Sometimes I wish I was dumb. I wish my mind was numb. I wish I had a calm, complacent mind that did not wander...but INSTEAD....I am stuck with this big damn balding dome on top of my shoulders...When I am bored, my mind races, I think about everything, I worry about everything,I ponder all the what-ifs, how-comes, and why-woulds of everyday existence. I should be thinking about something constructive, like, where should I get a second Job, when should I return to school, how can I better myself, my life? etc. Instead I sit here on the couch, thinking, and sometimes its depressing, sometimes its enlightening, but every thought pertains to something that is out of my control. I cannot control what others do, think and feel, but I still manage to waste, what could be valuable time being consumed by thought. I have a philosophy about not sweating the small stuff in life, but recently I have not exactly adhered to that philosophy.
Maybe its just human nature to wonder...to put yourself in different situations and position, or maybe its the 5 shots of iced espresso that I have had over the last 30 minutes...Haha, either way, its time to get ready for work. Sorry I am not more entertaining today. I will try to pick another fight with the elderly/homeless for your entertainment...
B
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