Ron part 2 and my "Real" Silver Lake Experience...

Yesterday I went to the gym and actually me Ron officially for the first time. He probably felt it necessary to at least know the name of the guy who stared in awwwe and the giant Sequoia growing between his legs. I introduced my self, shook his hand and that was it. He was wearing his underwear at this point, which was kinda refreshing because I really did not feel comfortable getting up and close with King Ron's "Cap'n Ron." I had a good work out, did some cardio, kept the heart rate fairly moderate. No more 193 beats per minute for me now. Even in full exertion it only gets up around 170. So yeah, enough of the boring stuff...

Sunday night, I volunteered to cover for A-hole because she was down for the count with Strep. So after having been at SLS since 10AM, I went to the envy to help Marsa close. Harry and Shawn started harassing me to meet them at "El Conquistador" in Silver Lake for a margarita...So I did. I got there around 10PM, and they were both blotto! I had a delicious little quesadillia and an even more delicious not so little margarita. I had not eaten since a 3:30 lunch at the SLS cafeteria, so I figured food might be a good idea at this point. After I chowed down, "The Hobbits" and myself walked over to this, and I quote, "Awesome, little bar. You're going to be fresh meat, they are going to love you." Harry's statement should have made me yawn, proclaim exhaustion and leave, but I am apparently a stupid, stupid boy. We went to The Eagle, which I will now refer to as "The Vulture," dissect it however you'd like, and grabbed a pint or two of Bud Light. Harry handed me my beer, and said bottoms up! So I chugged my pint. He did not. In what world does bottoms up not mean to chug your 20oz pint. Anyways, ordered another pint and nursed this one. We were just sitting around making fun of people when I got up to use the bathroom.

Now, I find a certain type of person attractive...generally they need to be good looking, over 5 feet tall, not a metric ton, and have all four major appendages(although the last one is not always necessary). There were one or two attractive people in the bar, and as I was waiting in line for the bathroom, a tall, handsome, blond "Surfer Guy" approached me and stood next to me. Here is the dialogue:

Douche: You in line?
Me: Yeah
Douche: You heading in there?(meaning the bathroom)
Me: Uhhhh, yeah, this is the bathroom line isn't it?
Douche: You want some company?
Me: No Thanks.
Douche: You want me to go in with you?
Me: I said No...
Douche: I can make it worth your time...(As he winks at me, yes winks)
Me: What part of NO don't you understand, fucking ass-clown!
Douche: Dude, Its OK, I was just asking if you wanted to hang out in there.
Me: Hang out in the Bathroom? Who the shit hangs out in the bathroom. Stop talking to me, you're giving me a migraine.

So he got out of line and went back to sit down at the bar. I was not trying to be mean, I just don't know how to handle stupid people and get flusterred and verbally abusive. I'm sure he was telling his buddy what a prick I was, but, I guess I was just not ready to get propositioned at a leather bar, no matter how good looking the guy was. I still have a shred of dignity left, and I am going to try and hang onto it!

After The Vulture, Shawn wanted to venture down to another "Fine Establishment," El BarCito...Or as Harold referred to it, Little Tijuana. We got frisked by an armed security guard when we went in, and pretty much got frisked by all the bar patrons the rest of the night. When I saw the armed security guards, my first thought was, ohhhh, it is just like Tijuana! There was some cross-dresser on stage singing what seemed to be Mexican Showtunes in a really out of pitch voice. Not to mention his/her dress was a touch too tight in the front crotchular region. I'm not critical of cross-dressers, transgenders, etc, in fact I have all the respect in the world for them. They are the last portion of the American population to shunned in almost every walk of life. It takes some guts to be who you believe you are. HOWEVER, I was being visually raped by his/her frontal appendage, and it was time to go.

It was quite the interesting evening. I had been to MJ's in Silver Lake before, but now I think I truly have an understanding of what this sleepy little town is all about...Large Men, Leather, Bud Light and Touchy-Feely Latinos...Hmmmm, stinks a lot like a gay Escondido if you ask me...

Football, Days off, Shave Cream, Alcohol and a creepy old man...

My gays may wanna skip the first paragraph, It has been translated into "straight talk"...

First off, Congrats to my Football Chargers. And yes some gays like football for something other than the Tight Ends...hmmm...yeah...Anyways, My Chargers spanked, no, embarrassed the Denver Donkeys last night, 52-21 including a 4th and 1 touchdown run that was no unnecessary it made me laugh. The cameras panned in on Jay Cutler (Denver's Quarterback the one who throws the ball for you gays) towards the end of the game when the chargers were up 45-13 and Cutler mouthed, "I can't believe this, Wow." Yeah Jay, you just got spanked by a team that was 4-8 4 weeks ago. Don't worry, I'm sure the Chargers will send you a post card from Tampa Bay come February...

My next topic is Days Off...OF which I have not had in three days and will not have for another 3 days...Boo. I think I am going to take Sundays off from now on in order to spend them with important people and to be able to once again enjoy the Gendarmerie...I miss my spa-folk..

Shave Cream... For those of you that shave, guys and one or two of you girls...I would like to take this time to pitch a fantastic product. My friend Friend Topper is the owner/founder/creator of Gendarme Fragrances which are incredible! He just had a new formula created for a shave cream that is hands down the best I have ever tried. Better than Kiehls, better than Zirh, better than Anthony. In fact if our lord and savior Jesus H. Christ made shave cream, it would pail in comparison. Its a bit pricey($15.00 for a 4oz bottle is a 2-3 month supply), but a tiny bit goes a really long way! Buy it at www.gendarme.com send Topper an e-mail letting him know how much you love it and that I sent you! Topper@gendarme.com

Thricely...I do love alcohol. Mostly the affect it has on other people. It is a very well-known fact that the gays love their alcohol. Many have disposable income that fuels the drug and alcohol trade. While I don't partake in the drug aspect of things, I do take a stance that what you want to do to your body is 100% your choice, because it is just that...A Choice and Your Body. I do however enjoy 1 or 4 Vodka Sodas when I get out. I like how people are real, say what they feel, straight forward and to the point when they drink. Liquid courage is what I call it. I came out to my mom on the phone on September 18th, 2005 at 10:15 in the morning when I was loaded. It was week 2 of the football season and the Chargers were playing the Broncos, so i had a bit to drink. The moral of the story, is a carefree attitude comes along with the a couple beverages. So my point is, I cannot wait for next weekend to get out and socialize!

Finally, Creepy old men...I'm not sure how to feel about this one. I went to the gym this morning and was lifting weights when an old guy--now I'm not good with estimating age, but i would presume he was in his mid 130's--came up to me and stood there. I was doing independent dumb bell presses and I thought maybe he wanted to use the bench. I pulled out my ear buds sat up and said, "You need the bench?" He said, "No I am just impressed that a guy as thin as you can lift that much weight"...WTF? If I were pressing 80 Lbs per arm, I would be flattered, but, I was not. I think I was lifting 45 at that point. Generally women and twelve year old children lift 45 to warm up. So I was kinda pissed. Am I that frigging skinny that people are impressed when I can lift my arms above my head??? I wanted to turn around and tell "Mr. Burns", "Here, Catch! and throw my 45 Lb weight at him. Then I realized I was probably too weak to throw my dumb bell more than 2 feet or so. God damn it...

David is coming back form Texas today. I am looking forward to hanging out with him soon. He is a lot of fun! Can't wait, well, time to get ready for work, Happy Monday everyone!

Brandon