stay there, while reducing my body fat % which I assume is about 346%. Meech and I got a kick out of a show on LOGO called Rick and Steve, where they referred to someone as being "Skinny Fat". We decided that we were both "Skinny Fat". We chuckled and then got depressed, haha. I resolve to maintain my gym schedule and have the necessary yet gay cliche six pack by the end of February.

2. I have had a history of getting myself into trouble when drunk. Nothing too serious, since the 1st(and only) annual "Gobble-de-Gook Sprint(if you don't know, ask someone from Davis)". However I have, over the last year, developed a nasty habit of Drunk texting/calling/e-mailing that has gotten me into trouble, a lot. I need help on this one. If we are all laughing/happy/drunk and I am on my phone in a corner someone intervene!! Do me a favor and rip it out of my hands. I resolve to no longer bury myself in my phone when I have been imbibing...

3. I want spend more quality time with friends. I have a couple friends up here, some new some old. When I hang out with those friends I get Euphoric. I am a happier person and feel like I am on top of the world. I don't know why I am like this, maybe I just subconsciously seek their approval, but whatever. All I know is that being around this handful of people is better than any high I have ever had. I resolve to allow my friendships to blossom at their own speed, and to take advantage of the time I have with this handful of people.

THE BAD(A Tad Bit Less Likely)

1. I would like to cut alcohol, or at least most of it out of my diet and budget. At $14/drink for a drink with 3-4 ounces of booze, The abbey is a bad influence on my waistline and my budget. The Abbey among others is a perfect example of an opportunistic merchant. Gays tend to be depressed, therefore they drink. They also tend to have disposable income and actually budget for weekly alcohol expenses. Most of the time this budget allowance comes out of the food fund. Who needs to eat when you can be on a diet of Methamphetamine, Camel Lights and Vodka. No wonder thay are all so skinny! I'm glad I'm not THAT gay...I resolve to not spend more than $20 a night when I go out and to not go out more than twice weekly maximum.

2. I would like to get my own place, or at least my own bedroom. David Just got a sweet deal last week on a place in my neighborhood, and it is definitely within reach. I love my living situation right now, roomies are great, rent is fairly cheap, but realistically, nothing beats having your own room. This is where the second job comes in. With a second job my options will expand greatly. I resolve to put myself in the position to find my own room within by April.

3. I would like to get a second job. I am not bored with the one that I have, in fact I really do enjoy it, however, I need to take advantage of the fact that I have lots of free time and no one or nothing to really spend it on or with. David had suggested that I get a hobby. But hobbies are expensive. Therefore a second job, maybe bartending 10-20 hours a week would be lovely. I resolve to make a valid effort to seek out additional employment.

4. This goes hand in hand with the one about staying in shape. I would love to spoil my body. This means weekly massage and steam room trips 4-5 times a week. I have access to the massage at work and I have access to the steam at Toppers. I just need to stop coming up with excuses on why I cannot treat myself more often. I resolve to take advantage of the benefits that I have.

THE UGLY(Probably Already Broken)

1. I drive too fast. I have always driven too fast. I might continue to drive too fast. If the freeway is empty and it is late at night, I have no qualms about getting from point A to B at 100mph. I know it is stupid, but the risk is low. If I am tired or there are other cars on the road, I sit in the mid lanes at 70mph. I do not drive recklessly with other people in my car. When there is someone else in my car, they are my responsibility. Timmy got into a fender bender recently and has since then put a sign in his car that reads "Slow Down!" The reason that this is an "Ugly" resolution is because it has already been broken multiple times. I drive like a maniac, and every time I don't consciously think about slowing down, I look at my speedometer and see lots of big numbers...

2. This applies to #2 in the "Good" resolution section. I have already sent out a couple of idiotic emails, texts and voicemails. The reason that I put this up there and down here is because I'd like to characterize this as something completely different. I belong to a club, and I am the only member. I am the President of DCA, the Drunk Communicators Anonymous. I have fallen off the wagon a few times already and will most likely continue, but I just gotta get back on the wagon! haha
NO MORE DRUNK COMMUNICATIONS!

THE UGLIER(Not a Snowballs Chance in Hell)

1. I would like to think I could stop getting into "Skirmishes" with the elderly, seeing as how I went to the gym this morning and could barely walk on my "'Geriatrically' Assaulted" heels. But this one is out of my control. I have so far been called a "queer" by "Father Time" at Trader Joe's in West Hollywood, A "Big Bald Asshole" by this salt and peppered nut job on Santa Monica, and my most recent run-in with this Yiddish squawking crow at Walgreens. And this is all since the beginning of September!!! I think this one is really out of my hands. I need to wear a shirt that says "I karate chop the elderly" for intimidation purposes.

Oh and speaking of "Walgreens Hussy", I wrote the story and got 14 texts messages from friends who read it say things like, and I quote, "I totally though you would have kcked(sp) the old biddy's ass" and "I could just see you knocking her in the face with your gallon of milk" and, my personal favorite "...i imagine you had a VERY tough decision to make there...there's something about clocking the battleaxe that would be severely satisfying..." REALLY??? Do I come across as the kind of person that smacks around the youth challenged? I hope not...Hope y'all have a lovely Monday. I'm out...

If I can think of anymore I will post them. Anyone else have any fun resolutions?

White Devil...

2009-01-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

A few reasons why I love my neighborhood...

I went to the gym at 7AM today and did my usual routine but added in some additional cardio. I tried adding 15 minutes onto the stair climber in addition to my usual 25 on the bike and 20 on the elliptical. My legs were shaky and already sore and I was a bit irritable. As I am driving back on Pico at about 9:15, two cars are stopped at the red light. They two people, a middle-aged man and an older woman were talking. The light turned green...They continued to talk...I waited a solid 4 seconds and then, in Los Angeles fashion rolled down my window, laid on my horn and screamed "Green Light Idiot." The woman in front of me rolls her window down, and signals me to go around...REALLY??? So I gassed it unnecessarily and whipped around her with my horn going the whole time...The nerve...

I got back to my place, parked and walked next door to Walgreens to get some goodies. Skim Milk, Crest Vivid White Toothpaste, Crest Whitening Weekly paste, and Roc Salicylic Acid Skin Cleanser...What...I'm gay...Its acceptable. So I am standing in line with my fabulous purchases when I get rear-ended, in a bad way, in the ankles by a shopping cart. I turn around and am instantly mortified...She looked deep into my eyes, my soul was exposed, my hands full, may nerves unraveling...It was the "Road Block" from earlier, and you bet your ass she knew who I was too. I turned back around and waited for it to hit me like a ton of bricks. And it did.

Artists Rendering...

She pushed her shopping cart hard into my ankles...My eyes welled up, I have bruises on my Achillies Tendon now. She hits me a third time, that's it, one more time and I'm doing 35-Life for premeditated genocide...She waited for a bit...Let the line move up, took aim, and fired. She hit me so hard with her cart the fourth time I bumped into the guy in front of me. I turned around and in a big, deep, loud, "straight" voice (I figured embarrassing her would make her back off, wrong)I said, "Excuse Ma'am, please watch my ankles. She smirked at me. I was getting my ass kicked by a 65 year old woman, whose basket was full of Werthers Originals, Depends and Ace Bandages. I finally got out of her way, and got up to the register. I was about to cry from the pain at this point, and everyone in the stupid store, which was uncharacteristically crowded, was staring at me, begging me to cry, they wanted to see some action, but there was none to be had.

I paid for my goodies, which we the only things keeping me from curling up on the floor and crying in agony...Again, I get excited by teeth whitening products...As I was walking out she yelled across the store, Meshuga Goy...Had no idea what it meant, so I turned around and did what any self-respecting grown man would do after receiving the beat down of his life from an Estelle Getty Wannabe...I stuck my tongue out at her and made face.

I looked up Meshuga Goy and found it to be Yiddish for Crazy Gentile...Wow, she is perceptive, I am usually mistaken for a Jewish man in this neighborhood.

My ankles are on fire along with the rest of my legs and my spirit is tarnished like cheap silver. But I must move on...After all, I have teeth whitening toothpaste now!!!

"Mae-wedge"

2009-01-03T20:38:00.000-08:00

If anyone can tell me where post title comes from, you get bonus points. Today was my brothers wedding. so of course the last few days involved quite a bit of debauchery!

I drove down to San Diego on New years day and started getting ready for my brother bachelor party. It was nothing too elaborate, just all the guys over for booze, poker and some good times...

I was so tired when I woke up yesterday, that I almost slept through rehearsal. Showed up a couple minutes late, ran through the motions. Left the church and raced home to meet Jefferson who came down from LA for the wedding and was waiting at my parents place. We ate, socialized drank more and I finally was in bed at around 11 or so. No, 11 is not that late, but I was hurting really bad from the last 4 late nights.

I showed up to the church this morning, late, and got all ready. We took a ton of pics which I will be posting on my myspace soon, and then we were off to the races. During the ceremony, there was hard found a dry eye in the crowd. Towards the end, they did a unity candle along with a separate for my grandfather who passed 1 year and 6 days ago, and Allyson's younger sister Ashleigh who passed in the Paradise fire on October 26th, 2003. I lost it and started tearing up. I looked down at my grandma and she was blotting her eyes. So sad, but there was so much good happening everything was okay...

The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch. The only other responsibility I had was to deliver the best man's toast. I procrastinated and did not write anything until the last minute. Friday afternoon, I E-mailed David a REALLY rough copy, and asked if he had any suggestions. He offered up a couple of awesome anecdotes, and the speech went really well. The two parts that David suggested I add were received well, and got some pretty hearty laughs! Thanks D.

I just got back to LA tonight and am now looking for something to do. I was exhausted earlier, but am now kinda bored and not too tired.

Oh, and for my San Diegans... How about them Chargers?!?!?!

New Years Eve...

2009-01-02T11:52:00.000-08:00

So I am not sure how many of you have been on the edge of your seat waiting for this, but here it is...My partial recollection of what I think I remember happening on Wednesday night/Thursday Morning.

My day started off with cotton mouth and a headache. I woke up at David and Richards place, sleeping on a 4 foot long love seat. From what I recollect, it was comfy...But that's not important. I went home to get cleaned up and headed back to David's to pick up the boys up for a shopping trip of mammoth proportions. I already wrote about this in more detail in my previous blog...

As far as NYE goes, I met with David and Richard at about 8PM or so. We had a quick beverage and headed out. Our first stop was Phil and RD's casa. I had never been there before and was looking forward to getting to know some of these new folks that I have kinda met throughout the last year or two. It took David about 10 minutes to start calling for shots. I made a batch of "Holiday Cheer" and tray passed them like the Bartender I once was. We grabbed a few more drinks, socialized and then headed out around 10:15 to another party. We had a couple more beverages and then decided to go to the Abbey.

The line was roughly 100 people deep and it was not moving. I was lucky enough to have pulled some strings earlier and we got to go in the back door. A special thanks to Jesse and Dana! You guys rock! So we got in in time for the countdown. I was sauced and feeling daring...In my drunken ineptitude(or brilliance depending on your point of view) I leaned in and asked David for a New Years Eve Kiss, and JACKPOT!

I was a bit weary about not really having plans for NYE, but it all ended up well.

I had a fantastic night and look forward to many more with my new found amigos!

The last couple days...and NYE

2008-12-31T16:35:00.000-08:00

So the last couple days have been weird, emotionally at least. I finnally have a glut of days off and am going to enjoy them. Last night, David took me to MJ's for my first time with Richard and Ron. I had soooo much fun. I was teasing David about his nickname shots on the way over, and he was laughing and shrugging it off. We walked in and made a Bee-Line for the bar, when, what does David do but order 3 double shots of Kettle One, and the first round of drinks...Thanks David!!! I helped him and Richard move yesterday for maybe 90 minutes at the most, and I got 4 or 5 drinks and a meal out of it! Sweet!! Such a nice guy, hahaa.

Today, David, Richard and I set out on a mission of shopping proportions. That started off at Ikea and Ended with Costco. They essentially bought everything that someone would need in a household to survive...I bought Ravioli...David was being pretty Entertaining. We ate at Ikea, in this new pseudo-gourmet kitchen thing they have. He consumed 14 meatballs and within 90 minutes we were at Costco getting hot dogs and Ice cream. After eating we went inside where he managed to get 1 of ever sample in the store, and then on the way home said, "I'm getting Kinda Hungry." I have never met anyone, other than maybe Sean Scott, who eats more, faster than I do! I think I have met my match...

Tonight should be fun, I think we are going to go to Phil's for a bit, then Chris's and then a special secret destination that no one not involved is to know about...sorry all...Hahaha. If you know then you are involved if not, then you're not. Photos to follow...

Just a quick one

2008-12-30T00:10:00.000-08:00

I have been home from work now for a few hours and have been thinking about some fond memories. I remember when my brother and I were 10 and 12 years old +/- a couple years. We would always go swimming at my grandparents. My grandpa always used to yell at us, NO PEEING IN MY POOL! Then he would call us over with a sample of pool water. He has a little bottle of magic elixir that told him which one of us had peed in the pool, if the water turned red, it was my brother, blue, me. We were so stupid back then, not realizing that he had a blue and red bottle of food coloring. We were both guilty of using the pool potty, but would not admit it. So when the water turned blue or red, we knew we were busted! Ohhh the Trickery!

The other memory was for Thanksgiving about 15 years ago. I reached across the table and grabbed a dinner roll with my hand. He watched me do it, looked at me and said "You want some mashed Potatoes too?" and used his bare hand grabbed a "handful" of mashed potatoes and plopped them onto my plate...It was legendary...

Miss you already Papa, can't believe its been a year...

Football, Days off, Shave Cream, Alcohol and a creepy old man...

2008-12-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

My gays may wanna skip the first paragraph, It has been translated into "straight talk"...

First off, Congrats to my Football Chargers. And yes some gays like football for something other than the Tight Ends...hmmm...yeah...Anyways, My Chargers spanked, no, embarrassed the Denver Donkeys last night, 52-21 including a 4th and 1 touchdown run that was no unnecessary it made me laugh. The cameras panned in on Jay Cutler (Denver's Quarterback the one who throws the ball for you gays) towards the end of the game when the chargers were up 45-13 and Cutler mouthed, "I can't believe this, Wow." Yeah Jay, you just got spanked by a team that was 4-8 4 weeks ago. Don't worry, I'm sure the Chargers will send you a post card from Tampa Bay come February...

My next topic is Days Off...OF which I have not had in three days and will not have for another 3 days...Boo. I think I am going to take Sundays off from now on in order to spend them with important people and to be able to once again enjoy the Gendarmerie...I miss my spa-folk..

Shave Cream... For those of you that shave, guys and one or two of you girls...I would like to take this time to pitch a fantastic product. My friend Friend Topper is the owner/founder/creator of Gendarme Fragrances which are incredible! He just had a new formula created for a shave cream that is hands down the best I have ever tried. Better than Kiehls, better than Zirh, better than Anthony. In fact if our lord and savior Jesus H. Christ made shave cream, it would pail in comparison. Its a bit pricey($15.00 for a 4oz bottle is a 2-3 month supply), but a tiny bit goes a really long way! Buy it at www.gendarme.com send Topper an e-mail letting him know how much you love it and that I sent you! Topper@gendarme.com

Thricely...I do love alcohol. Mostly the affect it has on other people. It is a very well-known fact that the gays love their alcohol. Many have disposable income that fuels the drug and alcohol trade. While I don't partake in the drug aspect of things, I do take a stance that what you want to do to your body is 100% your choice, because it is just that...A Choice and Your Body. I do however enjoy 1 or 4 Vodka Sodas when I get out. I like how people are real, say what they feel, straight forward and to the point when they drink. Liquid courage is what I call it. I came out to my mom on the phone on September 18th, 2005 at 10:15 in the morning when I was loaded. It was week 2 of the football season and the Chargers were playing the Broncos, so i had a bit to drink. The moral of the story, is a carefree attitude comes along with the a couple beverages. So my point is, I cannot wait for next weekend to get out and socialize!

Finally, Creepy old men...I'm not sure how to feel about this one. I went to the gym this morning and was lifting weights when an old guy--now I'm not good with estimating age, but i would presume he was in his mid 130's--came up to me and stood there. I was doing independent dumb bell presses and I thought maybe he wanted to use the bench. I pulled out my ear buds sat up and said, "You need the bench?" He said, "No I am just impressed that a guy as thin as you can lift that much weight"...WTF? If I were pressing 80 Lbs per arm, I would be flattered, but, I was not. I think I was lifting 45 at that point. Generally women and twelve year old children lift 45 to warm up. So I was kinda pissed. Am I that frigging skinny that people are impressed when I can lift my arms above my head??? I wanted to turn around and tell "Mr. Burns", "Here, Catch! and throw my 45 Lb weight at him. Then I realized I was probably too weak to throw my dumb bell more than 2 feet or so. God damn it...

David is coming back form Texas today. I am looking forward to hanging out with him soon. He is a lot of fun! Can't wait, well, time to get ready for work, Happy Monday everyone!

Brandon

The Weekend Wrap-Up

2008-12-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

I got back to Los Angeles on Friday morning, and promptly went to work. Lame. It was ok though, something exciting was-a-brewin' for Friday night. I was going to go to Rage! I always felt like I was not allowed to go to Rage due to past relationships and other safety concerns, but I finally decided to go. Nareth had invited me and I jumped at the bit. Conveniently and by complete coincidence, it was "asian night" at Rage. Hmmm, funny how things work out.

We got to Rage at 9:15 or so and got some drinks. $5.00 drinks all night, can't beat it! As I was looking around, I came to the realization that I have met/chatted/hit on roughly 75% of the guys in the bar...My question is, does this make me whorish, or just a tease, seeing that I have not actually met any of them. Thoughts? Comments? Oh Well, I am just going to call myself outgoing! Which is what I was that night. I rubbed a bald guys head and asked him for head shaving tips, I got the number of the doorman who was really good looking, played staring games with a couple people partially to just because i wanted to and partially to make them feel uncomfortable. It was a blast.

After my headache went away at 5PM on Saturday, I left work and headed home with no plans. Timothy had texted me to see if anything was happening. His guy friend had apparently ditched him to go to San Diego, and so I said im up for it. I cooked some dinner (Homemade wontons, and Brown Sugar Fried Eggplant) and got all cleaned up and left to Pick of T-Fong at about 9:00. We got to the bars at 10 and went to trunks. Trunks is an interesting place. For you Escondidians, it is much like pounders. A dear friend of mine, Thomas "Jesus Christ" Nolan once referred to Pounders as "The Star Wars Bar", simply because of its patros very creaturous and alien-like appearance. Trunks is not nearly as bad as pounders, but there are some similarities. Either way, the beverages are cheap and the music is loud. Timothy and I walked in and the whole bar turned to look at us...it was weird. Tim said "What the fuck is everyone looking at?" and I habitually checked my zipper...Turns out nothing was wrong, people are just rude. We had a quick drink, chatted for a bit and then left.

Fiesta was next in line. They do a 2-for-1 drink special every single day, all day sans 8-10:30 PM. So we got a couple beverages there and found a heat lamp and proceeded to stalk "Leather Guy". Well T-fong did, I just watched. The wrost part was he absolutely knew that we were stalking him, but, hey, when you are at Fiesta, it happens. As we were leaving I saw "The Santos" and his gaggle of gays, don't remember their names, but they seemed really nice.

We then headed to the Abbey, the one place we said we were not going to go. But when we were walking by Dana, the greatest host ever, was at the exit and told us to come in the back door and to not wait in line. That was the first privilage that I have gotten at the Abbey due to John since he left in July! Sweet! Thanks Meech!

We walked around, it sucked, I saw Tom, he ignored me, we left. Got some Jack-in-the-Box on the way home, dropped Timothy off, and went to bed. The end.

Last night...

2008-12-26T14:51:00.001-08:00

So I had a fantastic Xmas yesterday. I did not really get anything of note and it was a beautiful thing. For the first time in I don't know how long, I was content doing nothing. My grandparents came over and we had a nice prime rib and just talked. It was fantastic, my grandpa and I talked about the Lakers, the Chargers, politics and life. My grandma and I were boozing it! I'm not a big Sauv Blanc fan, but it was strangely satisfying imbibing with the grandma, especially after the first glass when she was already dropping ice all over the floor.

Dinner was delicious and at about 7:30 the old-folks left and I went out to play. Padraic and Jordan dropped by to pick me up. We were off to our annual Christmas Day Casino trip. We went to Ryan's house had an orgasmic vodka soda, said hellot to Karen and Grandma Betty, and then headed off to pick up Chris and then onto the "Res."

Played a little blackjack, played a little poker and played a little more blackjack. I was texting with my friend earlier in the evening and asked him, if I won a bunch of money would he let me take him out to a nice restaurant for an official date? He said, yes in a round about way...I think...but anyways, I lost $70 dollars. :( I did get a big gift card from my Brother for Maggiano's. I hope he thinks Maggiano's is fancy! haha

While playing poker, Padraic came over and had a snide remark so I threatened to punch him in the throat, the dealer did not find this to be as amusing as I did, and I had to lay low. Then Padraic looks at Chris and says aloud, "Brandon is a Fussy little gay tonight isn't he?" Touche Douche, Touche... This little guy who was sitting next to me took notice and managed to follow me around for the rest of the evening. I think I managed to find the only gay on the "Res." Lucky me...

We left the casino around 2:30 and headed home. Now I am getting ready for work and am functioning off of 4 hours of sleep and a 2 hour drive back up from San Diego. I am painfully tired and still sore from the gym 3 days ago. There is no rest for the weary though, and that is just life i guess. I would not have done it any other way, and with my brother's wedding next week, it is only going to get worse. I hope you all had a bright and happy holiday break. Happy Friday and I look forward to seeing y'all out tonight!

Brandon

Xmas Eve...

2008-12-24T21:12:00.000-08:00

I left LA this AM at about 10AM and got down to SD at about noon. No traffic to speak of at all. I had an interesting drive home and was thinking about a lot of stuff. Much of which i do not normally post on this blog but probably should for your viewing pleasure. Anyways, as many of you know, my Grandpa passed away 1 year ago on the 29th, and it has been terribly hard on my grandma and my dad. That 1 year anniversary is coming up, and I feel like I need to be doing something. I got choked up on my drive down thinking about the good times we had with him.

This was the first time I had gotten that upset since last December at John's house in London. Jefferson, John and I were getting ready to go out to "Bar Code" in Vauxhall when he got an email form my Mom telling him to have me call her. I knew something was not right. My grandpa had passed. I cried. Then we went out and drank profusely. By the time the driver came to get us I could barely stand up. I did not shed a tear until I got back to the states on the January 4th.

I have a lot of pent-up emotions right now, and it is a bit stressful. I still slap on my happy face and my stupid personality everyday, and do what I do. I cannot change what happened, and can only stand in support of my grandma, who tonight was starting to get a little shaky. I will be back to LA on the 26th, and if any of my readers/friends would like to join me, I think I am going to go out on Monday night, the 29th, and have a beverage, Glenlivet 18, rocks.

On a festivities note, I had a great time tonight with the family and look forward to more family bonding tomorrow. For Xmas Eve tonight, I ended up getting some work clothes an igloo cooler, perfect for Car Bars!!! and some edible goodies. Cannot wait til tomorrow. Setting out the milk and cookies, stoking the fire, and hitting the hay! Talk at you all later!

Brandon

What I really want for Xmas...

2008-12-24T20:13:00.000-08:00

This infomercial just played on the discovery channel...It makes me want to watch Kingpin...Anyone??

All I want for Xmas...

2008-12-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

Human emotion is so inexplicable sometimes. A tiny facet of that emotion is attraction. There is really no way to explain attraction; why it exists, and why it does not. (That was an incredible use of a semi-colon by the way, hell yeah!) I do believe that attraction is primarily something that is predetermined by our genetic wiring and not by the way we were raised, or by how many bibles we have ingested by the point of puberty. So not to travel down this road too much, because it is a whole different can of worms, but I do want to talk about attraction some more. So I will, because I do what I want! haha

Attraction to me is simply enough, being able to look at someone or something and feel that sort of tingling inside. Whether it be tingling in your belly, or the occasional tingling in your loins, attraction is nothing more than that. I am a firm believer of everyone having their types. There is something about someone that makes you attracted to them. However what about those who you become inexplicably attracted to. Keith Olbermann for instance. I have a man crush on Keith Olbermann. He is not attractive, nor is he grossly tolerable. Entertaining, but obnoxiously left. What is it that causes this subconscious attraction.

I am subconsciously attracted to someone right now, and it is bizarre. Its almost an intrigue as opposed to an attraction. I want to know more, and I don't have patience to wait. This is not one of those tingling loins attractions though, simply one in which I am eager to get closer. So strange...And breeders say that its all about the sex! Screw you guys...

Oh and Russell, I hate you... Just seeing if you are keeping up with my yammerings!

Why Obama will make a good president...

2008-12-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

Booya! Man Pecs!

Hugh Jackman, who??

New beginnings...

2008-12-23T00:39:00.000-08:00

So having been single for roughly 48 days, 13 hours, 58 minutes and 15 seconds, or 4,197,495 seconds from the time of this post, and feel that I have kinda started to turn over a new leaf. At first after a break up there is that time where you simply feel the need to fill the void that has been left. And Fill the void I did. That got boring after about 2 weeks, and I started to seek friendship. I moved up here alone. I had Jefferson, whom I now, no longer have, and I had Meech, whom i still have but is in London until march. Both Nareth and Tim live their own lives and are both semi-involved with significant others right now too. So I kinda felt/feel like I am on my own. I have met a couple guys just recently, who have provided stimulating conversation, and just generally a good time. And for this I am thankful.

I got to go to a house party in the hills, and meet some new people and see some old faces, goddamn Jimmy Chen, hahaha, just kidding Jimothy! I had a blast just talking, watching and observing everyone there. Everyone was part of a clicque. I miss having a clique. That reliable group of friends that you know are ALWAYS down to do something. Meech is kinda my clique, but again he has abandoned me for the motherland. Haha.

I should have taken advantage of the situation on Saturday night and introduced myself to Nareth's and David's group of friends, but i guess was had not had enough liquid courage yet. I wanted to be loud and obnoxious and introduce myself by saying:

"Excuse me everyone, I have met you all at least once, but I am Brandon, the gay formerly known as 'John Santos's Ex', and now currently, known as 'Jeff Sheng's Ex'"

Ahhh, I find myself to be humorous...

Anywho, I told Nareth tonight, that I should have introduced myself a long time ago and that I have come to the conclusion that when I am out with someone, I pay attention to them and nothing/nobody else around me. This is a pretty ridiculous character flaw that I possess, and I need to get the hell over. I would have had a lot to fall back on when my relationship ended, if I had made the conscious effort to engage all of Nareth's friends, but instead, it has taken me almost 7 weeks to make these realizations.

I look forward to getting to know a couple of my new-found friends even more! That being said, I guess this holiday season I do have something, albeit small, to be thankful for, new friends and old friends alike! Hahaha, CHEESEY!

The Bane of my Existence...

2008-12-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

The most horrible thing that comes to my mind at any given point is not always what you'd think it is...Its not tragedy, its not "Skeletons" in the closet, its not the loss of a loved one. It's a 5'2" woman who frequents my place of employment. For the time being, she shall be known as Jean Summers. The most terrifying thing about this woman is the realization on my part that society caters to her. The pain and suffering that she instills in my being is not exclusive to my spa. She is around 140 hours a week at other establishments wreaking havoc...How do I know this, well, one of our tortuous conversations involved my being pummeled by such needless facts as, I only sleep 4 hours a day and I have a 30 pound cat. My god, it never ceases to amaze me what neurological filth spews forth from her yak hole of a mouth.

This brings me to my next point, and I do actually have one with all this...her 30 pound cat. ?!??!?!? Who in the holy hell has a 30 pound cat? The reason that she needs to have a massage so often is that her behemoth mongoloid of a feline likes to sit in her lap and it hurts her stupid legs... Hello Jean, get rid of the pestilence...I'll help, I'm not a cat person anyways...

Every time this woman comes in she leaves a trail of depression, emptyness and dead bunnies. Yes dead bunnies. Every time she speaks, a bunny, a baby bunny at that, is crushed to dead by the sole of my moral foot. She came in yesterday and in her wake, had reduced three grown men to tears. All before she got her massage. She must be stopped! Godspeed!

Artists Rendering:

2008-12-20T21:28:00.000-08:00

I have been telling people about this stupid video and I have just not been doing it justice. Pretty entertaining...

And good ole' Pastor Hagee on KO

Savino's Xmas Party

2008-12-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

I had a lot of fun last night at the Savino's up in Hidden Meadows. It was our 5th annual Xmas party and I had a blast. Delicious food, fantastic companies and repulsive sweaters!

We did a Secret Santa gift swap and I drew Laura's name...this excited me. I was going to be as creative as possible. I got her a nice little wine rack and two decent bottles of wine. The theme was "All you need for a great night" I left her with two options, The first package was titled "For a night among friends," and contained a VHS copy of "The Baby-Sitters Club" and the second was titled, "For a Night Alone," and contained a random book called, "Six Inches Deep" and a 6 inch cucumber. She laughed...So did I. My Secret Santa, Mr. Patrick Nolan, got me the perfect gift! Some fantastic cookware. I was actually thinking about buying some cookware, but now i have no need! Actually, I think I may need to buy some for one of my presents.

Had a bit of an issue with Jeff last night, and now I'm sad. I think it was alcohol fueled, but whatever it was, it got close to ruining my night. :( Anyhow, I took Rosaline and Vince as my "Dates." I think they both had a good time! Or at least I hope so. Thats my night in a nutshell. Talk to Y'all soon. Happy Holidays!

B

San Deezy...

2008-12-19T07:30:00.000-08:00

I'm heading back down to San Diego today to do xmas dinner and cook some goodies with grandma...

The last few days....

2008-12-18T12:06:00.000-08:00

So I have been pretty damn busy with the last few days, so here in no specific order or daily sequence are the events of my week, starting with last Friday.

I got out of work early picked up Russell and Kelly and booked it to Davis. Got there around 9PM, to the bars at 10PM, and back in bed at 2AM. It was entertaining. The whole point of going to Davis was for the 9th annual xmas dinner on saturday night. It was a blast, $2.00 well drinks, cant beat it! There were no fireworks this year, no proposals, bar fights or breakups. I cannot believe it has been an entire year since Sean got down on one knee, and proposed to Roxanne, who promptly said "SHUT-UP" and punched him. I love my friends. It was really nice getting to see everyone, some of whom, Kamalpal, I have not seen since the last xmas dinner. Got back on Sunday, and went straight to work! I love it!

I had dinner with one of Nareth's friends a few nights ago. He is adorable. Really nice kid. We watched that sub-par Diane Lane movie, Untraceable. It was not a great movie, but was entertaining. I made Chicken Adobo and Stewed Greens(Bok Choy, Watercress, Garlic, Spinach, Kale and Sprouts) for dinner. He said he liked it, and I really hope he did. Before dinner, we went to Borders to find a couple books as presents, and JACKPOT! We kicked ass...Great book deals. And yes, I am at that point in my life where I get excited over saving a few bucks. I would definitely like to see him again. He seems like a really fun guy. :)

Also played racquetball this week with Jeff and Spencer. I pretty much got my ass kicked all over the floor in all 5 games, 2 vs. Spencer and the last 3 with Jeff. But it was a blast.

Met Timothy Fong in Brentwood last night and had dinner at a cool little Italian Place. It was nice to catch up with him. I had not really had a good heart to heart with anyone recently and I definitely needed it. We got a coffee at Starbeezie's after dinner and just chatted for a bit about life in general, relationships, friends, work, guys, cars, etc...There are a few people involved in my life who I would like to see more of, and he is one of them. He just puts me in a good mood. But yeah, that's that. Good Times.

I was driving home from Brentwood through Century City and got a phonecall from work It was Allison and Connor and they wanted me to meet them at the spa to go out for a beverage of adult origins...so i did...

We went to Trunks, where Allison managed to find a straight bartender. Wait it gets better...He was really good looking and had his mouth wired shut due to a broken jaw! A hot straight guy who cannot talk! Perfect, they exchanged numbers and we walked over to Fiesta. It was pretty dead, but low and behold, they were setting up karaoke! Sweet! Needless to say, after a few drinks, this is the result...

Connor is rapping random verses to Billy Jean and Allison is, at this point, slurring made-up words. It was fun! On a side note. There were two guys who were just obnoxiously attractive and all i could muster was, "I like your scarf" to one of them, and ask the other one's friend what his name was. When you make futile attempts like that, you just have to laugh at yourself... The End

Wish List...

2008-12-15T12:33:00.001-08:00

Its growing, but here is what I have so far!!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/3IIUHFSVV6VL0/ref=cm_wl_rlist_go?ie=UTF8&sort=date-added&layout=standard

The MOST ridiculous night ever...

2008-12-11T19:44:00.000-08:00

I am not going to go in to great detail on my blog, because this is a fairly sensitive subject, and further consequences and repercussions may be imminent...Written evidence and documentation are a bad idea...So if you want to know what happened, just ask, and I will act it out for you! Lets just say, I fell asleep in my bed, shivering out of fear clutching a utility knife...and not really certain what was going to happen. Sooooooo...

After 3 hours of sleep and a nauseous feeling that truthfully is still lingering, I got to work and am here now. One of my favorite therapists, Erin is trying to improve on her Deep Tissue techniques so Gwen, one of my other favorite female therapists, and lead therapist was teaching her. So I volunteered to be the "Stunt Man." The wolrd of massage can be dangerous, but hey "Free Massage" is my middle name. I just got out of the massage and am feeling much better. My nerves are calm, my body is relaxed and I have two of my best friends coming up meeting me at my place for a relaxing night at Jeff's new place. It could be worse, after last night, i could be dead...Then I'd really be useless...I am getting off of work tomorrow at 2PM and heading to D-town! Can't wait to see all those ass holes up there. I am single and might want to pretend to be straight...Look out ladies! ;-)

B

Interesting for the nerdy types...

2008-12-10T22:30:00.000-08:00

This video is hosted by my sister Allyson who was badly burned in the Paradise fire in 2003. Allyson spearheads an education foundation in the name of sister Ashleigh, who died in that fire...She is assisting her doctor in getting the word out about the benefits of aloe... Check out the cool video, its real quick. Those of you who have blogs and a decent readership--or four readers like mine--I ask that you repost this with a basic description...Thanks all!!

http://video. signonsandiego. com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=2491885&item_index=1&query=a
loe%20vera&sort=NULL

For the Gays...

2008-12-10T17:39:00.000-08:00

Here is what we are up against...Obviously its a joke...

And the John Stewart Mike Huckabee interview...

This coming weekend...

2008-12-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

First of all, I'd like to say, wow! my blog got 5 comments in one day! I was so eccstatic I pooped my pants. My first thought was, "Wow! People like me!" Then reality set in and I came to the realization that this blog focuses on me screwing up and generally being miserable...You all suck.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Kelly and Russell are heading up here tomorrow evening to hang out and then we are off to Camelot as soon as I get out of work on Friday. Its Xmas dinner time!! A time of year where everyone from our UC Davis crew, about 40-50 people get together at the Dixon moose lodge and drink until it runs down your leg. I have not seen many of these people since last years dinner, so it should be eventful. This will be the first Davis dinner that I have not had a date to...

"Back for one night only! Straight Brandon the Lady Killer!!!"

Seriously, if you are a lady, and don't have any creepy-crawlies...I'll leave it at that.

So from Friday evening to Sunday around noon, I'll be in Davis. If there is anyone out there who I have not seen in a while and will be in the area, hit me up, I am sure we'll be out on Friday evening!

Oooops, my bad, you ________ (Enter expletive here)

2008-12-09T10:39:00.001-08:00

Those of you who know me personally are aware that I am never at a loss for words. whether they have four syllables or four letters, good words bad words, skinny words fat words. Words at the wrong time words that rhyme....Ok, so that's enough of that. I am especially selective of my words around Kelly. Selective, meaning, the filthier the better. I have been trying to contact Kelly for about two weeks now. My regimen involves calling her and telling her to get off of Chris and answer her phone (usually in more descriptive wording). I even sent her a text message to "Close your legs, I can smell your_______(Insert six-letter word, beginning with "s" and ending with "natch") all the way in the kitchen.

Normally, she fires right back at me, but never a response...I called Russell to confirm her phone number was still up to date..Well, turns out I have been texting and calling an older woman in La Jolla named Cynthia...Hell points...A lot of them...

Silly, thanks Chaddah, former BFF

2008-12-08T17:40:00.002-08:00

A Gay Ole' Time!

2008-12-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

On Saturday we had our fantastically "Faboo" Xmas party. I was the sober driver so I had my six beverages fairly early. Those of you who know me, know that I am a reasonable drunk. I hold my composure, have no problem with intelligent conversation and am believable as the "Sober Asshole" who just makes fun of everyone else...That is until I push the limit. Think of it this way, going down a flight of stairs, a normal flight, except that the 7th step/drink is a 37 foot drop off. Well after three cups of gay punch and 3 shots of Jagermeister, via Byron's B-day gift, i was at the edge looking down...I was the driver though, so I began to sober up. No more booze for the rest of the party...damn responsibility wins.

We hung out at this wicked "Party Room" which looked more like a guest room at the Palace of Versaille. My first thoughts...Shits gonna be broken. But three hours later and with no damages done we went to hang out at Marcus and Harold's place for a little while and then to go dance...yes dance at the Abbey.

It was Byron, Jose, Alice, Connor, Allison and myself. Alice and I were sober, everyone else...Not particularly...So we danced, Connor was all over the place, hitting on lesbians, dry humping the floor, hands in the air a Miller Lite in each...I love that kid! We had fun, I saw a few friends, got a good workout and went home. Work the next day was surprisingly not hung over! Well done Massage Envy - Beverly Hills, y'all rock.

I got a massage last night from Ginger, our resident "Destructor of all things 'Tissue-y'." She did some lymphatic massage. I WAS congested, now my nose is running like an aspiring Kenyan, and I'm coughing up things that closely resemble scrambled snot and cat shit. Well, enjoy your breakfasts all and have a lovely day! I'm coming up to Davis this weekend for the Xmas party, you butt plugs better all be there...

A friend in need of a friend in need...

2008-12-05T18:19:00.000-08:00

I have not talked to one of my friends up here for a while, so I sent him a feeler text. A simple, "How was your Turkey Day?" would suffice. I got a response that is puzzling me. I think I want to help, I think I need to help, but im not really sure how. This friend, we'll call him "Grimace," crashed his car. When I asked if he was ok, Grimace responded with, "Yeah physically I'm fine thx. Ttyl when I feel happier." That kind of shit makes my mind race. So I just responded with "Ok, feel better bud, if you wanna talk, I have no life! Hahaha, no really, I don't have a life, sigh* Love ya buddy, g'night." I am not sure what happened, and I am really sure that it is none of my business, but I cannot help it I need to pry a bit. Hopefully, I don't annoy Grimace too much, but if I were you, I would not hold my breath...

Kinda on track...I think?

2008-12-05T10:38:00.000-08:00

This last week has been full of frustrations. Mostly frustrations over REALLY stupid things. I have been a bit restless to go do something, but all of the people who I had been hanging out with when i was with Jeff seem to not be available to do anything now. Which is fine, understandable! But when I want to go out and do something, people better pay attention to me! haha

On top of not really having anyone to go out with I have been a bit under the weather. I have been coughing up foreign objects, and my nose is running more than Prefontaine on training day. This is adding to my already obnoxious restlessness.

I have spent a decent chunk of time over at the Gendarmerie with Topper over the last few days. Its enjoyable! Something about that place is just an immediate stress relief. Long story short, the Owner, Topper is long time friends with Billy Dee Williams...also known as the only "non-white" guy in Star Wars for all you gays, or Lando Calrissian for my straight nerdy readers...Chris, Dad, etc... Anyways, last year around Xmas time my Mother-dearest and I were shopping for clothes for my London Trip and Topper called up and told us that my Mom's Peanut Brittle was famous and that Billy Dee was sitting next to him eating the entire bag...So I brought up a big bag of Brittle last week and you should have seen Topper hoarding it! Then Billy Dee walked in and Topper was like a small predator guarding its kill...Mildly entertaining...I guess you had to be there...

I am having a little movie date tonight with this handsome young fellow named Vince tonight. He's a nurse. My Mom's a Nurse. Therefore, I love Nurses. Also, my work Xmas party is tomorrow night out at Marcus and Harold's Condo downtown. It should be fun, I love my co-workers!!! That's all for now. I know there was more and I am sure I'll make amendments later. Peace!

Turkey Day...

2008-11-29T12:14:00.000-08:00

I am not in a thankful mood nor a giving mood...Well at least as far as Bank of America is concerned. Lucky for them I have friends who still do care about be even though I'm an obnoxious, liberal ass-clown (Yet another revelation I had this week).

Tuesday afternoon, I looked at my bank account balance. Now I was not expecting to see anything more than a couple hundred bucks in there, but when it told me that I was overdrafted by $6.41 I flipped out. I had been so careful, I knew how much I should have had and -$6.41 was not right. I looked a little further and saw a charge for $174.21, and $31.68 for Hustler Hollywood up on Sunset. Now if you know me, you'd know that PepBoys Auto Parts is not exactly where I choose to spend my time or money. Nor is Hustler Holywood, a store that caters to the straights. I had been fraud-ed.

I called up BofA really quick and spoke to who i needed to speak to. She put the money back in my account. I told her that I needed to use my card tomorrow for gas and she said that it was fine. Thus, I slept well...

I got out of work a bit early on Wednesday and began my trek down to San Diego. I was gonna stop and have a quick bite to eat in Irvine with Joselito :) on my way down to Escondido. I went to fill up and you'll NEVER guess what happened! DECLINED! At this point I was kinda in a panic, I had just closed my Union Bank account and consolidated everything over to one account to simplify my finances...Oooops. I called up BofA and they said that their was nothing that they could do about it and that the account had been closed due to fraudulent activity...The last time I had a fraudulent charge they did not close anything!

So I made some phone calls and could not really come to any resolution. Drastic Situations call for drastic measures...
I called Jeff.
Jeff Answered.
I explained it to Jeff.
Jeff came to a Gas Station to Fill up my car.
I said Thanks.
Jeff left angrily giving me a piece of his mind at a crowded Gas Station.
I almost Cried.
Jeff was right.

I went on my way to Escondido feeling like crap and with all the money to my name frozen because some asshole finds it necessary to screw with someone's life without consequence. We apparently are innately evil. Life is run on the honor system, especially in the age of technology that we are in now. You can get away with nearly anything and no one bats an eye. And to the person who did decide to steal from me...Well done, way to steal from someone who has less than $200.00 to their name! Hahaha, loser.

Thanksgiving dinner was delicious. I was angry at the world, but green bean casserole does wonders for a shattered heart and soul. After Dinner we went over to Ryan Arant's house for the traditional Margaritas and Pumpkin Gooey cake by way of Mother Karen. It was so good. Saw Russell, James, Ryan, Marissa, Paddy, Paul, Jordan and Richard. Good Times.

After Ryan's, Paul, Jordan, Richard, Ryan and I went over to Churchill's for a brew and an inevitable political discussion. It got heated and I got obnoxious. Paul turned to me at one point and said, "wow you got really liberal once to moved to LA, you must drive your old man nuts." Here's the problem with that, I am not really that liberal. I was just trying to be obnoxious because Paul and Jordan had been a bit tipsy. I was arguing for the sake of argument! How awful is that? So I decided to scale it back a bit. No use in pissing of the friends, I'd like to be invited to hang out again sometime! Haha.

All in all, I had a fun Turkey day. I was able to leave life behind for a day and a half and I think I really needed to do so. That's all for now.

A valid description of my emotion

2008-11-25T16:27:00.000-08:00

There's that empty feeling that plagues all of us from time to time. I have once again, as i have in the past, found this particular Moby song to be accurate in description...

He's not a Muslim, and so what if he is...

2008-11-25T09:04:00.000-08:00

I am so sick and tired of all these asshole sore losers(different than Prop 8 Sore losers, I'll explain why later) filing lawsuits regarding Barak Obama's Citizenship and religious affiliation. You know what you are? Ignoramuses, all a bunch of ignoramuses!!! You are bigots and cannot possibly fathom the fact that YOUR president elect is a black man from who spent 4 years in VERY Muslim Indonesia.

The fact that he has Muslim influence in his life terrifies you. And the only reason that it terrifies you is because you are afraid of the unknown. The only thing that the American population knows of Muslim's is that there is one radical sect out there that does not enjoy the way we live our lives...Does that make them all bad? No Stupid, it does not.

Christianity has not exactly been the most tolerant religious affiliation over time, Holocaust anyone? How many times has some sect of Christianity done something that we all look back on and go "Ooops, my bad..."?

Ok, I am off on a tangent. I got an E-mail from my Dad on Sunday stating that Philip Berg, I don't know if I am spelling his name right, but honestly who cares, he is an arrogant asshole. This man is filing a court docket with TSCOTUS to have Obama's election voided because he is not a US citizen. He has filed this same claim twice before in the last three months, and both times its been shot down...Give it up. Obama's campaign filed a copy of his Certificate of live birth 6 months ago. The argument that it is a forgery is ludicrous and has been debunked multiple times.

Berg's next inquiry is "Why are his Medical Records sealed?" Well, Dip Shit, because they are medical records...That's what they are...sealed...Everyone's are...Doctor-Patient confidentiality anyone? Is it not supposed to be uber-left communists that are to be prying into public business all "Big-Brother" style? I'm confused....

In closing I have furnished a few links that diffuse Barry-O myths...read them before you irresponsibly pass on spam mail questioning his authenticity...Just remember this "Kenyan-Muslim-Black" man has already done more with his life and for his country than anyone ever will.

That's a tough one to swallow, huh? A little black baby born of interracial divorced parents educated early on in a Muslim Nation, and raised by his grandparents is now in charge of your well-being...embrace it people, this is our first step to catching up with the rest of the world...He is YOUR President-Elect whether you like it or not.

Oh and one more thing, speaking of taboo birth places...Everyone knows that John McCain was born in Panama right? Which for my idiot readers, is not part of the US. Here are some fact-check sources...

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/citizen.asp

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthcertificate.asp

http://msgboard.snopes.com/politics/graphics/birth.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCain

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barak_Obama

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/50lies.asp

It's been awhile...

2008-11-24T17:49:00.000-08:00

A quick synopsis of all meaningful things in my life since the last post:

So since my last post, I have been verbally assaulted, hiked Runyon Canyon, Eaten at a Jewish Deli, Drank Cherry Vodka, Killed Zombies, been hit on by a client, not posted any blogs, gotten a massage and watched the "Most Talented Football Team" in America fall to 4-7...

Starting from the top, in paragraph form(All for you King)...

I got yelled at by some hippy bitch because I honked my horn at her...SHE WAS STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF SANTA MONICA BLVD AT 4PM ON THURSDAY!!! WTF? When I drove by she called me a, and I quote, "Big Bald Asshole." Really?? That's all you could come up with? I'm freakishly tall, awkwardly shaped, pasty white, gay, and BIG BALD ASSHOLE is the best you can come up with? I a not going to dignify that one with a response...

Ricky and I went Hiking in Runyon Canyon Earlier on that Thursday up into Runyon Canyon. Its really cool up there, feels like the top of the world. It was a bit smoggy, but not too bad. I look forward to doing it again.

After hiking we went to Canter's on Fairfax for a delicious French Dip, and a bowl of Matzo Ball Soup! I highly recommend Canter's if you have not already been there!!

Cherry Vodka...Surprisingly fantastic!!!

Played a video game last night that was interesting...Killed Zombie-like creatures for an hour or so...

Had a client hit on me today, she grabbed my hand, held it near her face, and said its ok sweetie, I'm not mad, smiled then left...She's cute...Problem is she is a she...who i think used to be a he, but is now a she...

Got a massage from a friend last week, it was good...

Watched/listened to the Chargers suck yesterday...The End.

Hilarious

2008-11-19T21:46:00.000-08:00

From Ricky, love it...burning crosses anyone??? Ahh, the Christian way....

https://store.afa.net/pc-10000310-11-christmas-cross.aspx

Just an update...

2008-11-19T13:48:00.001-08:00

Spent the day Hanging Out in China town with Ricky yesterday...very entertaining...we had lunch at this awesome dim sum place called Ocean Seafood. After we were done stuffing our faces we went to walk around and look at "Stuff." That's the best way to describe shit in China Town...Stuff. Bamboo plants, illegal turtles dried seahorses, and older Hispanic women trying to sell you on the holistic benefits of Chinese "Stuff." An hour later, we were at 99 Ranch Market in Van Nuys, I felt like making pho. So I bought the necessaries along with a 4 pound barrel of Kim Chi. Should suffice for a couple of weeks.

I was supposed to cook dinner for the roommates, an ongoing promise that has yet to be fulfilled...but that did not pan out so i took a road trip instead...

Later in the evening, I went down to Huntington Beach and had dinner with a friend whom I have never met but have talked to and chatted with seemingly for the beginning of time. Really cool guy, laid back, kind, level headed, just my type! haha We went and gorged at Taco Tuesday at Fred's Catina or something of the like. Delicious "Impostor Mexican Food," but it filled a temporary void! After Dinner Joselito and I took the cliche long walk on the beach and just shot the shit. I took him back to drop him off at his place and we watched a few episodes of the newest family guy season, had a good laugh, and then I vacated, because he had to work the next day. I had a quick drive home as could be imagined on the 405 at midnight, and crashed out. I awoke this morning...around noon...to the soothing sounds of Rosa's vacuum...damnit...Gotta go, time for scrabble with nareth!

I wish I were straight...

2008-11-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

Another post that might make some people a bit pissed. I am going to say it right now, I wish I were straight. Life would be so much easier if I were straight. Most heterosexuals laugh at this and shrug it off, but really, I am tired of being gay. Heterosexuals don't have to walk around watching their every moves, trying not to act too gay or too feminine. Not having to hold my breath every time I walk by a straight bar that some asshole will have an issue with my life, and now, being gay means being a lesser human...Sweet! I love it...

Home Sweet Other Home

2008-11-16T12:06:00.000-08:00

I'm in San Diego for a day and a half for the older brother's wedding shower. His fiance is a lovely Irish girl and much like the English love a good High Tea, this event is creatively titled "High Beer." I love the Irish...

I went to Kathaul's house last night for a little BBQ and Beverage and got to see the good friends. It was classic, we played a little Taboo until the neighbors were trying to figure out what all the profane screaming was about. I got home at about midnight, and did a little AIM chatting with a couple of friends and then hit the sack.

Paul anonymously (oops) told me last night that I am not really sure why the gays want to get married. You just get stripped of all your rights after you're married anyways...That made me chuckle! Kat did not think it was that funny...

The Mother is helping my make a huge pot of stew for me to freeze and eat throughout the winter. Its cooking in crock pot right now and the whole kitchen smells incredible!!!

Heading over to Leslie's house in a sec to watch the first half of the game then up to "High Beer."