So I was hanging out at my place last night, just chatting with friends. David asked, "Are you going out tonight?" My response was "No, I'm grounding myself..."
So that is exactly what I did. For the first time since god knows, when, perhaps since China in August...I did not go out at all on Friday. I was under house-arrest.
Needless to say I got bored of sitting on the couch after about 10 minutes and watched American History X, one of my top 5 movies of all time, and Slumdog Millionaire, a new entrant to my Top 5 list. Its not that I didn't understand all of the hooplah about Slumdog, I just wasn't sure if it was warranted. And now I am. I was so impressed with almost every aspect of the film, from the acting of the child stars to the emotion, both developed and in some scenes non-existent. I was hooked. Also, Two things, if you have not seen American History X; A.What the hell is wrong with you? and B. You definitely should!
I did not get much sleep last night which was the hole reason that I stayed home, but you know, sometimes sleep is trumped by...Other Things...Tonight was going to be night two of my incarceration, but Connor, one of my coworkers,is having a "Shin-Dig" at his pad, and I have urges that need to be satisifed...and lets be realistic, my ability to refrain from sins of the aluminum can, is pretty week. I am salivating just thinking about ice cold bud light...Oh god I need an intervention...and by intervention, of course, I mean a hosted bar!
In other news, Allison, my tramp of a co-worker, - I'm just kidding, she is a prude - is trying to find a loving home for her Weiner Dog Winston. If you know of anything let me know.
I have posted a link to my friend Francis' blog to the right hand side, y'all should check it out. He is a talented and articulate, and conveys some pretty cool thoughts and ideas along with some humorous stories. Some serious stuff, but the kind that makes you reflect and think. Not the useless garbage and rants that I decide to share with you here. Enjoy!
Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday. For the gays, thats the game with Tight Ends, Full Backs and odd shaped balls being thrusted around the pitch...I would definitely put my money on the Steelers winning...but since I have no money that is not a concern of mine. Therefore, I am going to pick the Cardinals in an upset, 27-17.
The End!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
I Heart Jennifer Coolidge (Stiffler's Mother)
Ever since I spent that fateful day in Inglewood, I felt like a changed man...I think I need Double D Ass implants....
This is digustingly hilarious...
Either click the link or read the picture-less text below...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/asian_teen_has_sweaty_middle_aged
AOMORI, JAPAN—At first glance, 17-year-old Misaki Nakajima seems like any other shy and submissive Japanese schoolgirl. She loves shopping, text messaging, and the color pink. But beneath her wholesome exterior lies a wicked secret: Misaki Nakajima is consumed by sexual fantasies involving sweaty, middle-aged American men.
I can't explain it," said Nakajima, dressed in a pleated miniskirt and pure white knee socks. "There's just something about American men who are at least twice my age and nearly three times my body weight that totally drives me wild."
Added Nakajima, "They're so hot."
Though she finds all pasty, middle-aged men intoxicating, Nakajima said balding Midwesterners who carry most of their weight in their stomach particularly turn her on. According to the sexually inquisitive teen, she often daydreams about sleeping with a 43-year-old divorcé with poor hygiene habits.
"I like it when they dress up like middle managers," said Nakajima, twirling her girlish pigtails with one alabaster finger. "You know, with the sweat-stained dress shirts, and the office clipboards, and the khaki pants that are 2 inches too short."
The Japanese nymph then reportedly sighed, rolled over on her Hello Kitty bedsheets, and continued leafing through an old Rochester Big & Tall catalog.
While she has always been curious about men who attended state college before she was born, Nakajima said she first discovered her fetish after stumbling upon a late-night airing of Uncle Buck on television—a moment the teen now describes as her "sexual awakening."
"I was completely captivated by him," said Nakajima, referring to the obese, unemployed character played by John Candy. "He was so exotic-looking. It was like this whole new world of pleasure had just opened up for me."
Over the next several months Nakajima—a virgin—explored her new obsession by cutting out pictures of American men from riding mower advertisements and heart-attack-prevention brochures. The barely legal teen also discovered satellite broadcasts of ESPN2 around this time, and often stayed up all night ogling professional bowlers and competitive dart players.
Nakajima confessed to frequently searching the Internet to satisfy her insatiable appetite for round, greasy American men years past their sexual prime. A survey of her recent browsing history revealed such Google searches as "pale man lying on couch eating" and "retiree + jowls + hardcore." The teen has also bookmarked several sites with lurid pictures of aging American males, including BuffaloBillsFanZone.com and the History Channel chat room.
According to psychologist Asuka Yasuhara of Tokyo University, Nakajima is not alone.
"It's not uncommon for Asian girls to be fascinated with these types of men," said Dr. Yasuhara, who found in a recent survey that three out of 10 Japanese teenage girls list Paul Giamatti as the most attractive American celebrity. "And it's easy to see why. Sweaty, forty-something Caucasians represent the epitome of mystery and wonder to Asian teens."
Added Yasuhara, "Plus, how can anyone resist those enormous, chafed thighs?"
Drawn by her curiosity, Nakajima has scheduled a vacation to St. Louis for early March. The trip—which falls on her 18th birthday—reportedly coincides with the American Society of Actuaries' annual convention, a four-day event during which Nakajima hopes to be seduced by "the heavyset man of [her] dreams."
Although she has long fantasized about traveling overseas and having a world of carnal delights revealed to her by an aging claims adjuster, the taut Japanese teen admitted that she is uncertain how she'll be received by American men.
"I just hope they don't mind the fact that I'm completely shaven," Nakajima said. "Oh, who am I kidding? They'd probably never go for a naïve young sexual kitten like me."
Either click the link or read the picture-less text below...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/asian_teen_has_sweaty_middle_aged
AOMORI, JAPAN—At first glance, 17-year-old Misaki Nakajima seems like any other shy and submissive Japanese schoolgirl. She loves shopping, text messaging, and the color pink. But beneath her wholesome exterior lies a wicked secret: Misaki Nakajima is consumed by sexual fantasies involving sweaty, middle-aged American men.
I can't explain it," said Nakajima, dressed in a pleated miniskirt and pure white knee socks. "There's just something about American men who are at least twice my age and nearly three times my body weight that totally drives me wild."
Added Nakajima, "They're so hot."
Though she finds all pasty, middle-aged men intoxicating, Nakajima said balding Midwesterners who carry most of their weight in their stomach particularly turn her on. According to the sexually inquisitive teen, she often daydreams about sleeping with a 43-year-old divorcé with poor hygiene habits.
"I like it when they dress up like middle managers," said Nakajima, twirling her girlish pigtails with one alabaster finger. "You know, with the sweat-stained dress shirts, and the office clipboards, and the khaki pants that are 2 inches too short."
The Japanese nymph then reportedly sighed, rolled over on her Hello Kitty bedsheets, and continued leafing through an old Rochester Big & Tall catalog.
While she has always been curious about men who attended state college before she was born, Nakajima said she first discovered her fetish after stumbling upon a late-night airing of Uncle Buck on television—a moment the teen now describes as her "sexual awakening."
"I was completely captivated by him," said Nakajima, referring to the obese, unemployed character played by John Candy. "He was so exotic-looking. It was like this whole new world of pleasure had just opened up for me."
Over the next several months Nakajima—a virgin—explored her new obsession by cutting out pictures of American men from riding mower advertisements and heart-attack-prevention brochures. The barely legal teen also discovered satellite broadcasts of ESPN2 around this time, and often stayed up all night ogling professional bowlers and competitive dart players.
Nakajima confessed to frequently searching the Internet to satisfy her insatiable appetite for round, greasy American men years past their sexual prime. A survey of her recent browsing history revealed such Google searches as "pale man lying on couch eating" and "retiree + jowls + hardcore." The teen has also bookmarked several sites with lurid pictures of aging American males, including BuffaloBillsFanZone.com and the History Channel chat room.
According to psychologist Asuka Yasuhara of Tokyo University, Nakajima is not alone.
"It's not uncommon for Asian girls to be fascinated with these types of men," said Dr. Yasuhara, who found in a recent survey that three out of 10 Japanese teenage girls list Paul Giamatti as the most attractive American celebrity. "And it's easy to see why. Sweaty, forty-something Caucasians represent the epitome of mystery and wonder to Asian teens."
Added Yasuhara, "Plus, how can anyone resist those enormous, chafed thighs?"
Drawn by her curiosity, Nakajima has scheduled a vacation to St. Louis for early March. The trip—which falls on her 18th birthday—reportedly coincides with the American Society of Actuaries' annual convention, a four-day event during which Nakajima hopes to be seduced by "the heavyset man of [her] dreams."
Although she has long fantasized about traveling overseas and having a world of carnal delights revealed to her by an aging claims adjuster, the taut Japanese teen admitted that she is uncertain how she'll be received by American men.
"I just hope they don't mind the fact that I'm completely shaven," Nakajima said. "Oh, who am I kidding? They'd probably never go for a naïve young sexual kitten like me."
How'd he Escape?
I have decided to take a weekend off, and potentially the entire week, from drinking and the bars, sans Wednesday night Karaoke with A-hole(Allison's new nickname) and Dougie-Doug! I have been going out a little too much and have been indulging in too many things that require moderation. I am getting a bit burnt out being up every morning at 6 and staying out every evening til midnight...My bar trips and my morning trips to the gym are clashing and something has got to give. I am going to take the higher road this once...just once...and call off the bars. I have a lot to address over the next including analyzing where I am at, and what the hell I am doing.
I moved up here to get ahead. I moved up here to better myself via continued education and life/work experience, and I seemingly have gotten the opportunity of a lifetime this week. Now I need to take advantage of it. Slowing down and taking focus was not one of my New Years Resolutions, but it might be now. I have done well on my resolutions thus far. I have stopped biting my nails, I drive slower, I don't drunk text/communicate, I am in the gym 5-6 days a week, sometimes twice a day. Its difficult but encouraging when you can see the results.
This year has taught me a lot so far. The first thing that it has taught me--a lesson I have learned a couple times now--is that, in the words of the brilliant philospher Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what want, but if you try sometime, you may find, You'll get what you need..." This rings true. I came to the realization recently that I cannot have what I want all the time, it would be nice, but its not meant to be that way. You just gotta let thngs go, and get what you need.
I apoligize for all of this philosophical crap, but not too many embarrassing things have happened of late. The only thing of note, is that I finally broke down last week. I had a really long day from 6AM Wednesday to 1AM Thursday. I parked my car in the lot. Leaned my head back against my headrest and closed my eyes. I could feel my pulse in my temples and felt like I wanted to cry. Istead of crying I just screamed. A really loooooong drawn out "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!" You should try it sometime, screaming is quite the release. It felt great, then I looked to my right and realized that my passenger side car window was down, and of course, there is an older woman in her robe with her dog on a leash...Why wouldn't she be walking her dog at 1AM...I walked by and smiled and said "Have a lovely evening."
Thats where I am at right now, I needed a change of pace when I was in San Diego, and got one. I am happy in LA. I love the people and the pace of life. I did need an adjustment in the way I was living though and I have made it. For the first time in awhile, I'm happy, sometimes frustrated, but happy!
Oh and on a side note, My roommate moved out last night. When I say last night, I mean last night. I went to bed and his stuff was all still there. I woke up and it was gone...impressive...
It has been a rough start this year.
I moved up here to get ahead. I moved up here to better myself via continued education and life/work experience, and I seemingly have gotten the opportunity of a lifetime this week. Now I need to take advantage of it. Slowing down and taking focus was not one of my New Years Resolutions, but it might be now. I have done well on my resolutions thus far. I have stopped biting my nails, I drive slower, I don't drunk text/communicate, I am in the gym 5-6 days a week, sometimes twice a day. Its difficult but encouraging when you can see the results.
This year has taught me a lot so far. The first thing that it has taught me--a lesson I have learned a couple times now--is that, in the words of the brilliant philospher Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what want, but if you try sometime, you may find, You'll get what you need..." This rings true. I came to the realization recently that I cannot have what I want all the time, it would be nice, but its not meant to be that way. You just gotta let thngs go, and get what you need.
I apoligize for all of this philosophical crap, but not too many embarrassing things have happened of late. The only thing of note, is that I finally broke down last week. I had a really long day from 6AM Wednesday to 1AM Thursday. I parked my car in the lot. Leaned my head back against my headrest and closed my eyes. I could feel my pulse in my temples and felt like I wanted to cry. Istead of crying I just screamed. A really loooooong drawn out "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!" You should try it sometime, screaming is quite the release. It felt great, then I looked to my right and realized that my passenger side car window was down, and of course, there is an older woman in her robe with her dog on a leash...Why wouldn't she be walking her dog at 1AM...I walked by and smiled and said "Have a lovely evening."
Thats where I am at right now, I needed a change of pace when I was in San Diego, and got one. I am happy in LA. I love the people and the pace of life. I did need an adjustment in the way I was living though and I have made it. For the first time in awhile, I'm happy, sometimes frustrated, but happy!
Oh and on a side note, My roommate moved out last night. When I say last night, I mean last night. I went to bed and his stuff was all still there. I woke up and it was gone...impressive...
It has been a rough start this year.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I can see clearly now the rain is gone...
What can I see? Rock Bottom. I am not that close, just typing for the dramatics. I have had a few new "experiences" recently. Nothing too bad, most of them stemming from life, friendships, relationships etc. But now I have a new vice in my life. My family. The last thing that I expected to be a stressful or burdensome thing on my life is now just that. Its nothing bad that is happening, just a lot of weird little things. I have been a different person over the last few weeks and have had multiple people tell me that...I am aware people, thanks!
Money has always been my biggest stress, namely, not having any, and now I am really starting to feel the pinch. I think I landed a second job today, or at least I hope I did...We'll see what happens with that. It feels like I am crashing and burning even though I am not. Kinda hard to describe. The only thing to do is to keep pluggin away I guess. I am not alone on this. It actually makes it easier to struggle when others around you are struggling as well.
So, the last few days have been fun. Watched Gran Torino yesterday with David and Richard, good movie, as everyone else has already said. I went to Circuit City because I needed a pair of headphones for my car/gym. I knew they were having a sale, so i was all about it. I got a pair for $13.00, score!! They work really well and actually have some pretty reasonable sound...
I met up last night in Silver Lake with a friend, George, and had a nice dinner at Gingergrass. I definitely enjoyed it which is good because it put me at my budget for the pay period for dining expenses. Haha George was good company though, a wonderfully nice guy, and I definitely would love to hang out again...Salt and Pepper has never looked so good! hahahaha Just Kidding...
I went out to the Abbey last night with Allison, and her friends Johnny and Ian. I was not going to drink, because of my previous budget issues, but Johnny felt bad and bought me a beverage...Mmmm, Vodka Rocks, splash of water...It was refreshing! There were lots of silly-looking people out last night, namely, the Geico Caveman, half the cast from Madagascar, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Dolly Partons Boobs on Molly Wringwold's body and Jermaine Dupri...A couple of cute guys but they all seemed to be smoking. Gross...You gotta be really hot to get away with smoking! haha. I never understood why the gays, the most superficial group of people I know, smoke. It yellows your teeth, wrinkles your skin and makes you stink... REALLY homos? Ohh, and it takes years off of your life, forgot about that one.
I had a job interview this morning. It went really well and I should be able to balance both jobs at about 25-30 hours, exciting. I will have no life, but its okay. The life that I want now, is out of my reach, so I may as well just get my shit together while I can right? My mother is no longer reading my blog. She said she gets too frustrated. Hmmm...I could not imagine why that would be the case.
That's all I got. Bye
Money has always been my biggest stress, namely, not having any, and now I am really starting to feel the pinch. I think I landed a second job today, or at least I hope I did...We'll see what happens with that. It feels like I am crashing and burning even though I am not. Kinda hard to describe. The only thing to do is to keep pluggin away I guess. I am not alone on this. It actually makes it easier to struggle when others around you are struggling as well.
So, the last few days have been fun. Watched Gran Torino yesterday with David and Richard, good movie, as everyone else has already said. I went to Circuit City because I needed a pair of headphones for my car/gym. I knew they were having a sale, so i was all about it. I got a pair for $13.00, score!! They work really well and actually have some pretty reasonable sound...
I met up last night in Silver Lake with a friend, George, and had a nice dinner at Gingergrass. I definitely enjoyed it which is good because it put me at my budget for the pay period for dining expenses. Haha George was good company though, a wonderfully nice guy, and I definitely would love to hang out again...Salt and Pepper has never looked so good! hahahaha Just Kidding...
I went out to the Abbey last night with Allison, and her friends Johnny and Ian. I was not going to drink, because of my previous budget issues, but Johnny felt bad and bought me a beverage...Mmmm, Vodka Rocks, splash of water...It was refreshing! There were lots of silly-looking people out last night, namely, the Geico Caveman, half the cast from Madagascar, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Dolly Partons Boobs on Molly Wringwold's body and Jermaine Dupri...A couple of cute guys but they all seemed to be smoking. Gross...You gotta be really hot to get away with smoking! haha. I never understood why the gays, the most superficial group of people I know, smoke. It yellows your teeth, wrinkles your skin and makes you stink... REALLY homos? Ohh, and it takes years off of your life, forgot about that one.
I had a job interview this morning. It went really well and I should be able to balance both jobs at about 25-30 hours, exciting. I will have no life, but its okay. The life that I want now, is out of my reach, so I may as well just get my shit together while I can right? My mother is no longer reading my blog. She said she gets too frustrated. Hmmm...I could not imagine why that would be the case.
That's all I got. Bye
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Why I am not drinking for awhile(until Saturday afternoon)
When describing my night, there are multiple points where I probably should stop typing for the sake of my Mother, Hi Mom. But since this is based on my destructive behavior and awful luck at the game/obstacle of life, I won't.
I think I got out of work at about 9:30 and met Nareth at Phil and RD's. The topic of conversation...Porn...
It took all of 3 minutes for Phil to have an icy cold 32oz beverage in front of me. This was one of those points that I could just stop writing, and save some shred of remaining dignity, but no...
So I made a second drink, and then David showed up. David is affectionately known as "Shots." This is another point in which I should stop. Nareth pours two shots of 151...REALLY...151? I'm just going to drink the bleach under the sink instead! Nareth hands one to David and the other to me...WTF? I did not ask for a shot. But being me, I took it. and finished my drink. I made my third drink a little too stiff...and almost could not finish it.
We walked down to RAGE and I was already feeling smashed. Nareth and I stopped got Chicken Nuggets. I just now got off the phone with Rettles to try and piece this part together...As we were macking on our food some "Dingle-Berry" came up and said, "Dude are those Chicken Nuggets? Can I Try One?" So we said sure. Then he told me I was "Hella Hot." He was not. Nareth's quick thinking saved me...and screwed me at the same time. Instead of saying he is with me, he said "He is straight...and from Scotland." So I did my best Scottish accent. Thanks Maurizio! I apparently talked to him for a good couple minutes in what I am sure was a butchered accent...Finally I said, "Oh...Me Mates awaitin' for me" At that point the guy kinda looked puzzled. I was now Australian! So we left and went to Rage. I had my wristband on the wrong arm, and my man-crush Art saved me, and put it on the right arm. I love Art! If he were not there I would have had to wait in line, and I don't queue very well. We grabbed a drink and mingled.
***I think we had another drink, I think I talked to RD, I think someone told me that I was tall, I think I saw someone I thought I knew, and I think I unintentionally ignored them. This part will all become more clear in the next few days***
We then inexplicably left. I am sure there was a reason, and we were there for a while, but this was all foreign to me. We went back to Phil and RD's, and Nareth and I walked Luka their Basset Hound. It was pretty much time travel at that point. I remember being at these places and doing these things but the movement from point A to B was all a mystery to me. I do remember walking Luka with Nareth. I was like a shiny steel ball in a game of urban pinball. I was bouncing off of and bumping into anything that I possibly could. When I get a bit tipsy I work extra hard to compose myself. I am somewhat of a guarded person and don't like to let everyone in. The exception to this is of course the blog. But last night, I was catastrophic, tragic and I'm sure painful to watch. We got back to Phil and RD's and "Shots" seemed to be in the same condition I was, Ron was helping him to the couch. Well at least we know the side effects of 151 now. I came to in front of my house Nareth had driven me home. I fell out of the car, literally, fell out and walked to my house again, playing "Urban Pinball" the entire way!!! The End
I think I got out of work at about 9:30 and met Nareth at Phil and RD's. The topic of conversation...Porn...
It took all of 3 minutes for Phil to have an icy cold 32oz beverage in front of me. This was one of those points that I could just stop writing, and save some shred of remaining dignity, but no...
So I made a second drink, and then David showed up. David is affectionately known as "Shots." This is another point in which I should stop. Nareth pours two shots of 151...REALLY...151? I'm just going to drink the bleach under the sink instead! Nareth hands one to David and the other to me...WTF? I did not ask for a shot. But being me, I took it. and finished my drink. I made my third drink a little too stiff...and almost could not finish it.
We walked down to RAGE and I was already feeling smashed. Nareth and I stopped got Chicken Nuggets. I just now got off the phone with Rettles to try and piece this part together...As we were macking on our food some "Dingle-Berry" came up and said, "Dude are those Chicken Nuggets? Can I Try One?" So we said sure. Then he told me I was "Hella Hot." He was not. Nareth's quick thinking saved me...and screwed me at the same time. Instead of saying he is with me, he said "He is straight...and from Scotland." So I did my best Scottish accent. Thanks Maurizio! I apparently talked to him for a good couple minutes in what I am sure was a butchered accent...Finally I said, "Oh...Me Mates awaitin' for me" At that point the guy kinda looked puzzled. I was now Australian! So we left and went to Rage. I had my wristband on the wrong arm, and my man-crush Art saved me, and put it on the right arm. I love Art! If he were not there I would have had to wait in line, and I don't queue very well. We grabbed a drink and mingled.
***I think we had another drink, I think I talked to RD, I think someone told me that I was tall, I think I saw someone I thought I knew, and I think I unintentionally ignored them. This part will all become more clear in the next few days***
We then inexplicably left. I am sure there was a reason, and we were there for a while, but this was all foreign to me. We went back to Phil and RD's, and Nareth and I walked Luka their Basset Hound. It was pretty much time travel at that point. I remember being at these places and doing these things but the movement from point A to B was all a mystery to me. I do remember walking Luka with Nareth. I was like a shiny steel ball in a game of urban pinball. I was bouncing off of and bumping into anything that I possibly could. When I get a bit tipsy I work extra hard to compose myself. I am somewhat of a guarded person and don't like to let everyone in. The exception to this is of course the blog. But last night, I was catastrophic, tragic and I'm sure painful to watch. We got back to Phil and RD's and "Shots" seemed to be in the same condition I was, Ron was helping him to the couch. Well at least we know the side effects of 151 now. I came to in front of my house Nareth had driven me home. I fell out of the car, literally, fell out and walked to my house again, playing "Urban Pinball" the entire way!!! The End
Friday, January 23, 2009
Just some random notes...
We are going to see My Bloody Valentine in 3-D on Saturday evening. Anyone wanna go? Nareth, Kevin and I so far plus some others but I'm not too sure who. If you wanna go let me know.
A friend of mine Jason is producing a calendar to benefit the Asian Pacific Health Care Venture of Los Angeles and are currently seeking local Asian, Asian-American and Pacific Island male models. Please contact them for further information or email us at asiancalendar2010@gmail if you are interested in modeling or know of anyone who might be interested. This is great publicity for the aspring actor in all of you!! This is not a scandalous calender either. Simply a calender of real everyday guys. The calendar is being shot by professional photographer and activist, Jeff Sheng and edited by Nareth Chuon. If you have any questions, let me know, or feel free to check out their information pages on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1161217641&v=feed&viewas=3202357
or myspace: myspace.com/apmcalendar
FINALLY...
This is a note from my former roommate/buddy Chad's facebook. Chad is Black, in case you needed to know...
November 04, 2008 was a sad day in the history of Blacks in this country. For on the same day we as a people got together in large numbers and voted for change and crossed a threshold many of us never thought we would get to see – an overwhelming 70% of Black Californians who voted – voted to legalize discrimination. We of all people should understand the basic and human need for respect and equality. To deny gays and lesbians the right to marriage is not only hypocritical it is reprehensible. How can we, on such a historic day look at ourselves with pride when we have helped to limit the freedom of others?
Marriage is more than just a term. It is more than an expression of love between two people. It is a legal status that grants certain rights and responsibilities. Some of these rights include: federal benefits, tax breaks, insurance breaks, veteran’s benefits, and survivor benefits. Imagine you’re boyfriend or girlfriend / husband or wife sick in the hospital and not being able to visit them because a collective of people have deemed your love less significant as theirs. Imagine having that same loved one pass and all of the assets that you have shared being taken away from you. Some may argue in favor of civil unions but civil unions are not the same as marriage. Some of the rights I just mentioned are covered in some states by civil unions but not all. Furthermore, civil unions are not recognized by other states. So if a couple were to move what ever little rights they had would be stripped. The United States was founded upon the belief of equality for all. It is up to the majority to stand up for the minority if we are to be that great country that we proclaim to be.
For those of you who hide behind religion let me remind you that religion was also used as a basis for denying us several rights in this country. And for many, marriage is not a spiritual agreement. People of different religions are allowed to marry. Atheist can marry. People can marry, divorce and marry again, several times. Brittany Spears can marry some dude in a speedy Vegas wedding because she’s high off her face and thinks it’ll be a great way to spend thirteen hours and we are okay with this. One supporter of prop 8 said to a newspaper, “people should do what they want to do, but it shouldn’t be forced on others.” What baffles me is what does he think is being forced upon him. Tolerance? Acceptance? Equality? Are not these the same arguments used in opposition of desegregation? So now the oppressed have become the oppressors?
Gays and lesbians stood with us, cheered with us, cried with us and fought together with us to help elect the first black president and I am ashamed at how we have repaid them.
A friend of mine Jason is producing a calendar to benefit the Asian Pacific Health Care Venture of Los Angeles and are currently seeking local Asian, Asian-American and Pacific Island male models. Please contact them for further information or email us at asiancalendar2010@gmail if you are interested in modeling or know of anyone who might be interested. This is great publicity for the aspring actor in all of you!! This is not a scandalous calender either. Simply a calender of real everyday guys. The calendar is being shot by professional photographer and activist, Jeff Sheng and edited by Nareth Chuon. If you have any questions, let me know, or feel free to check out their information pages on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1161217641&v=feed&viewas=3202357
or myspace: myspace.com/apmcalendar
FINALLY...
This is a note from my former roommate/buddy Chad's facebook. Chad is Black, in case you needed to know...
November 04, 2008 was a sad day in the history of Blacks in this country. For on the same day we as a people got together in large numbers and voted for change and crossed a threshold many of us never thought we would get to see – an overwhelming 70% of Black Californians who voted – voted to legalize discrimination. We of all people should understand the basic and human need for respect and equality. To deny gays and lesbians the right to marriage is not only hypocritical it is reprehensible. How can we, on such a historic day look at ourselves with pride when we have helped to limit the freedom of others?
Marriage is more than just a term. It is more than an expression of love between two people. It is a legal status that grants certain rights and responsibilities. Some of these rights include: federal benefits, tax breaks, insurance breaks, veteran’s benefits, and survivor benefits. Imagine you’re boyfriend or girlfriend / husband or wife sick in the hospital and not being able to visit them because a collective of people have deemed your love less significant as theirs. Imagine having that same loved one pass and all of the assets that you have shared being taken away from you. Some may argue in favor of civil unions but civil unions are not the same as marriage. Some of the rights I just mentioned are covered in some states by civil unions but not all. Furthermore, civil unions are not recognized by other states. So if a couple were to move what ever little rights they had would be stripped. The United States was founded upon the belief of equality for all. It is up to the majority to stand up for the minority if we are to be that great country that we proclaim to be.
For those of you who hide behind religion let me remind you that religion was also used as a basis for denying us several rights in this country. And for many, marriage is not a spiritual agreement. People of different religions are allowed to marry. Atheist can marry. People can marry, divorce and marry again, several times. Brittany Spears can marry some dude in a speedy Vegas wedding because she’s high off her face and thinks it’ll be a great way to spend thirteen hours and we are okay with this. One supporter of prop 8 said to a newspaper, “people should do what they want to do, but it shouldn’t be forced on others.” What baffles me is what does he think is being forced upon him. Tolerance? Acceptance? Equality? Are not these the same arguments used in opposition of desegregation? So now the oppressed have become the oppressors?
Gays and lesbians stood with us, cheered with us, cried with us and fought together with us to help elect the first black president and I am ashamed at how we have repaid them.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
100th Post!
So I took out the trash last night, Allison and Andrea...Just kidding, they aren't trash, haha. So I took out the whores last night and we decided to go to MoLo first because of the awesomeness of the drinks and the awesomeness of the barman, Doug. I am in love with Doug. He is the coolest guy ever. He is the kind of guy that I would like to bring home to the parents, and after they both look at me in disbelief that he is not a 5'6" Pinoy/Latino/Chinaman/Viet, we could all bond! Allison told me to get his number and marry him because she wants to hang out with him. My response: "Remember Nov. 4th? Yeah, thanks for that one!"
After a drink and shots, I'm not sure why Doug gave us the shots, but whatever, we went to Karaoke at Fiesta. We got a delicious vodka soda and headed up stairs. David was there for his friends birthday party, and was on his way out, I said hello, and introduced my "Ladies of the Night," and then he took off. I ran into Patrick and his man-lover Luis who had just gotten out of opening night of Phantom, FUN! It was Luis' B-day. I also ran into Jason Bowers, had yet to see him outside of my place of employment so that was nice! He is quite the character. Entertaining. Thats all. I'm off to bed.
After a drink and shots, I'm not sure why Doug gave us the shots, but whatever, we went to Karaoke at Fiesta. We got a delicious vodka soda and headed up stairs. David was there for his friends birthday party, and was on his way out, I said hello, and introduced my "Ladies of the Night," and then he took off. I ran into Patrick and his man-lover Luis who had just gotten out of opening night of Phantom, FUN! It was Luis' B-day. I also ran into Jason Bowers, had yet to see him outside of my place of employment so that was nice! He is quite the character. Entertaining. Thats all. I'm off to bed.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I have learned soooo much...
A sincere thanks and a debt of gratitude to my bosses, Marcus and Harry for providing me with the necessary texts of enlightenment. I received today, a copy of "What's Your Poo telling You?" While at first humorous this book has taught me much needed information such as nicknames for Diarrhea; Butt Piss, The Runs, Oil Spill, Number Three, Hersey Squirts, Montezuma's Revenge, Chocolate Thunder, Operation Marination, Operation Evacuation, Releasing the Hounds, The Nile, Poo Stew, Chocolate Slurpee, Gravy Poo, Birds Flying South for the Winter, Rectum Rapids, It's Raining Poo, Deuce Juice and my personal favorite, Turd Tea.
I feel now, with this new found knowledge and confidence that my Poo experiences going forward will be nothing short of fascinating!
I highly recommend this delicious piece of literature for your consumption!
"What's your Poo Telling You?" by Josh Richman and Anish, Sheth, M.D.
ISBN # 9780811857826
I feel now, with this new found knowledge and confidence that my Poo experiences going forward will be nothing short of fascinating!
I highly recommend this delicious piece of literature for your consumption!
"What's your Poo Telling You?" by Josh Richman and Anish, Sheth, M.D.
ISBN # 9780811857826
A Gay Ole Time!
I just got back from the gym about a half hour ago. I had to cut my routine short because I smashed the crap out of my left thumb. No really, I dropped a weight on my thumb, and crap came out...Normally this would be one of those haha, laugh at dumb-ass unfortunate Brandon, but there is more to it than just my clumsiness and perpetual self-inflicted casualties that have become a way of life for me...
I was doing my pre lifting cardio, usually only about 10 minutes on the stationary bike, just a little something to get the blood going. This guy walks in and walks past me and smiles, he is hot. AND donning an HRC(Human Rights Campaign, look it up breeders) tank top, SCORE! So he goes down stairs and jumps on to the Stair Master thingy. Conveniently, there was one open directly behind him. So I ditched my crappy "bike without a view" and headed towards buns of steel and the stair master.
20 minutes later, I got bored of watching and decided to start my routine, I went over to the flat bench and grabbed some weights. I decided that it would be humorous to "Twitter" about it. Who the hell "Twitters" or "Tweets" in the gym right? Well my tragic ass does! So I had both weights leaning against one another while seated on the bench. and one slipped, POW, BAM, WHACK, SMASH, CRASH, BANG, BOOM, BLUDGEON, and many other onomotapieas that describe painful contact. So effectively I was at the gym being a pervert and then trying to twitter about it, and I pretty much got my just desserts...
I went to Gayme night last night for the first time ever. Soooo much fun. I was tired and antisocial and grumpy when i left work and was not sure how it was going to go. But to be honest, I had a blast. We played dirty minds for about ten minutes and then moved onto cranium and taboo where our team, Phil, David, Ron, Jeffery and myself got KILLED by the much less handsome much less intelligent, much more lucky team of Reth, Kris, Josh, RD and Frangelo...haha, I kid, I kid! I had a ton of fun and look forward to doing it again sometime soon! Thanks for the invite guys!
I was doing my pre lifting cardio, usually only about 10 minutes on the stationary bike, just a little something to get the blood going. This guy walks in and walks past me and smiles, he is hot. AND donning an HRC(Human Rights Campaign, look it up breeders) tank top, SCORE! So he goes down stairs and jumps on to the Stair Master thingy. Conveniently, there was one open directly behind him. So I ditched my crappy "bike without a view" and headed towards buns of steel and the stair master.
20 minutes later, I got bored of watching and decided to start my routine, I went over to the flat bench and grabbed some weights. I decided that it would be humorous to "Twitter" about it. Who the hell "Twitters" or "Tweets" in the gym right? Well my tragic ass does! So I had both weights leaning against one another while seated on the bench. and one slipped, POW, BAM, WHACK, SMASH, CRASH, BANG, BOOM, BLUDGEON, and many other onomotapieas that describe painful contact. So effectively I was at the gym being a pervert and then trying to twitter about it, and I pretty much got my just desserts...
I went to Gayme night last night for the first time ever. Soooo much fun. I was tired and antisocial and grumpy when i left work and was not sure how it was going to go. But to be honest, I had a blast. We played dirty minds for about ten minutes and then moved onto cranium and taboo where our team, Phil, David, Ron, Jeffery and myself got KILLED by the much less handsome much less intelligent, much more lucky team of Reth, Kris, Josh, RD and Frangelo...haha, I kid, I kid! I had a ton of fun and look forward to doing it again sometime soon! Thanks for the invite guys!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I feel like writing about something...
For two reasons, A. Boredom and 2. I have lots of thought dancing around in my clinically disturbed booze shaker of a head. I am not sure what this will be about until the very end, but we'll see what happens.
I have gotten quite a bit of crap from people for a couple of reasons recently. The first was my "unfair and insensitive" portrayal of Inglewood. And to those people who have expressed concern, go away. I simply documented everything i saw, including a bit of photo evidence. Stereotypes are funny, especially when they play out to be true...Chicken-heads... 2. "You have not posted enough of the negative stuff that is happening to you." Thanks Brian! My misery is your pleasure, I will try to live a crappier life for your convenience.
I have decided that everytime I go out, I am going to try and create drama for your enjoyment. I thinking a random slur, or an airborne pint glass at 1am at the Abbey would do the trick. Or maybe hooking up with a large lady-man on the corner of Santa Monica Blvd and San Vicente. Getting arrested has its appeal as does trying to steal a kiss form a couple who happen to already me making out...So many choices...A simple boob grab or random ass-slap also has potential to create some problems. Any other suggestions? My well-being and life are in your hands...
Work is going really well. I have not had a run in with "Jean Summers" and her 30Lb Pussy in quite awhile. I think if she were to come in and talk to me I would be driven over the edge. Then I would have to explain to the police why I hit her with the 25Lb printer that I am staring at right now. I think if I just direct them to her history they will understand.
Friends are good. I missed out on a trip to Temecula on Sunday to celebreate, Paul's, Kat's, Kelly's, Sophie's and John's Birthdays because I just did not feel well enough to go out, and because I did not want to go down there by myself. I had aasked a couple people who showed a slight interest but that appeared to fade with time. As it always does with acquaintances. I have been going out quite a bit up here and meeting some new faces which is nice. I am trying to get accustomed to the group, but as your prototypical, "New Overly-Opinionated Ass-Hole" this has become a bit tricky. Whatever, it'll happen.
The love life is...ummm...The End...
Family is well. The last thing I heard from my Mom was a quote on my blog about poor decisions, she said, BRANDON MATTHEW WATSON. And that was it. I am assuming it was Mother Dearest because of the tone, yes text has tone.
Overall, my life seems hectic right now, and frankly its not terribly fun. I am the kind of personality that loves to be around people, whether it be a group of ten people, or just one, I just like having someone to talk to. Plus, I don't look so batshit crazy when there is someone else to talk to. I have recently been changing my plans and schedule around a lot in the hopes of having consecutive days off from work which has tragically backfired, because the handful people who I actually was looking forward to hanging out with are either busy, or not around. Therefore, I have had a lot of time to think. Thinking for me is dangerous, unless Trivial Pursuit or Cranium, then I will murder you, figuratively of course. :-) When I think, I think way too much. I think myself into situations that are so unbelievably far-fetched that I for some reason believe them. Lame...
I have to do an Obama shout out, simply because this is the best day in the last 8 calender years. I feel happy, elated almost. George Bush and his 22% approval rating have just landed in Texas where he will forever resign to being labeled, "The Worst President in United States History". Worse than Nixon(Watergate), worse than Warren G. Harding(Tea Pot Dome Scandal), worse than Ronald Reagan (Just being a douche or Dingle-Berry). Immediately after 9/11, Bush's Approval rating his approval rating soared from a dismal pre 9/11 mark of 51 to 90%. As he ascended from the Capital Helipad his rating had descended to the lowest mark ever, in the history of the United States Executive Branch. In conclusion, I hate George W. Bush, I hate his smug smirks, I hate the fact that he still after 8 years of foul-ups, takes no accountability for anything that he has helped create/destroy...
Bon Voyage Dingle-Berry...
Oh and for those of you who are still reading, check out my co-worker Allison's awkward encounters and dating predicaments at allisonslaadventures.blogspot.com
I have gotten quite a bit of crap from people for a couple of reasons recently. The first was my "unfair and insensitive" portrayal of Inglewood. And to those people who have expressed concern, go away. I simply documented everything i saw, including a bit of photo evidence. Stereotypes are funny, especially when they play out to be true...Chicken-heads... 2. "You have not posted enough of the negative stuff that is happening to you." Thanks Brian! My misery is your pleasure, I will try to live a crappier life for your convenience.
I have decided that everytime I go out, I am going to try and create drama for your enjoyment. I thinking a random slur, or an airborne pint glass at 1am at the Abbey would do the trick. Or maybe hooking up with a large lady-man on the corner of Santa Monica Blvd and San Vicente. Getting arrested has its appeal as does trying to steal a kiss form a couple who happen to already me making out...So many choices...A simple boob grab or random ass-slap also has potential to create some problems. Any other suggestions? My well-being and life are in your hands...
Work is going really well. I have not had a run in with "Jean Summers" and her 30Lb Pussy in quite awhile. I think if she were to come in and talk to me I would be driven over the edge. Then I would have to explain to the police why I hit her with the 25Lb printer that I am staring at right now. I think if I just direct them to her history they will understand.
Friends are good. I missed out on a trip to Temecula on Sunday to celebreate, Paul's, Kat's, Kelly's, Sophie's and John's Birthdays because I just did not feel well enough to go out, and because I did not want to go down there by myself. I had aasked a couple people who showed a slight interest but that appeared to fade with time. As it always does with acquaintances. I have been going out quite a bit up here and meeting some new faces which is nice. I am trying to get accustomed to the group, but as your prototypical, "New Overly-Opinionated Ass-Hole" this has become a bit tricky. Whatever, it'll happen.
The love life is...ummm...The End...
Family is well. The last thing I heard from my Mom was a quote on my blog about poor decisions, she said, BRANDON MATTHEW WATSON. And that was it. I am assuming it was Mother Dearest because of the tone, yes text has tone.
Overall, my life seems hectic right now, and frankly its not terribly fun. I am the kind of personality that loves to be around people, whether it be a group of ten people, or just one, I just like having someone to talk to. Plus, I don't look so batshit crazy when there is someone else to talk to. I have recently been changing my plans and schedule around a lot in the hopes of having consecutive days off from work which has tragically backfired, because the handful people who I actually was looking forward to hanging out with are either busy, or not around. Therefore, I have had a lot of time to think. Thinking for me is dangerous, unless Trivial Pursuit or Cranium, then I will murder you, figuratively of course. :-) When I think, I think way too much. I think myself into situations that are so unbelievably far-fetched that I for some reason believe them. Lame...
I have to do an Obama shout out, simply because this is the best day in the last 8 calender years. I feel happy, elated almost. George Bush and his 22% approval rating have just landed in Texas where he will forever resign to being labeled, "The Worst President in United States History". Worse than Nixon(Watergate), worse than Warren G. Harding(Tea Pot Dome Scandal), worse than Ronald Reagan (Just being a douche or Dingle-Berry). Immediately after 9/11, Bush's Approval rating his approval rating soared from a dismal pre 9/11 mark of 51 to 90%. As he ascended from the Capital Helipad his rating had descended to the lowest mark ever, in the history of the United States Executive Branch. In conclusion, I hate George W. Bush, I hate his smug smirks, I hate the fact that he still after 8 years of foul-ups, takes no accountability for anything that he has helped create/destroy...
Bon Voyage Dingle-Berry...
Oh and for those of you who are still reading, check out my co-worker Allison's awkward encounters and dating predicaments at allisonslaadventures.blogspot.com
Obama Time
How can you not get excited over this? For those of you that are still in denial about the atrocity, audacity and destruction caused by the last 8 years. Open your eyes. This nation is only as effective as its people, and the people are finally united. For the first time in my life and as far as I know, since Kennedy, yes, I am comparing Obama to Kennedy, this nation has rallied around someone, something. The embarrassment that was known as George W Bush is done. Over. The only thing that remains is his "Legacy", and that is something that he need to bear the burden of, because I have washed my hands clean.
Our patchwork Heritage is a strength not a weakness...This is the first time that people from every walk of life, no matter the class, religion, ethnicity or orientation have united around one person or one idea. I am not saying that PRESIDENT OBAMA is the answer, but he is definitely not more of the problem...This is a step in the right direction for all Americans.
On a lighter note, watch this HILARIOUS video...
Our patchwork Heritage is a strength not a weakness...This is the first time that people from every walk of life, no matter the class, religion, ethnicity or orientation have united around one person or one idea. I am not saying that PRESIDENT OBAMA is the answer, but he is definitely not more of the problem...This is a step in the right direction for all Americans.
On a lighter note, watch this HILARIOUS video...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Poor Decisions...
Yesterday was fun, I had the day off so I went to hang out with a friend in the valley for a couple of hours and then headed to The Spa for a beverage or four. It was so good to see the Sunday crew again, Harry, Debbie, Will, Kevin and Santos all in the same place again. I hung out there for awhile and then went with Harry and Kevin to grab some dinner.
I went out with Adrian last night, whose last name, and I can now confirm it, is not Rn. We went to Mother Lode and met the coolest Barman ever! Doug! A few Vodka Sodas and a couple Washington Apples later and I was getting pretty buzzed. This guy, whom i have seemingly forgotten his name and will therefore be known as "Not a Chance in Hell" or NACIH from now on, came up and asked me about my drink. We started talking and I just kinda decided that I will talk to him for a little bit, because his friends were getting ready to leave and I figured they'd take him with them. WRONG, 10 minutes later he was still talking, and touching...yuck. His friend came up to him and said alright I think we are going to leave, and as soon as NACIH turned to look for his friend I was gone...Stealth...
So I stopped drinking in order to be able to drive. I was heading down Doheney and cut through Beverly Hills over to my street via Gregory. I stop at a stop sign, and see those ominous Crown Victoria headlights behind me. I roll my windows down, and stop at the next three stop signs. I made a right onto Robertson and stopped at the Olympic stop light. They pulled right up next to me and this is what happened:
Piggy McPiggerson(Pig): How you doing tonight?
Me: I'm doing well thanks.
Pig: Where you headed?
Me: Robertson and Pico, Home
Pig: Were you out at the bars tonight?
Me: Yup
Pig: Alright, Get home safely.
Me: Huh?
Pig: I said Drive home safely.
That folks was my last get out of jail free card. I am a huge shamer of drunk drivers. I know we have all done it at one point in our lives, but that does not make it ok. I was not bombed or anything, and I was completely capable of driving, but I was probably pretty near the .08. Stupid...
I went out with Adrian last night, whose last name, and I can now confirm it, is not Rn. We went to Mother Lode and met the coolest Barman ever! Doug! A few Vodka Sodas and a couple Washington Apples later and I was getting pretty buzzed. This guy, whom i have seemingly forgotten his name and will therefore be known as "Not a Chance in Hell" or NACIH from now on, came up and asked me about my drink. We started talking and I just kinda decided that I will talk to him for a little bit, because his friends were getting ready to leave and I figured they'd take him with them. WRONG, 10 minutes later he was still talking, and touching...yuck. His friend came up to him and said alright I think we are going to leave, and as soon as NACIH turned to look for his friend I was gone...Stealth...
So I stopped drinking in order to be able to drive. I was heading down Doheney and cut through Beverly Hills over to my street via Gregory. I stop at a stop sign, and see those ominous Crown Victoria headlights behind me. I roll my windows down, and stop at the next three stop signs. I made a right onto Robertson and stopped at the Olympic stop light. They pulled right up next to me and this is what happened:
Piggy McPiggerson(Pig): How you doing tonight?
Me: I'm doing well thanks.
Pig: Where you headed?
Me: Robertson and Pico, Home
Pig: Were you out at the bars tonight?
Me: Yup
Pig: Alright, Get home safely.
Me: Huh?
Pig: I said Drive home safely.
That folks was my last get out of jail free card. I am a huge shamer of drunk drivers. I know we have all done it at one point in our lives, but that does not make it ok. I was not bombed or anything, and I was completely capable of driving, but I was probably pretty near the .08. Stupid...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A Timothy Intervention
As mentioned in my previous blog, Tim and I went out.
I called Tim at about 8PM because I had not heard of anything going on and Tim said that he may want to go out. I said, "Tim, Come Out and Play! I need someone to save me from myself." Haha, but no really, that is definitely a partial truth.
I have been nothing short of a psychopath for the last couple weeks and I needed a change of pace. Work has really taken a lot out of me as well as life outside of work, etc... Draining, physically and emotionally. Yesterday was my first day off from the gym since the 4th and Friday was my first full day off of work in that same time period. I have become quite the introvert, and for those of you who have known me for a long time, an introvert is not the best way to describe me. Soooooo anyways...
Tim and I were not really sure where we were going to go, soooo Tim put his sexy car(See a 3649Lb Orgasm post) on auto-pilot and we ended up parking at the Abbey. Hmmm, Weird, the Abbey?
We grabbed a drink and made fun of some older gentleman whom finds it fitting to wear his sunglasses at night, in a bar...and if you are blind and use them as eye shields, my apologies...but yeah, we kinda milled around for a bit and looked at people...errr...Well I frantically searched for a pretty face and Tim stared at "Barman" until i had to wipe the drool off of his chin. There was one pretty face in a (couldn't actually tell)light blue/lavender/teal/aquamarine/sea foam green/mint green/turquoise colored shirt with a really neat tattoo on his arm. He was there with his also attractive friend and a lady friend. I kinda made quick eye contact but, being the pansy that I am, I looked away quickly and pretended to ignore him. Smooth...Jesus I suck...We got our drinks from "Barman" and headed into the adjacent room where they followed us, stood there for five minute, RIGHT NEXT TO US, STARED AT US, and still, all I could do was look at Tim and talk about something totally stupid, like (Here comes my George Cleveland Shout-out) Zoroastrianism, the 1985 Danny White led Dallas Cowboys, Vanna White, or other supercilious topics. I need to work on my "game". Maybe I will take another trip to Inglewood and have one of my homies teach me how to "Holler at dem hoes"...
Anyways, Tim and I moved on and were standing at the front and saw Phil and said hello. I turned around to find Tim and he was gone, just like that. He had been abducted by an absolutely smashed foreign couple who were slow-dancing to a different beat. Tim, kinda looked at me with that, "Please God Strike Me Dead So This Will Stop" kind of look and called me over then I got sucked in. The couple had their arms around Tim and I and the lady was getting frisky. We escaped just in time as the couple started making out. It was only 1:30 but Timothy was tired and I was getting inexplicably grumpy. I guess it just comes with old age, so we headed out. I needed a night out without any pressure or stress and I got it. I feel as refreshed as a hung-over person might expect to feel.
I was supposed to go wine tasting today for a few friends birthdays but I really was not in the mood to get into my car and drive to SD by myself. I asked a few people to go, but none of them seemed too enthused about it, so I kinda stopped pursuing it. Cut your losses right? Alright all, enjoy the rest of your weekend!
B
I called Tim at about 8PM because I had not heard of anything going on and Tim said that he may want to go out. I said, "Tim, Come Out and Play! I need someone to save me from myself." Haha, but no really, that is definitely a partial truth.
I have been nothing short of a psychopath for the last couple weeks and I needed a change of pace. Work has really taken a lot out of me as well as life outside of work, etc... Draining, physically and emotionally. Yesterday was my first day off from the gym since the 4th and Friday was my first full day off of work in that same time period. I have become quite the introvert, and for those of you who have known me for a long time, an introvert is not the best way to describe me. Soooooo anyways...
Tim and I were not really sure where we were going to go, soooo Tim put his sexy car(See a 3649Lb Orgasm post) on auto-pilot and we ended up parking at the Abbey. Hmmm, Weird, the Abbey?
We grabbed a drink and made fun of some older gentleman whom finds it fitting to wear his sunglasses at night, in a bar...and if you are blind and use them as eye shields, my apologies...but yeah, we kinda milled around for a bit and looked at people...errr...Well I frantically searched for a pretty face and Tim stared at "Barman" until i had to wipe the drool off of his chin. There was one pretty face in a (couldn't actually tell)light blue/lavender/teal/aquamarine/sea foam green/mint green/turquoise colored shirt with a really neat tattoo on his arm. He was there with his also attractive friend and a lady friend. I kinda made quick eye contact but, being the pansy that I am, I looked away quickly and pretended to ignore him. Smooth...Jesus I suck...We got our drinks from "Barman" and headed into the adjacent room where they followed us, stood there for five minute, RIGHT NEXT TO US, STARED AT US, and still, all I could do was look at Tim and talk about something totally stupid, like (Here comes my George Cleveland Shout-out) Zoroastrianism, the 1985 Danny White led Dallas Cowboys, Vanna White, or other supercilious topics. I need to work on my "game". Maybe I will take another trip to Inglewood and have one of my homies teach me how to "Holler at dem hoes"...
Anyways, Tim and I moved on and were standing at the front and saw Phil and said hello. I turned around to find Tim and he was gone, just like that. He had been abducted by an absolutely smashed foreign couple who were slow-dancing to a different beat. Tim, kinda looked at me with that, "Please God Strike Me Dead So This Will Stop" kind of look and called me over then I got sucked in. The couple had their arms around Tim and I and the lady was getting frisky. We escaped just in time as the couple started making out. It was only 1:30 but Timothy was tired and I was getting inexplicably grumpy. I guess it just comes with old age, so we headed out. I needed a night out without any pressure or stress and I got it. I feel as refreshed as a hung-over person might expect to feel.
I was supposed to go wine tasting today for a few friends birthdays but I really was not in the mood to get into my car and drive to SD by myself. I asked a few people to go, but none of them seemed too enthused about it, so I kinda stopped pursuing it. Cut your losses right? Alright all, enjoy the rest of your weekend!
B
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Brandon and the Triple Date...
I went to Dinner last night at Maggiano's Little Italy at The Grove with Nareth, Tim and Tim's friends Shelly. Had a good time. I have not really talked to Tim in a while in depth, and Nareth had not seen him since October so it was nice to catch up.
After dinner, Rettles and I went to Phil and RD's to pre-drink before we went to the bars...Baller's on a Budget...We had five or six shots of Vodka and Papaya juice and then headed out. We went to Rage and got on the dance floor, I started dancing and Rettles looked at me and shook his head. He said, like a hula hoop, dance like you're hula hooping! So I Hula hooped for a little bit, and then it went south again...He looked at me again, and this time looked disgusted, he said, "Just try and feel the music." I said I'm white, this is how we feel music....I was feeling it so hard my hand was sliding up the songs thigh and going for the crotch...however, my movements weren't reflecting it....And that, ladies and gentlemen how I dance...I will take charity dance lessons if someone REALLY feels sorry for me...
Nareth said, c'mon, lets just get another drink...I concurred...
We had another drink or two and decided it was time to take off.
***Fast forward to tonight***
Tim and I are going out again tonight, not sure where, but we'll see where it goes...I'm sure I'll have something to blog about tomorrow! haha
After dinner, Rettles and I went to Phil and RD's to pre-drink before we went to the bars...Baller's on a Budget...We had five or six shots of Vodka and Papaya juice and then headed out. We went to Rage and got on the dance floor, I started dancing and Rettles looked at me and shook his head. He said, like a hula hoop, dance like you're hula hooping! So I Hula hooped for a little bit, and then it went south again...He looked at me again, and this time looked disgusted, he said, "Just try and feel the music." I said I'm white, this is how we feel music....I was feeling it so hard my hand was sliding up the songs thigh and going for the crotch...however, my movements weren't reflecting it....And that, ladies and gentlemen how I dance...I will take charity dance lessons if someone REALLY feels sorry for me...
Nareth said, c'mon, lets just get another drink...I concurred...
We had another drink or two and decided it was time to take off.
***Fast forward to tonight***
Tim and I are going out again tonight, not sure where, but we'll see where it goes...I'm sure I'll have something to blog about tomorrow! haha
The Darwin Awards
One of my personal favorites is the Darwin Awards. Read on...
It's that time again: The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine that toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.
This year's winner was a real rocket scientist ... !
Read on, and remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.
The nominees were:
Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he rushed to vomit into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his unfortunate sister.
Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles (HARD to control light airplanes when everyone moves to one side).
Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston , VA man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael , a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'
Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend -- no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate -- was hospitalized.
Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter.
Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.
Now, to the winner of this year's Darwin Award
(awarded, as always, posthumously):
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist ... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.
You couldn't make this stuff up, could you?
It's that time again: The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine that toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.
This year's winner was a real rocket scientist ... !
Read on, and remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.
The nominees were:
Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he rushed to vomit into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his unfortunate sister.
Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles (HARD to control light airplanes when everyone moves to one side).
Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston , VA man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael , a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'
Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend -- no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate -- was hospitalized.
Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter.
Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.
Now, to the winner of this year's Darwin Award
(awarded, as always, posthumously):
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist ... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.
You couldn't make this stuff up, could you?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Always up to no good...
This is going to be the most offensive blog that I have ever written. You have been warned so I don't want to hear anyone whining about the inappropriateness of it all. Get over it...
My First trip to Inglewood...
So I went to a job interview today for a fancy-schmancy restaurant in Manhattan Beach. The interview went really well except for the very last question he asked...He looked at my address and said, "Do You live in that West Hollywood area?" I was kinda taken aback by the question and he quickly covered his ass by saying, "Oh, I mean I am new to the area and just trying to get my bearings straight." Hmmmm, ok...
After my interview I went to Costco to get some goodies. I mapped it on my phone and found out that the nearest one was next to Hollywood Park Casino. So I headed up there and parked. I had no idea that I was in Inglewood til it was too late...This is where the offensive part begins. I think I will label this blog, Stereotypes...
I got out of my car, and Stereotype #1 occurred, a large tall man, probably almost 9 feet tall and about 3100 Lbs was pushing his cart while doing a "Gangster Lean," yes a Gangster Lean... I flashed my card at the door and notices a sign that said no personal checks...#2
I did not get past the mouthwash/body care section before I heard another Inglewoodian holler at his hoe, "You such a Chicken-Head, Get off yo damn phone." At this point I had busted up laughing, and had to escape to the frozen food section, where the old lady(who was, contrary to recent occurrences, very pleasant) was sampling Mickey Mouse Fried Chicken Nuggets. That's # 4. I went to the meat section, and all they had for chicken was drumsticks...skin on...no kidding. #5. Not a Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast in sight. There were signs throughout the store printed in English and Spanish that read, "Mind Your Children." Now that is not really a stereotype, however when the image on the sign is of the silhouetted woman dragging child dragging doll:
Which as we all know, pertains to immigration. So for the sake of making them seem more racially insensitive, I am going to tag that as #6.
I was loading my groceries into my car. It was hot as hell, so I turned my car on and rolled down the windows while i loaded the trunk. My CD player started and broke into "How Many Licks" by Lil Kim as a Woman was getting her two kids out of the car right next to me. I almost tripped over my own feet trying to get to front seat fast enough to turn my radio down. She just shook her head at me and shot me a dirty look...Why wouldn't that happen, right??
On my way out of the parking lot, I ran into THE other Caucasian patron. Or so I thought, when i passed him he was asking for change....
So my first/last trip to Inglewood was satisfactorily non-eventful, and I got a kick out of the Tyler Perry-esque generalities and stereotypes that I saw. David always claims to be a little bit "Hood", after living there for 6 months. I always give him crap about it, but now, I think I should give him a little more street cred! Haha
Oh Inglewood, you are always up to no good...
B
My First trip to Inglewood...
So I went to a job interview today for a fancy-schmancy restaurant in Manhattan Beach. The interview went really well except for the very last question he asked...He looked at my address and said, "Do You live in that West Hollywood area?" I was kinda taken aback by the question and he quickly covered his ass by saying, "Oh, I mean I am new to the area and just trying to get my bearings straight." Hmmmm, ok...
After my interview I went to Costco to get some goodies. I mapped it on my phone and found out that the nearest one was next to Hollywood Park Casino. So I headed up there and parked. I had no idea that I was in Inglewood til it was too late...This is where the offensive part begins. I think I will label this blog, Stereotypes...
I got out of my car, and Stereotype #1 occurred, a large tall man, probably almost 9 feet tall and about 3100 Lbs was pushing his cart while doing a "Gangster Lean," yes a Gangster Lean... I flashed my card at the door and notices a sign that said no personal checks...#2
I did not get past the mouthwash/body care section before I heard another Inglewoodian holler at his hoe, "You such a Chicken-Head, Get off yo damn phone." At this point I had busted up laughing, and had to escape to the frozen food section, where the old lady(who was, contrary to recent occurrences, very pleasant) was sampling Mickey Mouse Fried Chicken Nuggets. That's # 4. I went to the meat section, and all they had for chicken was drumsticks...skin on...no kidding. #5. Not a Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast in sight. There were signs throughout the store printed in English and Spanish that read, "Mind Your Children." Now that is not really a stereotype, however when the image on the sign is of the silhouetted woman dragging child dragging doll:
Which as we all know, pertains to immigration. So for the sake of making them seem more racially insensitive, I am going to tag that as #6.
I was loading my groceries into my car. It was hot as hell, so I turned my car on and rolled down the windows while i loaded the trunk. My CD player started and broke into "How Many Licks" by Lil Kim as a Woman was getting her two kids out of the car right next to me. I almost tripped over my own feet trying to get to front seat fast enough to turn my radio down. She just shook her head at me and shot me a dirty look...Why wouldn't that happen, right??
On my way out of the parking lot, I ran into THE other Caucasian patron. Or so I thought, when i passed him he was asking for change....
So my first/last trip to Inglewood was satisfactorily non-eventful, and I got a kick out of the Tyler Perry-esque generalities and stereotypes that I saw. David always claims to be a little bit "Hood", after living there for 6 months. I always give him crap about it, but now, I think I should give him a little more street cred! Haha
Oh Inglewood, you are always up to no good...
B
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I think therefore I am bored...
Sometimes I wish I was dumb. I wish my mind was numb. I wish I had a calm, complacent mind that did not wander...but INSTEAD....I am stuck with this big damn balding dome on top of my shoulders...When I am bored, my mind races, I think about everything, I worry about everything,I ponder all the what-ifs, how-comes, and why-woulds of everyday existence. I should be thinking about something constructive, like, where should I get a second Job, when should I return to school, how can I better myself, my life? etc. Instead I sit here on the couch, thinking, and sometimes its depressing, sometimes its enlightening, but every thought pertains to something that is out of my control. I cannot control what others do, think and feel, but I still manage to waste, what could be valuable time being consumed by thought. I have a philosophy about not sweating the small stuff in life, but recently I have not exactly adhered to that philosophy.
Maybe its just human nature to wonder...to put yourself in different situations and position, or maybe its the 5 shots of iced espresso that I have had over the last 30 minutes...Haha, either way, its time to get ready for work. Sorry I am not more entertaining today. I will try to pick another fight with the elderly/homeless for your entertainment...
B
Maybe its just human nature to wonder...to put yourself in different situations and position, or maybe its the 5 shots of iced espresso that I have had over the last 30 minutes...Haha, either way, its time to get ready for work. Sorry I am not more entertaining today. I will try to pick another fight with the elderly/homeless for your entertainment...
B
New idea...
So my life has been slow recently, at least on the blog front. No fights with the decrepit, drunken shenanigans or bar brawls to speak of. There have been some akward/confusing/frustrating situations of late, but I am saving those for a rainy day.
I did have one blog-worthy story to tell, I had the most impressive celebrity sighting ever today...I had what I think was an "Eric Estrada Sighting." You all know Eric Estrada from those silly pictures:
Oh, and he was also on some show "CHiP's" in the 80's...The best part, and again, I'm not 100% sure this was him, but he was parked at the BP gas station on Robertson and Olympic and was driving a refurbished Police Cruiser. I thought, Ohhhh, the Irony!!!
Allison and I went out to Bingo last night at Hamburger Mary's and met Nareth, Frangelo, Jeffery and Kris. Played a little gay bingo and then went over to OBar to see Kevin Barry for his 30th B-day. He was a bit sauced but had had a good night! I was sad to hear that he will be leaving back to cold Philadelphia at the end of February, but I guess that's life right?
We went to Fiesta for Karaoke and milled around for a little bit, Nareth taught me to dance like I'm hula hooping. Hahaha, fun times! Before long, I'm not going to need booze to dance! hahaha. I work today at 4 for a couple hours and then have Friday off which will be nice!!! Have a lovely Thursday people.
Brandon
I did have one blog-worthy story to tell, I had the most impressive celebrity sighting ever today...I had what I think was an "Eric Estrada Sighting." You all know Eric Estrada from those silly pictures:
Oh, and he was also on some show "CHiP's" in the 80's...The best part, and again, I'm not 100% sure this was him, but he was parked at the BP gas station on Robertson and Olympic and was driving a refurbished Police Cruiser. I thought, Ohhhh, the Irony!!!
Allison and I went out to Bingo last night at Hamburger Mary's and met Nareth, Frangelo, Jeffery and Kris. Played a little gay bingo and then went over to OBar to see Kevin Barry for his 30th B-day. He was a bit sauced but had had a good night! I was sad to hear that he will be leaving back to cold Philadelphia at the end of February, but I guess that's life right?
We went to Fiesta for Karaoke and milled around for a little bit, Nareth taught me to dance like I'm hula hooping. Hahaha, fun times! Before long, I'm not going to need booze to dance! hahaha. I work today at 4 for a couple hours and then have Friday off which will be nice!!! Have a lovely Thursday people.
Brandon
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
For all you Twitter A-holes...Brett...
I am on twitter now and am tweeting(sp?) I hate technology! But add me!
Brandon1982
Later
Brandon1982
Later
An MJ's kinda night...
I'll start off by saying that I feel a little better than I did yesterday about life and connections and that I feel as though I have hit the reset button on life which was something that I was not really allowed to do in the last few months. :-)
I went to MJ's last night with David, Richard and Ellis and met a few friends that I have not seen in awhile, Patrick, Brian and Adrian. It was great to catch up with everyone. In typical MJ's fashion, there was gross 80's porn on the TV along with some gross 80's Go-Go dancers on stage...We grabbed a quick drink and headed outside. After meandering around for an hour or so, we headed back in to dance for a little bit. Yes, dance, Yes, Me. The more that I go out with Rich and Davie the more I dance. I cannot help it...I am slowly becoming less white, well at least I am exhibiting less of the "White Boy Dance Stereotype". Not that I know how to dance, or that it looks even remotely like dancing, its fun to just let your inhibitions go and move around a bit.
So we were dancing around and some big gross sweaty guy bumped into me, and "saturated" my right arm...Bleh!!! I moved forward a bit and he slammed into me again. At this point he was pretty much grinding on me, I kept trying to move away and he kept getting right back on me. I was surrounded by attractive people, and this guys was on me? Really? Damn the luck! Whatever, I had a lot of fun with the guys and look forward to doing it again sometime soon.
Oh and Adrian, Banana Penis Porn, I told you I'd remember!
I got work today from 3-9 and then might be going to Karaoke tonight with Allison at Fiesta. I think we are doing a Duet, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee. We'll see how that goes. Talk at y'all later.
I went to MJ's last night with David, Richard and Ellis and met a few friends that I have not seen in awhile, Patrick, Brian and Adrian. It was great to catch up with everyone. In typical MJ's fashion, there was gross 80's porn on the TV along with some gross 80's Go-Go dancers on stage...We grabbed a quick drink and headed outside. After meandering around for an hour or so, we headed back in to dance for a little bit. Yes, dance, Yes, Me. The more that I go out with Rich and Davie the more I dance. I cannot help it...I am slowly becoming less white, well at least I am exhibiting less of the "White Boy Dance Stereotype". Not that I know how to dance, or that it looks even remotely like dancing, its fun to just let your inhibitions go and move around a bit.
So we were dancing around and some big gross sweaty guy bumped into me, and "saturated" my right arm...Bleh!!! I moved forward a bit and he slammed into me again. At this point he was pretty much grinding on me, I kept trying to move away and he kept getting right back on me. I was surrounded by attractive people, and this guys was on me? Really? Damn the luck! Whatever, I had a lot of fun with the guys and look forward to doing it again sometime soon.
Oh and Adrian, Banana Penis Porn, I told you I'd remember!
I got work today from 3-9 and then might be going to Karaoke tonight with Allison at Fiesta. I think we are doing a Duet, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee. We'll see how that goes. Talk at y'all later.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Some ties are meant to be cut...
And some loose ends are meant to be tied up...I need to figure myself and my "ties" out, and soon, because its really screwing shit up. Thats all that I am going to say about that.
In other news, I almost had a heart-attack today. Really, I may have been pretty close. I went to the gym this morning and shot some hoops for a little bit. It felt good to jump around for 30 minutes or so. I had not played basketball since Meech and I dominated psychopaths at the Hollywood Arclight 24 back in June. It got my heart rate racing and my blood pumping. I was going to go and do some quick cardio and then head home to get ready for work. My right knee which usually prevents me high impact cardio(treadmill) felt good and loose so I decided to get on the treadmill. I just started running! It felt great. My heart was racing i could feel my pulse in my temples. About 25 minutes later, which is probably the longest I have ever ran...ever...ever...I reached down and grabbed the heart rate monitor and was astonished!!!! My heart rate was 196bpm...WTF? I let it go and grabbed it again and it said 195. Ok, time to stop. I normally have a slow resting heart rate, about 50-54 bpm. It has been an hour since I left the gym and it is still about 84bpm...Hmmm, no more treadmill for awhile...
In other less boring news, oh no wait there is no other news... *sigh*
In other news, I almost had a heart-attack today. Really, I may have been pretty close. I went to the gym this morning and shot some hoops for a little bit. It felt good to jump around for 30 minutes or so. I had not played basketball since Meech and I dominated psychopaths at the Hollywood Arclight 24 back in June. It got my heart rate racing and my blood pumping. I was going to go and do some quick cardio and then head home to get ready for work. My right knee which usually prevents me high impact cardio(treadmill) felt good and loose so I decided to get on the treadmill. I just started running! It felt great. My heart was racing i could feel my pulse in my temples. About 25 minutes later, which is probably the longest I have ever ran...ever...ever...I reached down and grabbed the heart rate monitor and was astonished!!!! My heart rate was 196bpm...WTF? I let it go and grabbed it again and it said 195. Ok, time to stop. I normally have a slow resting heart rate, about 50-54 bpm. It has been an hour since I left the gym and it is still about 84bpm...Hmmm, no more treadmill for awhile...
In other less boring news, oh no wait there is no other news... *sigh*
Monday, January 12, 2009
Tags
So I went through and tagged my blog posts accordingly to get an idea of what my rants have involved. My most common tags are "Philosophical Bullshit", "Booze" and "Euthanasia". Hmmm, intriguing
Just a couple of Tid-Bits
As my work day was winding down and coming to a close, I was pondering what to do with myself after work. Gym? Food? A Movie? Thankfully, David text me and answered my question. He and his roommate Richard were going out for a quick beverage and to meet with Richards new "Squeeze" who, by the way, is really cool.
We got to Foxtail around 10:30 or so. None of us had ever been there before, but apparently it was gay night on this one particular Sunday. Richard met up with Ellis and a couple of his friends. They were all really nice. Tony and Dan I think their names were, and we danced the night away...Well, realistically, I shuffled my stupid white feet around and bobbed my head, like white people do when they attempt this "Dance" thing.
Normally I prefer dancing "with/against" someone, but as soon as that someone got a little closer, I just locked up and froze like a pre-pubescent boy at his first middle-school dance, wondering if its her "Koodies" that are making his loins tingle...sigh...What the hell Brandon? Dumb-ass...
Alright, enough about my strife, lets talk wine...I am planning on going to Temecula on Sunday for a wine tasting with a bunch of my hetero-life-mates from San Diego. I think I wanna gay it up a bit, anyone wanna go? It might be an all day excursion, I'll drive, and yes...I'll stay sober. For those of you who know me well, I am making quite the sacrafice staying sober on a winery trip! I just want some good company and some good times! Give me a bell if you are interested...
We got to Foxtail around 10:30 or so. None of us had ever been there before, but apparently it was gay night on this one particular Sunday. Richard met up with Ellis and a couple of his friends. They were all really nice. Tony and Dan I think their names were, and we danced the night away...Well, realistically, I shuffled my stupid white feet around and bobbed my head, like white people do when they attempt this "Dance" thing.
Normally I prefer dancing "with/against" someone, but as soon as that someone got a little closer, I just locked up and froze like a pre-pubescent boy at his first middle-school dance, wondering if its her "Koodies" that are making his loins tingle...sigh...What the hell Brandon? Dumb-ass...
Alright, enough about my strife, lets talk wine...I am planning on going to Temecula on Sunday for a wine tasting with a bunch of my hetero-life-mates from San Diego. I think I wanna gay it up a bit, anyone wanna go? It might be an all day excursion, I'll drive, and yes...I'll stay sober. For those of you who know me well, I am making quite the sacrafice staying sober on a winery trip! I just want some good company and some good times! Give me a bell if you are interested...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Karaoke!
I would like to preface this blog by saying GO CHARGERS!!! The Bolts play in crappy freezing cold Pittsburgh today and are going to need to play flawless...We'll see what happens...
And now, onto the Juicy Bits!
I got out of work last night around 9PM and raced out to Korea Town to meet Nareth and the girls at Yose Karaoke Bar. I was exhausted from work but felt like I needed to go out.
As soon as I walked into the room Ron poured me a beverage and it was ON! I could not drink that much because I was driving, but I got my fair share. Enough to sing backup on a couple songs, Don't Stop Believing (Journey), Don't Speak (No Doubt), and of course, YMCA, what else would you sing in a room full of drunk gays. haha. Everyone was seemingly having a great time. We were there for about 3 hours and then most headed home but a few of us, Nareth, Kevin, Mario, Jorrell and Myself, headed to the Abbey. I was the fifth leg, but its ok. We got a drink and decided to call it a night.
I had a blast on my first Karaoke night, and hope that there are more. Next time, someone can drive me that way I can let my true singing talent show!! God help all of you...Haha
And now, onto the Juicy Bits!
I got out of work last night around 9PM and raced out to Korea Town to meet Nareth and the girls at Yose Karaoke Bar. I was exhausted from work but felt like I needed to go out.
As soon as I walked into the room Ron poured me a beverage and it was ON! I could not drink that much because I was driving, but I got my fair share. Enough to sing backup on a couple songs, Don't Stop Believing (Journey), Don't Speak (No Doubt), and of course, YMCA, what else would you sing in a room full of drunk gays. haha. Everyone was seemingly having a great time. We were there for about 3 hours and then most headed home but a few of us, Nareth, Kevin, Mario, Jorrell and Myself, headed to the Abbey. I was the fifth leg, but its ok. We got a drink and decided to call it a night.
I had a blast on my first Karaoke night, and hope that there are more. Next time, someone can drive me that way I can let my true singing talent show!! God help all of you...Haha
Saturday, January 10, 2009
OLD PEOPLE!!! ARGH!
I was just at Vons on Fairfax and Pico and had just finished loading up my car, got in closed my door and got ready to back out. An old man, probably around the age of 410, pulled into the spot next to me in his MASSIVE Cadillac. I was waiting for him to pull all the way in so that I could back out. His buddy in the passenger seat throws his door open into mine. Keep in mind, I am sitting in my car with my window down looking at them. He then proceeds to get out of the car look at me, look at my door and then close his. I said "Excuse Me, You just hit my car." He looked at me and said, "No I didn't, I don't understand." So I smiled, looked straight ahead grit my teeth, rolled up my window and left.
My heel was pulsating the entire time too...
Is Obama Pro Euthanasia?
My heel was pulsating the entire time too...
Is Obama Pro Euthanasia?
Why Can't Life Be Easy?
Because then it would not be called "Life". It would be called "Easy". God I'm philosophical...
***CAUTION*** THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SOME DEEP SHIT!! READ WITH DISCRETION. Hehe
I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days since getting back from San Diego. Thinking about where I am at right now, relationships(or lack there of), friendships and work related stuff. And I have come to the conclusion that without a little struggle in life I would have completely lost interest by now. I get frustrated with myself and others sometimes because I am not certain of what is going on. I like to know what people think (both about me, and in general), and I like to know intentions. I have always been a decent judge on character/intent, and I think that is one of the reasons that I still have 4 close friends from the age of 6, Ryan Arant, Alan Brimer, Aimee Davignon and James Barlow. I am right now though at a loss. I feel like I have become a bit disconnected from those around me and those that I think I really care about or have the potential to really care about. I am happy to have made some new friends recently, but am not able to read intent. This is something that only time can solve. It is also something that makes me a big friggin' "Worry Wort." Its one of those situations where I just need to keep playing the game of life, and see where my path takes me. I have come to the realization that in the game of "Life", no matter how hard it is, and how alone and somber you feel, you never really lose the game until you quit playing.
In other news, Marlene Okner, yes you Marlene, has left us at work for greener pastures and ridiculous schedules! I work 15 of the next 16 days and my only day off is a crappy Monday. I am taking Sundays off starting on the 18th and am going to enjoy every bit of them. It will be nice to have a lazy day off when all my amigos are off too. The one problem with being in the service/hospitality industry is that your schedule is usually pretty effed-up as Marsa says.
My Chargers are playing tomorrow at 1:00PM. I work at 2:00.. :-| Really? They are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh and are NOT at all favorites based on Vegas odds. We'll see how that goes. God knows I'll have ESPN Gamecast up at work watching every play! I hope its not busy on Sunday, because I'm not doing a DAMN THING!
I went out last night with Alex and Joel to the Abbey and met up with Phil, Frang, the Jeffs, Mark, Dindo and a couple others. It was a good time. I kinda sat back and listened to the conversations around me, trying to drink it all in.
Frangelo's man proposed to him on Xmas Day up in the Bay and bought him a really nice ring. I don't know them very well at all, but I am really happy to see the gays standing up to this proposition 8 BS. My advice, go to San Francisco, and let Mayor(Future Governor?) Newsome marry you to spite the 52% of this hateful state.
A couple of Dindo's amigos were drunk and bashing each other and one of them used a racial epithet for a person of Arab origin that also contains a racial slur for a black person...You figure it out...Normally people say whatever and I don't really get that offended. This time was no different, but I still thought about it all the way home. I thought about it long enough that I had a dream last night. I for some reason remember this dream VERY VIVIDLY!
I was at dinner with the cast of Family Matters, Yes, Family Matters, Carl, Harriet, Eddie, Laura, Judy(Who is now an adult filmstar), Richie, Aunt Rachel, Grandma Estelle, Urkel, Waldo and even Urkel's gf Myra...Don't ask. Anyways, every time I opened my mouth a racial slur came out. Finally, Harriet asked me to leave dinner because I was making everyone upset. I woke up with tears in my eyes...WTF is wrong with me? haha
I think that's it, for now at least. I have not had any more run-ins with older Jewish woman which, of course, is a good thing. Today is Saturday though and they are all out walking like zombies. I need to be careful...
***CAUTION*** THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SOME DEEP SHIT!! READ WITH DISCRETION. Hehe
I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days since getting back from San Diego. Thinking about where I am at right now, relationships(or lack there of), friendships and work related stuff. And I have come to the conclusion that without a little struggle in life I would have completely lost interest by now. I get frustrated with myself and others sometimes because I am not certain of what is going on. I like to know what people think (both about me, and in general), and I like to know intentions. I have always been a decent judge on character/intent, and I think that is one of the reasons that I still have 4 close friends from the age of 6, Ryan Arant, Alan Brimer, Aimee Davignon and James Barlow. I am right now though at a loss. I feel like I have become a bit disconnected from those around me and those that I think I really care about or have the potential to really care about. I am happy to have made some new friends recently, but am not able to read intent. This is something that only time can solve. It is also something that makes me a big friggin' "Worry Wort." Its one of those situations where I just need to keep playing the game of life, and see where my path takes me. I have come to the realization that in the game of "Life", no matter how hard it is, and how alone and somber you feel, you never really lose the game until you quit playing.
In other news, Marlene Okner, yes you Marlene, has left us at work for greener pastures and ridiculous schedules! I work 15 of the next 16 days and my only day off is a crappy Monday. I am taking Sundays off starting on the 18th and am going to enjoy every bit of them. It will be nice to have a lazy day off when all my amigos are off too. The one problem with being in the service/hospitality industry is that your schedule is usually pretty effed-up as Marsa says.
My Chargers are playing tomorrow at 1:00PM. I work at 2:00.. :-| Really? They are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh and are NOT at all favorites based on Vegas odds. We'll see how that goes. God knows I'll have ESPN Gamecast up at work watching every play! I hope its not busy on Sunday, because I'm not doing a DAMN THING!
I went out last night with Alex and Joel to the Abbey and met up with Phil, Frang, the Jeffs, Mark, Dindo and a couple others. It was a good time. I kinda sat back and listened to the conversations around me, trying to drink it all in.
Frangelo's man proposed to him on Xmas Day up in the Bay and bought him a really nice ring. I don't know them very well at all, but I am really happy to see the gays standing up to this proposition 8 BS. My advice, go to San Francisco, and let Mayor(Future Governor?) Newsome marry you to spite the 52% of this hateful state.
A couple of Dindo's amigos were drunk and bashing each other and one of them used a racial epithet for a person of Arab origin that also contains a racial slur for a black person...You figure it out...Normally people say whatever and I don't really get that offended. This time was no different, but I still thought about it all the way home. I thought about it long enough that I had a dream last night. I for some reason remember this dream VERY VIVIDLY!
I was at dinner with the cast of Family Matters, Yes, Family Matters, Carl, Harriet, Eddie, Laura, Judy(Who is now an adult filmstar), Richie, Aunt Rachel, Grandma Estelle, Urkel, Waldo and even Urkel's gf Myra...Don't ask. Anyways, every time I opened my mouth a racial slur came out. Finally, Harriet asked me to leave dinner because I was making everyone upset. I woke up with tears in my eyes...WTF is wrong with me? haha
I think that's it, for now at least. I have not had any more run-ins with older Jewish woman which, of course, is a good thing. Today is Saturday though and they are all out walking like zombies. I need to be careful...
Friday, January 9, 2009
Man Crush...
I think I have another new "Man-Crush." I am "Crushing" for Chris Martin. He realeased a song called Lhuna with Kylie Minogue in honor of World AID's Day on December 1st. It is a haunting song with haunting vocals and a good message.
Enjoy. Use it as background music for your readings!
Kylie:
I’m all by myself
I don’t need anybody else
I’m all by myself
No help
I’m all on my own
Quietly sleeping in my home
I’m all on my own
my own
Chris:
Hello
Won’t you let me come in?
Lhuna, can’t you hear how much I’m suffering?
Hello
Won’t you let me know?
Cos I’m all alone
all alone
Both:
We are dreaming about Lhuna
The smell of her
The touch and the taste of her
dreaming about Lhuna
Her and me, simultaneously
Kylie:
I don’t know what the time is
I don’t know where you’ve flown
And I don’t know why you’re so far
from home
Chris:
Hello
Won’t you let me come in?
Lhuna, can’t you hear how much I’m suffering?
Hello
Won’t you let me know?
Cos I’m all alone
all alone
Both:
We are dreaming about Lhuna
The smell of her
The touch and the taste of her
dreaming about Lhuna
Her and me, simultaneously
Her and me, effortlessly
oh her and me effortlessly
Enjoy. Use it as background music for your readings!
Kylie:
I’m all by myself
I don’t need anybody else
I’m all by myself
No help
I’m all on my own
Quietly sleeping in my home
I’m all on my own
my own
Chris:
Hello
Won’t you let me come in?
Lhuna, can’t you hear how much I’m suffering?
Hello
Won’t you let me know?
Cos I’m all alone
all alone
Both:
We are dreaming about Lhuna
The smell of her
The touch and the taste of her
dreaming about Lhuna
Her and me, simultaneously
Kylie:
I don’t know what the time is
I don’t know where you’ve flown
And I don’t know why you’re so far
from home
Chris:
Hello
Won’t you let me come in?
Lhuna, can’t you hear how much I’m suffering?
Hello
Won’t you let me know?
Cos I’m all alone
all alone
Both:
We are dreaming about Lhuna
The smell of her
The touch and the taste of her
dreaming about Lhuna
Her and me, simultaneously
Her and me, effortlessly
oh her and me effortlessly
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Nothing to report
So really nothing interesting has happened over the last two days. My heel feels a bit better and the floating piece of whatever that I thought was a bone spur is no longer floating...Do they ever just go back in? I have had the last two days off and have ran some errands including getting a memory card reader from Best Buy so that I can upload the wedding pics among others. Hope everyone has a great day, I'm off to get Pho and go to work!
B
B
Monday, January 5, 2009
Resolutions
I have spent the last couple days, when I have not been busy with work, bachelor parties, weddings etc. compiling a short list of resolutions that I would like to make for a better 2009. Some of them are realistic, some are not realistic and some of them have already been tossed out the window. I have characterized them as the "Good(likely to be followed)" the "Bad(fat chance)" and the "Ugly(ooops, too late)".
Enjoy!
THE GOOD(Highly Likely)
1. I want to get in shape. Since returning from China I have lost 26Lbs via watching what I eat and 4-5 times a week gym trips. Those of you who have seen me before may notice, but on a 6'4" frame 26 Lbs is not a lot. I weigh in at 182Lbs right now and would like to stay there, while reducing my body fat % which I assume is about 346%. Meech and I got a kick out of a show on LOGO called Rick and Steve, where they referred to someone as being "Skinny Fat". We decided that we were both "Skinny Fat". We chuckled and then got depressed, haha. I resolve to maintain my gym schedule and have the necessary yet gay cliche six pack by the end of February.
2. I have had a history of getting myself into trouble when drunk. Nothing too serious, since the 1st(and only) annual "Gobble-de-Gook Sprint(if you don't know, ask someone from Davis)". However I have, over the last year, developed a nasty habit of Drunk texting/calling/e-mailing that has gotten me into trouble, a lot. I need help on this one. If we are all laughing/happy/drunk and I am on my phone in a corner someone intervene!! Do me a favor and rip it out of my hands. I resolve to no longer bury myself in my phone when I have been imbibing...
3. I want spend more quality time with friends. I have a couple friends up here, some new some old. When I hang out with those friends I get Euphoric. I am a happier person and feel like I am on top of the world. I don't know why I am like this, maybe I just subconsciously seek their approval, but whatever. All I know is that being around this handful of people is better than any high I have ever had. I resolve to allow my friendships to blossom at their own speed, and to take advantage of the time I have with this handful of people.
THE BAD(A Tad Bit Less Likely)
1. I would like to cut alcohol, or at least most of it out of my diet and budget. At $14/drink for a drink with 3-4 ounces of booze, The abbey is a bad influence on my waistline and my budget. The Abbey among others is a perfect example of an opportunistic merchant. Gays tend to be depressed, therefore they drink. They also tend to have disposable income and actually budget for weekly alcohol expenses. Most of the time this budget allowance comes out of the food fund. Who needs to eat when you can be on a diet of Methamphetamine, Camel Lights and Vodka. No wonder thay are all so skinny! I'm glad I'm not THAT gay...I resolve to not spend more than $20 a night when I go out and to not go out more than twice weekly maximum.
2. I would like to get my own place, or at least my own bedroom. David Just got a sweet deal last week on a place in my neighborhood, and it is definitely within reach. I love my living situation right now, roomies are great, rent is fairly cheap, but realistically, nothing beats having your own room. This is where the second job comes in. With a second job my options will expand greatly. I resolve to put myself in the position to find my own room within by April.
3. I would like to get a second job. I am not bored with the one that I have, in fact I really do enjoy it, however, I need to take advantage of the fact that I have lots of free time and no one or nothing to really spend it on or with. David had suggested that I get a hobby. But hobbies are expensive. Therefore a second job, maybe bartending 10-20 hours a week would be lovely. I resolve to make a valid effort to seek out additional employment.
4. This goes hand in hand with the one about staying in shape. I would love to spoil my body. This means weekly massage and steam room trips 4-5 times a week. I have access to the massage at work and I have access to the steam at Toppers. I just need to stop coming up with excuses on why I cannot treat myself more often. I resolve to take advantage of the benefits that I have.
THE UGLY(Probably Already Broken)
1. I drive too fast. I have always driven too fast. I might continue to drive too fast. If the freeway is empty and it is late at night, I have no qualms about getting from point A to B at 100mph. I know it is stupid, but the risk is low. If I am tired or there are other cars on the road, I sit in the mid lanes at 70mph. I do not drive recklessly with other people in my car. When there is someone else in my car, they are my responsibility. Timmy got into a fender bender recently and has since then put a sign in his car that reads "Slow Down!" The reason that this is an "Ugly" resolution is because it has already been broken multiple times. I drive like a maniac, and every time I don't consciously think about slowing down, I look at my speedometer and see lots of big numbers...
2. This applies to #2 in the "Good" resolution section. I have already sent out a couple of idiotic emails, texts and voicemails. The reason that I put this up there and down here is because I'd like to characterize this as something completely different. I belong to a club, and I am the only member. I am the President of DCA, the Drunk Communicators Anonymous. I have fallen off the wagon a few times already and will most likely continue, but I just gotta get back on the wagon! haha
NO MORE DRUNK COMMUNICATIONS!
THE UGLIER(Not a Snowballs Chance in Hell)
1. I would like to think I could stop getting into "Skirmishes" with the elderly, seeing as how I went to the gym this morning and could barely walk on my "'Geriatrically' Assaulted" heels. But this one is out of my control. I have so far been called a "queer" by "Father Time" at Trader Joe's in West Hollywood, A "Big Bald Asshole" by this salt and peppered nut job on Santa Monica, and my most recent run-in with this Yiddish squawking crow at Walgreens. And this is all since the beginning of September!!! I think this one is really out of my hands. I need to wear a shirt that says "I karate chop the elderly" for intimidation purposes.
Oh and speaking of "Walgreens Hussy", I wrote the story and got 14 texts messages from friends who read it say things like, and I quote, "I totally though you would have kcked(sp) the old biddy's ass" and "I could just see you knocking her in the face with your gallon of milk" and, my personal favorite "...i imagine you had a VERY tough decision to make there...there's something about clocking the battleaxe that would be severely satisfying..." REALLY??? Do I come across as the kind of person that smacks around the youth challenged? I hope not...Hope y'all have a lovely Monday. I'm out...
If I can think of anymore I will post them. Anyone else have any fun resolutions?
Enjoy!
THE GOOD(Highly Likely)
1. I want to get in shape. Since returning from China I have lost 26Lbs via watching what I eat and 4-5 times a week gym trips. Those of you who have seen me before may notice, but on a 6'4" frame 26 Lbs is not a lot. I weigh in at 182Lbs right now and would like to stay there, while reducing my body fat % which I assume is about 346%. Meech and I got a kick out of a show on LOGO called Rick and Steve, where they referred to someone as being "Skinny Fat". We decided that we were both "Skinny Fat". We chuckled and then got depressed, haha. I resolve to maintain my gym schedule and have the necessary yet gay cliche six pack by the end of February.
2. I have had a history of getting myself into trouble when drunk. Nothing too serious, since the 1st(and only) annual "Gobble-de-Gook Sprint(if you don't know, ask someone from Davis)". However I have, over the last year, developed a nasty habit of Drunk texting/calling/e-mailing that has gotten me into trouble, a lot. I need help on this one. If we are all laughing/happy/drunk and I am on my phone in a corner someone intervene!! Do me a favor and rip it out of my hands. I resolve to no longer bury myself in my phone when I have been imbibing...
3. I want spend more quality time with friends. I have a couple friends up here, some new some old. When I hang out with those friends I get Euphoric. I am a happier person and feel like I am on top of the world. I don't know why I am like this, maybe I just subconsciously seek their approval, but whatever. All I know is that being around this handful of people is better than any high I have ever had. I resolve to allow my friendships to blossom at their own speed, and to take advantage of the time I have with this handful of people.
THE BAD(A Tad Bit Less Likely)
1. I would like to cut alcohol, or at least most of it out of my diet and budget. At $14/drink for a drink with 3-4 ounces of booze, The abbey is a bad influence on my waistline and my budget. The Abbey among others is a perfect example of an opportunistic merchant. Gays tend to be depressed, therefore they drink. They also tend to have disposable income and actually budget for weekly alcohol expenses. Most of the time this budget allowance comes out of the food fund. Who needs to eat when you can be on a diet of Methamphetamine, Camel Lights and Vodka. No wonder thay are all so skinny! I'm glad I'm not THAT gay...I resolve to not spend more than $20 a night when I go out and to not go out more than twice weekly maximum.
2. I would like to get my own place, or at least my own bedroom. David Just got a sweet deal last week on a place in my neighborhood, and it is definitely within reach. I love my living situation right now, roomies are great, rent is fairly cheap, but realistically, nothing beats having your own room. This is where the second job comes in. With a second job my options will expand greatly. I resolve to put myself in the position to find my own room within by April.
3. I would like to get a second job. I am not bored with the one that I have, in fact I really do enjoy it, however, I need to take advantage of the fact that I have lots of free time and no one or nothing to really spend it on or with. David had suggested that I get a hobby. But hobbies are expensive. Therefore a second job, maybe bartending 10-20 hours a week would be lovely. I resolve to make a valid effort to seek out additional employment.
4. This goes hand in hand with the one about staying in shape. I would love to spoil my body. This means weekly massage and steam room trips 4-5 times a week. I have access to the massage at work and I have access to the steam at Toppers. I just need to stop coming up with excuses on why I cannot treat myself more often. I resolve to take advantage of the benefits that I have.
THE UGLY(Probably Already Broken)
1. I drive too fast. I have always driven too fast. I might continue to drive too fast. If the freeway is empty and it is late at night, I have no qualms about getting from point A to B at 100mph. I know it is stupid, but the risk is low. If I am tired or there are other cars on the road, I sit in the mid lanes at 70mph. I do not drive recklessly with other people in my car. When there is someone else in my car, they are my responsibility. Timmy got into a fender bender recently and has since then put a sign in his car that reads "Slow Down!" The reason that this is an "Ugly" resolution is because it has already been broken multiple times. I drive like a maniac, and every time I don't consciously think about slowing down, I look at my speedometer and see lots of big numbers...
2. This applies to #2 in the "Good" resolution section. I have already sent out a couple of idiotic emails, texts and voicemails. The reason that I put this up there and down here is because I'd like to characterize this as something completely different. I belong to a club, and I am the only member. I am the President of DCA, the Drunk Communicators Anonymous. I have fallen off the wagon a few times already and will most likely continue, but I just gotta get back on the wagon! haha
NO MORE DRUNK COMMUNICATIONS!
THE UGLIER(Not a Snowballs Chance in Hell)
1. I would like to think I could stop getting into "Skirmishes" with the elderly, seeing as how I went to the gym this morning and could barely walk on my "'Geriatrically' Assaulted" heels. But this one is out of my control. I have so far been called a "queer" by "Father Time" at Trader Joe's in West Hollywood, A "Big Bald Asshole" by this salt and peppered nut job on Santa Monica, and my most recent run-in with this Yiddish squawking crow at Walgreens. And this is all since the beginning of September!!! I think this one is really out of my hands. I need to wear a shirt that says "I karate chop the elderly" for intimidation purposes.
Oh and speaking of "Walgreens Hussy", I wrote the story and got 14 texts messages from friends who read it say things like, and I quote, "I totally though you would have kcked(sp) the old biddy's ass" and "I could just see you knocking her in the face with your gallon of milk" and, my personal favorite "...i imagine you had a VERY tough decision to make there...there's something about clocking the battleaxe that would be severely satisfying..." REALLY??? Do I come across as the kind of person that smacks around the youth challenged? I hope not...Hope y'all have a lovely Monday. I'm out...
If I can think of anymore I will post them. Anyone else have any fun resolutions?
Sunday, January 4, 2009
White Devil...
A few reasons why I love my neighborhood...
I went to the gym at 7AM today and did my usual routine but added in some additional cardio. I tried adding 15 minutes onto the stair climber in addition to my usual 25 on the bike and 20 on the elliptical. My legs were shaky and already sore and I was a bit irritable. As I am driving back on Pico at about 9:15, two cars are stopped at the red light. They two people, a middle-aged man and an older woman were talking. The light turned green...They continued to talk...I waited a solid 4 seconds and then, in Los Angeles fashion rolled down my window, laid on my horn and screamed "Green Light Idiot." The woman in front of me rolls her window down, and signals me to go around...REALLY??? So I gassed it unnecessarily and whipped around her with my horn going the whole time...The nerve...
I got back to my place, parked and walked next door to Walgreens to get some goodies. Skim Milk, Crest Vivid White Toothpaste, Crest Whitening Weekly paste, and Roc Salicylic Acid Skin Cleanser...What...I'm gay...Its acceptable. So I am standing in line with my fabulous purchases when I get rear-ended, in a bad way, in the ankles by a shopping cart. I turn around and am instantly mortified...She looked deep into my eyes, my soul was exposed, my hands full, may nerves unraveling...It was the "Road Block" from earlier, and you bet your ass she knew who I was too. I turned back around and waited for it to hit me like a ton of bricks. And it did.
Artists Rendering...
She pushed her shopping cart hard into my ankles...My eyes welled up, I have bruises on my Achillies Tendon now. She hits me a third time, that's it, one more time and I'm doing 35-Life for premeditated genocide...She waited for a bit...Let the line move up, took aim, and fired. She hit me so hard with her cart the fourth time I bumped into the guy in front of me. I turned around and in a big, deep, loud, "straight" voice (I figured embarrassing her would make her back off, wrong)I said, "Excuse Ma'am, please watch my ankles. She smirked at me. I was getting my ass kicked by a 65 year old woman, whose basket was full of Werthers Originals, Depends and Ace Bandages. I finally got out of her way, and got up to the register. I was about to cry from the pain at this point, and everyone in the stupid store, which was uncharacteristically crowded, was staring at me, begging me to cry, they wanted to see some action, but there was none to be had.
I paid for my goodies, which we the only things keeping me from curling up on the floor and crying in agony...Again, I get excited by teeth whitening products...As I was walking out she yelled across the store, Meshuga Goy...Had no idea what it meant, so I turned around and did what any self-respecting grown man would do after receiving the beat down of his life from an Estelle Getty Wannabe...I stuck my tongue out at her and made face.
I looked up Meshuga Goy and found it to be Yiddish for Crazy Gentile...Wow, she is perceptive, I am usually mistaken for a Jewish man in this neighborhood.
My ankles are on fire along with the rest of my legs and my spirit is tarnished like cheap silver. But I must move on...After all, I have teeth whitening toothpaste now!!!
I went to the gym at 7AM today and did my usual routine but added in some additional cardio. I tried adding 15 minutes onto the stair climber in addition to my usual 25 on the bike and 20 on the elliptical. My legs were shaky and already sore and I was a bit irritable. As I am driving back on Pico at about 9:15, two cars are stopped at the red light. They two people, a middle-aged man and an older woman were talking. The light turned green...They continued to talk...I waited a solid 4 seconds and then, in Los Angeles fashion rolled down my window, laid on my horn and screamed "Green Light Idiot." The woman in front of me rolls her window down, and signals me to go around...REALLY??? So I gassed it unnecessarily and whipped around her with my horn going the whole time...The nerve...
I got back to my place, parked and walked next door to Walgreens to get some goodies. Skim Milk, Crest Vivid White Toothpaste, Crest Whitening Weekly paste, and Roc Salicylic Acid Skin Cleanser...What...I'm gay...Its acceptable. So I am standing in line with my fabulous purchases when I get rear-ended, in a bad way, in the ankles by a shopping cart. I turn around and am instantly mortified...She looked deep into my eyes, my soul was exposed, my hands full, may nerves unraveling...It was the "Road Block" from earlier, and you bet your ass she knew who I was too. I turned back around and waited for it to hit me like a ton of bricks. And it did.
Artists Rendering...
She pushed her shopping cart hard into my ankles...My eyes welled up, I have bruises on my Achillies Tendon now. She hits me a third time, that's it, one more time and I'm doing 35-Life for premeditated genocide...She waited for a bit...Let the line move up, took aim, and fired. She hit me so hard with her cart the fourth time I bumped into the guy in front of me. I turned around and in a big, deep, loud, "straight" voice (I figured embarrassing her would make her back off, wrong)I said, "Excuse Ma'am, please watch my ankles. She smirked at me. I was getting my ass kicked by a 65 year old woman, whose basket was full of Werthers Originals, Depends and Ace Bandages. I finally got out of her way, and got up to the register. I was about to cry from the pain at this point, and everyone in the stupid store, which was uncharacteristically crowded, was staring at me, begging me to cry, they wanted to see some action, but there was none to be had.
I paid for my goodies, which we the only things keeping me from curling up on the floor and crying in agony...Again, I get excited by teeth whitening products...As I was walking out she yelled across the store, Meshuga Goy...Had no idea what it meant, so I turned around and did what any self-respecting grown man would do after receiving the beat down of his life from an Estelle Getty Wannabe...I stuck my tongue out at her and made face.
I looked up Meshuga Goy and found it to be Yiddish for Crazy Gentile...Wow, she is perceptive, I am usually mistaken for a Jewish man in this neighborhood.
My ankles are on fire along with the rest of my legs and my spirit is tarnished like cheap silver. But I must move on...After all, I have teeth whitening toothpaste now!!!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
"Mae-wedge"
If anyone can tell me where post title comes from, you get bonus points. Today was my brothers wedding. so of course the last few days involved quite a bit of debauchery!
I drove down to San Diego on New years day and started getting ready for my brother bachelor party. It was nothing too elaborate, just all the guys over for booze, poker and some good times...
I was so tired when I woke up yesterday, that I almost slept through rehearsal. Showed up a couple minutes late, ran through the motions. Left the church and raced home to meet Jefferson who came down from LA for the wedding and was waiting at my parents place. We ate, socialized drank more and I finally was in bed at around 11 or so. No, 11 is not that late, but I was hurting really bad from the last 4 late nights.
I showed up to the church this morning, late, and got all ready. We took a ton of pics which I will be posting on my myspace soon, and then we were off to the races. During the ceremony, there was hard found a dry eye in the crowd. Towards the end, they did a unity candle along with a separate for my grandfather who passed 1 year and 6 days ago, and Allyson's younger sister Ashleigh who passed in the Paradise fire on October 26th, 2003. I lost it and started tearing up. I looked down at my grandma and she was blotting her eyes. So sad, but there was so much good happening everything was okay...
The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch. The only other responsibility I had was to deliver the best man's toast. I procrastinated and did not write anything until the last minute. Friday afternoon, I E-mailed David a REALLY rough copy, and asked if he had any suggestions. He offered up a couple of awesome anecdotes, and the speech went really well. The two parts that David suggested I add were received well, and got some pretty hearty laughs! Thanks D.
I just got back to LA tonight and am now looking for something to do. I was exhausted earlier, but am now kinda bored and not too tired.
Oh, and for my San Diegans... How about them Chargers?!?!?!
I drove down to San Diego on New years day and started getting ready for my brother bachelor party. It was nothing too elaborate, just all the guys over for booze, poker and some good times...
I was so tired when I woke up yesterday, that I almost slept through rehearsal. Showed up a couple minutes late, ran through the motions. Left the church and raced home to meet Jefferson who came down from LA for the wedding and was waiting at my parents place. We ate, socialized drank more and I finally was in bed at around 11 or so. No, 11 is not that late, but I was hurting really bad from the last 4 late nights.
I showed up to the church this morning, late, and got all ready. We took a ton of pics which I will be posting on my myspace soon, and then we were off to the races. During the ceremony, there was hard found a dry eye in the crowd. Towards the end, they did a unity candle along with a separate for my grandfather who passed 1 year and 6 days ago, and Allyson's younger sister Ashleigh who passed in the Paradise fire on October 26th, 2003. I lost it and started tearing up. I looked down at my grandma and she was blotting her eyes. So sad, but there was so much good happening everything was okay...
The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch. The only other responsibility I had was to deliver the best man's toast. I procrastinated and did not write anything until the last minute. Friday afternoon, I E-mailed David a REALLY rough copy, and asked if he had any suggestions. He offered up a couple of awesome anecdotes, and the speech went really well. The two parts that David suggested I add were received well, and got some pretty hearty laughs! Thanks D.
I just got back to LA tonight and am now looking for something to do. I was exhausted earlier, but am now kinda bored and not too tired.
Oh, and for my San Diegans... How about them Chargers?!?!?!
Friday, January 2, 2009
New Years Eve...
So I am not sure how many of you have been on the edge of your seat waiting for this, but here it is...My partial recollection of what I think I remember happening on Wednesday night/Thursday Morning.
My day started off with cotton mouth and a headache. I woke up at David and Richards place, sleeping on a 4 foot long love seat. From what I recollect, it was comfy...But that's not important. I went home to get cleaned up and headed back to David's to pick up the boys up for a shopping trip of mammoth proportions. I already wrote about this in more detail in my previous blog...
As far as NYE goes, I met with David and Richard at about 8PM or so. We had a quick beverage and headed out. Our first stop was Phil and RD's casa. I had never been there before and was looking forward to getting to know some of these new folks that I have kinda met throughout the last year or two. It took David about 10 minutes to start calling for shots. I made a batch of "Holiday Cheer" and tray passed them like the Bartender I once was. We grabbed a few more drinks, socialized and then headed out around 10:15 to another party. We had a couple more beverages and then decided to go to the Abbey.
The line was roughly 100 people deep and it was not moving. I was lucky enough to have pulled some strings earlier and we got to go in the back door. A special thanks to Jesse and Dana! You guys rock! So we got in in time for the countdown. I was sauced and feeling daring...In my drunken ineptitude(or brilliance depending on your point of view) I leaned in and asked David for a New Years Eve Kiss, and JACKPOT!
I was a bit weary about not really having plans for NYE, but it all ended up well.
I had a fantastic night and look forward to many more with my new found amigos!
My day started off with cotton mouth and a headache. I woke up at David and Richards place, sleeping on a 4 foot long love seat. From what I recollect, it was comfy...But that's not important. I went home to get cleaned up and headed back to David's to pick up the boys up for a shopping trip of mammoth proportions. I already wrote about this in more detail in my previous blog...
As far as NYE goes, I met with David and Richard at about 8PM or so. We had a quick beverage and headed out. Our first stop was Phil and RD's casa. I had never been there before and was looking forward to getting to know some of these new folks that I have kinda met throughout the last year or two. It took David about 10 minutes to start calling for shots. I made a batch of "Holiday Cheer" and tray passed them like the Bartender I once was. We grabbed a few more drinks, socialized and then headed out around 10:15 to another party. We had a couple more beverages and then decided to go to the Abbey.
The line was roughly 100 people deep and it was not moving. I was lucky enough to have pulled some strings earlier and we got to go in the back door. A special thanks to Jesse and Dana! You guys rock! So we got in in time for the countdown. I was sauced and feeling daring...In my drunken ineptitude(or brilliance depending on your point of view) I leaned in and asked David for a New Years Eve Kiss, and JACKPOT!
I was a bit weary about not really having plans for NYE, but it all ended up well.
I had a fantastic night and look forward to many more with my new found amigos!
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