As mentioned in my previous blog, Tim and I went out.
I called Tim at about 8PM because I had not heard of anything going on and Tim said that he may want to go out. I said, "Tim, Come Out and Play! I need someone to save me from myself." Haha, but no really, that is definitely a partial truth.
I have been nothing short of a psychopath for the last couple weeks and I needed a change of pace. Work has really taken a lot out of me as well as life outside of work, etc... Draining, physically and emotionally. Yesterday was my first day off from the gym since the 4th and Friday was my first full day off of work in that same time period. I have become quite the introvert, and for those of you who have known me for a long time, an introvert is not the best way to describe me. Soooooo anyways...
Tim and I were not really sure where we were going to go, soooo Tim put his sexy car(See a 3649Lb Orgasm post) on auto-pilot and we ended up parking at the Abbey. Hmmm, Weird, the Abbey?
We grabbed a drink and made fun of some older gentleman whom finds it fitting to wear his sunglasses at night, in a bar...and if you are blind and use them as eye shields, my apologies...but yeah, we kinda milled around for a bit and looked at people...errr...Well I frantically searched for a pretty face and Tim stared at "Barman" until i had to wipe the drool off of his chin. There was one pretty face in a (couldn't actually tell)light blue/lavender/teal/aquamarine/sea foam green/mint green/turquoise colored shirt with a really neat tattoo on his arm. He was there with his also attractive friend and a lady friend. I kinda made quick eye contact but, being the pansy that I am, I looked away quickly and pretended to ignore him. Smooth...Jesus I suck...We got our drinks from "Barman" and headed into the adjacent room where they followed us, stood there for five minute, RIGHT NEXT TO US, STARED AT US, and still, all I could do was look at Tim and talk about something totally stupid, like (Here comes my George Cleveland Shout-out) Zoroastrianism, the 1985 Danny White led Dallas Cowboys, Vanna White, or other supercilious topics. I need to work on my "game". Maybe I will take another trip to Inglewood and have one of my homies teach me how to "Holler at dem hoes"...
Anyways, Tim and I moved on and were standing at the front and saw Phil and said hello. I turned around to find Tim and he was gone, just like that. He had been abducted by an absolutely smashed foreign couple who were slow-dancing to a different beat. Tim, kinda looked at me with that, "Please God Strike Me Dead So This Will Stop" kind of look and called me over then I got sucked in. The couple had their arms around Tim and I and the lady was getting frisky. We escaped just in time as the couple started making out. It was only 1:30 but Timothy was tired and I was getting inexplicably grumpy. I guess it just comes with old age, so we headed out. I needed a night out without any pressure or stress and I got it. I feel as refreshed as a hung-over person might expect to feel.
I was supposed to go wine tasting today for a few friends birthdays but I really was not in the mood to get into my car and drive to SD by myself. I asked a few people to go, but none of them seemed too enthused about it, so I kinda stopped pursuing it. Cut your losses right? Alright all, enjoy the rest of your weekend!
B
Showing posts with label Gym. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gym. Show all posts
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Resolutions
I have spent the last couple days, when I have not been busy with work, bachelor parties, weddings etc. compiling a short list of resolutions that I would like to make for a better 2009. Some of them are realistic, some are not realistic and some of them have already been tossed out the window. I have characterized them as the "Good(likely to be followed)" the "Bad(fat chance)" and the "Ugly(ooops, too late)".
Enjoy!
THE GOOD(Highly Likely)
1. I want to get in shape. Since returning from China I have lost 26Lbs via watching what I eat and 4-5 times a week gym trips. Those of you who have seen me before may notice, but on a 6'4" frame 26 Lbs is not a lot. I weigh in at 182Lbs right now and would like to stay there, while reducing my body fat % which I assume is about 346%. Meech and I got a kick out of a show on LOGO called Rick and Steve, where they referred to someone as being "Skinny Fat". We decided that we were both "Skinny Fat". We chuckled and then got depressed, haha. I resolve to maintain my gym schedule and have the necessary yet gay cliche six pack by the end of February.
2. I have had a history of getting myself into trouble when drunk. Nothing too serious, since the 1st(and only) annual "Gobble-de-Gook Sprint(if you don't know, ask someone from Davis)". However I have, over the last year, developed a nasty habit of Drunk texting/calling/e-mailing that has gotten me into trouble, a lot. I need help on this one. If we are all laughing/happy/drunk and I am on my phone in a corner someone intervene!! Do me a favor and rip it out of my hands. I resolve to no longer bury myself in my phone when I have been imbibing...
3. I want spend more quality time with friends. I have a couple friends up here, some new some old. When I hang out with those friends I get Euphoric. I am a happier person and feel like I am on top of the world. I don't know why I am like this, maybe I just subconsciously seek their approval, but whatever. All I know is that being around this handful of people is better than any high I have ever had. I resolve to allow my friendships to blossom at their own speed, and to take advantage of the time I have with this handful of people.
THE BAD(A Tad Bit Less Likely)
1. I would like to cut alcohol, or at least most of it out of my diet and budget. At $14/drink for a drink with 3-4 ounces of booze, The abbey is a bad influence on my waistline and my budget. The Abbey among others is a perfect example of an opportunistic merchant. Gays tend to be depressed, therefore they drink. They also tend to have disposable income and actually budget for weekly alcohol expenses. Most of the time this budget allowance comes out of the food fund. Who needs to eat when you can be on a diet of Methamphetamine, Camel Lights and Vodka. No wonder thay are all so skinny! I'm glad I'm not THAT gay...I resolve to not spend more than $20 a night when I go out and to not go out more than twice weekly maximum.
2. I would like to get my own place, or at least my own bedroom. David Just got a sweet deal last week on a place in my neighborhood, and it is definitely within reach. I love my living situation right now, roomies are great, rent is fairly cheap, but realistically, nothing beats having your own room. This is where the second job comes in. With a second job my options will expand greatly. I resolve to put myself in the position to find my own room within by April.
3. I would like to get a second job. I am not bored with the one that I have, in fact I really do enjoy it, however, I need to take advantage of the fact that I have lots of free time and no one or nothing to really spend it on or with. David had suggested that I get a hobby. But hobbies are expensive. Therefore a second job, maybe bartending 10-20 hours a week would be lovely. I resolve to make a valid effort to seek out additional employment.
4. This goes hand in hand with the one about staying in shape. I would love to spoil my body. This means weekly massage and steam room trips 4-5 times a week. I have access to the massage at work and I have access to the steam at Toppers. I just need to stop coming up with excuses on why I cannot treat myself more often. I resolve to take advantage of the benefits that I have.
THE UGLY(Probably Already Broken)
1. I drive too fast. I have always driven too fast. I might continue to drive too fast. If the freeway is empty and it is late at night, I have no qualms about getting from point A to B at 100mph. I know it is stupid, but the risk is low. If I am tired or there are other cars on the road, I sit in the mid lanes at 70mph. I do not drive recklessly with other people in my car. When there is someone else in my car, they are my responsibility. Timmy got into a fender bender recently and has since then put a sign in his car that reads "Slow Down!" The reason that this is an "Ugly" resolution is because it has already been broken multiple times. I drive like a maniac, and every time I don't consciously think about slowing down, I look at my speedometer and see lots of big numbers...
2. This applies to #2 in the "Good" resolution section. I have already sent out a couple of idiotic emails, texts and voicemails. The reason that I put this up there and down here is because I'd like to characterize this as something completely different. I belong to a club, and I am the only member. I am the President of DCA, the Drunk Communicators Anonymous. I have fallen off the wagon a few times already and will most likely continue, but I just gotta get back on the wagon! haha
NO MORE DRUNK COMMUNICATIONS!
THE UGLIER(Not a Snowballs Chance in Hell)
1. I would like to think I could stop getting into "Skirmishes" with the elderly, seeing as how I went to the gym this morning and could barely walk on my "'Geriatrically' Assaulted" heels. But this one is out of my control. I have so far been called a "queer" by "Father Time" at Trader Joe's in West Hollywood, A "Big Bald Asshole" by this salt and peppered nut job on Santa Monica, and my most recent run-in with this Yiddish squawking crow at Walgreens. And this is all since the beginning of September!!! I think this one is really out of my hands. I need to wear a shirt that says "I karate chop the elderly" for intimidation purposes.
Oh and speaking of "Walgreens Hussy", I wrote the story and got 14 texts messages from friends who read it say things like, and I quote, "I totally though you would have kcked(sp) the old biddy's ass" and "I could just see you knocking her in the face with your gallon of milk" and, my personal favorite "...i imagine you had a VERY tough decision to make there...there's something about clocking the battleaxe that would be severely satisfying..." REALLY??? Do I come across as the kind of person that smacks around the youth challenged? I hope not...Hope y'all have a lovely Monday. I'm out...
If I can think of anymore I will post them. Anyone else have any fun resolutions?
Enjoy!
THE GOOD(Highly Likely)
1. I want to get in shape. Since returning from China I have lost 26Lbs via watching what I eat and 4-5 times a week gym trips. Those of you who have seen me before may notice, but on a 6'4" frame 26 Lbs is not a lot. I weigh in at 182Lbs right now and would like to stay there, while reducing my body fat % which I assume is about 346%. Meech and I got a kick out of a show on LOGO called Rick and Steve, where they referred to someone as being "Skinny Fat". We decided that we were both "Skinny Fat". We chuckled and then got depressed, haha. I resolve to maintain my gym schedule and have the necessary yet gay cliche six pack by the end of February.
2. I have had a history of getting myself into trouble when drunk. Nothing too serious, since the 1st(and only) annual "Gobble-de-Gook Sprint(if you don't know, ask someone from Davis)". However I have, over the last year, developed a nasty habit of Drunk texting/calling/e-mailing that has gotten me into trouble, a lot. I need help on this one. If we are all laughing/happy/drunk and I am on my phone in a corner someone intervene!! Do me a favor and rip it out of my hands. I resolve to no longer bury myself in my phone when I have been imbibing...
3. I want spend more quality time with friends. I have a couple friends up here, some new some old. When I hang out with those friends I get Euphoric. I am a happier person and feel like I am on top of the world. I don't know why I am like this, maybe I just subconsciously seek their approval, but whatever. All I know is that being around this handful of people is better than any high I have ever had. I resolve to allow my friendships to blossom at their own speed, and to take advantage of the time I have with this handful of people.
THE BAD(A Tad Bit Less Likely)
1. I would like to cut alcohol, or at least most of it out of my diet and budget. At $14/drink for a drink with 3-4 ounces of booze, The abbey is a bad influence on my waistline and my budget. The Abbey among others is a perfect example of an opportunistic merchant. Gays tend to be depressed, therefore they drink. They also tend to have disposable income and actually budget for weekly alcohol expenses. Most of the time this budget allowance comes out of the food fund. Who needs to eat when you can be on a diet of Methamphetamine, Camel Lights and Vodka. No wonder thay are all so skinny! I'm glad I'm not THAT gay...I resolve to not spend more than $20 a night when I go out and to not go out more than twice weekly maximum.
2. I would like to get my own place, or at least my own bedroom. David Just got a sweet deal last week on a place in my neighborhood, and it is definitely within reach. I love my living situation right now, roomies are great, rent is fairly cheap, but realistically, nothing beats having your own room. This is where the second job comes in. With a second job my options will expand greatly. I resolve to put myself in the position to find my own room within by April.
3. I would like to get a second job. I am not bored with the one that I have, in fact I really do enjoy it, however, I need to take advantage of the fact that I have lots of free time and no one or nothing to really spend it on or with. David had suggested that I get a hobby. But hobbies are expensive. Therefore a second job, maybe bartending 10-20 hours a week would be lovely. I resolve to make a valid effort to seek out additional employment.
4. This goes hand in hand with the one about staying in shape. I would love to spoil my body. This means weekly massage and steam room trips 4-5 times a week. I have access to the massage at work and I have access to the steam at Toppers. I just need to stop coming up with excuses on why I cannot treat myself more often. I resolve to take advantage of the benefits that I have.
THE UGLY(Probably Already Broken)
1. I drive too fast. I have always driven too fast. I might continue to drive too fast. If the freeway is empty and it is late at night, I have no qualms about getting from point A to B at 100mph. I know it is stupid, but the risk is low. If I am tired or there are other cars on the road, I sit in the mid lanes at 70mph. I do not drive recklessly with other people in my car. When there is someone else in my car, they are my responsibility. Timmy got into a fender bender recently and has since then put a sign in his car that reads "Slow Down!" The reason that this is an "Ugly" resolution is because it has already been broken multiple times. I drive like a maniac, and every time I don't consciously think about slowing down, I look at my speedometer and see lots of big numbers...
2. This applies to #2 in the "Good" resolution section. I have already sent out a couple of idiotic emails, texts and voicemails. The reason that I put this up there and down here is because I'd like to characterize this as something completely different. I belong to a club, and I am the only member. I am the President of DCA, the Drunk Communicators Anonymous. I have fallen off the wagon a few times already and will most likely continue, but I just gotta get back on the wagon! haha
NO MORE DRUNK COMMUNICATIONS!
THE UGLIER(Not a Snowballs Chance in Hell)
1. I would like to think I could stop getting into "Skirmishes" with the elderly, seeing as how I went to the gym this morning and could barely walk on my "'Geriatrically' Assaulted" heels. But this one is out of my control. I have so far been called a "queer" by "Father Time" at Trader Joe's in West Hollywood, A "Big Bald Asshole" by this salt and peppered nut job on Santa Monica, and my most recent run-in with this Yiddish squawking crow at Walgreens. And this is all since the beginning of September!!! I think this one is really out of my hands. I need to wear a shirt that says "I karate chop the elderly" for intimidation purposes.
Oh and speaking of "Walgreens Hussy", I wrote the story and got 14 texts messages from friends who read it say things like, and I quote, "I totally though you would have kcked(sp) the old biddy's ass" and "I could just see you knocking her in the face with your gallon of milk" and, my personal favorite "...i imagine you had a VERY tough decision to make there...there's something about clocking the battleaxe that would be severely satisfying..." REALLY??? Do I come across as the kind of person that smacks around the youth challenged? I hope not...Hope y'all have a lovely Monday. I'm out...
If I can think of anymore I will post them. Anyone else have any fun resolutions?
Sunday, January 4, 2009
White Devil...
A few reasons why I love my neighborhood...
I went to the gym at 7AM today and did my usual routine but added in some additional cardio. I tried adding 15 minutes onto the stair climber in addition to my usual 25 on the bike and 20 on the elliptical. My legs were shaky and already sore and I was a bit irritable. As I am driving back on Pico at about 9:15, two cars are stopped at the red light. They two people, a middle-aged man and an older woman were talking. The light turned green...They continued to talk...I waited a solid 4 seconds and then, in Los Angeles fashion rolled down my window, laid on my horn and screamed "Green Light Idiot." The woman in front of me rolls her window down, and signals me to go around...REALLY??? So I gassed it unnecessarily and whipped around her with my horn going the whole time...The nerve...
I got back to my place, parked and walked next door to Walgreens to get some goodies. Skim Milk, Crest Vivid White Toothpaste, Crest Whitening Weekly paste, and Roc Salicylic Acid Skin Cleanser...What...I'm gay...Its acceptable. So I am standing in line with my fabulous purchases when I get rear-ended, in a bad way, in the ankles by a shopping cart. I turn around and am instantly mortified...She looked deep into my eyes, my soul was exposed, my hands full, may nerves unraveling...It was the "Road Block" from earlier, and you bet your ass she knew who I was too. I turned back around and waited for it to hit me like a ton of bricks. And it did.
Artists Rendering...
She pushed her shopping cart hard into my ankles...My eyes welled up, I have bruises on my Achillies Tendon now. She hits me a third time, that's it, one more time and I'm doing 35-Life for premeditated genocide...She waited for a bit...Let the line move up, took aim, and fired. She hit me so hard with her cart the fourth time I bumped into the guy in front of me. I turned around and in a big, deep, loud, "straight" voice (I figured embarrassing her would make her back off, wrong)I said, "Excuse Ma'am, please watch my ankles. She smirked at me. I was getting my ass kicked by a 65 year old woman, whose basket was full of Werthers Originals, Depends and Ace Bandages. I finally got out of her way, and got up to the register. I was about to cry from the pain at this point, and everyone in the stupid store, which was uncharacteristically crowded, was staring at me, begging me to cry, they wanted to see some action, but there was none to be had.
I paid for my goodies, which we the only things keeping me from curling up on the floor and crying in agony...Again, I get excited by teeth whitening products...As I was walking out she yelled across the store, Meshuga Goy...Had no idea what it meant, so I turned around and did what any self-respecting grown man would do after receiving the beat down of his life from an Estelle Getty Wannabe...I stuck my tongue out at her and made face.
I looked up Meshuga Goy and found it to be Yiddish for Crazy Gentile...Wow, she is perceptive, I am usually mistaken for a Jewish man in this neighborhood.
My ankles are on fire along with the rest of my legs and my spirit is tarnished like cheap silver. But I must move on...After all, I have teeth whitening toothpaste now!!!
I went to the gym at 7AM today and did my usual routine but added in some additional cardio. I tried adding 15 minutes onto the stair climber in addition to my usual 25 on the bike and 20 on the elliptical. My legs were shaky and already sore and I was a bit irritable. As I am driving back on Pico at about 9:15, two cars are stopped at the red light. They two people, a middle-aged man and an older woman were talking. The light turned green...They continued to talk...I waited a solid 4 seconds and then, in Los Angeles fashion rolled down my window, laid on my horn and screamed "Green Light Idiot." The woman in front of me rolls her window down, and signals me to go around...REALLY??? So I gassed it unnecessarily and whipped around her with my horn going the whole time...The nerve...
I got back to my place, parked and walked next door to Walgreens to get some goodies. Skim Milk, Crest Vivid White Toothpaste, Crest Whitening Weekly paste, and Roc Salicylic Acid Skin Cleanser...What...I'm gay...Its acceptable. So I am standing in line with my fabulous purchases when I get rear-ended, in a bad way, in the ankles by a shopping cart. I turn around and am instantly mortified...She looked deep into my eyes, my soul was exposed, my hands full, may nerves unraveling...It was the "Road Block" from earlier, and you bet your ass she knew who I was too. I turned back around and waited for it to hit me like a ton of bricks. And it did.
Artists Rendering...
She pushed her shopping cart hard into my ankles...My eyes welled up, I have bruises on my Achillies Tendon now. She hits me a third time, that's it, one more time and I'm doing 35-Life for premeditated genocide...She waited for a bit...Let the line move up, took aim, and fired. She hit me so hard with her cart the fourth time I bumped into the guy in front of me. I turned around and in a big, deep, loud, "straight" voice (I figured embarrassing her would make her back off, wrong)I said, "Excuse Ma'am, please watch my ankles. She smirked at me. I was getting my ass kicked by a 65 year old woman, whose basket was full of Werthers Originals, Depends and Ace Bandages. I finally got out of her way, and got up to the register. I was about to cry from the pain at this point, and everyone in the stupid store, which was uncharacteristically crowded, was staring at me, begging me to cry, they wanted to see some action, but there was none to be had.
I paid for my goodies, which we the only things keeping me from curling up on the floor and crying in agony...Again, I get excited by teeth whitening products...As I was walking out she yelled across the store, Meshuga Goy...Had no idea what it meant, so I turned around and did what any self-respecting grown man would do after receiving the beat down of his life from an Estelle Getty Wannabe...I stuck my tongue out at her and made face.
I looked up Meshuga Goy and found it to be Yiddish for Crazy Gentile...Wow, she is perceptive, I am usually mistaken for a Jewish man in this neighborhood.
My ankles are on fire along with the rest of my legs and my spirit is tarnished like cheap silver. But I must move on...After all, I have teeth whitening toothpaste now!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)