Thursday, October 30, 2008

Moving Day is Here!

Hell Yeah!!! Today, I woke up early helped Jeff pack, went to work, came home, helped pack some more, and am now trying to avoid helping. I just got back from picking up Jeff's car at the van rental place. Jeff and I are now the proud renters of a Token White Windowless van...
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We are going out tomorrow with the van, conveniently it is Halloween...Creepy!!! Jefferson does not understand the whole concept of white windowless vans, so I have to explain it to him. I do need to clarify that this van is being used for moving purposes. I'm tired, that is all.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

the Gayest Gym in the world...

Ok, so, those of you who have been to a 24-Hour Fitness anywhere in the nation know that they tend to e nice. No matter the size or location, they just seem to be clean and somewhat professional...Well that is not the case for the 24 Hour Fitness in West Hollywood. West Hollywood, being 60% gay has a 24 Hour Fitness that is...well...100% gay. It is essentially a glorified bathhouse and just smells of sex and filth, not in a good way either...there are signs posted throughout stating that swimsuits and pool garments are required in all wet areas... There are 5 different Jacuzzis in separate rooms, and the showers are simply a peepshow waiting to happen, again, not in a good way either. If you go upstairs, watch out for the ever-reliable old guys with their old wieners hanging out...Gross

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ted Cotrell, R.I.P.

A bit of straight talk for a second, RIP does not mean Rest In Peace, in this case, RIP means wRithe In Pain...I'm not a big Ted Cotrell fan if you could not tell, its time for the Ron Rivera Campaign to begin...

Alright enough straight stuff...So Friday is Halloween. Now as some of you are aware, Halloween in West Hollywood is NUTS when its on a Tuesday...well, this year its on Friday, I am still not sure what I am going to dress up as, but at this point, the less costume the lower my risk of arrest. Maybe its best I don't dress up...Those of you who know me well, know that me dressing up usually ends up as an indecent exposure incident sans the fines, and I'd like to keep it that way...the "no fines" part not the indecent exposure type...Here is another good costume idea, thoughts?



Hung like a horse...get it?

So I did not hear from STK today, no big deal, it just means that I need to call tomorrow and follow up. I guess it would have been nice to just have them call me. Oh well.

I am a car nut, and I love working where I work. As I was sitting at work today, a brand new MB S65 parked right out front, its my dream car. Then a Bentley GTC parks right behind it followed by a second Bentley across the street and a brand new Maseratti Gran Turismo right in front of that...roughly, $900,000 worth of automobiles within 25 feet. HOT!

If you will please direct your attention to the column on the right... I now have two followers...the venerable John Leivas and a Topher Watts, whom I don't really know. It might be Topher from Vegas/Myspace, but im not sure, anywho identify yourself! Talk at you all soon!

B

Monday, October 27, 2008

Least Entertaining Blog Ever

I would like to apologize for the lack of gripping material that will follow, but all has been semi-quiet on the "depressing and shocking" front.

I am working with the lovely and talented Marsa today, another exciting Monday!

In politics, not much has happened politically other than an SNL satire or two(yes they count as politics...they tend to be more informative than an actual Sarah Palin speech). On David Allen Grier's "Chocolate News" last night I heard a funny line. David said:



In the world of sports...My Chargers are still the most pathetically overrated team in football. Maybe the problem is the coaching staff. I know we are missing Merriman, but he was not our onlt pass rusher...

In Business news...Nah, F**k it...

Jefferson is in Washington DC until Tuesday, which happens to be our 1 year anniversary. Let's see if he remembers... hahaha

And finally, I have noticed that I have 1 blog follower...1 Thanks John. I asked that you subscribed or signed in as a follower so that I don't have pt post bulletins regarding new posts all the time. Everyone who signs up as a follower will receive a free prize from me!! Could be crisp new C-note, could be a "thank you note" who knows? Its worth the risk.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Thanks Mommy!

Fruitful news is abound, I spoke to my future landlord, and he is still my future landlord. Secondly, I am appreciative of my Momma who issued a "Government Bailout" of my account! So I am operating on loaned cash, and a prayer...Hmmmm, sounds familiar? Sounds like our entire economy? I bet I'm back on my feet quicker than the economy...You know why? I am not completely deregulated...I am not allowed to spend money I don't have...Interesting, what a peculiar way of doing business...

Last night, as I am sure EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU is aware was Saturday night. Here is a quick synopsis of my Saturday eve...

7pm: ran a system restore on my old-ass computer

8pm: took Jeff to the Airport

8:30pm: Walked the damn dog

9pm: Texted Tim to see if he still had plans...yes

9:15pm: Texted Nareth to see if he was still going home..yes

9:30pm: Cursed myself for not having more friends...

10pm: Watched a "House" marathon

12am: Bed...Boo

Well, at least the Charger game is on right now...*sigh*

Happy Birthday Adam!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Some more comic videos for your enjoyment.

I love the Onion!!!


Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate?


John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight



Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas

And finally, the worst of all...



Gunman Kills 15 Potential Voters In Crucial Swing State

Why I hate everything...And why everything hates me in return...

I went online this morning to check my bank account balance. I was expecting to see about $50 bucks or so in my checking account. I know I'm cutting it close, but thats just what I do. Well it turns out that my future house mate decided to cash my POST-DATED(for Nov. 1st) 1st months rent check. Well, that Over-drafted me account for $35, which took me to $15, then my $19 EFT for my defunct gym membership, and overdraft, makes it -$39 and to top it off, a $1.60 parking garage fee from almost a week ago that just now went through and a $35 dollar overdraft fee, makes it a whopping -$75++ balance...Ah, well there goes my budget...Damnit...I hate BofA and I cannot be more broke...now i need to transfer money that I need to be saving and will continue to be broke for another 2 weeks, not too mention, if my landlord is pissed about the returned check(even though it was post dated and I told him not to cash it until the 1st), I might be out of a place too...Wow, its getting interesting, and I'm not really sure I want it to be this interesting, if anyone wants to donate to my cause, they are more than welcome! Haha Well, lets hope this potential new job works out, or I might just be blogging from my car!

A couple of great videos...



AND....


Dancing Queen...

Worked today at noon until five...nothing special, what is really special about today were two things...

1. I had a second interview at STK steakhouse and I think it went great. The manager Jason that I talked to said that I was highly recommended by the original manager I interviewed with. By the end of the interview, he said that if I don't hear from him by Tuesday, to give him a call and he will get me on the schedule!!! So Excited. He also said that there is no such thing as a slow night for tips and that even on Mondays and Tuesdays, it is packed and fast-paced. I love it too, check out the website, this place is sick!!! stkla.com

and...

2. I went out dancing tonight...yes dancing...just for a couple hours but it felt good. None of this self-concious, people are watching attitude, I just thought, let it happen, everyone else looks ridiculous too!!! Fun Fun Fun!!!

Alright, bed time!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Is Mache really that good?

I had a dream last night, and I hoping that one of my 6 readers knows how to interpret dreams...

I was at my grandmas house with my Mom, Dad and older brother Chris, no grandparents in sight. I sat down for dinner and when the salad got to me, it was gone, no mache, I love mache... I was so mad i screamed at my Dad and Brother and told my mom "These son's of bitches ate all the mache." I then stormed to the kitchen slumped down against some cupboards and started crying. Then I woke up with teary eyes...WHAT THE HELL?

So if anyone has any interpretations they are welcome...Nareth says that its my mind telling me that its time to be a vegetarian...I think not. But really Mache or lamb's ear lettuce as its called is pretty tasty...

News broke last night about Sarah Palin spending $125,000 of RNC funds at Neiman Marcus and other retailers on clothes for her family. Hmmmm, John Edward's reimbursed $400 haircut does not seem so bad anymore now does it?

Also, I am going to play drudge report right now, apparently news just broke about a school shooting on the campus of Western Kentucky in Bowling Green, Ky. They are evacuating the campus and reports of as many as 4 heavily armed gunmen and shots fired, no news on casualties yet...

Thanks for reading, here is your halloween costume of the day:

Update on my living situation...

I went over to my new place today and dropped of my 1st months rent check off, and now i am brokety-broke broke! I am not sure how I am going to make it until I get paid again on the 1st of November...We'll see what happens...And to further the monetary shit-ness of my situation, 'i lost 20 bucks today at Home Depot, thats like enough to live off of for a week!!!! DAMNIT! Someone send me money. Haha

In other news, Obama leads in every major poll by at least 8 points, some as many as 14...SWEET John McCain is going to wake up tomorrow morning and have to change his diapers when he sees this! Sarah Palin, well, there are no presidential polls in Highlights and Zoo News magazines that you read, but I'm sure someone will tell you. Oh and ask them about the role of the VP since you still have not been able to find the answer yourself...

Joe Biden, John Kerry and Barney Frank need to stop talking also. The only way that Obama loses this race is by democrats saying dumb shit...Not a good start guys, SHUT UP!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Mc Fat-Ass with a side of Belly Flab

So I had an English Muffin this morning for breakfast...just one, not 7. I'm hungry now. I was just going to deal with it and have a nice big turkey sandwich and salad for lunch, in an hour, but Marsa called, she is at McDonalds on her way back here now...Damnit...Now I have two McChicken Sandwiches with a small french fries headed right to my big old butt! Getting in shape is not as easy as it sounds, but hey, Pear is a shape right?

In addition, the very next person who reads this will be my 4th visitor since I launched this heap of meaningless nothings a couple weeks back...Screw you guys, I'll keep writing, I don't need any readers, this shit is therapeutic for me... :) alright, so not the 4th, but realistically, my 3rd visitor today will be the 500th visitor total! In only two weeks! Thats like 497 more people than I know! Oh, foods here, Fat man stretch pants here I come!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Back into the swing of things...

I left San Diego this morning and headed back up to Los Angeles. Friday and Saturday night, I was reminded of all that I have left behind. I had the most fun that I have had in a long time. From Friday night at Paul's new house to the matrimonial antics of yesterday--details to follow--it was simply a good time had by all!

I got to Escondido on Friday afternoon and took a short siesta before heading up to Paul's parent's place in Valley Center. When I arrived, it was a mad house. LOTS of people. People that I had met in passing somewhere along the way and people that I knew very well. We hung out up there for a while and after a few hours, decided that a return to civilization is warranted...so we headed down the hill to Escondido...and yes Escondido is civilization...back off...

We went to Paul's place and had your token ceremonial, shot of Jameson's and a Bud Light...Delicious! I ate some pretzels, made fun of Paul's Dog, called Jordan gay, pretended not to dislike Catholics, and generally offended all of Paul's cousins with talk of "Faggotry and Queerology." I decided to call it a night.

Scene 2:

1:00PM Resurrection Church, Escondido

I pull up to the front of the church and notice a large contingency of hispanics and my thoughts are as follows...
1. Paul and Kat are having a shared wedding ceremony in order to save money to pay for the hosted bar at the reception.
2. Paul invited all of his groundskeepers friends from Pauma Valley.
3. I am a racist bigoted ass-hole who cannot help but think that 1 or 2 are both very likely scenarios...

I'll let you decide, so after the early crowd disappeared and I began seeing people that I knew I went to say hello. They all said the same thing..."Brandon, you're this close to the altar of god and you have not burst into flames yet?" My response..."Eat my ass with a spoon, its funny when I say it, not when you say it ass-hole..." So after all the "pomp and circumstance" of a wedding ceremony we got down to business and headed to the Country Club for the reception...I was the sober driver when tragedy struck...we walked in and Laura looked at me with a look of dismay on her face...with that she said 2 words that changed my world forever, "Open Bar" So moving forward about 4 hours, I was dancing, yes dancing, dancing hard, I mean like "Bustin' A Move, Young MC style!" I have bruises up and down my thighs and I am really not sure where they came from. I slow danced with Nancy, laura's Mom, what a lovely lady! And then may have had a cigar and then potentially danced more(Based on the bruise count). By the way, who the hell gets bruised while dancing, am I really that much of a health hazzard?

After the reception had ceased and I sobered up we went to Padraic's and played shuffle board, Hookah, Poker, Tiger Woods Golf and found other ways to dismantle the remaining structures of dignity in our lives. What a blast, I took about 200 pics and will post them on myspace soon enough...Happy Sunday All! Fuck the Chargers! :)

Friday, October 17, 2008

South Bound...

So I just got to San Diego about 2 hours ago and have been searching for a dry-cleaner that will have my suit done by tomorrow, no luck. Of the 4 places that I know, 2 are closed down, and one woman did not speak english...slightly frustrating.

So I am officially homeless for the first time in my life. I am completely moved out of John's place and am not moving into my place until November 1st. I'm a touch depressed right now, I am used to having some stability in my life and now their seems like none. I am in a rough patch in just about every aspect of my life right now except my job. Of course the job barely pays the bills right now, but hey, everyone struggles at some point, maybe it'll build some character for me! Haha

Nareth and went to Fubar last night, fun times, a nice breath of fresh air from reality. The crowd was the usual, unattractive, fake and pompous...yes pompous...at Fubar...I know, its ridiculous, but I'm just calling it as I see it. I am starting to learn the value of friends in a whole different way. I always knew that I had the best friends in the world down here, and was always proud to talk about them, but now, I am realizing just how important they actually are. I am very thankful for the friends that I have in WeHo, they make my life easier by doing nothing at all.

Halloween is coming up, I am going to start to post images of Halloween costumes that I am looking into, I would like some input, feel free to comment. Also I am thinking about taking up a collection to fill my coffers...any donors?

Halloween Costume # 1:


I think dressing as Sarah Palin might garner some mixed reviews...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Courtesy of Nareth

Jon Stewart might be the most educated pundit left...not saying mush, I know...

Last day and a couple quotes...

I went to the gym today. Its the last time I'll be able to walk there for a while seeing that I am moving. Bummer. I worked out extra hard. I had three songs on repeat the entire time and pushed hard I felt like a jock in a sweaty gym then I realized that I was a skinny gay man in a glorified bathhouse...haha...I even did 30 minutes of cardio to go along with it. I feel alive right now, I know it sounds tacky, but I am full of energy and ready to move the rest of my house.

I'm heading to San Diego this weekend for Paul and Kat's wedding. Jefferson is not able to make it both days so I am looking for a fill-in date! Hit me up if you want to go!

Ok, packing and then work...Have a lovely day everyone...

Some Quotes:

"I don't want to say put lipstick on a pig, that's sexist, So instead, how can we put perfume on this turd." Jon Stewart

"Your like the Jesus of Carpentry."
"Oh Bart, thats such a sweet Blasphemy" Marge Simpson

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Day in review...

So today was as busy as predicted, I accomplished everything that I needed to just a little more packing and storing. I need to take one more load of stuff over to the storage place tomorrow morning, but thats not too bad.

When I was driving to the storage place this afternoon I saw a freshly T-Boned Scaglietti. Sad...very sad, my favorite "Non-Mercedes" car.

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Usually driven by old Persian men, the driver of the wrecked vehicle as a little blonde bimbo...wait until the green light dip stick...

Great Video, Another reason to hate the Yankees...


Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons

Monday, October 13, 2008

Sooooo much to do...

So tomorrow is an off day, but I'm not actually off. I need to be up at 6, gym at 6:30-7:30 back by 8, clean and pack from 8-9:30, shower and get ready for John's Landlord to do her walk-through... then waiting for fed ex to take his remaining bags, then over to Public storage on Citrus to drop off three or four boxes. Soooo much, also, I think I may have sent a creepy text tonight, like potentially stalker status...oooops! hahaha Alright, I hope you all have a great night!

Brandon

A Familiar Orange-Glow

I provided some listening music at the bottom of this post...PLAY IT...I woke up this morning to a familiar orange glow outside my window. Turns out to be The remnants of a fire burning 25 miles north of Los Angeles...of course the only news that you can find is about the fire that is threatening 25 homes in the mountains north. It reminds me how shitty national media coverage is. In 2007 during October in one of the most widespread destructive fires in California History, we could only get coverage of fires burning in Los Angeles? WTF...Nearly half of the city of San Diego, 650,000 people had been evacuated and 2378 buildings destroyed in just San Diego, compared to 300 in Los Angeles, and we cannot get any coverage? Slightly LA centrist right? Well, I guess the only good thing to come out of this is that I'm in West LA now...Not to have to knock on wood, but The only thing over here that can burn is concrete...I like my odds.

So other than natural Disasters, I would like to point out that MY San Diego Chargers won yesterday...For all you gays, they are a football team...Also, thanks to the repeat function in Timmy's Car I have Leona Lewis on the brain...and a little bit of Kings of Leon...My voice is raspy, and I like to sing along to my music, so I'm really not sure what the neighbors think when they hear "Yeeeeeooh, This sex is on Fiiiiire..." over and over. Obviously the only words that I know...I don't know maybe they were used to hearing things like that when John was here... :) If you listened to my directions at the top of the page, you are probably addicted now too...

So I work today from 10-5, kinda excited about that, I like my lady friends at work, they are "Urbanizing" me its great! Hahaha, I work with Marlene today, pretty tall Swedish girl with a lovely accent. She is teaching me the beauty of Socialism! I heart Sweden.

I have been in a really weird mood over the last 4 or 5 days. I think I'm having companion withdrawals, Jeff's back though so hopefully we can hang out tonight...

Toodles

Kings of Leon:

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Great Read, long, but so worth it...

By Tim Wise

Tim Wise's ZSpace Page / ZSpace
http://www.timwise.org/

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're Black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of
Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Nareth's 26th birthday...

Last night at Nareth's Birthday party, which I'd like to point out was 7 miles away from Butt F*** Egypt...Arcadia or something, I think its in Utah, but I'm not sure...Anywho, we had a good time. I forced Tim to hang out with me because the only thing that I have ever gotten from Nareth's other friends are cold stares. Its my fault too, I have not gone out of my way to get to know them, I'm sure they are nice and I look forward to getting to know them, but anyways, we did the beer and food thing, kicked ass at interactive trivia, and I mean seriously kicked ass. We found one of those old Daytona linked up car games, and Tim, Nareth, Kevin(Who I highly approve of!!!) and myself went at it...I was in last. I did not quite fit right in the damn seat and my foot was stuck on the drivers pedal... no brakes, full throttle the whole time...All in all it was fun times!

On the drive home, Tim and had a good talk about expectations of "the community" and depression and coping that people experience in the couple years after they come out. Also of topic was the importance of friends in this time, and how they might be a person's best asset. It made me think that as rough as it got for me a little while back I was glad that I had really good friends who knew me for who and what I am instead of just some homo. Family is vital, but at this age no one understands you as well as your friends do. Everywhere I have gone I have had a solid core of friends, and I am very dependent on them. This is the first time that I feel slightly "friend-less." I have Jefferson who means the world to me, and then John (Jefferson and my Marriage counselor) Tim and Nareth (who are both busy bodies) who both mean more to me than they know, and the Gendarmerie crowd. Its getting better, but its tough going from being surrounded by people to being alone. It'll get better though!

Alright enough sentimental BS...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A 3,649 Lb orgasm...

Timmy texts me this AM and wanted to see about grabbing breakfast, I was doing nothing but moping around in John's absence, so I said okay. He picked me up in his new car, a 2009 C63 AMG. 451 Horsepower! And with Tim behind the wheel, my life expectancy fell through the floor. After breakfast we went to check out an apartment for me, I think I want it, more about that later, now back to this 4000Lb hunk of hot sex that Tim's piloting. We went up Beverly Glen and took sunset west through Brentwood, Pacific Palisades all the way to PCH. Russell always used to talk about driving up and down the PCH in a Canary Yellow Porche, so I guess this was my dream. Hugging corners and taking 25MPH turns at 80 while the seats grip you from the side and the car grinds into the ground to maintain control...HOT!! Sorry Jefferson, I'm leaving you for a Benz, don't worry, it has four holes in the back plenty to go around! Relax, I'm just kidding...

Photobucket

Strange feelings...

Last night was John's last night in LA til February or around their...Sad times, so we wen out with a bang...We started early since John had a car coming for him at 5:15 in the morning.

We met Timmy at Fiesta and had a beverage or two and talked about the impracticality of Timmy's new Benz C63 in a city like LA, (but secretly I was lusting after his car...I have man excitement in my pants for Mercedes...) then we walked over to The Abbey and made fun of people including look-alikes of Mr. Clean, Aaron Neville, Richard Dreyfus and a 4'8" Gene Simmons...We justify making fun of these "people" because I am sure they are doing the same about 6'10" John, gangly/pasty me and pretty boy Timmy.

When we got their Jesse and Dana, the Abbey "Hosts with the most" greeted us with ice cold beverages of unknown origins...so 4 or 5 drinks later, 1AM rolled around and John said "Fuck, I am on a plane in 5 hours..." so we hugged and said our goodbyes and he walked home leaving Tim and I to battle the uglies by ourselves...We went looking for his friends at Fiesta again could not find them and then decided to call it a night, instead of walking back to my place and sobering up, Timmy had the great idea to crash in his car. I was exhausted and it seemed like a logical idea, plus it was FREEZING!!! I would guesstimate 50 degrees or so. Tim drove his other car, a Benz GL 450 so it was roomy and comfy, just laid my seat back and out like a light...

I woke up to tapping on the glass I looked up and was relieved that it was not a cop it was a young woman bundled up i rolled down my window and here is our conversation:

Crack Whore (CW): It's cold can I please sit in the car with you.
Me: No we were just getting ready to leave.
CW: Can I sleep on your couch.
Me: Um, not gonna happen...
CW: Why not I'll even sleep on the floor.
Me: (at this point I started thinking am I just dreaming this shit up?) Sorry, thats not going to happen either
CW: What the fuck why not, I'll sleep anywhere, can you just loan me some money then?
Me: Look I am staying with a friend, I just relocated from San Diego, I don't have any money
CW: You lived in San Diego, you have money for booze and you're in a Mercedes. (Then the fool actually grabbed the door handle and tried to get in...in the words of a brilliant statesman, "I pity da fool")

So Tim sat up and peeled out...

What I should have said is "Listen bitch, I moved here from San Diego with no money, no house and a quarter tank of gas, I am working my ass off for nothing certain, I am homeless in 4 days, can't find a second job, starting to feel hung-over and developing an insatiable urge to slap the silly shit right out of you if you don't turn your lilly-white powdered-up ass around and get far enough away that I can't smell your sad desperate attempt to score your next fix..."

But instead I said "Tim." yup, thats it, just "Tim." of course there was a Please drive away now connotation, but I don't know if it was heard or not... And then I went to bed.

I miss John already, now its time to get in shape, he was here for two weeks and it was like a two week vacation from the gym and everything healthy but it was fun!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Cool Video sent by Bill

Click the link, I think it works...Also, just to give some perspective about the 4 exabytes mentioned at 3:15 in...Well that number looks like this...

40,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes, or in common terms... 40 Trillion Mega Bytes...Slightly insane...

http://release.theplatform.com/content.select?pid=x7aVOMrlfkkijQwcLllwk6WjB5JE0zrF

KFC remnants and Ink

So I normally don't do stuff like this but that KFC binge last night put my body on a "High Risk Terrorist Alert." After an epic trip to the bathroom, I decided to document my experience in case I ever needed to reference it...Below is the picture of my deposit to Porcelain National Bank...Viewer beware, graphic...






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I can explain the chicken...but the rancher, I have no freaking idea...

While we were cleaning John decided to take a break and attempt to stain a pair of jeans that were too faded. So we filled a tub with water and fountain pen ink and then mannaged to successfully stain them. We used an empty magnum bottle of 1999 J Champagne to mix it...Ghetto Fabulous...

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Still Cleaning though, hopefully the Abbey will be lovely tonight!

Rants...

So John is leaving tomorrow morning at 5:15 in the morning then I am responsible for the finishing touches here. So although I am off, I am busy. Work was fun yesterday, worked with Marsa and Keisha, love em! Sold a few memberships, made some money, now i need to sell more!!! I worked late and then headed out at about 7Pm or so to meet John at Koo-Koo-Roo. Santa Monica was a cluster fuck and healthy food was sounding less and less appetizing. We ended up going to KFC and ordering about $15.00 of food each...The line that sealed the night...

Me: "We need to walk to CVS and get some more toilet paper, we're running low."
John: "Are we completely out?"
Me: "Yeah, and I got an entire KFC Chicken Coop knockin' at my door..."

I now give you a moment to digest...

So last night was entertaining, theres a bar in West Hollywood called Fubar...Fubar, on thursday nights is affectionately known as "Big C**k Night." Way to further stereotype the gay community right? So Fubar is a dirty disgusting hell hole, think Pounder's to those of you from Escondido, there is nothing quaint, charming or good that happens here...The Gogo dancers are somewhat easy on the eyes, but the bar is so steamy and "foggy" that you cannot see them anyways. One gimmick of "Big C**K Night" is the "C**k for a Shot" promotion. Show your junk to the bartenders, get a shot...my response...not quite sanitary...We were there long enough to enjoy two rounds of $11.00 weak(by the Abbey's standards) Vodka sodas, and then we started walking back. We decided to stop in at O-Bar on the way back and as soon as week walked in the Bartenders all blew their whistles and a 5:00 countdown showed up on the screen...OPEN BAR FOR 5:00 and there were only about 20 people in their. John and I drank like we were poor college students living off of a stipend from mom and dad that paid rent and utilities...we had three rounds in the five minutes and then decided to call it a night...

Woke up this AM at about 7:00 to a text from Jimmy Chen saying that he had been robbed, I was concerned for a moment, I was not sure if he had been mugged or what, but apparently they just broke into his friends car. PEOPLE SUCK!!! So I went back to sleep for about 30 minutes then John cheerfully (bastard, don't know how he does it!!!) woke me up to start cleaning.

I got a message from Allyson Roach, my brother's soon to be wife regarding the "Fly-on-the-wall" effect of this blog. That was nice so i turned around and wrote a ridiculous emotional letter back to her and feel a lot better that I got a lot out there! For any of you who know my brother, you know that he deserves the best, and I think he found it...So enough emotional crap, thats where we are now...I had fun last night, it was nice to kinda put life on hold for a bit, but it really made me think. I have my priorities in order...I used to think that it was my duty to go out and spend lots of money at the bars on the weekends, and now I just kinda feel that it is a privilage and is done in moderation. I might be "Barred-Out" this weekend.

Oh, and in other news, my Aunt Betty died on Wednesday. Kinda sad, cool lady, kinda a quack, but she did live a looooong 80 something years. This is the woman who told us that she used to drink nail polish remover at the old folks home because it worked better than booze...yeah, a looooong 80 years...

Okay, thats all, off the to grove with John

I miss you Jefferson

RIP BLB

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Some Gripes...

So yesterday I was driving to work and I was behind a sky blue Bentley Continental GT. Woman driver...multi-tasking woman driver...phone in left hand with a cigarette between here middle and forefinger, and a coffee in the right...The "Betcha I Can Turn Here" We will call her B.I.C.T.H. for short...hmmm, bicth...interesting(kinda an FCUK effect eh?...anywho, my thoughts:

1. Thats definitely her car, she is a busy multi-tasking woman in professional attire. She does not need a man to but her shit.

2. I want a sky blue Bentley Continental GT

3. Get of the phone and drive bitch!!!

4. Jesus Christ, B.I.C.T.H. just curbed her car...

Yes thats right she made a right turn about 3 feet too early...her tires did not actually go up on the curb, they simply hit and drug against the curb around the corner. So now her pretty little shiny wheels are all FCUKed up. (Side note: I don't actually like French connection(FCUK) just the name...so witty!)

Anyways, enough ranting onto my life. I went in for my job interview and met Travis. I think it went rather well. He did not seem extremely excited, but based on what John has told me he is a mellow guy. I am just used to people in the restaurant business being slightly nutty! Work was fine, I have hit the glass ceiling below the poverty line it seems, but realistically, its a job it pays the bills that I have and that is what i need it to do. I am hoping that I can land this second restaurant job in order to prevent me with sharing a couch with 14 other people, or relocating as mentioned before. If anyone out their wants to rent me a room for cheap, I'm accepting applications and $35.00 fees for background checks starting immediately! haha

Onto last night, T-Fong and I went out to Fiesta Cantina last night after I took Jeff to the airport, good times were had, the uglies were abound, I felt right at home! I am not sure where you can get 2 Double Vodka Sodas in LA for $14.00. Jackpot! It was karaoke night, and an amusing crowd as usual. No talent in the house though. Tim was fiend-ing over this guy in a flannel shirt who was so drunk he thought he was a Madonna back-up dancer. He was attractive but so far gone, he could barely talk. As usual, Tim in his brazen ways just walked up and started chatting. We left 10 minutes later. Not an exciting story but my life in a nut shell. Summary: BICTH curbs car, I need a job/house, Tim likes drunks...Done

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Update to Day #1

I had my interview today at the restaurant that I wrote about earlier. I think it went well, but only time will tell. Talk to you all soon!

B

Day One

So today is Tuesday the 6th, no 7th of October. Last night, I came to a realization. I am borderline a deadbeat right now. I don't pay rent, I have $4500 in debt I'm trying to pay off and I live in a city where the average rent for 1 bedroom is $1300. I am out of the current living situation on the 15th and am in search of something new, and something cheap, because for what I am making an hour I cannot afford a broke dick. I am tired, frustrated, under-worked, under-stimulated and starting to really feel lost in it all. This shoudl be interesting. I might have wanted to name these rants, the self-destruction of a 26 year old gay man. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm gay? This poses quite the problem because anywhere that we can live where we are not maligned is so ri-god-damn-diculously expensive that you have to pay a thousand bucks a month to have your own room. This is not even the most expensive one out there...Think I'm kidding: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/roo/869541788.html

My day today should be interesting, I get to go to work at 12, leave work at 2:45 for a job interview for a second job, return to work immediately after it is all over and then I'm done at 8 or so. Not too weird, but heres the complication...I had a dream last night, normally my dreams are fantastic, vivid and surreal. This one was not that at all. It was depressing, realistic and slightly eerie. It was eye-opening in short. Let me tell you why. I came out when I was at school on September 11th 2005. I had the best friends I could have asked for up there, and they ALL supported me 100%. It was not enough though, I left Davis after my next quarter on December 16th 2005 I was depressed and did not even know how to explain it. I still don't to this day. If you have come out before, then you almost certainly understand that feeling you get in the first year...anyways, so I left school and finished up at SDSU over the next two semesters. This was a stupid decision but at the time I needed to do it. My dream was of me returning to Davis to work on a post-baccalaureate program which is something that I really want to do. Here is why it is realistic. I have no house, and am struggling to find one, I have minimal obligations, and am struggling to find those too and finally my job is fun, but not realistically supportive...Therefore I really do not have anything other than the best partner I could have asked for and a clutch of close friends...This was the same situation I was in when I left Davis, sans the partner...I am lost and hope this Job Interview goes well today, at least it will give me some form of direction.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this could get turbulent...