This coming weekend...

First of all, I'd like to say, wow! my blog got 5 comments in one day! I was so eccstatic I pooped my pants. My first thought was, "Wow! People like me!" Then reality set in and I came to the realization that this blog focuses on me screwing up and generally being miserable...You all suck.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Kelly and Russell are heading up here tomorrow evening to hang out and then we are off to Camelot as soon as I get out of work on Friday. Its Xmas dinner time!! A time of year where everyone from our UC Davis crew, about 40-50 people get together at the Dixon moose lodge and drink until it runs down your leg. I have not seen many of these people since last years dinner, so it should be eventful. This will be the first Davis dinner that I have not had a date to...

"Back for one night only! Straight Brandon the Lady Killer!!!"

Seriously, if you are a lady, and don't have any creepy-crawlies...I'll leave it at that.

So from Friday evening to Sunday around noon, I'll be in Davis. If there is anyone out there who I have not seen in a while and will be in the area, hit me up, I am sure we'll be out on Friday evening!

Oooops, my bad, you ________ (Enter expletive here)

Those of you who know me personally are aware that I am never at a loss for words. whether they have four syllables or four letters, good words bad words, skinny words fat words. Words at the wrong time words that rhyme....Ok, so that's enough of that. I am especially selective of my words around Kelly. Selective, meaning, the filthier the better. I have been trying to contact Kelly for about two weeks now. My regimen involves calling her and telling her to get off of Chris and answer her phone (usually in more descriptive wording). I even sent her a text message to "Close your legs, I can smell your_______(Insert six-letter word, beginning with "s" and ending with "natch") all the way in the kitchen.

Normally, she fires right back at me, but never a response...I called Russell to confirm her phone number was still up to date..Well, turns out I have been texting and calling an older woman in La Jolla named Cynthia...Hell points...A lot of them...