Saturday, May 31, 2014
Ramble On...
What a week. Glad it's over. Never had job training before where I just physically and mentally hit a wall. Literally could not even think straight. It was a strange feeling. If I have one positive attribute that I will brag about (other than my abs, haha or ab...) it's my intelligence and ability to learn. I could not even type a sentence without having to take take a deep breath. It was nuts. But I'm glad I made it. I feel empowered and on the right path for the first time in a while. Hopefully this opportunity works out and hopefully I have found a place to exhibit my skills. :-) that's all. Good Night!!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Don't Worry, Be Happy
So this last weekend was Long Beach Pride. It was my first time going and it was a blast. I have been working really hard at getting in shape and other things as we were going to my first pool party in forever and I was not about to wear my t-shirt into the pool. haha We ended up getting held up late at practice and missed the pool party, but decided to host one of our own. Angel called up our buddy Eric and set up a damn fun get-together at Eric's place. Everyone was laying out talking, enjoying some delicious beer and music. It was a really fun crowd of people and I feel like I got to know some new people, and potentially make some new friends. We had big games on Sunday, so we did not party that late, In bed by 2ish, I think. We lost our first game which was our last chance at first place, but won the second game due to forfeit. We went back to Long Beach and laid down for a nap and did not wake up til around 7. Basically we slept through everything...Awesome. haha So we just lounged around on the couch and watched a bunch of 'gay' movies that I had never seen before. Angel is really pushing me to get my 'gay card.' It was a great weekend, and I cannot wait until we do it again.
So this weekend, our softball team will be in SF playing in a sweet-ass tournament. I was a pickup player last year and our team won the tourney, so, I guess, I am defending our title or something like that. Angel and I are heading up there on Friday and likely staying until Tuesday in the hopes of doing some touristy/romantic crap. Like a picnic at twin peaks, and maybe and Alcatraz tour. I am really excited to get away from all of this and enjoy some quality time with him. I am really excited that we are staying with my college buddy Thomas, who has graciously opened his doors for us to crash there for the weekend. Also looks Like Paul will be joining us Saturday night...we had better have late games on Sunday. haha...
Now for horribly boring self-reflection:
My mind has always worked a million miles a minute. I talk too fast and often times have to repeat myself because whatever it is that I had just spat out was a verbal vomit full of words that mesh together. I don't us the space bar when I talk. :-) My bad, its just how I am. Anyways. I need to find a way to stop thinking so much and to just calm the hell down. Its better that way. Since, I cannot walk around stoned all the time or take Xanax before work, it looks like I'm left with breathing exercises. haha.
I have got a great thing going right now. I'm very happy, have someone who cares, and am generally pleased with the way things are going. I need to relax, let whatever happens happen, and stop trying to force issues. People generally do not change unless they want to, so maybe its not worth trying to force an issue. Maybe its better just left untouched. I have no idea where I am going with this but I guess, that the whole point of this blog. Let's see how many tangents Brandon can go on in a 1,000 word post...
Anyways, I got a lot to look forward to this weekend. Also a lot to look forward to this week. Hope you all are doing well. And that concludes the most boring post I have ever written. To those who are still reading...Really? Is your life that boring? Mine is.
So this weekend, our softball team will be in SF playing in a sweet-ass tournament. I was a pickup player last year and our team won the tourney, so, I guess, I am defending our title or something like that. Angel and I are heading up there on Friday and likely staying until Tuesday in the hopes of doing some touristy/romantic crap. Like a picnic at twin peaks, and maybe and Alcatraz tour. I am really excited to get away from all of this and enjoy some quality time with him. I am really excited that we are staying with my college buddy Thomas, who has graciously opened his doors for us to crash there for the weekend. Also looks Like Paul will be joining us Saturday night...we had better have late games on Sunday. haha...
Now for horribly boring self-reflection:
My mind has always worked a million miles a minute. I talk too fast and often times have to repeat myself because whatever it is that I had just spat out was a verbal vomit full of words that mesh together. I don't us the space bar when I talk. :-) My bad, its just how I am. Anyways. I need to find a way to stop thinking so much and to just calm the hell down. Its better that way. Since, I cannot walk around stoned all the time or take Xanax before work, it looks like I'm left with breathing exercises. haha.
I have got a great thing going right now. I'm very happy, have someone who cares, and am generally pleased with the way things are going. I need to relax, let whatever happens happen, and stop trying to force issues. People generally do not change unless they want to, so maybe its not worth trying to force an issue. Maybe its better just left untouched. I have no idea where I am going with this but I guess, that the whole point of this blog. Let's see how many tangents Brandon can go on in a 1,000 word post...
Anyways, I got a lot to look forward to this weekend. Also a lot to look forward to this week. Hope you all are doing well. And that concludes the most boring post I have ever written. To those who are still reading...Really? Is your life that boring? Mine is.
Monday, May 14, 2012
A turn for the...Better? BORING!
Just bored at work, killing the last 5 minutes of my lunch break. Heading home in about 2 hours. The last time I posted it was in regards to resolutions and how god-damn stupid they are. Then in paragraph two, I made a resolution...Leave me alone, I'm a sucker for trends.
Anyways, it was not really a resolution as much as it was simply a decision to be a happier person. To enjoy what I have and not to long for what I don't. If I want something, go get it. If don't want something, discard. Simple as that. It was not until just recently that this whole realization had come to fruition. For the last 4 months or so I had kinda been casually seeing/hanging out with someone who has quickly become one of my best friends. But that was that, just hanging out. Terrified to take things to the next level for two reasons fear of rejection and also hesitancy of people in my past finding out and being hurt. Essentially, I was holding back myself from being happy because I was concerned with the feelings of someone, whom I really do not communicate with anymore. Sounds like the most ridiculous logic ever right? Well it gets worse.
In our gay-ass softball league gossip and rumors spread faster that lip herpes at White Party. People tend to know things sometimes before they even happen. Therein lies the problem. People whom I consider friends knew what was going on. Every time they asked me about it, I denied the rumors, I lied to them, and it sucked. It finally took one of my dear friends, one of the most genuine people that I know basically call me out point blank. It sucked, it hurt, but everything he said was true. I had lied to people who I consider friends to protect the feelings of someone who does not even care about me anymore. What the hell was I thinking?
Long story short, I "manned up," made the move and am now happier than I have ever been before. I have a man at my side who respects my decisions, treats me right, accepts my flaws, motivates me(not to be something else, but to be a better version of me), laughs at my horrendous jokes(even if its a fake laugh), tells me I'm cute all the time and most importantly, someone that I felt comfortable opening up to and letting all my skeletons out. He appreciates me for who I am, and sees the mistakes I have made for what they are, mistakes. No therapy required! For the first time in awhile I am excited about really getting to know someone, and not afraid of being judged. I never thought that we would have meshed as well as we do, even up until a couple months ago, it was just a crazy concept. I have always wanted a gay friend/boyfriend/partner/etc that appreciates the same things I do, basketball, beer, cars, THE PADRES hehe, video games, nerdy financial crap, etc, and I NEVER would have expected that someone to come in the package it did. :-)
I have also been taken quite a bit out of my element recently, see below. And I loved every second of it!
None of this would have happened if I did not have Larry and Jon tell me stop being such a 'fucking pussy(J)' and to 'Man the fuck up(L).' Sometimes you still need some goading to make the obviously right decisions. Anyways, that's that. There is my quarterly post. Sorry its all good news and not a post involving jail time/broken bones/fatalities/bruised ankles/etc.
Best Regards,
One Chipper Queen
Anyways, it was not really a resolution as much as it was simply a decision to be a happier person. To enjoy what I have and not to long for what I don't. If I want something, go get it. If don't want something, discard. Simple as that. It was not until just recently that this whole realization had come to fruition. For the last 4 months or so I had kinda been casually seeing/hanging out with someone who has quickly become one of my best friends. But that was that, just hanging out. Terrified to take things to the next level for two reasons fear of rejection and also hesitancy of people in my past finding out and being hurt. Essentially, I was holding back myself from being happy because I was concerned with the feelings of someone, whom I really do not communicate with anymore. Sounds like the most ridiculous logic ever right? Well it gets worse.
In our gay-ass softball league gossip and rumors spread faster that lip herpes at White Party. People tend to know things sometimes before they even happen. Therein lies the problem. People whom I consider friends knew what was going on. Every time they asked me about it, I denied the rumors, I lied to them, and it sucked. It finally took one of my dear friends, one of the most genuine people that I know basically call me out point blank. It sucked, it hurt, but everything he said was true. I had lied to people who I consider friends to protect the feelings of someone who does not even care about me anymore. What the hell was I thinking?
Long story short, I "manned up," made the move and am now happier than I have ever been before. I have a man at my side who respects my decisions, treats me right, accepts my flaws, motivates me(not to be something else, but to be a better version of me), laughs at my horrendous jokes(even if its a fake laugh), tells me I'm cute all the time and most importantly, someone that I felt comfortable opening up to and letting all my skeletons out. He appreciates me for who I am, and sees the mistakes I have made for what they are, mistakes. No therapy required! For the first time in awhile I am excited about really getting to know someone, and not afraid of being judged. I never thought that we would have meshed as well as we do, even up until a couple months ago, it was just a crazy concept. I have always wanted a gay friend/boyfriend/partner/etc that appreciates the same things I do, basketball, beer, cars, THE PADRES hehe, video games, nerdy financial crap, etc, and I NEVER would have expected that someone to come in the package it did. :-)
I have also been taken quite a bit out of my element recently, see below. And I loved every second of it!
None of this would have happened if I did not have Larry and Jon tell me stop being such a 'fucking pussy(J)' and to 'Man the fuck up(L).' Sometimes you still need some goading to make the obviously right decisions. Anyways, that's that. There is my quarterly post. Sorry its all good news and not a post involving jail time/broken bones/fatalities/bruised ankles/etc.
Best Regards,
One Chipper Queen
Saturday, January 7, 2012
I resolve to dissolve my resolutions
So in my last post I commented on how I did not really believe in the 'effect' of new years resolutions. My logic was that its just another night in your life, and unless you resolve to do something about yourself nothing will change. You are the beginning of change in your own life. Makes sense, right? Well apparently, to a lot of people it does not and that is why resolutions fail.
A study by Miller and Marlatt shows that 92% of people admit to failing their resolutions. The example I will use is getting 'fit,' since the study found that almost 50% of people listed getting in shape/eating better as their resolution. The problem is, "going to the gym" is a tainted resolution. Are you going to continue this for the rest of your life? If you stop going in 34 years, did you fail? There is no end goal. Sure you can resolve to lose 10 Lbs by June. That works. A friend of mine, Justin, said something that makes a lot of sense. He said something like, getting in shape is not just something that you do. Its something you become. Its a lifestyle, not an activity, and it starts with changing you. This can be said for a lot of things.
About a month after my relationship ended, I resolved to improve myself. I have a lot of flaws and a lot of issues to deal with. I felt that I could learn more about myself by reading and writing. Nothing in particular, reading everything from text books, to wikipedia articles, to cinematography books, and I simply wrote whatever I felt like writing. I wrote about being overcharged by the phone company, about my room being messy, about wildfires, homeless people, Masonic temples, raccoon's, BPA free water bottles, my understanding of the human psyche(that was a short one), my definition of what I want in a friend, mending bridges, why things bother me, and so on and so forth. I feel that through these stupid little writings, some of them just a basic question and some bullet point answers, I learned a lot about myself.
I came home from work yesterday to my room, which was messy, with packed up boxes and stuff that should be thrown out, and realized, this is not me anymore. My surroundings, my lifestyle, it was strange, I just did not feel at home. I felt like I was still all packed up, like in a hotel or something. So I went all 'cleaning lady' on my room, threw a ton of stuff out, unpacked things, hung curtains, put away laundry, etc, etc, etc...
I woke up this morning refreshed, with a clear head, in a clean room, with beautiful sunlight peeking in. It was amazing. I had not felt this well in months. I was happy. I realized, that I have a handful of good friends, a great roommate, a loving family, and of course my Mexican Softball Team. I should be happy, I am lucky, I don't need to resolve to do shit. I just need to live my life the way I want to live it. I am not sure why it has taken me this long to figure this out. I just need to be me. Loud, obnoxious, intrusive, fun-loving Brandon. There are things that I want to change and am working hard at, getting in shape, excelling in my classes, thriving at my job...but those are not resolutions those are simply things that I am adapting to fit my lifestyle. The Brandon Plan. Its the new hot thing. I have a gym buddy, thanks, Lar-bear, I'm enrolled in my classes, and I think I might have the coolest job ever, with the best co-workers.
I saw some old co-workers last night at a softball fundraiser and they said, you look so good, you're smiling, you look happy. Its because for the first time in seemingly forever, I am.
Enjoy your weekend!
A study by Miller and Marlatt shows that 92% of people admit to failing their resolutions. The example I will use is getting 'fit,' since the study found that almost 50% of people listed getting in shape/eating better as their resolution. The problem is, "going to the gym" is a tainted resolution. Are you going to continue this for the rest of your life? If you stop going in 34 years, did you fail? There is no end goal. Sure you can resolve to lose 10 Lbs by June. That works. A friend of mine, Justin, said something that makes a lot of sense. He said something like, getting in shape is not just something that you do. Its something you become. Its a lifestyle, not an activity, and it starts with changing you. This can be said for a lot of things.
About a month after my relationship ended, I resolved to improve myself. I have a lot of flaws and a lot of issues to deal with. I felt that I could learn more about myself by reading and writing. Nothing in particular, reading everything from text books, to wikipedia articles, to cinematography books, and I simply wrote whatever I felt like writing. I wrote about being overcharged by the phone company, about my room being messy, about wildfires, homeless people, Masonic temples, raccoon's, BPA free water bottles, my understanding of the human psyche(that was a short one), my definition of what I want in a friend, mending bridges, why things bother me, and so on and so forth. I feel that through these stupid little writings, some of them just a basic question and some bullet point answers, I learned a lot about myself.
I came home from work yesterday to my room, which was messy, with packed up boxes and stuff that should be thrown out, and realized, this is not me anymore. My surroundings, my lifestyle, it was strange, I just did not feel at home. I felt like I was still all packed up, like in a hotel or something. So I went all 'cleaning lady' on my room, threw a ton of stuff out, unpacked things, hung curtains, put away laundry, etc, etc, etc...
I woke up this morning refreshed, with a clear head, in a clean room, with beautiful sunlight peeking in. It was amazing. I had not felt this well in months. I was happy. I realized, that I have a handful of good friends, a great roommate, a loving family, and of course my Mexican Softball Team. I should be happy, I am lucky, I don't need to resolve to do shit. I just need to live my life the way I want to live it. I am not sure why it has taken me this long to figure this out. I just need to be me. Loud, obnoxious, intrusive, fun-loving Brandon. There are things that I want to change and am working hard at, getting in shape, excelling in my classes, thriving at my job...but those are not resolutions those are simply things that I am adapting to fit my lifestyle. The Brandon Plan. Its the new hot thing. I have a gym buddy, thanks, Lar-bear, I'm enrolled in my classes, and I think I might have the coolest job ever, with the best co-workers.
I saw some old co-workers last night at a softball fundraiser and they said, you look so good, you're smiling, you look happy. Its because for the first time in seemingly forever, I am.
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The 'new' year...
All I have seen on facebook the last couple of days are people posting "thank god 2011 is over", "2011 sucked," "2011 this and that, and a sack of nuts."
Well...I'm pretty sure 2012 is not going to change anything. Your life is still gonna suck, you are still going to be in the rat race and your still going to wake up every morning wishing this year was over...UNLESS...you decide to make the effort to change things. Shits not going to change just because you get to open your new cool desk calendar. Its only going to change because you make it change. The date is really just a trivial number that means NOTHING in the long run. Most of 2011 was enjoyable for me. The last three months have been really turbulent. I don't let on much, but I am really down right now. I try to keep the cheery disposition and try to enjoy what I can, but its really hard.
I caught myself saying "Thank God 2011 is over!" Then I started thinking, I'm not just going to wake up on Sunday and magically be out of this funk. It just does not happen that way. I have tried really hard to go out and make new friends and avoid the negatives that come with living 500 feet from boys town. And I think I have. I have met a few new people in the last 2 months and little do they know, they have made a huge impact in my life. Most importantly for me is that I have met these people on my own accord. I met them through other friends. Look at this bitch network! I have only made about 5 trips to the bars(1 for a birthday, 1 with Padraic and Kelly, 2 for fundraisers and I'm sure there was another one), which for me is mind-boggling.
Come Sunday, it will be the start of a new year, and a new me as well. I'm not going to say resolution because those always fail. I am simply going to say, that I want to be happy, and I know what I need to do to be happy. So I am just going to do it. Its not a dramatic lifestyle change or anything, its simply taking control of your emotions and disposition. Controlling your destiny sounds wild and dramatic, so I won't got that far, but you get the idea. One of my favorite quotes was by Lil' Wayne or something, "Be the Change you want to see in the world." Its about time that I become proactive in my life and stop letting the last 3 months get me down. I need to stop questioning whether or not I/we made the right decision, because every time I do, regret sets in, and that only holds you back. Decisions are made for a reason and are generally based on assumptions that something will either work or not work. Some are good, some are bad. But there is nothing you can to change it other than move on, and move on I shall. I will be happy, and that's all that matters, because I am the most important person in my world.
That being said, I hope you all have an absolutely amazing (AND SAFE) New Years Eve.
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi
Well...I'm pretty sure 2012 is not going to change anything. Your life is still gonna suck, you are still going to be in the rat race and your still going to wake up every morning wishing this year was over...UNLESS...you decide to make the effort to change things. Shits not going to change just because you get to open your new cool desk calendar. Its only going to change because you make it change. The date is really just a trivial number that means NOTHING in the long run. Most of 2011 was enjoyable for me. The last three months have been really turbulent. I don't let on much, but I am really down right now. I try to keep the cheery disposition and try to enjoy what I can, but its really hard.
I caught myself saying "Thank God 2011 is over!" Then I started thinking, I'm not just going to wake up on Sunday and magically be out of this funk. It just does not happen that way. I have tried really hard to go out and make new friends and avoid the negatives that come with living 500 feet from boys town. And I think I have. I have met a few new people in the last 2 months and little do they know, they have made a huge impact in my life. Most importantly for me is that I have met these people on my own accord. I met them through other friends. Look at this bitch network! I have only made about 5 trips to the bars(1 for a birthday, 1 with Padraic and Kelly, 2 for fundraisers and I'm sure there was another one), which for me is mind-boggling.
Come Sunday, it will be the start of a new year, and a new me as well. I'm not going to say resolution because those always fail. I am simply going to say, that I want to be happy, and I know what I need to do to be happy. So I am just going to do it. Its not a dramatic lifestyle change or anything, its simply taking control of your emotions and disposition. Controlling your destiny sounds wild and dramatic, so I won't got that far, but you get the idea. One of my favorite quotes was by Lil' Wayne or something, "Be the Change you want to see in the world." Its about time that I become proactive in my life and stop letting the last 3 months get me down. I need to stop questioning whether or not I/we made the right decision, because every time I do, regret sets in, and that only holds you back. Decisions are made for a reason and are generally based on assumptions that something will either work or not work. Some are good, some are bad. But there is nothing you can to change it other than move on, and move on I shall. I will be happy, and that's all that matters, because I am the most important person in my world.
That being said, I hope you all have an absolutely amazing (AND SAFE) New Years Eve.
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sister Bandits
Yesterday was the third week in a seemingly abbreviated softball season. We played really well, won both of our games and are now tied for first place. This season has been a good one. We lost our first game a few weeks ago and have not lost since. Five straight wins. I attribute a lot of it to the camaraderie and chemistry that the team has. We are all having fun. Fun at practice, fun during the games, fun at fundraisers, and on and on. Everyone on the team has a thick skin and really knows how to have fun, the nicknames, the inside stories...Jesus I need a translator...
Saturday after practice, Angel suggested that we get some Michelada's at this place called Mi Lupita in Long Beach, sounds good to me! had a couple of those and then headed out to meet Laaaaaarrry at the Mineshaft. Cute name for a gay bar right? Almost as good as "The Black Hole" or "Desperation." So anyways, Angel's roommies, Jose and Frank joined us along with their friend Eric. We played some pool, drank some drinks, got kicked outta Paradise Cafe, almost got kicked out of Chili's, watched a scary movie, donkey punched a hooker, balanced the federal budget and really had a great time. I am pretty sure I am now an honorary citizen of Long Beach, but I can't guarantee anything. I am thinking that Saturdays in LB with Larry, Angel and Chelada's might have to become a repeat offense. Happy Monday scrubs. :-)
Saturday after practice, Angel suggested that we get some Michelada's at this place called Mi Lupita in Long Beach, sounds good to me! had a couple of those and then headed out to meet Laaaaaarrry at the Mineshaft. Cute name for a gay bar right? Almost as good as "The Black Hole" or "Desperation." So anyways, Angel's roommies, Jose and Frank joined us along with their friend Eric. We played some pool, drank some drinks, got kicked outta Paradise Cafe, almost got kicked out of Chili's, watched a scary movie, donkey punched a hooker, balanced the federal budget and really had a great time. I am pretty sure I am now an honorary citizen of Long Beach, but I can't guarantee anything. I am thinking that Saturdays in LB with Larry, Angel and Chelada's might have to become a repeat offense. Happy Monday scrubs. :-)
Friday, October 21, 2011
First post in a long time....
Had a nice chat with a dip-shit today. I LOVE mocking people, you should add him/her on facebook. :-)
Ernie Bondy Jr.:
Homosx is inborn? Sorry, There is solid scientific proof that there is no gay gene. Google it. We screwed up marriage?! Nothing screws marriage up as does the confused idea of unproductive, go nowhere homosexual marriage. What is perverted? It is homosexuality of course, but also it is to corrupt little brains by forcing homosexual beliefs down the throats of our children.Yes, this Country is in trouble, that is if you people get your way. But you won't, not with out the fight of your lives! We far right conservatives aren't going anywhere! :)
Reply · Like · 12 hours ago
Brandon Watson
Ernie Bondy Jr., You don't have to go anywhere, you can stay right where you are. Stay right there and let a beautiful, accepting, progressive world pass you by. By all means, stay there, don't stand up for the humane rights and treatment of your fellow humans. Doesn't your bible tell you that we are all children of god? Or do you read the gay/women/shellfish = abominations version...?
I am a 29 year old openly gay male living "a life of sin." This is not a choice. I am a human being. I pay my fair share of taxes, donate to charity, volunteer for organizations, vote at every election, pay my rent on time, work 40+ hours a weeks. Now what in those aforementioned things do you have a problem with? You are not college educated are you? Have ever gotten a chance to live your life? Or are you simply living a life that was designed and planned out for you by people who were born in the 40's/50's. These are all serious questions. I need to know if you are detrimental to the heterosexual children I plan to adopt one day. I need to know if I need to try and vote away your rights? Have you been married? Divorced? These are all very important things. Aren't they? I am all about protecting the sanctity and bond of marriage. Factoring in that, since gays are only allowed to legally Marry in a handful of states, and only recently might I add, I can safely assert that it is YOU people committing the sins, and defecating on the sanctity of marriage. What are y'all looking at now, about a 54% divorce rate? Wow, that's...impressive??? Hmmm...maybe not a good example...
By your logic, homosexual sex is "unproductive." Really? you tell us this now!?? We have been trying and trying and trying for years now, and no pregnancy!! You waited to tell me until now that I cannot get knocked up through anal intercourse, ugh...You people...What, then by definition is sex with a prophylactic? (Prophylactic = condom/birth control/just the tip(?), in case you needed to know) That is as well, pretty unproductive, no?
I don't know how old you are, I am going to guess(based on the jr. in your name, and the old-ish profile picture) that you are somewhere between 16-85. If I were to guess based on the ancient ideas you are spewing forth, which you undoubtedly found in the 54th reprint/translation of a thousand+ year old picture-less comic book(That's the Bible in case you missed it), I would guess on the higher end of the age spectrum. Of course you did reference "Google" too, that's kinda throwing me for a loop. I looked up information on gay genes on google, but then got sidetracked when it redirected me to gay jeans. I was then led to G-Star Raw and got the cutest pair of gay jeans ever! You should see them, they give my butt lift, it looks AMAZING. Anyways, sorry, I have the "Off on a tangent" gene as well, and sometimes, well, yeah...
The whole point of that last spiel was to make you realize that that you are a nincompoop. Yes, that is a real word. You can find anything on google. There are many more articles, a 10-1 ratio easy, that talk about the discovery of sexuality genetics. Honestly, do you think that we would choose to live this horrendous and oppressed lifestyle of shopping, sexuality, fabulousness, dancing, cocktails, style and fashion? No absolutely not! :-)
In all seriousness, you keep sitting there. Dig in for this fight. This new world that we are branching into where people are free to love one another might be moving to fast for you. I would not want you to get hurt in the process. We have to protect such antiquities as yourself. After all, you are a rare and dying breed. Now what is your home address, I wanna come over and sodomize your dad/brother/husband(eh, probably not), son...Much love, whether you want it or not...
Brandon
Still waiting on my new friends response. :-)
Ernie Bondy Jr.:
Homosx is inborn? Sorry, There is solid scientific proof that there is no gay gene. Google it. We screwed up marriage?! Nothing screws marriage up as does the confused idea of unproductive, go nowhere homosexual marriage. What is perverted? It is homosexuality of course, but also it is to corrupt little brains by forcing homosexual beliefs down the throats of our children.Yes, this Country is in trouble, that is if you people get your way. But you won't, not with out the fight of your lives! We far right conservatives aren't going anywhere! :)
Reply · Like · 12 hours ago
Brandon Watson
Ernie Bondy Jr., You don't have to go anywhere, you can stay right where you are. Stay right there and let a beautiful, accepting, progressive world pass you by. By all means, stay there, don't stand up for the humane rights and treatment of your fellow humans. Doesn't your bible tell you that we are all children of god? Or do you read the gay/women/shellfish = abominations version...?
I am a 29 year old openly gay male living "a life of sin." This is not a choice. I am a human being. I pay my fair share of taxes, donate to charity, volunteer for organizations, vote at every election, pay my rent on time, work 40+ hours a weeks. Now what in those aforementioned things do you have a problem with? You are not college educated are you? Have ever gotten a chance to live your life? Or are you simply living a life that was designed and planned out for you by people who were born in the 40's/50's. These are all serious questions. I need to know if you are detrimental to the heterosexual children I plan to adopt one day. I need to know if I need to try and vote away your rights? Have you been married? Divorced? These are all very important things. Aren't they? I am all about protecting the sanctity and bond of marriage. Factoring in that, since gays are only allowed to legally Marry in a handful of states, and only recently might I add, I can safely assert that it is YOU people committing the sins, and defecating on the sanctity of marriage. What are y'all looking at now, about a 54% divorce rate? Wow, that's...impressive??? Hmmm...maybe not a good example...
By your logic, homosexual sex is "unproductive." Really? you tell us this now!?? We have been trying and trying and trying for years now, and no pregnancy!! You waited to tell me until now that I cannot get knocked up through anal intercourse, ugh...You people...What, then by definition is sex with a prophylactic? (Prophylactic = condom/birth control/just the tip(?), in case you needed to know) That is as well, pretty unproductive, no?
I don't know how old you are, I am going to guess(based on the jr. in your name, and the old-ish profile picture) that you are somewhere between 16-85. If I were to guess based on the ancient ideas you are spewing forth, which you undoubtedly found in the 54th reprint/translation of a thousand+ year old picture-less comic book(That's the Bible in case you missed it), I would guess on the higher end of the age spectrum. Of course you did reference "Google" too, that's kinda throwing me for a loop. I looked up information on gay genes on google, but then got sidetracked when it redirected me to gay jeans. I was then led to G-Star Raw and got the cutest pair of gay jeans ever! You should see them, they give my butt lift, it looks AMAZING. Anyways, sorry, I have the "Off on a tangent" gene as well, and sometimes, well, yeah...
The whole point of that last spiel was to make you realize that that you are a nincompoop. Yes, that is a real word. You can find anything on google. There are many more articles, a 10-1 ratio easy, that talk about the discovery of sexuality genetics. Honestly, do you think that we would choose to live this horrendous and oppressed lifestyle of shopping, sexuality, fabulousness, dancing, cocktails, style and fashion? No absolutely not! :-)
In all seriousness, you keep sitting there. Dig in for this fight. This new world that we are branching into where people are free to love one another might be moving to fast for you. I would not want you to get hurt in the process. We have to protect such antiquities as yourself. After all, you are a rare and dying breed. Now what is your home address, I wanna come over and sodomize your dad/brother/husband(eh, probably not), son...Much love, whether you want it or not...
Brandon
Still waiting on my new friends response. :-)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Why the world needs more, *gulp* Roseanne Barrs
I am going to let someone else do the talking today. This was from Rosanne Barr/Arnold's blog regarding The suicide of Marie Osmond's Son Michael Bryan Osmond, who was apparently gay. All spelling errors are left in for effect...
FROM ROSEANNE'S BLOG:
marie osmonds poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it. Calling that "depression" is a lie!
Yet the Osmonds still talk lovingly about their church, saying nothing about its extremely anti-gay Crusade. Marie also has a gay daughter! Hey, I want her and all the gay kids in the world to know that they are just fine being gay and that they deserve love and respect instead of insults and rebuke! I have gay people in my family and my circle of friends and I am kicking bigot ass and taking names!
That is how its done in my religion---(I have my own religion that I made up for myself and it is a great religion that actually works and respects facts and not fantasy!)
Gerald Lund one of the ex church apostles has three gay kids himself. Yet, even though the people they say they love the most in all of their public displays and speeches (THEIR KIDS AND FAMILY!!) are gay,-- their own children,for crying out loud- these people cannot find the christian decency and compassion within themselves to stop their hypocritical gay bashing!! How sickening. I know so many mormon kids who were gay and committed suicide, and I just cannot and will not stay quiet in order to not offend bigots anymore. It is all so terribly depressing.
Marie please don't talk about how your faith in your church has helped you get through this one! Please get some integrity and tell that church of yours that you will leave it and stop giving it ten percent of your money if they don't stop trying to destroy your kids' and all gay people's civil rights and dreams and hopes!!
G-d is trying to use you for something good and this is your opportunity! Your church is wrong and on the wrong wrong wrong side of things! Get as vocal about that as you are about your diet. G-d bless you too, Marie.
Take a hard look at the facts now as you use this very sad time for introspection, healing growth and prayer, and become a strong symbol for loving mothers who make no apologies for hatred against their own kids!
And after she got some hate mail from the bigamous right, she took this down and posted a "Pseudo-Apology." Read:
I saw on the front page of a tabloid that he had killed himself because he could not handle being gay, and I wrote about how angry that made me, after seeing it hundreds of times, growing up as I did in Utah. I don't know the Osmonds, but was always offended at their constant defense of the indefensible things that their church does, the way it promotes hatred and racism and sexism, tax free.
I have known so many gay people who killed themselves, or suffered and that is why I put myself on the line to bring TV's first gay characters to America. I never intended for my comments to be picked up and broadcast on sleazy gossip TV shows, or on other blogs. That was done without my consent or knowledge.
I always intended that my remarks are directed to Power, and always on behalf of its victims. I am sorry to have hurt Marie Osmond, who is the most open minded person in her whole family. I really apologize to her. I thought about waiting to say what I had to say, but then I thought that perhaps there was no better time to add to the conversations in America about homophobia.
Alot of people know they are gay at age three, and I just feel that is why parents should keep little ones away from organizations that tell them from an early age that they are sick and going to hell and not worth the love of God. That is so vile, and a large part of the reason that I never sent my own kids to any synagogue or other religious place ever. You never know if your kids are gay, and aside from that, why would you want to take any of them to a place to learn about God, that teaches hate?
I really encourage parents to stop destroying their children by doing that. It is not good family values. Being gay is not a choice. I didn't choose to be straight anymore than my siblings chose to be gay, or we chose to be born Jews in SLC, where we were all tormented daily by hateful Mormon neighbors (not all of them were hateful, but too many were).
Anyway, I apologize again for having added to another mother's pain, and have asked myself if I should have said nothing at all, or waited a while to say what I said. I really don't know. I think it's good to get people talking about being more aware of what we accept, and i know that my comments got people talking.
The hateful letters I have received from the darkest minds of all, the religious, have made me re-think ever adding my views or my voice to anything ever again in this country. It's a scary time in America, for everybody, but especially for people like me who have a less sanitized view of all of it.
I will leave this up for a while, and then I am just done. I appreciate the letters from gay people who thank me for speaking out on their behalf, but y'all are just going to have to take up the slack I will be leaving behind me. I am old now and tired, and not really feeling up to being the only person who says things that no one else will say.
It definitely is not a good way to live my life anymore. I don't want to end up a martyr for truth. I have felt that people expect me to be loud and outspoken, and I was happy to play that role for many years. I have enjoyed being a comedian and provoking not just laughs, but thinking.
I do not appreciate being accused of using the death of a young suffering person to seek publicity. That is so vile a thought to me, and the people who say it so vile and ignorant, that I feel my absence from the public is desirable. I am done.
I again want to encourage Marie to come through this tragedy as a stronger woman who has alot of power to get bad things in the world changed, starting in her own church. I know that tragedy makes a person rethink their place in the world, and I send her all good thoughts for healing. Anyway, that's that.
And finally, some video evidence! Well, maybe not video evidence, just a cartoon! Everybody loves cartoons!
FROM ROSEANNE'S BLOG:
marie osmonds poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it. Calling that "depression" is a lie!
Yet the Osmonds still talk lovingly about their church, saying nothing about its extremely anti-gay Crusade. Marie also has a gay daughter! Hey, I want her and all the gay kids in the world to know that they are just fine being gay and that they deserve love and respect instead of insults and rebuke! I have gay people in my family and my circle of friends and I am kicking bigot ass and taking names!
That is how its done in my religion---(I have my own religion that I made up for myself and it is a great religion that actually works and respects facts and not fantasy!)
Gerald Lund one of the ex church apostles has three gay kids himself. Yet, even though the people they say they love the most in all of their public displays and speeches (THEIR KIDS AND FAMILY!!) are gay,-- their own children,for crying out loud- these people cannot find the christian decency and compassion within themselves to stop their hypocritical gay bashing!! How sickening. I know so many mormon kids who were gay and committed suicide, and I just cannot and will not stay quiet in order to not offend bigots anymore. It is all so terribly depressing.
Marie please don't talk about how your faith in your church has helped you get through this one! Please get some integrity and tell that church of yours that you will leave it and stop giving it ten percent of your money if they don't stop trying to destroy your kids' and all gay people's civil rights and dreams and hopes!!
G-d is trying to use you for something good and this is your opportunity! Your church is wrong and on the wrong wrong wrong side of things! Get as vocal about that as you are about your diet. G-d bless you too, Marie.
Take a hard look at the facts now as you use this very sad time for introspection, healing growth and prayer, and become a strong symbol for loving mothers who make no apologies for hatred against their own kids!
And after she got some hate mail from the bigamous right, she took this down and posted a "Pseudo-Apology." Read:
I saw on the front page of a tabloid that he had killed himself because he could not handle being gay, and I wrote about how angry that made me, after seeing it hundreds of times, growing up as I did in Utah. I don't know the Osmonds, but was always offended at their constant defense of the indefensible things that their church does, the way it promotes hatred and racism and sexism, tax free.
I have known so many gay people who killed themselves, or suffered and that is why I put myself on the line to bring TV's first gay characters to America. I never intended for my comments to be picked up and broadcast on sleazy gossip TV shows, or on other blogs. That was done without my consent or knowledge.
I always intended that my remarks are directed to Power, and always on behalf of its victims. I am sorry to have hurt Marie Osmond, who is the most open minded person in her whole family. I really apologize to her. I thought about waiting to say what I had to say, but then I thought that perhaps there was no better time to add to the conversations in America about homophobia.
Alot of people know they are gay at age three, and I just feel that is why parents should keep little ones away from organizations that tell them from an early age that they are sick and going to hell and not worth the love of God. That is so vile, and a large part of the reason that I never sent my own kids to any synagogue or other religious place ever. You never know if your kids are gay, and aside from that, why would you want to take any of them to a place to learn about God, that teaches hate?
I really encourage parents to stop destroying their children by doing that. It is not good family values. Being gay is not a choice. I didn't choose to be straight anymore than my siblings chose to be gay, or we chose to be born Jews in SLC, where we were all tormented daily by hateful Mormon neighbors (not all of them were hateful, but too many were).
Anyway, I apologize again for having added to another mother's pain, and have asked myself if I should have said nothing at all, or waited a while to say what I said. I really don't know. I think it's good to get people talking about being more aware of what we accept, and i know that my comments got people talking.
The hateful letters I have received from the darkest minds of all, the religious, have made me re-think ever adding my views or my voice to anything ever again in this country. It's a scary time in America, for everybody, but especially for people like me who have a less sanitized view of all of it.
I will leave this up for a while, and then I am just done. I appreciate the letters from gay people who thank me for speaking out on their behalf, but y'all are just going to have to take up the slack I will be leaving behind me. I am old now and tired, and not really feeling up to being the only person who says things that no one else will say.
It definitely is not a good way to live my life anymore. I don't want to end up a martyr for truth. I have felt that people expect me to be loud and outspoken, and I was happy to play that role for many years. I have enjoyed being a comedian and provoking not just laughs, but thinking.
I do not appreciate being accused of using the death of a young suffering person to seek publicity. That is so vile a thought to me, and the people who say it so vile and ignorant, that I feel my absence from the public is desirable. I am done.
I again want to encourage Marie to come through this tragedy as a stronger woman who has alot of power to get bad things in the world changed, starting in her own church. I know that tragedy makes a person rethink their place in the world, and I send her all good thoughts for healing. Anyway, that's that.
And finally, some video evidence! Well, maybe not video evidence, just a cartoon! Everybody loves cartoons!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Corey Haim
So Sad, of course, what makes it even worse is that it was tragically, not Glenn Beck. :-( Rest in Peace Corey Haim, I'm sure you were really good at that thing...errr...whatever it was that you...did...whenever you were famous, or...whatever, enjoy.
Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
Monday, March 8, 2010
Since I said I would...
I had decided awhile ago that I would post freaky/weird/uncomfortable videos as I found them, so here, without further ado is the needle fish. COOOOL!!!
The Rundown, or the catch-up...eh who cares.
So as can be seen by the most recent post prior to this one, I have not made a single post since late August, or a worthwhile post since, well...Lets just get to the point.
A ton of things have happened; like they tend to over a 6 month period. I lost a job, a license, a friend, a decent chunk of what little dignity I have left, respect for a handful of people, $1600 to the DMV, a little more hair from my already receding/growing scalp/forehead, my car keys (three times) and my marbles (six times). A lot of really crappy things have happened in the past year. However there have been a few good things that have kept me floating. But first the doldrums, because I know that's what you are here for.
First, I lost a job. I was "Terminated" for a violation of policy. I really cannot go much more in depth there so I will just keep it on the opinion level. My previous place of employment is owned by two men. One of them is fantastic, kind, funny, good-spirited, generous and really cares a lot about people in general-especially his employees. The other is a snobby, pompous, vengeful, vindictive, pathetic, angry, sleazy cheapskate who is all about making a dime at the sacrifice of anyone-his own mother included. I was let go for reasons that I definitely did not agree with, but in hindsight, I am glad it happened. It opened the door to a position in a great company. But as good ole' Homer said in the Iliad, "It [revenge] is sweeter far than flowing honey."
One month after losing my job I lost my license. Hmmmm, seemed like a good idea at the time...Well, now I have a roadblock in the form of a ticket that I had received back at UC Davis in 2004. Apparently, I short paid it $52.00. Now I owe the DMV a ri-god-damned-diculous amount of money- in the neighborhood of $1651.00 to $1653.00 before they will renew my license. Sigh... consequences to poor decisions tend to grow exponentially over time. A few courtesy reminders: pay your parking tickets, don't speed, don't eat yellow snow, don't drink and drive, have your animals spayed or neutered and always wear your seat belt (This is a sweet transition if I might add).
I lost a friend last Saturday, February 27th around 11AM. Sarah Rachelle Phillips, one of my really close friends for the last 4+ years was thrown from her vehicle as it rolled six or seven times after hitting a puddle and careening off the Southbound I-805/SR-15 connector. It still really has not sunk in yet and it hurts really badly. Now, I know that even though a large majority of my three readers (2?) have a penchant for sadism to my masochism, but this might even be beyond you sickos. She was a really good person with an infectious laugh and an insatiable appetite for really good beer. :-)
I have a fairly large volume of confidence in the belief that if those three things had happened in the short amount of time that they did, that most of you would be a bit screwy in the noggin. Well I'm not. No more than normal at least. I have a new man in my life. His name is Rodger. Seeing as that we have been together for 5 months on Wednesday, this was probably old news to the most of you. Anyways, he is a fantastic person. Fiery, passionate, motivational, smokin' hot and best of all, hes blind and deaf and thinks I am Justin Timberlake!! No but really, he is all that and more, sans the whole blind and deaf part. He knows me, he sees me for who I am, and he sees my flaws and does not try to fix them. He has made me realize that my last two relationships were dysfunctional and that this is how things are supposed to be. He makes me happy when everything around me and in me is sad. His dumb little smile brightens my day, and the way we communicate offers promise to a better life and existence (Sounds cult-ish huh?). OK, that's enough happy crap. I don't wanna really turn you off of my musings.
I'll try to intentionally put myself in an awkward, blog-post-worthy position in the next couple days for your enjoyment. Until then, sit back, relax and grab a beer.
Miss Princess!
A ton of things have happened; like they tend to over a 6 month period. I lost a job, a license, a friend, a decent chunk of what little dignity I have left, respect for a handful of people, $1600 to the DMV, a little more hair from my already receding/growing scalp/forehead, my car keys (three times) and my marbles (six times). A lot of really crappy things have happened in the past year. However there have been a few good things that have kept me floating. But first the doldrums, because I know that's what you are here for.
First, I lost a job. I was "Terminated" for a violation of policy. I really cannot go much more in depth there so I will just keep it on the opinion level. My previous place of employment is owned by two men. One of them is fantastic, kind, funny, good-spirited, generous and really cares a lot about people in general-especially his employees. The other is a snobby, pompous, vengeful, vindictive, pathetic, angry, sleazy cheapskate who is all about making a dime at the sacrifice of anyone-his own mother included. I was let go for reasons that I definitely did not agree with, but in hindsight, I am glad it happened. It opened the door to a position in a great company. But as good ole' Homer said in the Iliad, "It [revenge] is sweeter far than flowing honey."
One month after losing my job I lost my license. Hmmmm, seemed like a good idea at the time...Well, now I have a roadblock in the form of a ticket that I had received back at UC Davis in 2004. Apparently, I short paid it $52.00. Now I owe the DMV a ri-god-damned-diculous amount of money- in the neighborhood of $1651.00 to $1653.00 before they will renew my license. Sigh... consequences to poor decisions tend to grow exponentially over time. A few courtesy reminders: pay your parking tickets, don't speed, don't eat yellow snow, don't drink and drive, have your animals spayed or neutered and always wear your seat belt (This is a sweet transition if I might add).
I lost a friend last Saturday, February 27th around 11AM. Sarah Rachelle Phillips, one of my really close friends for the last 4+ years was thrown from her vehicle as it rolled six or seven times after hitting a puddle and careening off the Southbound I-805/SR-15 connector. It still really has not sunk in yet and it hurts really badly. Now, I know that even though a large majority of my three readers (2?) have a penchant for sadism to my masochism, but this might even be beyond you sickos. She was a really good person with an infectious laugh and an insatiable appetite for really good beer. :-)
I have a fairly large volume of confidence in the belief that if those three things had happened in the short amount of time that they did, that most of you would be a bit screwy in the noggin. Well I'm not. No more than normal at least. I have a new man in my life. His name is Rodger. Seeing as that we have been together for 5 months on Wednesday, this was probably old news to the most of you. Anyways, he is a fantastic person. Fiery, passionate, motivational, smokin' hot and best of all, hes blind and deaf and thinks I am Justin Timberlake!! No but really, he is all that and more, sans the whole blind and deaf part. He knows me, he sees me for who I am, and he sees my flaws and does not try to fix them. He has made me realize that my last two relationships were dysfunctional and that this is how things are supposed to be. He makes me happy when everything around me and in me is sad. His dumb little smile brightens my day, and the way we communicate offers promise to a better life and existence (Sounds cult-ish huh?). OK, that's enough happy crap. I don't wanna really turn you off of my musings.
I'll try to intentionally put myself in an awkward, blog-post-worthy position in the next couple days for your enjoyment. Until then, sit back, relax and grab a beer.
Miss Princess!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Its hot
It is ridiculously hot...Not like titillatingly hot, but like uncomfortable to move hot. The kind of hot that makes you feel so sorry for people stuck outside that you want to bring them an ice cold beverage...but instead your sweaty lazy ass merely sits on your sweat saturated sofa and ferments along with the rest of the people in your shanty-town apartment complex.
Some people attempt to escape the heat by going to the movies or another public place with air conditioning. The only problem with that is that you have to deal with all the other assholes and their petulant searching for the coolest seat in the theater. Here's a suggestion, try the public library. Library's are those antiquated structures that hold those old book thingys, usually close to the Central Business District of your respective towns. No one goes there anymore. Should be a good place to cool down in relative silence.
I have compiled another list of places to go when it gets hot, and benefits they offer other than cold air. If you would like to add any to the list, then you need to make your own list. This is my blog, not yours.
Without further ado:
1. Your Local Pool - If you can fight off the hoards of fatties and defecating children, this is a great place to get wet and cool down. Another perk? Hotties in Speedos, or bikinis for my breeder readers...
2. Your Local Quickie Mart - Bring a few friends and a keg tap. Slip the cashier $50 bucks and see if he will let you hang out in the beer fridge. Tap a keg, sit back an enjoy!
3. Your Local Mall - Again, if fighting crowds is your thing, then this should work for you. Added Bonus: Go to Hot Topic/Fredrick's of Hollywood etc and find yourself a nice little pair of latex booty shorts and a fishnet tank top allowing for plenty of air circulation in your otherwise moist spots. Exhibit A.
4. Your Local Nudist Colony - As many of my Facebook friends have stated today, notably Jimmy, Ethan, Greg etc. Today is as good a day as any to be naked. And why relegate yourself to being buff in your own abode? Why not get back to nature and let the ole' twig and berries get some fresh air right? Look out for peeping tom's though, or peeping Brandon's for that matter. Added Bonus: Bring attractive friends for an enjoyably scenic adventure!
5. Your Local Skin Care Formulation Corporation - Completely coat you body in Camphor, Methyl Salicylate or Eucalyptus Globulus Oil. These are highly effective especially if your friends love the smell of Vicks Vapor Rub. Added Bonus: This should remedy any kind of lingering congestion from last nights illicit drug binge that you though was a good idea at the time.
6. Your Local Ice Rink - Duh
I hope that these 6 stay cool remedies help you beat the heat! If not, then come over to my place and hang out with me, I'm pretty distant and frigid...All the time...
Some people attempt to escape the heat by going to the movies or another public place with air conditioning. The only problem with that is that you have to deal with all the other assholes and their petulant searching for the coolest seat in the theater. Here's a suggestion, try the public library. Library's are those antiquated structures that hold those old book thingys, usually close to the Central Business District of your respective towns. No one goes there anymore. Should be a good place to cool down in relative silence.
I have compiled another list of places to go when it gets hot, and benefits they offer other than cold air. If you would like to add any to the list, then you need to make your own list. This is my blog, not yours.
Without further ado:
1. Your Local Pool - If you can fight off the hoards of fatties and defecating children, this is a great place to get wet and cool down. Another perk? Hotties in Speedos, or bikinis for my breeder readers...
2. Your Local Quickie Mart - Bring a few friends and a keg tap. Slip the cashier $50 bucks and see if he will let you hang out in the beer fridge. Tap a keg, sit back an enjoy!
3. Your Local Mall - Again, if fighting crowds is your thing, then this should work for you. Added Bonus: Go to Hot Topic/Fredrick's of Hollywood etc and find yourself a nice little pair of latex booty shorts and a fishnet tank top allowing for plenty of air circulation in your otherwise moist spots. Exhibit A.
4. Your Local Nudist Colony - As many of my Facebook friends have stated today, notably Jimmy, Ethan, Greg etc. Today is as good a day as any to be naked. And why relegate yourself to being buff in your own abode? Why not get back to nature and let the ole' twig and berries get some fresh air right? Look out for peeping tom's though, or peeping Brandon's for that matter. Added Bonus: Bring attractive friends for an enjoyably scenic adventure!
5. Your Local Skin Care Formulation Corporation - Completely coat you body in Camphor, Methyl Salicylate or Eucalyptus Globulus Oil. These are highly effective especially if your friends love the smell of Vicks Vapor Rub. Added Bonus: This should remedy any kind of lingering congestion from last nights illicit drug binge that you though was a good idea at the time.
6. Your Local Ice Rink - Duh
I hope that these 6 stay cool remedies help you beat the heat! If not, then come over to my place and hang out with me, I'm pretty distant and frigid...All the time...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Did anyone sans Jason Bowers miss me?
"So it has been awhile," would be a massive understatement. I have not written since publishing my 1st annual "Eff-You List." I would love to tell you about everything that happened, but frankly, I don't really remember much of anything from mid July til around David's birthday week. Not because of anything exciting like a drug induced coma or dementia, but simply because I just really don't remember. Sooooooo, using the platform of my new favorite website, Textsfromlastnight.com I am going to use incoming and outgoing text messages to frame a storyboard for my last month of life. Its only going to be a few events/conversations, simply because anything else would bore the piss outta me. If you are offended by me using any of our text conversations, then please don't text me anymore. :-) Cheers! All spelling and grammar errors hence forth are as they appear in original context.
July 15th:
David: Have a drink for me! Hey are you going to MyHouse tomorrow for open bar? If so, if I go will you take me straight to the airport after open bar? Haha, Drinks on me :)
Brandon: Yeah, no prob
***I have the best friends, hey Brandon I'll buy you free drinks if you drive me through the airport promptly after the prospect of way too many free drinks at an open bar.***
July 18th:
Brandon: I should be out of work by 2:30. What have you got planned? Wanna sit by the pool?
Jason: Let's do it!
B: Alright, I'll bring the vodka!
J: Haha, can we do boxed wine instead? I'm trying to keep away from the hard stuff.
***In was not able to go to San Diego pride due to work, so this seemed like the most plausible thing to do on a sunday afternoon. Although there was some aftermath from the friends who did go to San Diego, namely Nareth's Drunk Ass.***
Brandon: I can't make it
Nareth: You promised brandon! Stop making exauses! I'm walking to the BBQ now.
B: I'm not making excuses and I never promise anything. I have to work at 8am tomorrow anyways
N: Dude wrtd, when u said u wwerebt going to SF pirde unsaid u will go to SD pride
B: That's before I knew I had to work this much this weekend. Btw, Kris Allen...Awful skin!!!
N: Ok whatever, have fun aT Jasons
***This is the first time that my little gay bestie was mad at me. I was soooo upset, so then Jason and I drank and ate fried chicken. Happy Pride!***
July 22nd:
This one comes from a Facebook status update:
Brandon Watson is no longer in control of his emotions. Its kinda invigorating though, it makes me feel human. It makes me feel real. It makes me feel alive again...
***Can you say Koo-Koo!!! Or if you can't hit the right pitch, just say pathetically fucking nuts.***
July 25th:
Brandon: What are you doing?
David: Nothing, getting bored thinking bout going to the gym or shopping...u still at work?
B: I'm done. Wanna go to the gym?
D: Ehh I do but I don't...but I'll go...can you come over and watch me rotate my tires first :)
***Oh yeah, that's right, that is why I can't remember what the hell I am EVER doing, my life is sooo painfully boring. "Yeah, hell yeah!! I'd love to watch you rotate your tires!!!***
July 30th
Brandon: What did you do last night?
Greg: Oh nothing at all, haha, u
B: Damn
B: I'm really not completely sure. I was hoping I saw you out last night
G: Nope, what do u mean u don't remember? Were you drunk?
B: No, I had maybe 2 drinks over 4 hours. I have been making up stories all day about what I did last night, and they are all based off of assumptions of how my Tuesday nights normally go.haha
G: Um, Today is Thursday douche...
B: Yeah thats what I meant. I think...
G: Do you really not remember last night?
B: No! I remember taking a few tylenol PM because I was not feeling well and then heading out to the abbey? Or maybe Here lounge?
G: Dumbass, I was out last night! I said Hi to you, at the Abbey with all of your coworkers. You were taking pictures, waiting for two friends next door. You should really not take Tylenol opm anymore!!!!!!1
B: Ohhhhhh yeah! now I remember! Alright, gtg, just took some tylenol PM and am heading to the dodger game with David! :-)
***You can't be addicted to Tylenol can you?***
This brings me to Friday, August 7th. The day before David's B-day. His cousin Duy was in town so we were busy bodies trying to entertain him. My dearest amigo Chris Trudell from San Diego was taking his boat out on Lake Elsinore and wanted to know if we wanted to meet him out there. So we did. We had a blast on the lake, lots of bud light and El Pollo Loco. Then a nice Mexican Food Dinner after wards.
We got back in time to clean up and go to Rage, because, well, that's where David wanted to go, and he was in charge. Rage was fun, David was a tad bit smashed, but nothing compared to his straight cousin Duy who was simply dancing with anyone who would pay him attention. At one point someone bought a round of shots and we were getting ready to take them when he came stumbling over with a piece of cake... WTF?? "Duy, where the shit did you get that cake from?" to which he replied, "It's cake!" Yeah Duy, I know, Its cake...All was humorous.
The normal bar antics resumed for the next two nights, and then on Monday night, because the Bazaar has really ridiculous policies and poor communication skills, we went to Michael Mina's XIV on Sunset and Crescent Heights. The quality of food was great. A bit pricey, but the buttery delicious Kobe burger and the lamb chops were stellar. We went to Fiesta after for delicious Sweet Tea Vodka cocktail! I have a new found love!!
The next weekend, which fell sometime in mid-August(that is all the detail I know), was a little bit different kind of fun...It was Eric Pelovello's birthday and we all went down to Huntington beach for food, drinks and volleyball! It was a ton of fun. I actually got some color other than white or red and everyone had a gay ole' time! I found that running/jumping/diving in the sand results in really sore legs, coupled with an intense leg day at the gym two days later is no bueno.
This last weekend was Anthony's Pool Party on Saturday. Jason's best friends Drew and Peter were in town so it was an extra special party. Anthony co-owns a beautiful place in Sunvalley with a nice pool, spa and indoor bar/cocktail room. Needless to say all of them were utilized. Actually used and abused might be better word for it. We were there for a few hours and David was getting a bit complacent. He said "Let's start drinking." Little did I know what kind of mind-fuck was about to run me over. Let's just say, when David gets buzzed his vocab regresses back to that of a 2 year old kid learning his first words. A kid whose parents are both raging alcoholics. "SHOTS!" over and over and over...Its obvious why he is nicknamed "Shots." It was Okay though, I was not too bad. I had met a couple of new people and was socializing when Steven said, "Who wants to play flip cup?" .... Now, I am pretty gay, I like gay things, art, cinema, clothes, shoes, spas, theater, etc...but I'm not 100% gay...When I heard "Flip Cup" I turned into a menace, hungry to compete to prove that I am the beer chugging cup flipping king! And I did, I won a little tournament style thing that they had set up...And now I was hammered. I was not driving that night, so I kinda just let myself go to hell in a hand basket.
The next day, David and I went to Lunch with Elliott, Angie and Anne in Brentwood. Slightly hungover, we decided that Dim Sum is a fantastic way to go. And it was!! After lunch Elliott and Angie took off down to see the parents in SD and David and I went over to Toppers to sit in the steam room, and of course have a couple cocktails. Then Fro-Yo, then Micky's, then home to bed...
This is as much as I remember. I am going to try and post more often so that I DON'T have to resort to these mind-numbingly boring methods or data collection...
My Birthday is coming up, September 3rd. Still really not sure what I am going to do for it. Maybe just dinner and drinks. Maybe a Pool Party at Canvas LA? Not really sure. Any who, to those of you that stuck with me for this long, thanks for reading!
July 15th:
David: Have a drink for me! Hey are you going to MyHouse tomorrow for open bar? If so, if I go will you take me straight to the airport after open bar? Haha, Drinks on me :)
Brandon: Yeah, no prob
***I have the best friends, hey Brandon I'll buy you free drinks if you drive me through the airport promptly after the prospect of way too many free drinks at an open bar.***
July 18th:
Brandon: I should be out of work by 2:30. What have you got planned? Wanna sit by the pool?
Jason: Let's do it!
B: Alright, I'll bring the vodka!
J: Haha, can we do boxed wine instead? I'm trying to keep away from the hard stuff.
***In was not able to go to San Diego pride due to work, so this seemed like the most plausible thing to do on a sunday afternoon. Although there was some aftermath from the friends who did go to San Diego, namely Nareth's Drunk Ass.***
Brandon: I can't make it
Nareth: You promised brandon! Stop making exauses! I'm walking to the BBQ now.
B: I'm not making excuses and I never promise anything. I have to work at 8am tomorrow anyways
N: Dude wrtd, when u said u wwerebt going to SF pirde unsaid u will go to SD pride
B: That's before I knew I had to work this much this weekend. Btw, Kris Allen...Awful skin!!!
N: Ok whatever, have fun aT Jasons
***This is the first time that my little gay bestie was mad at me. I was soooo upset, so then Jason and I drank and ate fried chicken. Happy Pride!***
July 22nd:
This one comes from a Facebook status update:
Brandon Watson is no longer in control of his emotions. Its kinda invigorating though, it makes me feel human. It makes me feel real. It makes me feel alive again...
***Can you say Koo-Koo!!! Or if you can't hit the right pitch, just say pathetically fucking nuts.***
July 25th:
Brandon: What are you doing?
David: Nothing, getting bored thinking bout going to the gym or shopping...u still at work?
B: I'm done. Wanna go to the gym?
D: Ehh I do but I don't...but I'll go...can you come over and watch me rotate my tires first :)
***Oh yeah, that's right, that is why I can't remember what the hell I am EVER doing, my life is sooo painfully boring. "Yeah, hell yeah!! I'd love to watch you rotate your tires!!!***
July 30th
Brandon: What did you do last night?
Greg: Oh nothing at all, haha, u
B: Damn
B: I'm really not completely sure. I was hoping I saw you out last night
G: Nope, what do u mean u don't remember? Were you drunk?
B: No, I had maybe 2 drinks over 4 hours. I have been making up stories all day about what I did last night, and they are all based off of assumptions of how my Tuesday nights normally go.haha
G: Um, Today is Thursday douche...
B: Yeah thats what I meant. I think...
G: Do you really not remember last night?
B: No! I remember taking a few tylenol PM because I was not feeling well and then heading out to the abbey? Or maybe Here lounge?
G: Dumbass, I was out last night! I said Hi to you, at the Abbey with all of your coworkers. You were taking pictures, waiting for two friends next door. You should really not take Tylenol opm anymore!!!!!!1
B: Ohhhhhh yeah! now I remember! Alright, gtg, just took some tylenol PM and am heading to the dodger game with David! :-)
***You can't be addicted to Tylenol can you?***
This brings me to Friday, August 7th. The day before David's B-day. His cousin Duy was in town so we were busy bodies trying to entertain him. My dearest amigo Chris Trudell from San Diego was taking his boat out on Lake Elsinore and wanted to know if we wanted to meet him out there. So we did. We had a blast on the lake, lots of bud light and El Pollo Loco. Then a nice Mexican Food Dinner after wards.
We got back in time to clean up and go to Rage, because, well, that's where David wanted to go, and he was in charge. Rage was fun, David was a tad bit smashed, but nothing compared to his straight cousin Duy who was simply dancing with anyone who would pay him attention. At one point someone bought a round of shots and we were getting ready to take them when he came stumbling over with a piece of cake... WTF?? "Duy, where the shit did you get that cake from?" to which he replied, "It's cake!" Yeah Duy, I know, Its cake...All was humorous.
The normal bar antics resumed for the next two nights, and then on Monday night, because the Bazaar has really ridiculous policies and poor communication skills, we went to Michael Mina's XIV on Sunset and Crescent Heights. The quality of food was great. A bit pricey, but the buttery delicious Kobe burger and the lamb chops were stellar. We went to Fiesta after for delicious Sweet Tea Vodka cocktail! I have a new found love!!
The next weekend, which fell sometime in mid-August(that is all the detail I know), was a little bit different kind of fun...It was Eric Pelovello's birthday and we all went down to Huntington beach for food, drinks and volleyball! It was a ton of fun. I actually got some color other than white or red and everyone had a gay ole' time! I found that running/jumping/diving in the sand results in really sore legs, coupled with an intense leg day at the gym two days later is no bueno.
This last weekend was Anthony's Pool Party on Saturday. Jason's best friends Drew and Peter were in town so it was an extra special party. Anthony co-owns a beautiful place in Sunvalley with a nice pool, spa and indoor bar/cocktail room. Needless to say all of them were utilized. Actually used and abused might be better word for it. We were there for a few hours and David was getting a bit complacent. He said "Let's start drinking." Little did I know what kind of mind-fuck was about to run me over. Let's just say, when David gets buzzed his vocab regresses back to that of a 2 year old kid learning his first words. A kid whose parents are both raging alcoholics. "SHOTS!" over and over and over...Its obvious why he is nicknamed "Shots." It was Okay though, I was not too bad. I had met a couple of new people and was socializing when Steven said, "Who wants to play flip cup?" .... Now, I am pretty gay, I like gay things, art, cinema, clothes, shoes, spas, theater, etc...but I'm not 100% gay...When I heard "Flip Cup" I turned into a menace, hungry to compete to prove that I am the beer chugging cup flipping king! And I did, I won a little tournament style thing that they had set up...And now I was hammered. I was not driving that night, so I kinda just let myself go to hell in a hand basket.
The next day, David and I went to Lunch with Elliott, Angie and Anne in Brentwood. Slightly hungover, we decided that Dim Sum is a fantastic way to go. And it was!! After lunch Elliott and Angie took off down to see the parents in SD and David and I went over to Toppers to sit in the steam room, and of course have a couple cocktails. Then Fro-Yo, then Micky's, then home to bed...
This is as much as I remember. I am going to try and post more often so that I DON'T have to resort to these mind-numbingly boring methods or data collection...
My Birthday is coming up, September 3rd. Still really not sure what I am going to do for it. Maybe just dinner and drinks. Maybe a Pool Party at Canvas LA? Not really sure. Any who, to those of you that stuck with me for this long, thanks for reading!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
My Inaugural "Eff-You" List
I have compiled lots of things that annoy me, from the mundane(#12) to the serious(#59)
1. Here Lounge
2. Open Bar @ Here Lounge
3. 8AM Work shifts
4. Free Shots
5. Free Shots at Mickey's that are pint glass sized
6. Greenwich Village Pizza
7. Go-go dancers who smoke, as if you are not gross enough...
8. iPhone Alarm clocks
9. Open bar @ Here Lounge
10. Repetition
11. Waking up early
12. "Little People" (meaning anyone under 5'6", Eff-You Nareth, hehe)
13. Pat Buchanan
14. Open bar at "My House" (a future Eff-You)
15. My lack of Will-Power
16. Hope, the kind that misleads you to a point of destruction
17. Gays who think Obama is on our side
18. Anyone who has not seen The Never Ending Story and Labyrinth
19. Asher Roth
20. Lebron James
21. Organized religion
22. Millennium software
23. Miller High Life
24. The Gross Domestic Product of Iceland, which is made up entirely by Bjork's inaudible screams and Swan Dresses, but not Ice.
25. the :-P Emoticon. Is it a cute "sticky outty" tongue, or an angry one?
26. Catcher in the Rye, Snooze-Fest, and on that note, anything by James A Michner. C'mon, has anyone really read all 1088 pages of the source?
27. Fat People
28. Skinny People
29. People
30. Professional Sports in San Diego, I hope the Chargers move to LA!
31. This guy:
32. Jay-walkers
33. Hernias, never had one but they just don't sound that amusing.
34. Pontiac Azteks
35. Parking Meters
36. Things from Mighigan, Delaware, Alabama and Utah, in no particular order
37. Crocodicles, Alligators, you're cool, but Eff-You Crocodiles and your pointy snouts...
38. While on animals, Tarsirs, Geoducks, Rhode Island Reds, Pigeons, and anything that births its babies by way of its back. Yeah, I'm talking to you Mr. Suriname Toad!!
39. Motel 6
40. Whores
41. Anything born prior to the year 1900, quit taking my fresh air! You're turn is over!
42. Conservatives
43. Ultra-conservative, really now? Who is that stupid to label themselves as Ultra-Conservative. Its a direct translation to any of the following: Ultra...Racist/Ignorant/Socially awkward/misled/hateful/self-centered/etc, and is a direct translation in Swahili, I believe, to a Bag of Douche...I may be a little lost in translation though.
44. Depleted Uranium
45. Sarah Palin
46. Sarah Palin
47. Sarah Palin
48. Incandescent light bulbs
49. Wood Paneled Vans
50. Trophy Wives
51. Caddy Gays
52. Facebook Apps
53. Cancer
54. Douche Bag Straight Guys, and Douche Bag Gay guys for that matter
55. AT&T Wireless
56. 100 Spoke Rims
57. Love
58. Back Fat/Love Handles
59. World Peace via war, c'mon really now? Dumbasses
60. Everything Maple...Trees, Bats, wood, leaves, syrup, etc.
61. American Made Cars
62. Those Bugs that live in Watercress
63. Well Tequila
64. Naturally fit people
65. Kobayashi
66. Coffee Bean
67. Lava
68. Tiny Post-It notes
69. NorCal
70. People who get laid
71. 90,000 mile car tune-ups
72. People whom sparingly return your calls
73. Red-Eye, the movie, not the flights, and While I'm on movies, Land of the Lost, Jason and I saw it for free, and still felt ripped off!
74. Anything Will Ferrel, Post 2005
75. Texas Hold'Em
76. Harlequin-type Ichthyosis...look it up on You Tube
77. Generally everyone east of the Mississippi
78. Bad Pho
79. The Number 79
The End
1. Here Lounge
2. Open Bar @ Here Lounge
3. 8AM Work shifts
4. Free Shots
5. Free Shots at Mickey's that are pint glass sized
6. Greenwich Village Pizza
7. Go-go dancers who smoke, as if you are not gross enough...
8. iPhone Alarm clocks
9. Open bar @ Here Lounge
10. Repetition
11. Waking up early
12. "Little People" (meaning anyone under 5'6", Eff-You Nareth, hehe)
13. Pat Buchanan
14. Open bar at "My House" (a future Eff-You)
15. My lack of Will-Power
16. Hope, the kind that misleads you to a point of destruction
17. Gays who think Obama is on our side
18. Anyone who has not seen The Never Ending Story and Labyrinth
19. Asher Roth
20. Lebron James
21. Organized religion
22. Millennium software
23. Miller High Life
24. The Gross Domestic Product of Iceland, which is made up entirely by Bjork's inaudible screams and Swan Dresses, but not Ice.
25. the :-P Emoticon. Is it a cute "sticky outty" tongue, or an angry one?
26. Catcher in the Rye, Snooze-Fest, and on that note, anything by James A Michner. C'mon, has anyone really read all 1088 pages of the source?
27. Fat People
28. Skinny People
29. People
30. Professional Sports in San Diego, I hope the Chargers move to LA!
31. This guy:
32. Jay-walkers
33. Hernias, never had one but they just don't sound that amusing.
34. Pontiac Azteks
35. Parking Meters
36. Things from Mighigan, Delaware, Alabama and Utah, in no particular order
37. Crocodicles, Alligators, you're cool, but Eff-You Crocodiles and your pointy snouts...
38. While on animals, Tarsirs, Geoducks, Rhode Island Reds, Pigeons, and anything that births its babies by way of its back. Yeah, I'm talking to you Mr. Suriname Toad!!
39. Motel 6
40. Whores
41. Anything born prior to the year 1900, quit taking my fresh air! You're turn is over!
42. Conservatives
43. Ultra-conservative, really now? Who is that stupid to label themselves as Ultra-Conservative. Its a direct translation to any of the following: Ultra...Racist/Ignorant/Socially awkward/misled/hateful/self-centered/etc, and is a direct translation in Swahili, I believe, to a Bag of Douche...I may be a little lost in translation though.
44. Depleted Uranium
45. Sarah Palin
46. Sarah Palin
47. Sarah Palin
48. Incandescent light bulbs
49. Wood Paneled Vans
50. Trophy Wives
51. Caddy Gays
52. Facebook Apps
53. Cancer
54. Douche Bag Straight Guys, and Douche Bag Gay guys for that matter
55. AT&T Wireless
56. 100 Spoke Rims
57. Love
58. Back Fat/Love Handles
59. World Peace via war, c'mon really now? Dumbasses
60. Everything Maple...Trees, Bats, wood, leaves, syrup, etc.
61. American Made Cars
62. Those Bugs that live in Watercress
63. Well Tequila
64. Naturally fit people
65. Kobayashi
66. Coffee Bean
67. Lava
68. Tiny Post-It notes
69. NorCal
70. People who get laid
71. 90,000 mile car tune-ups
72. People whom sparingly return your calls
73. Red-Eye, the movie, not the flights, and While I'm on movies, Land of the Lost, Jason and I saw it for free, and still felt ripped off!
74. Anything Will Ferrel, Post 2005
75. Texas Hold'Em
76. Harlequin-type Ichthyosis...look it up on You Tube
77. Generally everyone east of the Mississippi
78. Bad Pho
79. The Number 79
The End
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Why I love my friends...
Today I'm writing about my friend Elliott.
On Tuesday, after I got outta work, I headed downtown to pick up Jason and head to the gym. My dear friend Ryan was driving back up to Berkeley from San Diego and was going to meet us for dinner and drinks after we got back from the gym. We ended up going to a Thai food place in Thai town called Red Corner. The food was incredible and I think my addiction to fried chicken may be subsiding, thanks to a revisited addiction to Yum Bla Muk, or lemongrass calamari.
Jason, Ryan and I head to the Abbey to meet up with some other friends for a casual drink. We got to the abbey and ordered a drink an waited for Elliott. I can almost pinpoint the exact moment, where the evening was sucked dry of all banality. Keep in mind this was a Tuesday. Ryan kept asking, why are we waiting for Elliott, who is Elliott? Needless to say Ryan was soon to find out who Elliott was. Elliott arrived about 30 minutes after we did and proceeded to buy a round of drinks. Three Vodka Sodas and Two Patron shots later, the lights started coming on. The bar was closing and we were kicked to the curb. Elliott wanted to go get some more food(on this brisk Wednesday Morning) so we did. When the little Korean restaurant refused to serve us more alcohol, at 3AM, we left and went to a karaoke bar in Korea Town. Cue surreal insanity....NOW!
We pull into the parking lot of a certain nameless karaoke bar on Harvard and Wilshire and my attention is immediately drawn to this Asian woman by the back entrance with a stroller. Thought #1, where the hell am I, Thought #2, Who the hell has a baby out at this hour, Thought #3, why does that woman have hairy knuckles and facial hair?? All three of these questions were answered when Elliott went and talked to her/him/her/whatever. It was a man, a very gay looking one at that, with a stroller and two Maltese dogs...WTF? Elliott and heshe chat for a bit in Korean, and then we go upstairs. The place is completely empty, again it is friggin' Wednesday morning at 3AM. We go into a karaoke room and are immediately bombarded with platters of fruit, cuttlefish and Korean ramen. We were RAVENOUS...Then came the large styrofoam cups of Soju and beer. As if it was not bad enough, heshe starts telling Jason how pretty he is and asking him if he has a girlfriend. After the laughter subsides, heshe starts asking us if we want girls tonight. He was trying to pimp call girls to three gay men and drunk Ryan at 3:30AM, Not the best marketing plan if you ask me.
The visual is priceless and I am really not sure my artists rendering will do it justice, so I will let your imaginations run wild. Elliott, Jason, Ryan and myself, karaoke-ing to Bohemian Rhapsody while he/she is groping on his/her prostitute while standing on the table, as two little Maltese dogs run around the room trying to eat what was left of the food...The most random night I have had in recent memory.
When we were driving home, Ryan finally understood why we were waiting for Elliott. Shit just kinda happens when you hang out with Elliott! Hahaha
On Tuesday, after I got outta work, I headed downtown to pick up Jason and head to the gym. My dear friend Ryan was driving back up to Berkeley from San Diego and was going to meet us for dinner and drinks after we got back from the gym. We ended up going to a Thai food place in Thai town called Red Corner. The food was incredible and I think my addiction to fried chicken may be subsiding, thanks to a revisited addiction to Yum Bla Muk, or lemongrass calamari.
Jason, Ryan and I head to the Abbey to meet up with some other friends for a casual drink. We got to the abbey and ordered a drink an waited for Elliott. I can almost pinpoint the exact moment, where the evening was sucked dry of all banality. Keep in mind this was a Tuesday. Ryan kept asking, why are we waiting for Elliott, who is Elliott? Needless to say Ryan was soon to find out who Elliott was. Elliott arrived about 30 minutes after we did and proceeded to buy a round of drinks. Three Vodka Sodas and Two Patron shots later, the lights started coming on. The bar was closing and we were kicked to the curb. Elliott wanted to go get some more food(on this brisk Wednesday Morning) so we did. When the little Korean restaurant refused to serve us more alcohol, at 3AM, we left and went to a karaoke bar in Korea Town. Cue surreal insanity....NOW!
We pull into the parking lot of a certain nameless karaoke bar on Harvard and Wilshire and my attention is immediately drawn to this Asian woman by the back entrance with a stroller. Thought #1, where the hell am I, Thought #2, Who the hell has a baby out at this hour, Thought #3, why does that woman have hairy knuckles and facial hair?? All three of these questions were answered when Elliott went and talked to her/him/her/whatever. It was a man, a very gay looking one at that, with a stroller and two Maltese dogs...WTF? Elliott and heshe chat for a bit in Korean, and then we go upstairs. The place is completely empty, again it is friggin' Wednesday morning at 3AM. We go into a karaoke room and are immediately bombarded with platters of fruit, cuttlefish and Korean ramen. We were RAVENOUS...Then came the large styrofoam cups of Soju and beer. As if it was not bad enough, heshe starts telling Jason how pretty he is and asking him if he has a girlfriend. After the laughter subsides, heshe starts asking us if we want girls tonight. He was trying to pimp call girls to three gay men and drunk Ryan at 3:30AM, Not the best marketing plan if you ask me.
The visual is priceless and I am really not sure my artists rendering will do it justice, so I will let your imaginations run wild. Elliott, Jason, Ryan and myself, karaoke-ing to Bohemian Rhapsody while he/she is groping on his/her prostitute while standing on the table, as two little Maltese dogs run around the room trying to eat what was left of the food...The most random night I have had in recent memory.
When we were driving home, Ryan finally understood why we were waiting for Elliott. Shit just kinda happens when you hang out with Elliott! Hahaha
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Dog Semen, Dead people from the 80's and the return of a legend...
So my plans to go to SF for Pride this weekend fell through at the last second. At first I was a bit bummed and frustrated, but i really think it was a blessing in disguise. I don't really need to be wasting money on booze, and am still kinda reeling from LA Pride. I could use a weekend off. Been wasting a lot of time with a couple friends and have been loving it.
Everyone is dying. David Carradine(Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation), Ed McMahon(Decapitated by one of those big ass Publisher's Clearing House Checks), Farrah Fawcett(Butt-Hole Cancer), Michael Jackson(Cardiac Arrest) and now, the most recognizable of all, Billy Mays. Patrick Swayze is on Home Hospice and Steve Jobs is on his way to the big Apple Store in the sky.
This makes me think about death a little bit and how shitty it actually is. Not the whole dying part, but what everyone does after you die.
David Carradine's family is trying to cover up the fact that David was choking his willy while choking himself.
Michael Jackson's family is already fighting over his estate...Jesus people, at least wait til rigor mortis kick in. And now the gay allegations are flying, and all of his Aides are starting to talk. This should get interesting.
Farrah Fawcett did not have to die. If she just would have had a colostomy done she may very well still be here. But noooooo, she felt like she should be utilizing a German Homeopath...Darwin Awards anyone? When an educated oncologist tells you to do something or you will die, you should probably do it. Instead, you put some herbs in your bum and called it a day...How'd that work for you?
Ed McMahon was apparently a really nice guy, per my old roommate who was his IT guy. And I have nothing to say about Billy Mays. I just really hope that Oxi Clean does not replace Billy Mays with that god damned anal abscess from the Sham-Wow Commercials. Thats all I have to whine about now! Happy Pride Queers!
Everyone is dying. David Carradine(Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation), Ed McMahon(Decapitated by one of those big ass Publisher's Clearing House Checks), Farrah Fawcett(Butt-Hole Cancer), Michael Jackson(Cardiac Arrest) and now, the most recognizable of all, Billy Mays. Patrick Swayze is on Home Hospice and Steve Jobs is on his way to the big Apple Store in the sky.
This makes me think about death a little bit and how shitty it actually is. Not the whole dying part, but what everyone does after you die.
David Carradine's family is trying to cover up the fact that David was choking his willy while choking himself.
Michael Jackson's family is already fighting over his estate...Jesus people, at least wait til rigor mortis kick in. And now the gay allegations are flying, and all of his Aides are starting to talk. This should get interesting.
Farrah Fawcett did not have to die. If she just would have had a colostomy done she may very well still be here. But noooooo, she felt like she should be utilizing a German Homeopath...Darwin Awards anyone? When an educated oncologist tells you to do something or you will die, you should probably do it. Instead, you put some herbs in your bum and called it a day...How'd that work for you?
Ed McMahon was apparently a really nice guy, per my old roommate who was his IT guy. And I have nothing to say about Billy Mays. I just really hope that Oxi Clean does not replace Billy Mays with that god damned anal abscess from the Sham-Wow Commercials. Thats all I have to whine about now! Happy Pride Queers!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Pride, Burning houses and Flaming Queens...
So the last weekend has been pretty busy, both with work and the staggeringly boring social life. It was Pride weekend so I figured that even my social life would be jump started...I was right...and Jump-started it was.
My Pride Weekend started on Friday day. Jason and I went and got Pho at Pho 87 in China town. It was friggin' delicious. After the food coma kicked in, we sat around for a bit, played some nintendo wii, and then went out to the beverly center to get me a shirt for pride. Later that night, we headed over to Gary's casa for a little grub and grog where we met up with Mark and Evan. We got their around 8, made an ice cold beverage and parked it on the balcony listening to some music. Shortly thereafter, David, Nareth, Tim and a host of other gays got there. and the party had started.
The first drinks I made for Jason and I were a couple of heavy long islands. I have learned that the key to not spending money when going out is to do a little pre-drinking prior to the bars. So we did. When we were sitting outside, someone brought out a bottle of Jagermeister and a plate full of meatballs. Needless to say, the plate and bottle were both polished off in a matter of minutes...We walked down to the bars shortly after and kinda just hopped around the whole time, until finally the night had ended.
I worked Saturday Morning from 8-1, and then headed out to Downtown to go gymming with Jason before heading to the gayborhood. Jefferson was having a BBQ at his place so I picked up Allison and the three of us met up with everyone around 7:30 for burgers and kahlua! mmmmm...After the BBQ we went to the Abbey and other places of non-descript value, did our thing, and then took off around 2. We drove back to Jason's and hung out there for a bit before I took off around 4am.
Sunday was where everything gets a little crazy. Jefferson was having brunch at his place starting at 10am. I stopped by Ralphs grabbed some fruit and stuff and then headed over. Everyone their kinda looked/smelt of death reincarnate, but it was ok, its was PRIDE!! Haha The food was fantastic! Krispy Cremes, 151 Rum Cake, Pastries fruit, lumpia...Ahhhh, so good!!
Noon rolled around, Jason showed up, and we decided to head down to see the parade. It was nothing short of amazingly gay. Haha Shirtless dancing men everywhere! Because, well, that's just kinda what the gays do...Dance...Shirtless...
We did the usual little barhop, where we met up with Jung, Gi, and Wataru, and then headed to the festival. I had never actually been to the festival, and I was kinda impressed. I am not sure if I would have been able to spend the entire day there, but the few hours that we were there would suffice! After the festival Jung got an invite from a friend to go to Roland Emmerich's Pride party! Ummm, exciting! Haha. We parked Elliott's car, got into the shuttles and headed up the hill. The place was nuts. Huge house, beautiful pool and close to a billion gays everywhere.
It was pretty wicked! At one point of the night, Elliott decided to sit in a bush. It was an ass-high squared off shrub that apparently Elliott thought was, as Jason put it, a nature chair. We stayed there for a few hours, and then left. Jason went in his friends' car, and I was waiting for Elliott and Gi to get out of the bathroom so we could go pick Jason up. Elliott got out of the bathroom and we immediately went back to the shuttle and then pick Jason up...Hmmmmmm, whats missing here? Uh-Oh, Where's Gi?? Yeah, we did...we left Gi at Roland Emmerich's house, needless to say, he was not that thrilled. This is the kind of shit that happens in the movies. Wataru had left a bit earlier and I was under the impression that Gi went with him...Ooops, not quite the case...Luckily enough for Gi, our buddy John Han was there to save the day, and drove him back to WeHo. We picked up Jason and then called it a night around 1:30.
I said a few times this week that I was not going to be able to one-up my pride from last year, so I was not going to even try, but I think I did a pretty good job. I had such a great weekend, didn't spend a lot of money, and got to spend it with some pretty cool people! I am really amazed by the friends that I have made over the last few months!!
That is all!
My Pride Weekend started on Friday day. Jason and I went and got Pho at Pho 87 in China town. It was friggin' delicious. After the food coma kicked in, we sat around for a bit, played some nintendo wii, and then went out to the beverly center to get me a shirt for pride. Later that night, we headed over to Gary's casa for a little grub and grog where we met up with Mark and Evan. We got their around 8, made an ice cold beverage and parked it on the balcony listening to some music. Shortly thereafter, David, Nareth, Tim and a host of other gays got there. and the party had started.
The first drinks I made for Jason and I were a couple of heavy long islands. I have learned that the key to not spending money when going out is to do a little pre-drinking prior to the bars. So we did. When we were sitting outside, someone brought out a bottle of Jagermeister and a plate full of meatballs. Needless to say, the plate and bottle were both polished off in a matter of minutes...We walked down to the bars shortly after and kinda just hopped around the whole time, until finally the night had ended.
I worked Saturday Morning from 8-1, and then headed out to Downtown to go gymming with Jason before heading to the gayborhood. Jefferson was having a BBQ at his place so I picked up Allison and the three of us met up with everyone around 7:30 for burgers and kahlua! mmmmm...After the BBQ we went to the Abbey and other places of non-descript value, did our thing, and then took off around 2. We drove back to Jason's and hung out there for a bit before I took off around 4am.
Sunday was where everything gets a little crazy. Jefferson was having brunch at his place starting at 10am. I stopped by Ralphs grabbed some fruit and stuff and then headed over. Everyone their kinda looked/smelt of death reincarnate, but it was ok, its was PRIDE!! Haha The food was fantastic! Krispy Cremes, 151 Rum Cake, Pastries fruit, lumpia...Ahhhh, so good!!
Noon rolled around, Jason showed up, and we decided to head down to see the parade. It was nothing short of amazingly gay. Haha Shirtless dancing men everywhere! Because, well, that's just kinda what the gays do...Dance...Shirtless...
We did the usual little barhop, where we met up with Jung, Gi, and Wataru, and then headed to the festival. I had never actually been to the festival, and I was kinda impressed. I am not sure if I would have been able to spend the entire day there, but the few hours that we were there would suffice! After the festival Jung got an invite from a friend to go to Roland Emmerich's Pride party! Ummm, exciting! Haha. We parked Elliott's car, got into the shuttles and headed up the hill. The place was nuts. Huge house, beautiful pool and close to a billion gays everywhere.
It was pretty wicked! At one point of the night, Elliott decided to sit in a bush. It was an ass-high squared off shrub that apparently Elliott thought was, as Jason put it, a nature chair. We stayed there for a few hours, and then left. Jason went in his friends' car, and I was waiting for Elliott and Gi to get out of the bathroom so we could go pick Jason up. Elliott got out of the bathroom and we immediately went back to the shuttle and then pick Jason up...Hmmmmmm, whats missing here? Uh-Oh, Where's Gi?? Yeah, we did...we left Gi at Roland Emmerich's house, needless to say, he was not that thrilled. This is the kind of shit that happens in the movies. Wataru had left a bit earlier and I was under the impression that Gi went with him...Ooops, not quite the case...Luckily enough for Gi, our buddy John Han was there to save the day, and drove him back to WeHo. We picked up Jason and then called it a night around 1:30.
I said a few times this week that I was not going to be able to one-up my pride from last year, so I was not going to even try, but I think I did a pretty good job. I had such a great weekend, didn't spend a lot of money, and got to spend it with some pretty cool people! I am really amazed by the friends that I have made over the last few months!!
That is all!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Whoa, two in two days?
No nothing tragically painful or embarrassing has happened to me in the past twenty four hours, so if thats what you're here for, I thought I'd toss out the disclaimer.
To my last two remaining reader who is not here in a Sadists Fashion, I got good news yesterday. My Sister-in-law, Dearest Allyson, found out a couple weeks back that she was preggers. Sweet! Well they found out yesterday that the one little heartbeat is actually two. Double Sweet! Now, I really do not care for children, at all, but thats because of two reasons. 1. They are not mine, and B. I've never been able to use them as a weapon. >:-) I cannot wait for their first day with "Weird Gay Uncle Brandon," or as Kyle calls it DubGUB. One Baby = Chick/Dude Magnet, Twins = Oh My Goodness. I'm gonna get them sugared up and drop them off shortly before they start bouncing off the walls... "But we don't want anymore pixie stix, Weird Gay Uncle Brandon..." "If you don't eat the Pixie Stix, the Goblins under your bed will get you at night!"
Oh, I'm gonna be the best uncle ever! hahaha
Other than all that Breeder baby-makin' non-sense, I spoke to my boss yesterday. It had been a while since we had spoken and a little mini-rift had definitely formed between us. I felt it necessary for is to be on the same page. And now we are and all it took was a 3 minute phone call, and it feels oh so wonderful. Well, thats all I have for now. I don't until 5PM tonight for a few hours, so another day of boredom is about to commence in 3...2...1...
To my last two remaining reader who is not here in a Sadists Fashion, I got good news yesterday. My Sister-in-law, Dearest Allyson, found out a couple weeks back that she was preggers. Sweet! Well they found out yesterday that the one little heartbeat is actually two. Double Sweet! Now, I really do not care for children, at all, but thats because of two reasons. 1. They are not mine, and B. I've never been able to use them as a weapon. >:-) I cannot wait for their first day with "Weird Gay Uncle Brandon," or as Kyle calls it DubGUB. One Baby = Chick/Dude Magnet, Twins = Oh My Goodness. I'm gonna get them sugared up and drop them off shortly before they start bouncing off the walls... "But we don't want anymore pixie stix, Weird Gay Uncle Brandon..." "If you don't eat the Pixie Stix, the Goblins under your bed will get you at night!"
Oh, I'm gonna be the best uncle ever! hahaha
Other than all that Breeder baby-makin' non-sense, I spoke to my boss yesterday. It had been a while since we had spoken and a little mini-rift had definitely formed between us. I felt it necessary for is to be on the same page. And now we are and all it took was a 3 minute phone call, and it feels oh so wonderful. Well, thats all I have for now. I don't until 5PM tonight for a few hours, so another day of boredom is about to commence in 3...2...1...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
About damn time...
So It has been awhile, and I have had requests from numerous people, well, 2 of my three total readers, when am I going to post again, and that got me to thinking. The premise of this blog was to provide an outlet for me to more or less, bitch and moan about things that are out of my control, for example, shin contusions, angry violent elder Jewish Women and their continued assault on my ankles, constant letdown of day to day life etc... Well, to be honest, there has not been much of that going on. Both my jobs are as solid as one could imagine in this economy, and my social life is developing at a nice pace.
One of my largest concerns when I moved up here, was what if Jeff and I broke up? The only people that I would know are John, who now almost exclusively lives in Manchester, Nareth, who lives seemingly equally far away in Long Beach and Tim, who is always doing his own thing. I am a very friend-oriented person and love the company of others even if it is to do something as simple as watching TV or eating some grub. I love the potential of social interaction! I am a social whore! I have met so many wonderful people here over the last six months and could not be happier. I now live with Nareth and Allison, and from Jun, David, Chester and the rest of the girls to, Mayor Phil and his loyal constituents to my lovely valentine's day "Date" Francis and his wonderful Jason, I feel like my days are full of fun loving happy people who just get me. Or at least try to. I'm not easy to understand, but it says a lot when people make a conscious effort to get to know you.
The last week or so has been incredible. I feel that my work performance is top notch, my social life is fantastic and the love life, although not existent is just that. Non-Existent. Its not a burdensome thing looming over me like it had been for the last 5 months or so. Yeah, there are a few people that I am fond of, there always is, but I'm done making the first move. I simply don't feel the need or pressure to act on feelings. Plus I have decided that I really want to get to know someone well before I progress. So yeah, enough of the sobby, sappy crap, lets talk about me getting injured, something that over the past six month you have all showed some interest in...assholes.
I drove home the other night after dinner at Francis and Jason's, parked my car got out, stood up and racked my skull off of a low hanging pipe so hard, that there was a definitive crunching sound, coupled with a bright flash of light and an instantaneous feeling of nausea. The last time I hit my head this hard is when I suffered my first concussion, about 10 years ago...I was vacuuming...Yes, Vacuuming... I was telling Jason on Sunday when we went to the gym how I manage to hurt myself in the most ridiculous ways, ie, Semitic Ankle Ramage, Car Door Shin Contusions, drunk flag football(don't ever call out someone 3" taller and 100 pounds heavier, You will shatter your right hand, every time!), Vacuuming, riding your bike in the grass and even playing on an innocent air filled water bed mattress...ohhh, the good old days.
I never manage to hurt myself when in really compromising positions like drunk bicycling, drunken fence hurdling, skydiving etc. I am that guy.
I did have a very "Pay it Forward" kinda moment the other day. I went to the bank, and held the door for this lady, she was very sweet and was walking ahead of me to get in line. A woman cut right in between myself and the woman i held the door for. The woman I held the door for, looked at me, I was probably scowling and cursing the hag that cut me off, but she smiled and said, "Here sweetie, take my spot in line." The hag that cut me off was furious and started saying "That's not Fair!" and "You Cannot Do That!" My door lady looked her in the eye, and said, "Can you Please be Quiet, I don't have time to listen to your petty issues." I almost fell down laughing. I did my business and got out before this turned into a full-blown cat-fight. So the pay it forward part came later when an older gentleman was backing out of his parking stall at the now infamous "Assault on my Ankles" Walgreen's. I stopped and let him go. Oooops, how was i supposed to know he was going to back into the car across the way? So I turned a blind eye put my car in reverse and pretended to not have noticed anything...and not speak English.
All in all, life is going well right now. I will post a bit more often now, hopefully regarding happy things and cheerful uplifting snippets, but we'll see what happens! haha
Have a lovely week everyone, I will talk at you soon.
One of my largest concerns when I moved up here, was what if Jeff and I broke up? The only people that I would know are John, who now almost exclusively lives in Manchester, Nareth, who lives seemingly equally far away in Long Beach and Tim, who is always doing his own thing. I am a very friend-oriented person and love the company of others even if it is to do something as simple as watching TV or eating some grub. I love the potential of social interaction! I am a social whore! I have met so many wonderful people here over the last six months and could not be happier. I now live with Nareth and Allison, and from Jun, David, Chester and the rest of the girls to, Mayor Phil and his loyal constituents to my lovely valentine's day "Date" Francis and his wonderful Jason, I feel like my days are full of fun loving happy people who just get me. Or at least try to. I'm not easy to understand, but it says a lot when people make a conscious effort to get to know you.
The last week or so has been incredible. I feel that my work performance is top notch, my social life is fantastic and the love life, although not existent is just that. Non-Existent. Its not a burdensome thing looming over me like it had been for the last 5 months or so. Yeah, there are a few people that I am fond of, there always is, but I'm done making the first move. I simply don't feel the need or pressure to act on feelings. Plus I have decided that I really want to get to know someone well before I progress. So yeah, enough of the sobby, sappy crap, lets talk about me getting injured, something that over the past six month you have all showed some interest in...assholes.
I drove home the other night after dinner at Francis and Jason's, parked my car got out, stood up and racked my skull off of a low hanging pipe so hard, that there was a definitive crunching sound, coupled with a bright flash of light and an instantaneous feeling of nausea. The last time I hit my head this hard is when I suffered my first concussion, about 10 years ago...I was vacuuming...Yes, Vacuuming... I was telling Jason on Sunday when we went to the gym how I manage to hurt myself in the most ridiculous ways, ie, Semitic Ankle Ramage, Car Door Shin Contusions, drunk flag football(don't ever call out someone 3" taller and 100 pounds heavier, You will shatter your right hand, every time!), Vacuuming, riding your bike in the grass and even playing on an innocent air filled water bed mattress...ohhh, the good old days.
I never manage to hurt myself when in really compromising positions like drunk bicycling, drunken fence hurdling, skydiving etc. I am that guy.
I did have a very "Pay it Forward" kinda moment the other day. I went to the bank, and held the door for this lady, she was very sweet and was walking ahead of me to get in line. A woman cut right in between myself and the woman i held the door for. The woman I held the door for, looked at me, I was probably scowling and cursing the hag that cut me off, but she smiled and said, "Here sweetie, take my spot in line." The hag that cut me off was furious and started saying "That's not Fair!" and "You Cannot Do That!" My door lady looked her in the eye, and said, "Can you Please be Quiet, I don't have time to listen to your petty issues." I almost fell down laughing. I did my business and got out before this turned into a full-blown cat-fight. So the pay it forward part came later when an older gentleman was backing out of his parking stall at the now infamous "Assault on my Ankles" Walgreen's. I stopped and let him go. Oooops, how was i supposed to know he was going to back into the car across the way? So I turned a blind eye put my car in reverse and pretended to not have noticed anything...and not speak English.
All in all, life is going well right now. I will post a bit more often now, hopefully regarding happy things and cheerful uplifting snippets, but we'll see what happens! haha
Have a lovely week everyone, I will talk at you soon.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
New Ambitions...
So I have been doing a lot of thinking recently and it took me back to a conversation that I had with David and Richard on a trek to Costco on New Years Eve day. The conversation pertained to what our dream jobs were. I think I said that my dream job was to be a general manager of a Major League Baseball team. My reasons were simple. Its fun, I love baseball, I love people and I enjoy a taste of control. Well, I have been thinking about that conversation recently and have reassessed what I am currently doing. I love working in spas for all the right reasons. Plus there are no two better companies to work for than SBE/Starwood and Marcus/Harry. I do want to expand my horizons a bit, and have started looking into promotions. I would love to start a promotions company. I have recently been looking around and reading up on successful club promotion companies, their roots and their revenue patterns. I am looking into getting a group of four or five "partners" together to start brainstorming this little venture.
Instead of a normal promotions company, I want to create an entity that focuses on giving back to the community. A solid event can rake $5,000-$10,000 a night. I am all about making a ton of money, but if I can organize events where people have a good time and can kick a couple grand to charity every week, i would be thrilled. I have a couple friends, Darrell and Francis who have expressed interest and are both currently involved in non-profits, and now i feel like i need to recruit someone who has some experience in promotions as a "advisor." I really think that this could be something that really takes off. With the right marketing and publicity I think that this venture could be really successful and beneficial to the community. If you have any promotions experience or simply know that you can recruit a ton of people i wanna hear from you!
Other than that, I have been doing just a lot of packing and unpacking. I still do not have a fridge yet, but am working on that. I love having my own room, but do miss some of the luxuries of the fully furnished place that I left. Everything here is good, business is great at the Envy and is really picking up at SLS. I am at an awesome place in life right now, stressful, but awesome. I finally feel like i have found a nice balance of work and play. Sorry I don't have more dismal news for y'all, but thats about it!
Instead of a normal promotions company, I want to create an entity that focuses on giving back to the community. A solid event can rake $5,000-$10,000 a night. I am all about making a ton of money, but if I can organize events where people have a good time and can kick a couple grand to charity every week, i would be thrilled. I have a couple friends, Darrell and Francis who have expressed interest and are both currently involved in non-profits, and now i feel like i need to recruit someone who has some experience in promotions as a "advisor." I really think that this could be something that really takes off. With the right marketing and publicity I think that this venture could be really successful and beneficial to the community. If you have any promotions experience or simply know that you can recruit a ton of people i wanna hear from you!
Other than that, I have been doing just a lot of packing and unpacking. I still do not have a fridge yet, but am working on that. I love having my own room, but do miss some of the luxuries of the fully furnished place that I left. Everything here is good, business is great at the Envy and is really picking up at SLS. I am at an awesome place in life right now, stressful, but awesome. I finally feel like i have found a nice balance of work and play. Sorry I don't have more dismal news for y'all, but thats about it!
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